Hitmen For Destiny
October 10, 2008 4:49 PM   Subscribe

Hitmen For Destiny: a weird, hilarious webcomic. Google suggests it's virtually undiscovered, but I think it's almost at Achewood level. The art seems crude at first glance, but with a little reading the distinctive brilliance becomes apparent. The plot appears to be something to do with monsters, alternate worlds, and destiny. Key features are odd humor and some insanely detailed taxonomy of imaginary creatures. There are many high points in the already long, convoluted story, but this installment may give as good an idea as any of the flavor.

And it makes me laugh.
posted by misterzoo (35 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
It's much better than Achewood.
posted by stavrogin at 5:17 PM on October 10, 2008

It's completely different from Achwood.

Actually, it's just completely different, full stop.

The art seems crude at first glance

It does, but you have to admire the total commitment to MS Paint.

And really, anything that isn't done in that crappy faux-manga style that I'm utterly sick of looking at gets a pass.

I want a nose horse.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:38 PM on October 10, 2008

It's as though a bloodthirsty Tove Jansson had fed her dream journal directly into Paint.
posted by Iridic at 5:50 PM on October 10, 2008

You know who else is better than Achewood?
posted by DU at 6:01 PM on October 10, 2008

posted by Eekacat at 6:04 PM on October 10, 2008

It's as though Gary Panter had switched to Adobe Illustrator.
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:11 PM on October 10, 2008

I was pretty sure that making a FPP for no purpose other than shitting on an existing FPP was not something we do around here, but okay.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:33 PM on October 10, 2008

What's this fpp shitting on?
posted by stavrogin at 6:51 PM on October 10, 2008


posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:05 PM on October 10, 2008

well, it can't be shitting on the 150 best online flash games, because that was posted after this one.

unless it's some sort of alternative world, time travelling kind of FPP-shitting.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:12 PM on October 10, 2008

How does this have any similarity at all with Achewood?

It has more in common with SUPER MEGA COMICS, or even some random keenspot furry comic.
posted by blasdelf at 7:15 PM on October 10, 2008

Thanks for this; I actually find my self increasingly enjoying it!
posted by oxford blue at 7:21 PM on October 10, 2008

My pokemaniac mansions - let me show you them!
posted by oulipian at 7:53 PM on October 10, 2008

"Almost at Achewood level" was just a way of signalling that this is one of the rare webcomics that are worth looking at. I agree, they're very different.

I was confused by Pope Guilty too until I did a search and found a recent post on Achewood. I guess he thinks I'm trying to steal its thunder? I love the internet, you can't not start an argument.
posted by misterzoo at 7:57 PM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Yes you can.
posted by ssmith at 7:59 PM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

This started slow, but I admit I was hooked after starting here and getting about five or six NEXTs in.
posted by rokusan at 8:08 PM on October 10, 2008

yeh, i also went back to the beginning. it's quite addictive. damn, and i've gotta leave now...
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:20 PM on October 10, 2008

Whoa. I've been reading this for a while now and I'd never thought I'd ever see it posted on MeFi. It's funny as heck, but the current arc is kinda slow and dragged out... I wish they would just get done with it already.
posted by yeoz at 8:28 PM on October 10, 2008

Ah curse you! My saturday is slowly disappearing because of this comic! :)
posted by oxford blue at 8:50 PM on October 10, 2008

I was SUPPOSED to be doing work, but 3hrs later, here I am.

(thanks, it's well written though the art leaves a bit to be desired)
posted by Grimp0teuthis at 9:17 PM on October 10, 2008

Okay, I'll bite. I've seen awful webcomics, I've read dozens of pages of them at Something Awful, and so I say this with authority. This comic is awful.
posted by graventy at 9:17 PM on October 10, 2008

Yes you can.

posted by louche mustachio at 9:25 PM on October 10, 2008

This comic is awesome and hilarious and I want more.
posted by billybunny at 10:22 PM on October 10, 2008

Ugghh. Hours later I am still making my way through them. This cave business is stretching on however, so hopefully i'll be able to break the habit soon.
posted by oxford blue at 10:35 PM on October 10, 2008

Wow the art is terrible. The writing isn't exactly fantastic either, but ... something is incredibly compelling about this.

I just read them all right now, so I can say that with some amount of authority.
posted by aubilenon at 11:16 PM on October 10, 2008

I have finished reading the whole thing, and while it is fairly compelling for an adolescent fantasy keenspot webcomicsnation comic, enough to bother reading the whole thing, it's still pretty shitty. The current story arc on the boat is the worst yet — when the author equips themselves with a shapeshifting idiot character and infinite parallel dimensions, they're giving themselves a way to fuck everything up as epically as possible.

Worst. Laurel & Hardy Routine. Ever.

At least he hasn't tried to actually depict a sex act yet.
posted by blasdelf at 11:51 PM on October 10, 2008

Oddly compelling.
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:30 AM on October 11, 2008

I want to stop I really do; it's getting worse and worse.

But. I just can't.

Is there a blog or somethin' that reviews webcomics? I feel I may want to move on to something after this.
posted by oxford blue at 7:16 AM on October 11, 2008

Bizarre. I loved the sequence where the guy kept trying to get Annette to fall in love with him, though. It reminded me of the Republican party this election cycle.

Part of me wants to see Palin inflate her throat sac and hiss "Maybe this will make you love me."
posted by infinitewindow at 9:42 AM on October 11, 2008

Saying it's better than Achewood isn't saying much. I regularly take shits that are better than Achewood. And I take them on FPPs.
posted by Eideteker at 10:47 AM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

I cannot stop reading this now.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:46 AM on October 11, 2008

He should not have given the heroine lower eyelashes which make her look haggard. Apart from that, I quite like the drawing, and the guy clearly has a talent for making up bizarre evolutionary ecosystems. I think some people actually get paid for that kind of thing.
posted by leibniz at 12:39 PM on October 11, 2008

Achewood sucks.

(I am not a sock puppet. It just does.)
posted by gentilknight at 7:41 PM on October 12, 2008

I got though all of the posts, and I have to say, the Sex, Lies and Fungus is really good farce. It goes on a bit too long (with no end in sight), but it is endlessly and amusingly recursive.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 9:17 PM on October 14, 2008

The current stupid plotline just hit a resolution of sorts, and, well, it was a surprise and a good one. I love this webcomic <3
posted by yeoz at 9:53 AM on October 16, 2008

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