Want a Kaffiyeh with that Donut?
May 28, 2008 9:28 AM   Subscribe

The Perfect Hate Storm: Malkin vs. Rachael Ray and Dunkin' Donuts. The food blog at epicurious, of all places, presents a concise summary of the dustup that resulted when the forces of right-wing punditry ran headlong into the pillars of corporate marketing. If it seems as if there are no winners here (especially since it's not even clear if the scarf in question was a kaffiyeh), at least we can take solace in the fact that no one will be wearing them any more.
posted by yhbc (203 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
Calling for ridiculous boycott: that's a skin flailin'.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:32 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I saw this over at dkos earlier. I clicked through expecting her to be wearing it over her head, in some vaguely "muslimy" way. No...it's just a scarf around her neck. I mean...WTF, rightwing blogosphere? Irony is dead. AGAIN.
posted by DU at 9:32 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


When are people going to catch on to the fact that those people are totally fucking crazy?
posted by delmoi at 9:33 AM on May 28, 2008 [24 favorites]


Poor Michelle Malkin.

It must be hard work to try to out-batshit insane Ann Coulter.
posted by Spatch at 9:36 AM on May 28, 2008 [11 favorites]


Freedom Frappes.
posted by hackly_fracture at 9:37 AM on May 28, 2008 [8 favorites]


Man, I dislike Rachael Ray as much as the next guy, but this is just silly. A society where Dunkin' Donuts and Rachael Ray even exist is bad enough, but this silly posturing and finger pointing over something so incredibly stupid and obviously secular doesn't even deserve acknowledgement.

Crap. I have just contributed to the problem.
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:38 AM on May 28, 2008


My head's too deeply into the Stanley Cup. When I saw this hed I couldn't figure out why Evgeny Malkin was mad at Rachel Ray.
posted by NorthernLite at 9:38 AM on May 28, 2008 [16 favorites]


And, of course, some people have noted the irony of Meghan McCain's fashion choices.

this would be funnier to me, if it wasn't such a great comment on how sad and small the political discourse has become.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:39 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Do we have to give up Arabic numerals now as well?
posted by space2k at 9:40 AM on May 28, 2008 [55 favorites]


In his house at R'mallah, dead Kaffiyeh waits dreaming - The Necroneocon
posted by fleetmouse at 9:42 AM on May 28, 2008 [11 favorites]


Freedom Frappes.

Sounds more like "freedom faps" to me.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:43 AM on May 28, 2008


Let's wait to see what Tony Bourdain has to say about this, I hear he's the president of the Rachael Ray fan club.
posted by fixedgear at 9:44 AM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


"Jihad scarf"? Oy, Gott.
posted by everichon at 9:45 AM on May 28, 2008


Racism against Arabs is typical and acceptable among the right-wing punditocracy. If Ray had been wearing a Non Bai Tho (traditional Vietnamese conical hat), or a yamika, or lederhosen, or a traditional African dress, my guess is Malkin and the right wing haters would not have cared.
posted by ornate insect at 9:45 AM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


never used baby shoes: yeah, I noted the irony (last link).
posted by yhbc at 9:46 AM on May 28, 2008


I don't think wingnuts go to Dunkie's anyhow. Last I checked, they were all owned by furriners.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:46 AM on May 28, 2008


meant yarmaluke, not yamika.
posted by ornate insect at 9:48 AM on May 28, 2008


sorry, yhbc - I only read the epicurious link before being moved to speak. I seem to be having a spate of pre-mature posting problems.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:48 AM on May 28, 2008


For the love of donuts, people.

I'm not even sure where to begin with the ridiculousness. Malkin, who is certifiable, decided that Rachael Ray's paisley scarf was a terrorist symbol? Seriously? Where the hell does she get her ideas, The Onion?

What I don't understand is, doesn't Malkin's stance basically equate to letting the terrorists win? If someone as white-bread as Rachael Ray can't even wear a paisley scarf, then you've let "the terrorists" take complete ownership of black-and-white paisley. Nice going, genius.

In other news, Michelle Malkin has been seen wearing pants. Guess who also wore pants? That's right ...
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:49 AM on May 28, 2008 [8 favorites]


My all-time favorite smackdown: Matthews v. Malkin.
posted by mullingitover at 9:49 AM on May 28, 2008 [10 favorites]


Thank GAWD Arafat never wore culottes or leggings with stirrups. What the hell would Malkin wear to the mall?
posted by tkchrist at 9:50 AM on May 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


I've heard that they also yanked the follow-up ad which had Rachel Ray sitting cross-legged on a prayer rug with an AK-47 while eating an apple fritter.

Cowards.
posted by felix betachat at 9:50 AM on May 28, 2008 [5 favorites]


Sounds like Rachel's in for a little eee veee uh oh.

And I cringe every time she says that.
posted by SteveInMaine at 9:50 AM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


Do we have to give up Arabic numerals now as well?

We are at war with Al-Gebra, and war demands sacrifice. From now on, we no longer buy 12 donuts: we buy a dozen!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:51 AM on May 28, 2008 [21 favorites]


Whenever I see "Malkin" I can't help but think of Al. Ms. Malkin is another person who would benefit from the automatic addition of the "batshitinsane" tag whenever a post is made about her. I know it is probably redundant, but it would help when searching.
posted by TedW at 9:51 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh Michelle, your devotion to histrionic displays of victimization and race-baiting will never cease to amaze me. The day you develop a sense of self-awareness will be a sad day indeed.
posted by Weebot at 9:52 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I love the first comment on the epicurious post:

I was more offended my your comments regarding malkin being a "Racist" than Ray's stylist selecting the scarf. I will cancelling my subscription. Thank you and best wishes.


Uhh... OK, then! I think that sums the whole thing up nicely!

If Ray had been wearing a Non Bai Tho (traditional Vietnamese conical hat)... my guess is Malkin and the right wing haters would not have cared.


Although a few decades ago it would have been seen as a clear indication that she, like Jane Fonda, was a Commie dupe of Uncle Ho.
posted by languagehat at 9:52 AM on May 28, 2008


Felix, now that was funny! Of course, I'm sure the Dunkin Donuts in Gaza sells a pastry that looking like a grenade.
posted by BrooklynCouch at 9:52 AM on May 28, 2008


Why does anybody (I mean anybody, not just people with half a brain) take Michelle Malkin seriously anymore? A full-on right-wing shit fit over Rachael Ray, of all people?
posted by blucevalo at 9:53 AM on May 28, 2008


We are at war with Al-Gebra, and war demands sacrifice. From now on, we no longer buy 12 donuts: we buy a dozen!

No, no. Buy XII donuts.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:54 AM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


That's almost like banning any John Waters film that contains Patty Hearst. Leave Ray alone.
She has nice buns.
posted by doctorschlock at 9:56 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Why does anybody (I mean anybody, not just people with half a brain) take Michelle Malkin seriously anymore?

Because she apparently wields enough power to get a large company to stop running an ad.

I'm tempted to boycott Dunkin Donuts for caving in (if there was one I actually could go to).
posted by drezdn at 9:59 AM on May 28, 2008


IN the 80s, kaffiyehs were totally trendy (as were the "rubber grenade ring" Israeli bangles). I have one I bought from a vendor in New York for $4. I'll start packing for Guantanamo.
posted by Miko at 9:59 AM on May 28, 2008




Look! Over there! It's a black and white scarf. She must be a terrorist like that Barack Hussein Osama guy! Ooh! Over there! A rainbow scarf! Supporting San Francisco values! Stay distracted, plebe. Forget about that curtain and whatever might be behind it.
posted by tyllwin at 10:01 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


No, no. Buy XII donuts.

You're right. We are the new Roman Empire, after all.

And I was so looking forward to Dunkin Donuts' new double chocolate bombe.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:01 AM on May 28, 2008


I'm not even sure where to begin with the ridiculousness. Malkin, who is certifiable, decided that Rachael Ray's paisley scarf was a terrorist symbol? Seriously? Where the hell does she get her ideas, The Onion?

