Return from orbit is simply the reverse of takeoff.
June 4, 2009 12:12 PM Subscribe
The Haynes Workshop Manuals are a series of practical instructional repair manuals aimed at both the DIY enthusiast or shade-tree mechanic and the professional garage repairman. In that spirit, they offer the following guides to repair and service the following: The Spitfire Fighter (no, not that one), The Lancaster Bomber and the Apollo modules.
I know, I know. I've been meaning to get around to the Apollo module. I bought it as a 'project', and did some of the body work and got rid of some of the rust. Then I lost interest and it's been sitting in the garage for the last six months. Thanks for the link.
posted by Elmore at 12:18 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Elmore at 12:18 PM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]
I've had the Haynes manual for every car I've owned, up until now. Whereas I was fairly comfortable doing shit to my '86 Tercel, I wouldn't touch my 2007 GTI at all. It's beyond me.
That's awesome that you can get one for a Spitfire. I don't think there would be any greater visceral thrill than to own, fly and maintain your own Spitfire.
posted by jimmythefish at 12:22 PM on June 4, 2009
That's awesome that you can get one for a Spitfire. I don't think there would be any greater visceral thrill than to own, fly and maintain your own Spitfire.
posted by jimmythefish at 12:22 PM on June 4, 2009
Haynes: "May require some force to remove"part
Translation: Get some TNT
Haynes: "Assembly is the reverse of disassembly."
Translation: Give up. Buy a new one.
Haynes: "The assembly will be greasy."
Translation: The yearly entire petroleum output of Equatorial Guinea is stored in this part.
posted by 1adam12 at 12:35 PM on June 4, 2009 [13 favorites]
Translation: Get some TNT
Haynes: "Assembly is the reverse of disassembly."
Translation: Give up. Buy a new one.
Haynes: "The assembly will be greasy."
Translation: The yearly entire petroleum output of Equatorial Guinea is stored in this part.
posted by 1adam12 at 12:35 PM on June 4, 2009 [13 favorites]
They got me through ownership of my old '72 Honda CB750. It puked up a cam chain and seized but that was my fault, not theirs.
posted by tommasz at 12:38 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by tommasz at 12:38 PM on June 4, 2009
The index for this Tardis manual seems all mixed up.
posted by freebird at 12:40 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by freebird at 12:40 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
When these are published there must be a man at the end of the conveyor belt who smears them in grease before they are shipped. Never seen a clean copy in my life.
posted by fire&wings at 12:41 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by fire&wings at 12:41 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
These are cool! Haynes manuals are great. Much better than those vapid pretenders, Chiltons.
Honestly, buying that Apollo 11 manual is worth it just to have on the shelf buried in between my other manuals for my cars. Just a nice mind-fuck to pull on someone idly checking out the workbench. Doubly so if it's appropriately dog-eared and stained, for effect. The Lancaster manual would be cool, too.
Like having a copy of Gray's Anatomy in with the cookbooks.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:43 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
Honestly, buying that Apollo 11 manual is worth it just to have on the shelf buried in between my other manuals for my cars. Just a nice mind-fuck to pull on someone idly checking out the workbench. Doubly so if it's appropriately dog-eared and stained, for effect. The Lancaster manual would be cool, too.
Like having a copy of Gray's Anatomy in with the cookbooks.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:43 PM on June 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
Supermarine 356 Spitfire F21 in Glasgow Museum.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:52 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:52 PM on June 4, 2009
Honestly, buying that Apollo 11 manual is worth it just to have on the shelf buried in between my other manuals
this.
posted by namewithoutwords at 12:53 PM on June 4, 2009
this.
posted by namewithoutwords at 12:53 PM on June 4, 2009
The only vehicle of mine that I don't have a Haynes manual is my truck. When I bought that new, I also purchased the complete repair manuals (4 volumes) from GM.
That said, these are *awesome*.
posted by notsnot at 12:56 PM on June 4, 2009
That said, these are *awesome*.
posted by notsnot at 12:56 PM on June 4, 2009
Haynes: "The assembly will be greasy."
Translation: The yearly entire petroleum output of Equatorial Guinea is stored in this part.
From your lips to God's ears.
posted by jquinby at 1:02 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
Translation: The yearly entire petroleum output of Equatorial Guinea is stored in this part.
From your lips to God's ears.
posted by jquinby at 1:02 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
The first thing I buy for any car I own is one of these. This comes from my parents owning British cars, and learning to change oil and brake fluid before I could drive.
posted by strixus at 1:04 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by strixus at 1:04 PM on June 4, 2009
So Haynes and Chilton manuals are produced by the same people now?
It seems strangely arbitrary which cars get the Haynes treatment and which have only Chiltons. (Sadly, my car apparently has neither. Boo.)
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:10 PM on June 4, 2009
It seems strangely arbitrary which cars get the Haynes treatment and which have only Chiltons. (Sadly, my car apparently has neither. Boo.)
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:10 PM on June 4, 2009
Haynes manuals would be twice as good if they weren't flimsy newsprint. I really don't need the pages tearing just because I touched one with a greasy paw the wrong way. Grumble.
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:10 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:10 PM on June 4, 2009
The problem is that you can only get Apollo 11 parts from the dealer.
In Florida.
posted by Jon-o at 1:14 PM on June 4, 2009
In Florida.
posted by Jon-o at 1:14 PM on June 4, 2009
Actually, I'm pretty sure there's a pick-n-pull lot in Huntsville, AL where you can get 'em half off, Jon-O.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:17 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:17 PM on June 4, 2009
I'll see your Haynes Lunar Module reference and ante up Doring Kindersley's Batmobile Owner's Manual (and not any of these, either).
