Happy 71st Birthday, Twinkies!
April 6, 2001 2:05 PM   Subscribe

Happy 71st Birthday, Twinkies! Let's all just stop flinging doo-doo and bangin' the baloney for a moment and enjoy a true American original -- Twinkies-- which were invented 71 years ago. I'll bet the very first package still hasn't reached its freshness expiration date.
posted by briank (27 comments total)
Did you know the wrapper will decompose before the twinkie will?
posted by SpecialK at 2:10 PM on April 6, 2001

Well considering the twinkie is inside... LOL
posted by fusinski at 2:15 PM on April 6, 2001

'net oldie but goodie: The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. project. (including results in haiku form!)
posted by girlhacker at 2:18 PM on April 6, 2001

Hoho! I remember linking to the TWINKIES project on one of my first home pages like 6 years ago... shweet :) ... haven't seen that one in a while. I always likes the solubility test the best.
posted by fusinski at 2:20 PM on April 6, 2001

every once in a great while i'll have some flash of twinkie-at-lunchtime inspired happiness and go and buy one.

You can't re-live the past. I've learned that truth with twinkies, now i just need to learn it with ex-girlfriends.

Zingers are better.
posted by th3ph17 at 2:29 PM on April 6, 2001

I was originally going to post something clever about the "Twinkie defense" used in the Harvey Milk/Moscone murder trial, but after a little bit of research, it seems that most of what I thought I knew is wrong.

According to this Snopes article, several media outlets made the mistake of reporting that "junk food was claimed as the cause of [Dan] White's depression rather than as an indicator of his depression."

See, you learn something new every day. Twinkies DON'T make you kill people. (They might lead to your own death, but that's a different story.
posted by waxpancake at 2:38 PM on April 6, 2001

The sugar in Zingers is still all granular when you eat them . Twinkies are spongy cream filled goodness. They are my absolute favorite snack cake, and Hostess snack cakes are my favorite group. Zingers (and the whole Dolly Madison group) represented the cost cutting years when mom used to buy my lunch snax at Target. Zingers and those weird "fries" with Andy Capp on the packet. Since they didn't sell Devil Dogs and Krimpets where I lived, they were never even in the running.

Twinkies (with pb&j and potato chips) are #2 on my all time hit parade of comfort food. #1 is grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, and #3 is macaroni and cheese (made with shells and velveeta - not the box kind). Maybe the "you can't go back" thing just doesn't apply because I never stopped, but those foods have magic nurturing qualities for me.

Oh, and I couldn't speak to the shelf life of twinkies, since they seldom last more than a few days in my pantry...

(I have nothing to add about the twinkie defense, other than to say that I had no idea it was an UL)
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 2:43 PM on April 6, 2001

i will admit though, a weakness for frozen twinkies cut into little bits. Warm twinkies are just a bit too greasy for me.

when i was a kid i held the zingers a bit higher in the food-chain because of the frosting. With that in mind the Chocodiles--basically a chocolate covered twinkie--were sort of Magical...but didn't fare too well in the summer.
posted by th3ph17 at 2:54 PM on April 6, 2001

On this date in 1930, Twinkies were born.
On this date in 1971, Igor Stravinsky died.
On this date in 1992, Isaac Asimov died.
On this date in 1998, Tammy Wynette died.

posted by Aaaugh! at 4:02 PM on April 6, 2001

Twinkies. Hmm. Never ate one. By the time I had a desire to, I learned that they're not kosher, so I didn't. I have enjoyed an occasional Little Debbie Golden Creme, though, and I have a feeling that the similarities are enough that I've had the Twinkie experience vicariously.
posted by Dreama at 4:05 PM on April 6, 2001

...on my all time hit parade of comfort food. #1 is grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup...

Oooh, it's grilled cheese sandwiches and cream of potato soup for me! I also remember Chocodiles. Ding Dongs were my favorite, though. Has anyone here ever eaten a pink Snoball?
posted by doublehelix at 4:48 PM on April 6, 2001

My friend Tony and I would always stock up on Chocodiles and Mountain Dew before any worthwhile road trip. We'd be bouncing off the car walls by the time we'd get wherever we were going.

We never had Dolly Madison cakes when I was growing up, we'd only see the commercials on the Peanuts cartoon specials. I remember the very first package of Zingers I ever bought at the old Dominick's on Church Street in Evanston, my freshman year of college. They were chocolate (natch).