Ask MetaFilter, obviously.
posted by enn at 10:01 AM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Meanwhile, in the dept of things to legitimately get bothered about: Foreclosures in Military Towns Surge to Four Times U.S. Rate
posted by ornate insect at 10:01 AM on May 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


I generally think that anyone wearing a kaffiyeh as a fashion statement is insulting to just about everyone in a number of different ways, including both Palestinians and Israelis, and therefore I support it's increased use, thus nullifying it's meaning in public visual discourse.
posted by Freen at 10:02 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


A society where Dunkin' Donuts and Rachael Ray even exist is bad enough

Wait, when did everyone start hating Dunkin' Donuts? I thought we all hated Rachael Ray and were mildly unimpressed with Dunkin' Donuts.
posted by burnmp3s at 10:05 AM on May 28, 2008


Mullingitover—thanks for that link. Malkin is cute when her eyes bug out.
posted by adamrice at 10:05 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Look! Over there! It's a black and white scarf. She must be a terrorist like that Barack Hussein Osama guy! Ooh! Over there! A rainbow scarf! Supporting San Francisco values! Stay distracted, plebe. Forget about that curtain and whatever might be behind it.

That's right - let's make this simple. We'll tell you what to wear, to avoid any possible suspicion of an independent statement being made, or even an innocuous personal preference being expressed. In the culture wars, even your underwear is political. Here is a comfortable, serviceable utilitarian outfit for all weathers, befitting the people of an honest democracy. Wear it and be joyous!
posted by Miko at 10:06 AM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


If Ray had been wearing a Non Bai Tho, or a yamika, or lederhosen, or a traditional African dress, my guess is Malkin and the right wing haters would not have cared.

And frankly, if those Palestinians weren't standing in the way of Biblical prophesy, they wouldn't care about them either.
posted by three blind mice at 10:06 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


meant yarmaluke

I love that cartoon because the dog is BIG!

Yeah, anyway: Rachael Ray + Dunkin' Donuts + Righty-Tighty Nutjobs = Hellspawn of Unfathomable Horror
posted by Sys Rq at 10:06 AM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


If it seems as if there are no winners here

Dunkin' Donuts took down the ad. It sounds to me like Malkin won.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:07 AM on May 28, 2008


"perfect hate" and "right-wing punditry".... hmmm.
Sounds like this post intended to stir a dustup over something inane. Note even a dustup over something intellectually challenging. Wonder it wasn't yanked. Hmmm...
posted by yazi at 10:07 AM on May 28, 2008


Damn, now I want donuts. Thanks so much.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:10 AM on May 28, 2008


Anti-donutism is about as bad as anti-scarfism.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 10:10 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Someone else made this point somewhere recently, don't remember where, so sorry for repeating it if you've seen it.

Yes, Malkin is insane-- terrified of all sorts of imaginary things, filled with hatred for probably at least 40 percent of Americans (to say nothing of foreigners).

She and people like her controlled the debate in this country when we were "debating" whether or not to invade Iraq. God, I hope never to see anything like it again.
posted by ibmcginty at 10:10 AM on May 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


people should buy cheap scarfs and mail them to michelle - we should always call her "scarf-hating michelle malkin" - if any of us are meeting her in person, we should wear a scarf - we should not describe her as eating her food, but as scarfing down her food

in short, we should never, ever let her forget her stupidity - whenever the name michelle malkin comes up, the immediate thought should be "oh, yeah - she's the one who hates scarfs"

in fact, i've come up with a new word to describe her and her ilk - "scarf-bat" - let's make this a part of the english language
posted by pyramid termite at 10:13 AM on May 28, 2008 [15 favorites]


NorthernLite: My head's too deeply into the Stanley Cup. When I saw this hed I couldn't figure out why Evgeny Malkin was mad at Rachel Ray.

But then again, a few too many Dunkin' Donuts would explain Evgeni Malkin's disappearance in the first two games of the final.
posted by notyou at 10:15 AM on May 28, 2008


OMG! Malkin is wearing a bullet proof vest! A BULLET PROOF VEST, PEOPLE! You know who else wore those? The guys who robbed that bank in North Hollywood.

She's dressed like a COP KILLER!

I DEMAND A BOYCOTT!
posted by quin at 10:16 AM on May 28, 2008


imbcginty, did I miss something, or does the crazy squad not run things in the US anymore? Because, last I checked, your asses were still crazy.
posted by chunking express at 10:16 AM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Some say there is always something to be thankful for. In this instance it's that, had this not been posted to MeFi I would never have known. So I've pretty successfully isolated myself.
posted by dawson at 10:19 AM on May 28, 2008


And the only person to have said something in the last 24 hours that's even more offensive and stupid than Malkin is Sharon Stone
posted by ornate insect at 10:21 AM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


But then again, a few too many Dunkin' Donuts would explain Evgeni Malkin's disappearance in the first two games of the final.

No, no - it's all that *obstruction* from the Red Wings. Oh, and the fact that Ozzie *dives* on Malkin any time he comes near the goal.

MAHAHAHAHAHA.

I FEED ON YOUR TEARS, PITTSBURGH.

Oh, and Michelle Malkin does not warrant discussion.
posted by kbanas at 10:21 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


No, no. Buy XII donuts.

V for Victory!
posted by DU at 10:28 AM on May 28, 2008


So, on the positive side it doesn't appear to be a keffiyah to me. On the minus side it does make her look French.

You decide which is worse.


ho ho, a french joke! Cutting edge humor over at the Jawa Report, be careful.
posted by cmonkey at 10:29 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Well, Rachael Ray's mouth is well known to be a weapon of mass destruction. In the hands of the terrorists, it could unleash untold harm.
posted by Krrrlson at 10:29 AM on May 28, 2008


Malkin couldn't have done this on her own. Sadly, millions of Americans are convinced that she is right. They also got Kaffeyas pulled from Urban Outfitters.
posted by cell divide at 10:34 AM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


Things Conservatives say we cannot do:

1. Wear Paisley Scarves
2. Chew in public
3. Yawn in public
4. Have abortions.


Did I miss anything?
posted by Lord_Pall at 10:35 AM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


Buy a real kaffiyeh from Amazon (while you still can) and support MetaFilter. Don't you just love how non-Arabic the model for the first one looks?
posted by wendell at 10:38 AM on May 28, 2008


Dunkin' Donuts took down the ad. It sounds to me like Malkin won.

Except that she has to, y'know, continue being Michelle Malkin. Pretty godddam Pyrrhic if you ask me,
posted by dersins at 10:41 AM on May 28, 2008 [10 favorites]


1. Wear Paisley Scarves
2. Chew in public
3. Yawn in public
4. Have abortions.


5. Have gay sex without hiding it
6. Visit (cheap) prostitutes legally

Oh, and on the Sharon Stone note.. what she did was ask a question, voicing her thoughts. She didn't say "HA HA CHINA EARTHQUAKE IS KARMA", she said "Is that karma - when you're not nice that the bad things happen to you?".
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:43 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I am hesitant to put the blame on Dunkin Donuts. I do not really think of HATE or EXTREMISM when I think of their sugary snacks, unless it's all a put on and this is only the beginning of a much larger world domination tactic. It's a scarf, I mean really, mistakes happen, I doubt she had control over who puts on her wardrobe for a commercial.
posted by Fizz at 10:48 AM on May 28, 2008


7. Science (based on facts)
posted by DU at 10:48 AM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


How can she wear a scarf when she has no neck.
This goes deeper than any of us realise. It's an epic conspiracy. The rapture is coming.
posted by seanyboy at 10:49 AM on May 28, 2008


There are at least three things in this story I have no desire to eat.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:51 AM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


Like all sane people, I loathe Rachel Ray. But yet, the recipes on her show often seem yummy. Not yum-o, because I'm not clinically retarded, but yummy.

Someday, I'm going to clone Rachel Ray. Lots of times.

Then I'll open a 30 Minute Meals restaurant. You phone your order in, show up, and one of the Rachel Rays cooks your meal for you, start to finish in under 30 minutes. A real, no-kidding Rachel Ray, cloned from her very flesh and with her excuse for a personality imprinted onto the CPU that runs it. It will not need to be a very powerful CPU.

And then, when you're done, you can punch your Rachel Ray right in the face and scream WHERE'S YOUR E V O O NOW? at it, and once you have it on the ground your kids can join in shouting YUM-O every time they kick it in the head, and then push the button and drop it through the rotating knives into the disposal chute.