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:25 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:25 PM on June 4, 2009
Does anyone know if these cool manuals are available in the US? The links are all to the UK site and the US site is steadfastly refusing to come up for me.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:33 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by Thorzdad at 1:33 PM on June 4, 2009
I know, I know. I've been meaning to get around to the Apollo module. I bought it as a 'project', and did some of the body work and got rid of some of the rust. Then I lost interest and it's been sitting in the garage for the last six months. Thanks for the link.
My descent stage is stuck on the damned moon. Triple-A won't pay for towing it back to the dealer, let alone my garage.
posted by codswallop at 1:35 PM on June 4, 2009
My descent stage is stuck on the damned moon. Triple-A won't pay for towing it back to the dealer, let alone my garage.
posted by codswallop at 1:35 PM on June 4, 2009
There was a nice 2 seater Spitfire just sold at auction for $2.5 million.
I was outbid.
posted by Floydd at 1:42 PM on June 4, 2009
I was outbid.
posted by Floydd at 1:42 PM on June 4, 2009
I have one of these for my car. Strangely, it doesn't say "An insight into owning, restoring, servicing, and driving Sweden's legendary brick on wheels".
Also, unlike the Lancaster Bomber, Spitfire, and Apollo Module books, it's based on a complete teardown and rebuild.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:43 PM on June 4, 2009
Also, unlike the Lancaster Bomber, Spitfire, and Apollo Module books, it's based on a complete teardown and rebuild.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:43 PM on June 4, 2009
I hate to say it but the internet (and a workstation in my garage) have pretty much relegated my haynes and chilton manuals to a box. There is an enthusiast forum for any vehicle available, and the personal knowledge (with color pictures!) is readily available.
But that Apollo manual is pretty cool.
posted by Big_B at 1:50 PM on June 4, 2009
But that Apollo manual is pretty cool.
posted by Big_B at 1:50 PM on June 4, 2009
Amazon sells 'em (Thorzdad). I rebuilt a BSA Thunderbolt with one. For years I thought I couldn't read because the bike kept breaking down. Literally a decade before I realized the late 60 - early 70 BSAa were crap.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:52 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by From Bklyn at 1:52 PM on June 4, 2009
I remember my dad buying one to learn how to maintain his Morris Traveller, and then I bought one when I got my first car -- a Volksvagen Beetle.
It encouraged me to spend a lot of time 'tuning' the engine, and resulted in my spending a lot of time sitting by the kerb, stationary, scratching my head.
Dads are always better at that practical stuff, IMO.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:25 PM on June 4, 2009
It encouraged me to spend a lot of time 'tuning' the engine, and resulted in my spending a lot of time sitting by the kerb, stationary, scratching my head.
Dads are always better at that practical stuff, IMO.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:25 PM on June 4, 2009
tommasz : They got me through ownership of my old '72 Honda CB750.
I've been looking to get another one of these. I had one about 20 years ago as my first motor vehicle, it was so much fun to ride and easy to fix. Well, that and I think it would look cool in the parking-lot next to all my coworkers sport bikes.
I think I still have my Haynes manual for it too.
Somewhere... maybe in those boxes in the garage? Shit.
posted by quin at 3:18 PM on June 4, 2009
I've been looking to get another one of these. I had one about 20 years ago as my first motor vehicle, it was so much fun to ride and easy to fix. Well, that and I think it would look cool in the parking-lot next to all my coworkers sport bikes.
I think I still have my Haynes manual for it too.
Somewhere... maybe in those boxes in the garage? Shit.
posted by quin at 3:18 PM on June 4, 2009
if you don't know shit about cars, haynes manuals are helpful. real mechanics use factory service manuals which make haynes and chilton look like comic books.
posted by kitchenrat at 4:35 PM on June 4, 2009
posted by kitchenrat at 4:35 PM on June 4, 2009
Haynes manuals = ok for working on wonky old british cars. Useless for much of anything else other than emergency roadside repair. I promptly gave up on one when I was 16 because when I finally got to the point where it was going to lead me to the solution to the problem, I got "see your dealer for service."
20 years later, I've got factory service manuals for every vehicle in the fleet. No substitute.
Haynes: Locate ...
Translation: This photo of a hex nut is the only clue we're giving you.
Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model. The actual location of the unit is never given.
For a modern car chock full of electronics, all that's in the Haynes Manual (aka "The Haynes Bumper Book of Jokes") is:
Routine Service: Take it to a main dealer and hand over a large amount of cash.
HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
posted by rhythim at 5:17 PM on June 4, 2009
20 years later, I've got factory service manuals for every vehicle in the fleet. No substitute.
Haynes: Locate ...
Translation: This photo of a hex nut is the only clue we're giving you.
Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model. The actual location of the unit is never given.
For a modern car chock full of electronics, all that's in the Haynes Manual (aka "The Haynes Bumper Book of Jokes") is:
Routine Service: Take it to a main dealer and hand over a large amount of cash.
HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
posted by rhythim at 5:17 PM on June 4, 2009
Back in 2003, the Vespa Club of America, used a picture of a well loved and doodled on (like your old peechee folder) Vespa P-series manual as the cover of their magazine.
It's awesome because at first glance it looks like just a thin version of the manual lots of vintage scooterists have in their garages/living rooms. It's worn, dirty, the cover is half ripped, and the vespa has some added Sharpie flair.
(Also awesome that Haynes said "sure, no problem" when asked if the club could use their image.)
posted by vespabelle at 6:35 PM on June 4, 2009
It's awesome because at first glance it looks like just a thin version of the manual lots of vintage scooterists have in their garages/living rooms. It's worn, dirty, the cover is half ripped, and the vespa has some added Sharpie flair.
(Also awesome that Haynes said "sure, no problem" when asked if the club could use their image.)
posted by vespabelle at 6:35 PM on June 4, 2009
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