Recently I had some devil's food Twinkies -- they were on sale at the supermarket 2/$1.00 -- but I don't think I can remember the last time I had an original Twinkie.

All other snack cakes pale beside the majesty that is Drake's Funny Bones -- chocolate cake, chocolate coating, and peanut butter creme filling. Snack cake perfection.
posted by briank at 5:23 PM on April 6, 2001

I dimly remember having a pink Snoball at some point in the distant past. I also dimly remember being none too thrilled with the experience; hence no more recent Snoball-themed recollections. :-p
posted by youhas at 8:09 PM on April 6, 2001

My lunch snack of choice was the Chocodile, although sometimes my mom would pack me twinkies. Now that I am grown up, and Krispy Kreme is in town, I think I will make the midmorning snack change to the glazed doughnut.
posted by Littlebro at 7:41 AM on April 7, 2001

Anyone read the last link? It's a joke site, right?

Seeking reassurance, Andrew
posted by andrew cooke at 8:19 AM on April 7, 2001

I hope it's a joke:

Certain supposedly "primitive" tribes in Africa have completely eliminated Masturbation among their women! How was this amazing feat accomplished? Through a very simple operation called a Clitoridectomy, which is analogous to circumcision in the male. (Clitoridectomy has gotten a bad reputation in the West, but only because in Africa it is often done with crude instruments, without anesthesia, and under unsanitary conditions. When it is mandated in America it will, of course, be done in a sterile, modern operating room with anesthesia.) A woman who has had a Clitoridectomy is permanently cured of Masturbation and other lascivious behavior, but the Godless bureaucrats in Washington, D.C. have had the audacity to OUTLAW this operation! One of the main goals of Americans For Purity is to not only repeal the laws against Clitoridectomy, but to make it mandatory for female children (who will never miss the part that is removed if it is done early enough). And surgery isn't just for Females! Many have suggested Castration or Clitoridectomy for adult Males or Females that are repeat Masturbatory offenders.
posted by gleemax at 3:16 PM on April 7, 2001

As observed in the other thread, I think we're all agreed that the Anti-Masturbation thing is indeed a joke site. Relax and have a Twinkie.
posted by briank at 6:47 PM on April 7, 2001

I'm good friends with one of the designers working on the Hostess websites (including Twinkies.com) so if any of you have criticisms or complaints, let me know and I'll forward them to her.

Dreama, Little Debbie doesn't compare; only a Twinkie is like a Twinkie. My faves are Ding Dongs, though. The kind in the box from the grocery store, not the kind at gas stations in two-packs (the filling is different). I swear I could live off them if it weren't for the lack-of-adequate-nutrition thing.

BTW, is the Kosher thing just personal or does it have something to do with your church?
posted by daveadams at 8:34 PM on April 7, 2001

Dave, afu reports that Twinkies' ingredients include "animal or vegetable shortening", which means lard, and lard ain't kosher.
posted by Aaaugh! at 9:57 PM on April 7, 2001

Well, I wasn't saying I didn't doubt they weren't kosher, I was asking why Dreama only ate kosher stuff. I thought he was Mormon, not Jewish. Maybe Mormons only eat kosher stuff or maybe it's just Dreama's personal decision? That's what I was asking, but thanks for the info.

I like lard, mmmmmmm....
posted by daveadams at 4:22 PM on April 8, 2001

Dreama has said elsewhere on MF (can't find the link) said she was Jewish. Just your garden-variety conservative black Jewish female web person, that's Dreama! (Sounds like a sitcom premise in there somewhere.)
posted by rodii at 4:37 PM on April 8, 2001

Okay I was just confused then.... sorry. Thanks rodii.
posted by daveadams at 11:08 AM on April 9, 2001

I hate to argue, but nobody bakes a cake as tasty as a Tastykake.
posted by jennyb at 11:44 AM on April 9, 2001

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Jenny, I love you but you are WRONG! I know that in most instances food preferences are subjective, but all right thinking people agree that the superiority of Twinkies is objectively verifiable.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 1:25 PM on April 9, 2001

Until you site a source, Joseph, I stand by my Philly food loyalties.

Care for some scrapple?

p.s. I *heart* you, too.
posted by jennyb at 1:40 PM on April 9, 2001

Scientific Proof.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 3:31 PM on April 9, 2001

posted by jennyb at 8:07 AM on April 10, 2001

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