My God. It'll be beautiful.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:52 AM on May 28, 2008 [22 favorites]


Someone should start a blog dedicated to comparing Coulter and Malking, call it "Batshit and Batshitier."
posted by oddman at 10:53 AM on May 28, 2008


There's a possibility for something good to come out of this:

Hopefully, Ray will address the absurdity of this on her show, thus exposing the inherent indecency and disingenuity of Malkin and her ilk to a whole new, and large, audience.

I don't really know much about Rachel Ray, besides in some vague "TV cook, or maybe Martha Stewart-esque person, or, uh, maybe morning show host" way. But I'm guessing that it might improve our country if the sheer lunacy and hostility of conservatism was exposed to her audience.
posted by Flunkie at 10:54 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


dirtynumbangelboy--the Stone quote is still reprehensible, even if one grants the naivete of her "question." To even ask the question is implictly absurd and explicitly offensive. It's no better than when Falwell blamed gays for 9/11 (something he appears to have apologized for).
posted by ornate insect at 10:55 AM on May 28, 2008


ornate insect writes "the Stone quote is still reprehensible, even if one grants the naivete of her 'question.'"

In all fairness, more Tibetans have been killed under Chinese rule than Chinese who died in the quake. So if it was karma, China got off with a slap on the wrist. The comparison to Falwell-homosexuals-9/11 is non sequitur, given that homosexuals weren't even tangentially involved in 9/11.
posted by mullingitover at 11:08 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


7. Science (based on facts)

Well as long as it's science based on the facts in the Bible, that's perfectly ducky.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 11:12 AM on May 28, 2008


Hopefully, Ray will address the absurdity of this on her show, thus exposing the inherent indecency and disingenuity of Malkin and her ilk to a whole new, and large, audience.

More likely, Ray will begin to describe the process of creating quick, tasty and healthful meals as a religious obligation akin to the early struggles of the Prophet and his followers to conquer Mecca. This new interpretation of jihad as culinary struggle will find its rightful place at the forefront of Islamic reform and Ray herself will become the very picture of the mujahid as suburban epicure. The world-transforming rapprochement between Islam and the West will have begun with the casual juxtaposition of keffiyah and Coolatta. Malkin knows this and is trying to strangle this synthesis in its crib.
posted by felix betachat at 11:12 AM on May 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


The comparison to Falwell-homosexuals-9/11 is non sequitur, given that homosexuals weren't even tangentially involved in 9/11.

Um, I don't think a bunch of peasants in Sichuan province are even tangentially involved in the oppression and killing of Tibetans. Just, y'know, fyi.
posted by dersins at 11:12 AM on May 28, 2008 [5 favorites]


mullingitover--and the thousands of innocent Chinese quake victims were "tangentially involved" in the death of Tibetans? Because they were Chinese? This is a kind of guilt-by-association calculus that makes no sense, and is morally repugnant.
posted by ornate insect at 11:13 AM on May 28, 2008


I don't really know much about Rachel Ray, besides in some vague "TV cook, or maybe Martha Stewart-esque person, or, uh, maybe morning show host" way.

Add "giant mouth" at the end you've pretty much got it.
posted by DU at 11:14 AM on May 28, 2008


Politics shouldn't be allowed to interface with the real world.

Keep it on the internets, plz. There's plenty of dummies available to argue with you there.
posted by smackwich at 11:16 AM on May 28, 2008


Goddamn, mullingitover, I'd come this far, simple Canadian prairie boy that I am, without ever having actually seen Malkin spew her blather live on TV. I thought, hayseed that I apparently am, that I couldn't be shocked any longer by the depths of plug-dumb ignorance that can elevate a person to the national-TV heights of the American right-wing punditocracy. Lo, I was wrong, and I am chastened.

I can comprehend Coulter, because she's so transparently narcissitic and monumentally egotistical that you know she'd play any role to stay in front of the cameras. But good gravy, this woman believes what she's saying, I think. She's lacking in sufficient mental faculties to be a nodding head in an informercial audience, and she makes probably seven figures as a commentator on serious current events?

(Also, while I'm venting, the real curse of the comparatively minor demon that is Rachael Ray is that once you've seen just a single episode of her show, that phrase (ee-vee-oh-so-fucking-precious-oh) so thoroughly embeds itself in your skull like the worst kind of jingle that you find yourself not wanting to add a little of one of the finest culinary gifts on god's green earth to your dishes simply to spite that insipid fucking phrase . . .)
posted by gompa at 11:17 AM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


ornate insect writes "mullingitover--and the thousands of innocent Chinese quake victims were 'tangentially involved' in the death of Tibetans? Because they were Chinese? This is a kind of guilt-by-association calculus that makes no sense, and is morally repugnant."

Well, if you subscribe to the notion that government power derives from consent of the governed then it's direct responsibility, not guilt by association. Of course the same metric applies to any other country which has committed atrocities. If the deep south were leveled by a massive quake and someone said it could be construed as karma for slavery, by the same logic I'd have a hard time disagreeing with them.

At the end of the day I don't really believe in karma anyway, so this is all a really pedantic debate.
posted by mullingitover at 11:18 AM on May 28, 2008


OMG!! They've gotten to the US Special Forces, too!!

(I pity Malkin. It's gotta be tough trying to make a living as a third rate Ann Coulter.)
posted by octobersurprise at 11:23 AM on May 28, 2008


It's a scarf, I mean really, mistakes happen, I doubt she had control over who puts on her wardrobe for a commercial.

Aside from paying attention to Michelle Malkin, what mistake was made here?
posted by flaterik at 11:23 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


mullinigitover--at the risk of derailing the thread further, such "logic" is not logic by any standard, and even to grant it such status is insulting.

The children who just died in China from the quake were not "consenting" to the oppression of Tibet: many of them were too young to even know Tibet existed. It's no different than saying America deserved 9/11 or any such nonsense. After all, why stop at regions or countries: why not extend this "logic" to the entire species? Somewhere someone is doing something bad, and he/she is a human being. Are all human beings therefore guilty of this person's crimes?

In all fairness, more Tibetans have been killed under Chinese rule than Chinese who died in the quake. So if it was karma, China got off with a slap on the wrist. The comparison to Falwell-homosexuals-9/11 is non sequitur, given that homosexuals weren't even tangentially involved in 9/11.

You do realize how incredibly offensive and illogical this comment is, no? You say you don't believe in karma, but you had to throw in the "slap of the wrist" and "in all fairness" comments?
posted by ornate insect at 11:34 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Clearly this American man is a traitor. As is this Brit. This American flaunts his terrorist ties by wearing a Arab scarf and openly associating with the enemy!! Sleeper cell. Another celebrity, this time a Brit, decked out in hate coture, won't they ever learn? Here he is again showing off his crib (check out item number 11), clearly a traitor to Britain!
posted by Pollomacho at 11:35 AM on May 28, 2008


Well, Rachael Ray's mouth is well known to be a weapon of mass destruction. In the hands of the terrorists, it could unleash untold harm.
posted by Krrrlson


I actually read this as Rachel Ray's mouth "could unleash untold HAM" Now that's scary, a giant mouth expectorating endless gobs of ham.

Yesterday I spent 2 hours in Atlanta's airport, and CNN was on the television at my gate, and naturally there was a bunch of BS on about the elections and the posturing by the candidates. There was a whole piece on Obama and his flag pin, and that people don't think he's patriotic because he wouldn't wear one for awhile, and that apparently fuels the whole thing about him supposedly being a Muslim. This shit is all absurd, and the media give it credence by actually reporting on it. Makes me feel sad for the future, that's for sure. And, the fact that this Malkin person gets airplay at all makes it even worse. Hell, the Dharma Bums are probably listed as a terrorist organization now...
posted by Eekacat at 11:36 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


In all fairness, more Tibetans have been killed under Chinese rule than Chinese who died in the quake.

In all fairness, the quake hit in a region populated largely by ethnic minorities, particularly ethnic Tibetans.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:38 AM on May 28, 2008


Well, if you subscribe to the notion that government power derives from consent of the governed then it's direct responsibility, not guilt by association. Of course the same metric applies to any other country which has committed atrocities. If the deep south were leveled by a massive quake and someone said it could be construed as karma for slavery, by the same logic I'd have a hard time disagreeing with them.

