Political Insiders Are the New Political Outsiders
February 18, 2010 9:36 AM   Subscribe

Florida's Republican US Senate hopeful and self-identified "Conservative Outsider" Mark Rubio delivered a populist speech in defense of American exceptionalism and full of hope and change at today's CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) event, while also taking the occasion to share a good chuckle over the subject of waterboarding terrorists with fellow conference attendees. Political rival, current Florida Governor Charlie Crist, offers a response in the form of a slightly different speech Rubio might have given.

Excerpts from Rubio's speech can be found here.
posted by saulgoodman (24 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Use of Harsh Interrogation Techniques on Terrorism Suspects Justified/Not Justified, by Party Affiliation

Democrats: 34% Justified, 54% Not Justified
Independents: 55% Justified, 34% Not Justified
Republicans: 80% Justified, 15% Not Justified

posted by Joe Beese at 9:48 AM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

Use of Harsh Interrogation Techniques on Terrorism Suspects Justified/Not Justified, by Party Affiliation

Well, to be fair, I'm pretty sure that the self-evident, universal right of the US government to torture enemies of the state is one of those bedrock foundational principles of our nation that conservatives are so seriously committed to restoring.

I mean, I think that's even somewhere in The Constitution, isn't it? In any case, it's definitely in the Bible.
posted by saulgoodman at 10:02 AM on February 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


So close yet so far away.
posted by The Whelk at 10:04 AM on February 18, 2010

More of the media needs to grow some balls and start calling torture what it is.
posted by ghharr at 10:08 AM on February 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

Hmmm, after reading through Crist's spoof I feel more favorably toward this Rubio character. Of course, it's just possible I'm not the audience that Crist was after.
posted by nangua at 10:10 AM on February 18, 2010

For whatever reason, the Tea Partiers see Crist as a fake Republican and are backing Rubio heavily.
posted by octothorpe at 10:16 AM on February 18, 2010

I feel more favorably toward this Rubio character.

Yeah, yeah--me too! Especially this part:
More than anything else, my political rise provided me with the ability to influence public policy and see firsthand why Americans are tired of insider deal making[24] and self-interest influence[25]. We must put an end to this type of influence in today’s politics. There is no one who understands this more than I – a lobbyist while serving Floridians in the House[26].

I am not naïve when it comes to dealing with this kind of corruption in the political system. I have learned these lessons from firsthand experience. You see, when I was Speaker of the House, I tried to influence the political process by inserting language into three pieces of legislation to help a campaign contributor and close political ally be able to secure business with the Florida Turnpike[27]. I’m sure many in this room during a recent trip to Florida became familiar with the Florida Turnpike. I slipped this language in to the different bills with the hope it would not cause a concern. However, my actions hindered my chance of helping my donor and unfortunately all the bills were vetoed by Gov. Crist[28] (three separate pieces of legislation, it can’t get better than that- sorry buddy I tried!).
posted by saulgoodman at 10:18 AM on February 18, 2010

Are you out there, Yesmen? Here is an idea for you.

Hold a debate in Flordia under the guise of some politically conservative cover group.

The debate is: Two seats around a round table in a small room. When the participants are seated, the moderator will announce the debate format. The moderator will place a bowie knife in the middle of the table and leave the room, locking the door after exiting.
posted by boo_radley at 10:18 AM on February 18, 2010

Florida's Republican US Senate hopeful and self-identified "Conservative Outsider" Mark Rubio

posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:20 AM on February 18, 2010

"From tea parties to the election in Massachusetts we are witnessing the single greatest pushback in American history"

Yeah, well, coming from a guy who looks all of 20 years old, I guess the lack of perspective is not at all surprising.
posted by splice at 10:25 AM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

self-identified "Conservative Outsider" Mark Rubio

Hahahaha, holy crap.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:26 AM on February 18, 2010

Good morning. Thank you for that warm welcome and the opportunity to speak to you about why I’m running for the U.S. Senate. [WAIT FOR APPLAUSE]

Keep on waiting Skippy.

Replace the word "terrorist" with "communist" and both speeches could have been delivered in the early 1960s by Barry Goldwater to the John Birch Society - the same species of wacko-conservatives that today call themselves Tea Party conservatives.

The great achievement of William F. Buckley - father of the modern conservative movement - was to excommunicate the JBS from the GOP. He considered them an embarrassment and conspired against them.

How can the John Birch Society be an effective political instrument while it is led by a man whose views on current affairs are, at so many critical points . . . so far removed from common sense? That dilemma weighs on conservatives across America. . . . The underlying problem is whether conservatives can continue to acquiesce quietly in a rendition of the causes of the decline of the Republic and the entire Western world which is false, and, besides that, crucially different in practical emphasis from their own.

It's 1964 all over again, but all of those idiots listening to Rubio and Crist pining for the fjords of Ronald Reagan don't seem to understand that Reagan's GOP would throw them under the bus just as Barry Goldwater did.

Until some Republican figures this out and renounces this movement, the Democrats are pretty safe.
posted by three blind mice at 10:38 AM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

As much as the tea partiers terrify me, I love watching the Republican party tear itself apart by pitting the wingnuts against the corporate shills.
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:41 AM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

This Crist, wow, that is some Colbert-level snark in his version of Rubio's remarks. Doesn't he know his base is irony-blind?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:47 AM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Last night I dedicated this song (SLYT) from Propagandhi to the Tea Baggers on my Facebook feed.
posted by symbioid at 11:15 AM on February 18, 2010

I support more sarcasm in American politics.
posted by Panjandrum at 11:20 AM on February 18, 2010


posted by backseatpilot at 11:41 AM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Judging by a couple comments up above, Crist should have put a giant HAMBURGER at the bottom of his 'speech'. Maybe it's me misunderstanding commenters here, but everyone is clear that the Crist speech is written as if he were RUBIO, right?
posted by spicynuts at 11:45 AM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


So close yet so far away.

Well, the Tea Party folks have formed a PAC, so I guess that would make it the TPAC?

I for one hope that they create some kind of shaken drink--maybe we can call it the "TPAC Shaker"?

posted by armage at 5:37 PM on February 18, 2010

Yeah, torture. It's such a funny topic, Republicans. Ha. Ha. Ha.
posted by darren at 8:19 AM on February 19, 2010

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