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by rocket88 at 11:42 AM on May 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


ornate insect writes "The children who just died in China from the quake were not 'consenting' to the oppression of Tibet"

The children who died in Dresden and Hiroshima were not 'consenting' to the war efforts of Germany and Japan, but the allies saw fit to obliterate them anyway because they were part of the society that was supporting the war efforts of Germany and Japan. When the chips were down, that's the logic that the United States and Great Britain chose to apply. So my conjecture is not without precedent. As for applying it to whole species, humans hunt 'pest' species to extinction, or close to it, without hesitation. Regardless, all this is for naught, because...

ornate insect writes "You do realize how incredibly offensive and illogical this comment is, no? You say you don't believe in karma, but you had to throw in the 'slap of the wrist' and 'in all fairness' comments?"

At the end of the day, I don't believe that Tibet and the earthquake have a goddamned thing to do with each other, other than the fact that they're both horrible tragedies. I'm sorry if you're offended by your interpretation of my remarks.

/derail.
posted by mullingitover at 11:54 AM on May 28, 2008


Y'know, I am a happy guy (in a monkey suit) because I have never even heard of Rachel Ray or Michelle Malkin! Ann Coulter, yes, but not these other two knotheads. And y'know what else? I am not clicking on any of the links, because I do not want to know anything at all about them!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:55 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm still pissed off that nobody can get my order right. Large kaffiyeh, regular, and a chocolate cruller: is that SO HARD? They keep putting sugar on my scarf, I mean, WTF?! And why does the guy behind the counter look like Doug MacKenzie?

(Oh wait, this is a dream, right? Damn, another Metafilter dream; I gotta do something else with my life.)
posted by not_on_display at 11:55 AM on May 28, 2008


If the deep south were leveled by a massive quake and someone said it could be construed as karma for slavery

How about if part of the deep south were wiped out by a hurricane? See, there's the problem though, just as the Chinese earthquake hit minority populated parts of China, Katrina hit parts of the South and guess who got the shit end of the stick? It sure wasn't the folks that deserved retrobution for slavery.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:55 AM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


The only true reason to boycott Dunkin Donuts.
posted by madajb at 11:58 AM on May 28, 2008


So we are seriously..... seriously...... going to debate the moral soundness and political implications of something Sharon Stone said in a runway interview.

So today we learned -

- Duncan Doughnuts is a big corporation that does knee jerk things in the name of marketing.

- Rachel Ray is a network drone rather than a impeccable foodie.

- Michelle Malkin's veracity is in question.

- Sharon Stone might have said something dumb about the intersection of Indic religions and natural disasters.

Trying to say something smart about something this dumb is perhaps not worthwhile. Perhaps.
posted by Ragma at 11:59 AM on May 28, 2008 [9 favorites]


I always knew there was something fishy about our President, but until Ms. Malkin pointed out the subtle and cunning new face of insidiobliminacy, I never quite realized how dangerous his refusal to drink alcohol is. Muslims don't drink!!!! His statement may seem insignificant, but when it leads to the mainstreaming of violence -- unintentionally or not -- it matters! Ignorance is no longer an excuse.
posted by [@I][:+:][@I] at 11:59 AM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Do not tell Malkin that coffee is a beverage that came to the west by way of the Muslim world.
posted by srboisvert at 12:00 PM on May 28, 2008 [9 favorites]


I'm sorry if you're offended by your interpretation of my remarks.

No thanks for a non-apology, as the remarks in question are cold-hearted, nonsensical, and practically beg to be "misinterpreted."
posted by ornate insect at 12:03 PM on May 28, 2008


I don't know what's wrong with me, but Michelle Malkin turns me on. I am sorry, I know it is wrong to say it and wrong even to feel it. Please someone help me, I feel so dirty.
posted by Meatbomb at 12:09 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


retrobution

Apt coinage.
posted by everichon at 12:09 PM on May 28, 2008


There's at least ... one ... thing in this thread I have no desire to eat.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 12:11 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


languagehat, did you see the epicurious author's response to the first comment?

"Subscription" to Epicurious? I think you need to re-read your Inter-Webs User's Manual.
posted by Tehanu at 12:12 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Duncan Doughnuts

I'll bet you had Fruit Loupes for breakfast.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:15 PM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


I generally think that Jihadists have smaller hands than Rachel Ray.
posted by Lord_Pall at 12:19 PM on May 28, 2008


Meatbomb writes "I don't know what's wrong with me, but Michelle Malkin turns me on. I am sorry, I know it is wrong to say it and wrong even to feel it. Please someone help me, I feel so dirty."

There's no shame in that. Some people feel the same way about Ann Coulter. [nsfw text, on an epic scale]
posted by mullingitover at 12:21 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Something to note about both the Dunkin Donuts and Urban Outfitters pulling the kaffiyehs are that both DD and UO donate large amounts of money to Republicans and conservative causes. UO could give two shits whether liberals think that they peddle racist claptrap under the aegis of irony, but shit their britches when someone they consider an intellectual ally turns them into a scapegoat.
posted by klangklangston at 12:23 PM on May 28, 2008 [5 favorites]


Tehanu, I chuckled when I saw that but then I decided to be charitable. Epicurious = Conde Nast = Bon Apetit, Gourmet, etc so maybe the commenter thinks they are cancelling their print subscription. Maybe.

I did throw a rock through the window of my local DD in protest.
posted by fixedgear at 12:25 PM on May 28, 2008


Er, sorry for the derail. The line that Stone was drawing is somewhat repugnant, but it's lazy to say that she outright stated it was karma, rather than what she did, which was noddle on it. Please, those of you who like to put words in my mouth, please note: it is still an awful inference to draw. I was just pointing out that it makes more sense to be precise about what she said.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:26 PM on May 28, 2008


Of course Stone may be friends with HH the Dalai Lama, but her statement reflects a pretty American misunderstanding of karma, and ignores the way in which Buddhist metaphysics considers things like government as something of a shared illusion.

At the very least, Tibetan Buddhist texts say that the most miserable of humans are still better for not having been born as a god, demon, animal or ghost. And karma is such a deep and vast thing that it's foolish to say that a specific event is a direct karmic consequence of some specific karmic action.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 12:35 PM on May 28, 2008


Michelle! Michelle! You've got to do something! Just look at this picture!
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:41 PM on May 28, 2008


America Runs on Dunkin' Donuts
posted by PHINC at 12:43 PM on May 28, 2008


both DD and UO donate large amounts of money to Republicans and conservative causes

As does Amazon.com [ 2000 | 2004 ].

So when you buy that scarf through Metafilter, through Amazon, you're not only supporting the global jihad, you're also giving money to Republican thugs to keep that jihad going. Buying from Amazon helps support the war on Iraqi civilians. Do your patriotic duty and consume now.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:48 PM on May 28, 2008


Paisley: The design that Jesus hates.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:49 PM on May 28, 2008


I wish Arafat had worn capri pants or crocs or gymshorts that say things like "Juicy!" on them. I could really do without those.
posted by brundlefly at 12:54 PM on May 28, 2008 [14 favorites]


Remember that Simpsons Halloween episode where all the advertising mascots come to life and start destroying the town, and Lisa figures out that if no one pays attention to them they'll become powerless and revert to their original inanimate state? That's the same way to defeat people like Michelle Malkin, and you don't even need Paul Anka to distract you.

Just don't look! Just don't look!
posted by DecemberBoy at 12:58 PM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Do not tell Malkin that coffee is a beverage that came to the west by way of the Muslim world.

Even the species name, coffea arabica, betrays its association to terrorists. We need an all-American company like Monsanto to produce a coffea patriotica!
posted by Pyry at 12:59 PM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


Well, DD prolly sells robusta, but point taken.
posted by fixedgear at 1:08 PM on May 28, 2008


I looked through the Amazon donations for 2006 and '08 as well. The company apparently gives more to whoever happens to be in power or is expected to be in power at any given moment. In '08 the company's PAC has given considerably more to Democrats.

Back to the discussion of this depressing and pathetic boycott.
posted by raysmj at 1:08 PM on May 28, 2008


Is Michelle Malkin allowed to speak on TV because she's nice looking ( hate to say it but its true)? I can't think of any other reason, seriously. She's a fucking halfwit among morons but she gets airtime, and I can only guess it because she looks like she could be a Grey's Anatomy cast member.
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:14 PM on May 28, 2008


Urban Outfitters Pulls T-Shirt Glorifying Children as Terrorists.
"Last week, international retailer Urban Outfitters offered the world a provocative hate-inspiring T-shirt with a blatant anti-Israel message that offends Jews, Israelis, and anyone interested in the truth. Perhaps worse, it glorifies child abuse and exploitation, as well as terrorism.

The T-shirt portrays a young Palestinian youth with a keffiya around his neck, clutching an AK-47 in three images. Also pictured on the shirt are the Palestinian territories, and the Palestinian flag. The shirt’s bottom is emblazoned with the word 'Victimized' embellished with a red blood image threading through the word. Numerous emails and blogs picked up on the item. A barrage of complaints to Urban Outfitters ensued.

....In 2004, Urban Outfitters was criticized for merchandising a T-shirt with the slogan, 'Everyone loves a Jewish Girl' with dollar signs and shopping bags as the image. This played on the stereotype of a 'Jewish American Princess' with money being the most important aspect of a Jewish girl’s life. After criticism from the Anti-Defamation League, this item was pulled from store shelves and replaced with a shirt sporting the same slogan but no image.

In December of 2007, great controversy erupted over another Urban Outfitters item. The company’s online and print catalog featured the black and white 'Arafat Keffiya' pictured on a young man and sold as “the Anti-War Scarf.” At the time, the scarf was associated with supporters of Al Fatah, Hamas, and Al Qaeda, and was equally familiar as an icon on the videos of beheadings, and celebrations after the murders of 9/11.

....About two months later, Urban Outfitters began reselling the Arafat Keffiya, but now in psychedelic colors. Prominent displays were set up at front of the stores. Evidently, stuck with a glut of 'Anti-War' Scarves, the merchandisers decided to send the black and white keffiyas to be dyed in pink, turquoise, and yellow."
posted by ericb at 1:18 PM on May 28, 2008


Ragma--for what it's worth, it was not Stone's comments per se, so much as the surprising defense they've received here, that caused me to follow-up.

dirtynumbbangelboy--I agree that what Stone said was somewhat unclear, and has been taken somewhat out of context, but to be precise, her exact comments were as follows:

I’ve been concerned about how we should deal with the Olympics, because they are not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who is a good friend of mine. And then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma – when you’re not nice that the bad things happen to you? And then I got a letter from the Tibetan foundation that they wanted to go and be helpful. And that made me cry...it was a big lesson to me; that sometimes you to have put your head down and be nice even to people who aren't nice to you...

That the Chinese may now ban her films seems unnecessary, but then again her comments display at best a real lack of sensitivity towards a horrible tragedy. The whole absurd and dangerous "karma-as-cosmic-retribution" idea, especially if applied to entire countries or groups of people, is as patently silly as it is heartless.
posted by ornate insect at 1:18 PM on May 28, 2008


Liquidwolf, au contraire, whatever you think of MM, she is a communications genius, having created, or co-created HotAir.com, which is one of about a dozen web sites that is rapidly even-ing the media playing field, neutralizing it's liberal and leftist bias.

(by the way, is she really "nice looking"? I don't quite get that estimation. I guess journalism, like a few other fields has some kind of beauty handicap--that would also explain why some find Anne Coulter attractive, I guess.)
posted by BrooklynCouch at 1:23 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]




Even the species name, coffea arabica, betrays its association to terrorists

If bagels and coffee can get along so deliciously, why can't the middle east?

This probably-politically-incorrect thought brought to you by my extremely late brunch of bagel sammich and delicious coffee
posted by flaterik at 1:25 PM on May 28, 2008


Something to note about both the Dunkin Donuts and Urban Outfitters pulling the kaffiyehs are that both DD and UO donate large amounts of money to Republicans and conservative causes.

Urban Outfitters Pimps Obama, Your Love
"Liberal politics and mass consumption are difficult, if not impossible, to reconcile....So it should come as quite a bore to learn that Urban Outfitters, is actually run by an evil conservative genius named Richard Hayne, who takes the 28 bucks you spend on an Obamaniac shirt and parlays it into a fatty donation to the Republican Party. Beneficiaries have included former Senator Rick Santorum. How truly ironic!"
Square Who Got Hip to Urban Chic
"It seems unlikely that many of the staff or the customers know much about the owner and boss of Urban - a brilliant retailer called Richard Hayne whose views would be a serious risk to sales were his profile to rise.

Hayne started the business in the 1970s, taking it public in 1993 and bringing it to Britain in 1998. He is still the biggest shareholder and a seriously rich man - a billionaire by some estimates. You only have to look to see that there is nothing remotely hip about him. There is surely a bigger gulf between Hayne and his customer base than any other High Street retailer.

Shopping in Urban makes you feel like you are somewhere radically Left-wing, an antidote to the corporate blandness of The Gap. But Hayne is a stanch conservative who donates money to Republican politicians, not least Rick Santorum, a now failed Senator whose views on homosexuality are both bizarre and old-fashioned.

Hayne doesn't give many interviews precisely because he's afraid that college slackers who get to know him will suddenly realise that buying his clothes is like giving cash to George Bush.

Once described as projecting a 'Dick Cheney-esque aura of no-nonsense grayflannel gravitas', Hayne must be the only retailer whose expansion plans depend on no one finding out who he really is.

Despite the strife in the sector, Urban just beat Wall Street profit expectations yet again. So far, the illusion is holding up perfectly."
posted by ericb at 1:26 PM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


which is one of about a dozen web sites that is rapidly even-ing the media playing field, neutralizing it's liberal and leftist bias.

HA! That's a good one!

journalism,

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, ParisParamus, you slay me!
posted by dersins at 1:28 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]





ornate insect writes "but then again her comments display at best a real lack of sensitivity towards a horrible tragedy."

How can you print a quote and not bother to read it? She didn't say it was karma. She said she was asking herself if that's what it was, but had the notion basically smacked out of her head by the Tibetans volunteering to help with the relief effort. Then she wept.

Yep, she's an insensitive clod.
posted by mullingitover at 1:40 PM on May 28, 2008


The Urban Outfitters thing reminds me of how I always feel there's probably a decent-sized group of old racist assholes making big bucks off overpriced "urban" fashion.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:44 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Before I fall into total despair, time to fire up West Bank Story (slow-loading, but worth the wait)
posted by lukemeister at 1:47 PM on May 28, 2008


mullingitover--how you can not bother to read what I wrote? Her question was at best rhetorical and seems, as I said in my post, somewhat unclear, and has been taken somewhat out of context. One way it is unclear is this: sometimes you to have put your head down and be nice even to people who aren't nice to you, which implies that "yes, they deserved the quake, but no need to gloat about it, they still need our help." It really seems to leave too much open, much the way your comments on this thread do.
posted by ornate insect at 1:50 PM on May 28, 2008


Liquidwolf, au contraire, whatever you think of MM, she is a communications genius, having created, or co-created HotAir.com, which is one of about a dozen web sites that is rapidly even-ing the media playing field, neutralizing it's liberal and leftist bias.

OH GOD LAUGHING SO HARD IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP OW OW OW AHAHAHA OH GOD OW CAN'T BREATHE AHHHH *explodes like a meatbomb, flinging bits everywhere*


Dude, what planet do you live on? Is the air especially oxygen rich, or laden with nitrous oxide or something? You should really, truly maybe do a little homework about who actually owns and/or presides on the boards of this "liberally biased" media you bitch about so often.

If by "liberal" and "leftist" you meant "conservative" and "rightist", then I could agree with you. Mainstream corporate media is owned by all the companies that make the bombs we drop, the makers of the engines we use in the planes to get them there, the designers of the electronics that guide their navigation, the companies that make the oil that fuels them and even the big agribusiness companies that feed the soldiers - and the rest of us.

You're really trolling for the left, aren't you? You're just a self-made cartoon character you've invented to make fun of the Right, right? I knew it! Comon' I've got two legs. Pull the other one!

Paris, you were banned. Why are you back?
posted by loquacious at 1:51 PM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Don't miss the upcoming donut-based promotion
posted by jbickers at 2:01 PM on May 28, 2008


ornate insect writes "One way it is unclear is this: sometimes you to have put your head down and be nice even to people who aren't nice to you, which implies that 'yes, they deserved the quake, but no need to gloat about it, they still need our help.'"

Turning a stupid question like "omg karma?" into "lol they totally deserved that but we should be nice" seems like a big stretch to me, but then I think her being buddhist gives her a break and I don't see it as a rhetorical question. If that's really how you read it then I can see how you'd be offended, but to me she picked an easily misinterpreted way to describe her lesson in compassion.
posted by mullingitover at 2:06 PM on May 28, 2008


mullingitover--it is unclear to me whether the lesson she learned was about "turning the other cheek" (which would be a really screwed up lesson, since the victims of the quake have nothing whatsofuckingever with Tibet) or whether the lesson she learned was about realizing that the Chinese people are in fact not a monolithic monster intent on doing "not nice" things to "her firend," the Dalai Lama. She obviously has a pet cause, Tibet, and has a tough time realizing that your average Chinese citizen is just as human as your average Tibetan citizen. That is why I said her quote was unclear. It's also unclear to me b/c it seems both sad and silly that the letter from the Tibetan Foundation was what triggered her to realize this. I think she owes the Chinese an apology, since if I were a survivor of that quake and read her entire quote I would probably be a bit upset.
posted by ornate insect at 2:13 PM on May 28, 2008


I dunno, I think most people reading that quote would see it--as I did--as someone questioning whether something maps onto their religious/spiritual beliefs or not. But you seem to be preferring the Ninth Path: Be Obtuse.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:16 PM on May 28, 2008


dirtynumbbangelboy--take a look at the reaction from AVERAGE Chinese 9not from the government) to the quote that is popping up on the web right now. Over 50,000 people just died in a fucking earthquake; tying it to Tibet in ANY WAY is not just obtuse, it's kind of fucked up.
posted by ornate insect at 2:20 PM on May 28, 2008


I just want to know why Rachel Ray was at the Oregon State Capital?!?
posted by parhamr at 2:37 PM on May 28, 2008


I don't watch TV, so I don't understand why everyone hates Rachael Ray. I just know her as the chick on the magazine covers at the supermarket who I'd kinda like to nail.

But, yeah - this whole episode is the kind of non-debate that keeps us from having any substantive discourse in this country. So she wore a scarf that kinda looks like those worn by a race of people who may or may not all be fanatical terrorists, some douchebag got douchey about it, and some cowardly peddler of sub-par foodstuffs tucked his abnormally small penis between his legs and ran away from the terrifying prospect of losing the "fucking idiot" market.

As far as I can tell, only douchebags were affected by this, so I don't care.
posted by greenie2600 at 3:00 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Liquidwolf, au contraire, whatever you think of MM, she is a communications genius, having created, or co-created HotAir.com, which is one of about a dozen web sites that is rapidly even-ing the media playing field, neutralizing it's liberal and leftist bias.

Neutralizing the media's liberal and leftist bias...hmmm. And she's neutralizing it by pulling shit like this? Turning an innocent item of clothing someone happens to have around their neck in an ad into a protest action? Gee, I'm glad that's the high quality journalism that's going to replace that damn liberal media! These are the stories we need to know about and that the liberal media has been hiding from us all these long years...scarves! If NPR and the BBC hadn't been such pinko commies, we would have known about this earlier and could have prevented this catastrophe before it happened!

Finally. Evidence of liberal and leftist bias in the American news media. [Citation needed] I'm serious. You want to go further with this BrooklynCouch? I get a number of American cable news channels on my TV, and it's hard to find the news on any of them between shimmering eagles and waving flags and ugly, conservative white men yelling about things.
posted by Jimbob at 3:00 PM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Late to the party. Who, exactly, is Rachael Ray?
posted by nax at 3:19 PM on May 28, 2008


"Well, Rachael Ray's mouth is well known to be a weapon of mass destruction. In the hands of the terrorists, it could unleash untold harm."

That blew past me first as "untold ham", something that, unleashed, frankly scared the hell out of me.
posted by Mike D at 3:32 PM on May 28, 2008


So let's see..."Michelle Malkin", check..."Rachel Ray", check..."Sharon Stone", check..."Classic ParisParamus-style derail in a MetaFilter thread", check..."Election Year"...uh-huh. That's pretty much it - it all checks out.

I believe Taco Bell owes me a free order of Cinnamon Twists.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:39 PM on May 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


Hey, I always meant to get myself a keffiyeh. I wonder if I can find one in town.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:55 PM on May 28, 2008


i feel an overwhelming urge to wear my "PLO scarf" every chilly day from now until i get arrested for it. that will make my life all worthwhile--that my favorite old scarf will finally get its day in the spotlight. i don't give a shit that it was "fashionable" and then not, or that it's come around a couple times. this scarf is one of the few items i took from the con man i dated in 1992, in exchange for the three weeks of terror he put me through. that and a messenger bag i wore down to its threads. it's all i got left, man, of that crazy time. regrettably, he wasn't a terrorist... except of MY HEART!

so i'm gonna wear it loud and proud--wear it to city hall, and to the post office, and then the RNC convention, though i'll have to rig it like a halter top or something--oughta be hot. soon enough, some secret service yuck is gonna peg me for the dark terrorist thoughts i must be harboring, since that's what my scarf says. excellent. a perfect capper to a life of unrelenting absurdity. then i can die happy.
posted by RedEmma at 4:07 PM on May 28, 2008


MetaFilter: only douchebags were affected by this, so I don't care.
posted by fixedgear at 4:19 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Well, that got mutilated:

On the record, apparently I'd stand out in a crowd of MeFites for several reasons, not the least of which would be the Dunkin Donuts bag in my hand, vanilla creme on my face, powdered sugar on my I<3>Voodoo, although they're a reasonable substitute.

And RR smeared on my face.
posted by valentinepig at 4:39 PM on May 28, 2008


Last try:

DD: *awesome* *tasty*
RR*awesome* *tasty*

My commenting skills today: *crappy*
posted by valentinepig at 4:40 PM on May 28, 2008


She's not actually all that hot. (SFW)

YMMV, of course.
posted by Stonewall Jackson at 5:12 PM on May 28, 2008


I agree with you, valentinepig, your commenting skills are extremely crappy. And gross. Can we try to avoid comments about Michelle Malkin's or Rachael Ray's or anyone else's hotness? It would be the decent thing to do, and would make the female readers of the site more comfortable and willing to stick around. Thanks.
posted by chowflap at 5:22 PM on May 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


Objectification FTW.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:26 PM on May 28, 2008


Right-wingers would never cook with olive oil (aka EVOO).

Dirty LIBRULS on the West Coast started using it. Real Americans cook with butter!

Olive oil is a traditionally Mediterranean product (that means "Arab" to the paranoiacs).
posted by bad grammar at 5:32 PM on May 28, 2008


And the congregation will bow their heads....

Lord, please spare me from ever having to deal with Michelle Malkin. And help me avoid the temptation of Dunkin Donuts Sour Creme with powdered sugar. I am weak, Lord, WEAK! But I would like a medium coffee with cream and sugar, please.
posted by mmahaffie at 6:13 PM on May 28, 2008


Things Conservatives say we cannot do:

1. Wear Paisley Scarves
2. Chew in public
3. Yawn in public
4. Have abortions.


Did I miss anything?


Wasn't there just something about the rudeness of licking ice cream in public?
posted by etaoin at 6:34 PM on May 28, 2008


Real Americans cook with butter

I have never heard anyone be so wrong ever
.
posted by dersins at 6:36 PM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


the forces of right-wing punditry

I think that's deeply unfair to right-wingers. Michelle Malkin is not a right-wing pundit: she's a stupid-wing pundit. Or a hate-wing pundit.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:47 PM on May 28, 2008


What is this "EVOO" business? I know who RR is but haven't a clue about the things she says.
posted by etaoin at 6:48 PM on May 28, 2008


fff: it was strongly intimated (I didn't research it all that closely) that the "outrage" was originally spawned on - well, certain websites that will not be named here - and that Malkin was just the national figure who noticed it in time to take credit for Dunkin' Donuts' capitulation. That's why I said "right-wing punditry" in the post - in fact, I wasn't going to mention her by name in the post, but at the last minute I included the entire post title from the epicurious blog that did so.
posted by yhbc at 7:03 PM on May 28, 2008


etaoin: EVOO.
posted by yhbc at 7:06 PM on May 28, 2008


I still think it'd be a fine idea to start labeling the moonbats as "hate-wingers." Not all conservative/right-wing folk are bile-spewing hellspawn and they need an opportunity to reclaim their name.

Come to think of it, the same can be said of Christianity. The majority of Christians are fine folk, but the name "Christian" has become tainted by several sects of hateful Christians-in-name-only who need to be given a new name that doesn't confuse Christlike Christianity with their toxic beliefs and practices.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:17 PM on May 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


The bizarre thing here? Malkin most likely got trolled into making an even bigger fool of herself than usual. Thus is life as a wingnut-welfare self-parody.
posted by holgate at 7:26 PM on May 28, 2008


CREAM. For God's sake, people. It is spelled C R E A M, unless you're French. In which case, crème.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:41 PM on May 28, 2008


Hey. I had a creme soda in my chaise lounge earlier today, and it was great!
posted by yhbc at 8:08 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Poor Rachel, is the crazy neo-con lady giving you a hard time? uncle Jonmc'll make it better. I rought some EVOO, baby. Come, drink the wine...
posted by jonmc at 8:32 PM on May 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


What a load of stupid. Malkin would love my Soviet winter coat. And my fist in her face.
posted by TrialByMedia at 9:49 PM on May 28, 2008


The majority of Christians are fine folk, but the name "Christian" has become tainted by several sects of hateful Christians-in-name-only who need to be given a new name that doesn't confuse Christlike Christianity with their toxic beliefs and practices.

Christianism.
posted by aqhong at 11:27 PM on May 28, 2008


If the deep south were leveled by a massive quake and someone said it could be construed as karma for slavery, by the same logic I'd have a hard time disagreeing with them.

You misspelled "entire United States."
posted by oaf at 12:11 AM on May 29, 2008


"Christianism" is good, but it suddenly occured to me we already have a word: anti-Christians. Because, truly, the likes of Hagee and Robertson and so on are very much the anti-Christ described in the bible: evil-doers presenting themselves as righteous Christians, so as to enslave the minds of the gullible.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:17 AM on May 29, 2008


God damn y'all go crazy to feed the Fox News trolls! You even threw in the Christian stuff...

Seriously, direct the "outrage" elsewhere- Malkin and the rest are really nothing more than attention whores. Good job increasing her page views/ad revenue.
posted by Hiding From Goro at 12:45 AM on May 29, 2008


Paisley: The design that Jesus hates.

Funny you should say that...
posted by Pollomacho at 7:44 AM on May 29, 2008


Oh Fawk everyone I put on black sneakers and jeans today!?!!!! This must mean that I secretly support terrorism!!!!!!! My God I swear some people need shot in the head.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 10:23 AM on May 29, 2008


NY Times blog The Lede has a nice comment on this and other matters related to the politics of fried D'OH! today: Doughnuts: The Third Rail of American Politics?

I was interested to see that the right-wing web site that must not be named (or linked to) had a foot in this mess. Takes balls. I'm a small amount green with envy.
posted by mmahaffie at 12:52 PM on May 29, 2008


What the gibbering fuck was that, Pollostevo?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:54 PM on May 29, 2008


That's the Deamon Buster, man. From the link you can see Malkin may be on to something:

Any town by the name of PAISLEY is not a demon or demonic. This article is talking about the PAISLEY PATTERN.

Paisley print is something you see on ties, shirts, blouses, dresses, curtains, rugs, furniture, etc. If you wear it or have it, you may be carrying around and attracting some demons, which could be the cause of some of your "problems".

The following information comes from the Encyclopedia Britannica, 1960 and 1977 editions.

PAISLEY, large burgh, industrial centre, and county town (seat) of Renfrew, Scotland, situated on the River Whate Cart, a tributary of the Clyde. St. Mirren, an Irish monk, is known to have built a church there in the 6th century, but PAISLEY eventually developed as a small village clustered around a Cluniac abbey founded in 1163. The original abbey was burned down in 1307, and the present building dates from the 15th century. The nave (restored 1933) is still used as a parish church. Parts of the abbey buildings were also incorporated in the 17th-century palace of PAISLEY, which is now restored as a 20th-century war memorial.

By the early 18th century, PAISLEY had developed into a manufacturing centre for the hand-loom weaving of linen. At the end of the 18th century the new town was laid out over much of the ground that once belonged to the abbey. During the early 19th century, PAISLEY became famous for its PAISLEY Shawls, copies in silk and cotton of the ASIAN shawls sent back by Scottish soldiers serving in INDIA.

PAISLEY, textile pattern owing its name to the manufacture at the town of PAISLEY, Renfrewshire, of PAISLEY shawls. 1800, patterned shawls made from the soft fleece of the Kashmir GOAT began to be imported to Britain from INDIA, machine-woven wool equivalents were made at PAISLEY to supply the insatiable demand that had been created for "cashmere" shawls.

The rich, abstract, curvilinear patterns, modified from their Kashmir counterparts and deriving ultimately from MUGHAL ART, have continued to be widely adopted in modern textiles, especially for clothing. A motif resembling an ENLARGED COMMA (well-known in MUGHAL decorative art) is the one by which most people recognize a PAISLEY pattern.

MUGHAL (mogul) - Mughal empire of INDIA - MUSLIM dynasty - Mughal carpets - prayer rugs. From 1580 onward JESUIT missionaries introduced western techniques to the Mughals.

COMMA - In music, the PYTHAGOREAN COMMA.

PYTHAGOREAN - A disciple of PYTHAGORAS.

PYTHAGORAS - 5th century B.C. - A noted Greek Sculptor born in Samos, settled in Italy. He became the centre of a widespread organization which was, in its origin, a RELIGIOUS brotherhood or an association for the moral reformation of society rather than a philosophical school. The brotherhood had much in common with the Orphic communities which sought by rites and abstinences to purify the believer's soul and enable it to escape from the "wheel of birth". He believed in the transmigration of the individual soul from one body to another, even of a different species. But if a man led a pure life, his soul might be released from all flesh. It is possible that this held good only for the exceptional man, a SEER such as Pythagoras.

But the view of the body as the tomb or prison of every soul, with philosophy as the meditation of death and release from the body, seems to be attributed to a Phthagorean.

Pythagorean practices and doctrines, particularly that of immortality, is attested in Rome from the 1st century B.C. But it was also a kind of CULT, was noted as a MAGICIAN and as the father of the CABBALA (an occult religious philosophy developed by certain Jewish Rabbis, based on a MYSTICAL interpretation of the Scriptures - occultism; mystical or secret doctrine).

Pythagorean letter; the letter Y, so called because Pythagoras employed it to signify the bifurcation of the good and evil ways of men.

In DELIVERANCE, you should stay away from many things because of the ORIGIN. In the PAISLEY PRINT PATTERN, you have a connection with

CATHOLICS

THE COUNTRY OF INDIA (WITH ALL THEIR GODS)

GOAT HAIR (GOAT IS THE SYMBOL FOR THE DEVIL)

MUSLIMS

PRAYER RUGS

JESUITS

CULTS

SEERS

MAGICIANS

OCCULT

Looking at the rest of our website, you will find out why you should get rid of anything that could be bringing in more demons into your home and your life.

posted by Pollomacho at 1:20 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


[Josh, where are you?]

I agree with you, valentinepig, your commenting skills are extremely crappy. And gross.

Well, I think Cooter is much more graphic than me. As far as I can tell, she's both female and an admin. But I am flattered that you paid attention. Maybe I should change my name to turgidrat.

Can we try to avoid comments about Michelle Malkin's or Rachael Ray's or anyone else's hotness? It would be the decent thing to do, and would make the female readers of the site more comfortable and willing to stick around. Thanks.

Nothing to get all screwed up into the ceiling over. It's both hyperbole and toungue in cheek.

I cannot apologize for appreciating Rachel. Corn syrup sweet. Yum. I have no idea who this Malkin is - not quite sure what you read there. I love Dunkin Donuts and I love Rachel Ray. Even that picture - not quite sure what is so offensive about her to everybody.

And for the record, Voodoo is opening up a 2nd location on the eastside. *THAT'S* something worth getting fat about. Maybe this info should go on the front page...
posted by valentinepig at 1:36 PM on May 29, 2008


Nothing to get all screwed up into the ceiling over.

Since you appear to have missed the lengthy MetaTalk discussions of sexism that enlightened a number of people, let me sum them up for you: mindless remarks about random women mentioned in posts being "hot" are offensive to large numbers of women and add to the perception of MeFi's being a "boyzone," which keeps an unknown but regrettable number of women from participating here. Please don't bother to trot out the various "it's just a joke!" "they should get a hide!" "we all have to put up with shit!" defenses; they're stale and have been demolished many times. Just don't do it, OK? Thanks.
posted by languagehat at 2:08 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


I cannot apologize for appreciating Rachel. Corn syrup sweet. Yum. I have no idea who this Malkin is - not quite sure what you read there. I love Dunkin Donuts and I love Rachel Ray. Even that picture - not quite sure what is so offensive about her to everybody.

Here's a hint: explicitly mentioning your appreciation of both a female celebrity and the food product she endorses in the same context and describing both as yummy and corn syrup sweet is the part where you misstepped. Perhaps you'll argue that you were describing her personality, but your surrounding content in your comment suggest otherwise. Saying you really like both isn't the problem. You would have been ok if you'd said that and then stopped there. It's the sexualizing of the woman in discussion that is the problem.
posted by Tehanu at 2:53 PM on May 29, 2008


Hey, didn't you know that my sexualized food preferences are extremely interesting to everyone else?
posted by Burhanistan at 3:03 PM on May 29, 2008


I was once told that cantaloupe were the best food to fuck, but I have to admit that I never tried to.
posted by klangklangston at 3:05 PM on May 29, 2008


Definition of 'Malkin'.
posted by mike3k at 3:10 PM on May 29, 2008


Hey, didn't you know that my sexualized food preferences are extremely interesting to everyone else?

I knew I had a strange feeling we'd met in real life! Last Saturday, 3 pm. I was walking back from the grocery store. You were driving a blue sedan. You said "hey baby... nice melons!" and I pretended not to hear. How've you been?
posted by Tehanu at 3:26 PM on May 29, 2008


I was once told that cantaloupe were the best food to fuck, but I have to admit that I never tried to.

Meh. It's not that great. It just lays there. But it sure as hell is't as stuck up as Honey Dew melons.
posted by tkchrist at 4:55 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


Dunkin' Donuts pulled the advertisement.

I emailed them to berate them for being so damn stupid as to let a hate-winger nutjob dictate their corporate behaviours. What next, pulling an ad because the friggin' kiddy-diddling club doesn't like what they see?

Boo, hiss, Dunkin' Donuts. Hang your heads in shame!
posted by five fresh fish at 10:19 PM on May 29, 2008


If Rachel Ray cooked a Malkinburger, I'd watch her show.
posted by saysthis at 8:48 AM on May 30, 2008


languagehat: definitely a clear explanation. If I may splice words here, I did not refer to anyone as *hot*. I did not objectify anyone.

Personally I fond it a bit offensive that so many folks were ready to crap on her, which prompted my hyperbolic comment of adoration. An intentional double-entendre. My foul. But clearly, explicitly sexualizing fruit is better.

Forgive me whilst I learn the rules: MeFi say bash woman good, express corporeal adoration baaaaad. Sodomize fruit good. Double-entendre by me: baaaaaaad.

I would definitely sontend my comment was deliberately taken out of context.
posted by valentinepig at 8:53 AM on May 30, 2008


Smaller words, then? Comment on what you dislike about what a woman does or says, usually ok. Comment on what you dislike about how a woman looks, usually not ok. The same goes for expressing your admiration for either. You didn't defend her behavior against comments here-- rather, you described her as both tasty and yummy.
posted by Tehanu at 9:12 AM on May 30, 2008


Forgive me whilst I learn the rules: MeFi say bash woman good, express corporeal adoration baaaaad. Sodomize fruit good. Double-entendre by me: baaaaaaad.

It's pretty simple, actually. Women are people, not animated sex toys placed on the earth for your pleasure and convenience. So treat them and talk about them as people.

For instance, it's cool to talk about how much you like or dislike a particular woman, just as it is cool to talk about how much you like or dislike a particular man.

However, it's substantially less cool to talk about how much you would (or would not) like to insert your penis in them, have oral sex with them, or, as you wrote, "smear" them "all over [your] face."
posted by dersins at 9:13 AM on May 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


I wasn't going to say anything, but as long as we're discussing it, the violence of the humor in this comment made me bow out of the thread early on. It's okay because it's about a robot, not a real woman, I guess. Right?
posted by Miko at 9:28 AM on May 30, 2008


I have never sodomized fruit! I resent that accusation.

We always do it the "regular" way.

Okay. The one time. With that one smooth talking Casaba Melon. But I was drunk and he talked me into it. But never again. I walked funny for a week.
posted by tkchrist at 9:49 AM on May 30, 2008


I wasn't going to say anything, but as long as we're discussing it, the violence of the humor in this comment made me bow out of the thread early on. It's okay because it's about a robot, not a real woman, I guess. Right?

No, I'm pretty sure a clone is flesh and blood. I do love, though, how the violent tirade begins with, "Like all sane people..."
posted by Pollomacho at 10:03 AM on May 30, 2008


Forgive me whilst I learn the rules: MeFi say bash woman good, express corporeal adoration baaaaad. Sodomize fruit good. Double-entendre by me: baaaaaaad.

If you'd rather retreat into your cave and toss grenades, fine by me. Some have an interest in learning, others don't.
*shrugs*
posted by languagehat at 12:09 PM on May 30, 2008


So wait, if I say I'd literally like to taste Michelle Malkin's flesh after masterful preparation by a chef on national television, does that make me sexist? Can we make it a casaba melon dish? And can we put in cucumbers and mayonnaise so I can have my barbaric political justice+delightful culinary euphamism and eat it too?
posted by saysthis at 1:56 PM on May 30, 2008


And intercourse with fruit is rape unless it's consenting.
posted by saysthis at 1:58 PM on May 30, 2008


does that make me sexist?

Yep, somewhat sexist, but with a hint of creepy, and definitely even more than sexist, an instigator employing an adolescent tactic intended to provoke.
posted by Miko at 2:08 PM on May 30, 2008


express corporeal adoration baaaaad

My problem with the "oh, I'd like to get up in them guts" type of comment isn't so much any notion of sexism or boyzone. It's just boring to hear about someone else's sexual yearnings. You might as well be talking about the function of your large intestine. Sure you'd like to bang that hot celebrity. Most of us would also if circumstances allowed. Who cares? It's a type of comment completely lacking in information or utility.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:09 PM on May 30, 2008


So wait, if I say I'd literally like to taste Michelle Malkin's flesh after masterful preparation by a chef on national television, does that make me sexist?

Seems more cannibalistic than sexist to me, which is actually far creepier. So uh, congrats?
posted by Tehanu at 2:14 PM on May 30, 2008


Please don't make canibalistist slurs. Respect minorities.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:18 PM on May 30, 2008


Is cannibalism one of those memes I missed?
posted by Tehanu at 3:17 PM on May 30, 2008


It's a type of comment completely lacking in information or utility.

Ok. Sure. When it's obvious. Like "I'd like to bang brad Pitt!"

But occasionally somebody in an unguarded drunken moment may confess, say, how "they wish they could get in Madeline Albrights pants."... and I think you may have learned something valuable about that person.

And I am not naming names.
posted by tkchrist at 5:45 PM on May 30, 2008




And intercourse with fruit is rape unless it's consenting.

Sexual intercourse, you mean. (Talking to kiwis still okay.)
posted by Sys Rq at 12:02 PM on June 1, 2008


You ever tried talking with a Kiwi? I have. It was damned near impossible to understand him through the accent and odd slang.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:38 PM on June 1, 2008


No talking, thanks, just sex
posted by homunculus at 2:21 PM on June 1, 2008


Karma and Sharon Stone
posted by homunculus at 10:19 PM on June 1, 2008


Well, the thread is still open, so what the hey.... I guess wearing a kaffiyeh look-alike explains why even The Donuts Hate you....
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 1:38 PM on June 10, 2008


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