He could be in your room, right now, watching you read this
September 14, 2010 1:54 PM   Subscribe

SPA! magazine [site is in Japanese] is claiming that Steve Jobs was caught at Kansai International Airport with ninja throwing stars in his luggage. The magazine further claims that Jobs told officials he would never visit Japan again. There's no other verification--the airport says that something like that happened, but won't identify the passenger--but Bloomberg.com and the Wall Street Journal are taking it seriously enough to report it. Apple has, of course, issued a denial.
posted by Halloween Jack (30 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: This is kind of silly it-probably-didn't-happen stuff. I'd like to say that major media properties failing to vet stories is something worth a post, but these days... -- cortex



 
I see he's given up on trying to kill adobe with license changes, and decided to handle things personally.
posted by delmoi at 1:55 PM on September 14, 2010 [8 favorites]


Ut! Credit where credit's due: via.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:56 PM on September 14, 2010


Is it Daring Fireball Day on MeFi today? If so, it would only be fair to post the follow-up that one of the unwritten rules of Apple journalism is not to reveal that Steve Jobs is a ninja. Assuming this FPP doesn't get deservedly consigned to the pit of pointlessness...
posted by i_cola at 1:59 PM on September 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


What amazing stupidity; I can't believe how epically Bloomberg and the WSJ have been trolled here.

I mean, everyone knows that Jobs is a pirate, not a ninja.
posted by quin at 2:02 PM on September 14, 2010


What, was he trying to bump off Ellison? I thought they were friends.
posted by boo_radley at 2:03 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm not an Apple fan and think Steve Jobs is pretty much Jim Jones in a turtleneck. But I can't imagine why anyone would think this is news.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:03 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Perhaps Steve Jobs has an identical twin who is an evil ninja and is out to steal his identity?
posted by fearthehat at 2:03 PM on September 14, 2010


paging Blazecock...
posted by TrialByMedia at 2:04 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Okay, this Photoshop job is hilarious.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:05 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


To be fair, Steve Jobs wondered if he could take these on board and the official said "Shuriken".
posted by mazola at 2:07 PM on September 14, 2010 [18 favorites]


I wouldn't discount SPA! magazine, they broke the story on Warren Buffett's giant talking lizard who lives underground and tells him which stocks to buy
posted by theodolite at 2:08 PM on September 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


This would be a lot more interesting if it involved a few pounds of cocaine and some underaged boys, but Jobs isn't a republican.
posted by doctor_negative at 2:10 PM on September 14, 2010


He does have a point -- what's the problem with taking weapons onto YOUR OWN PRIVATE PLANE?
posted by chavenet at 2:14 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


It was just prototypes of the new iKill.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 2:14 PM on September 14, 2010


Should've just bought the airport. Or Japan.
posted by Ryvar at 2:17 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Jobs and Woz: Phone Phreaks
posted by Artw at 2:18 PM on September 14, 2010


Does anybody use ninja throwing stars? I mean, my go to defense thing is pepper spray. So is it for some people these star doohickeys?
posted by angrycat at 2:21 PM on September 14, 2010


1,000 ways to die. In your pocket.
posted by littlerobothead at 2:25 PM on September 14, 2010


He could have nunchucks too!
posted by Artw at 2:25 PM on September 14, 2010


The purpose of the CEO is to flip out and kill people.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 2:27 PM on September 14, 2010 [8 favorites]


My teenage brother wanted throwing stars, my dad told him he should try juggling jars of nitric acid first.
posted by dunkadunc at 2:27 PM on September 14, 2010 [3 favorites]


I can't even find this article on the Spa! site, and Japanese web design is so predictably crappy that I can't be bothered to look.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:28 PM on September 14, 2010


So is it for some people these star doohickeys?

They were hugely popular in the mid-'80s ninja craze here in the US. But as an actual weapon, they are more or less a joke. In theory, they could be quite dangerous, but in practice, they are a sharp unwieldy thing that doesn't carry well, snags on clothes when you pull it out, and requires skill to use.

And if you miss, you've just provided your opponent with both a weapon and a reason to use it.
posted by quin at 2:30 PM on September 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


The points could be coated with deadly tofu poison!
posted by Artw at 2:35 PM on September 14, 2010


At last, the all-black Jobsian uniform is explained.
posted by Decimask at 2:35 PM on September 14, 2010


I actually owned a belt buckle with detachable ninja stars on it, more than half a lifetime ago. For some reason, I never found a suitable occasion to wear it in public.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:36 PM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's prob not true but if its true they were probably for a kid or something, or a ninja.

And I bet he will visit Japan again.
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:37 PM on September 14, 2010


He also owns a 3 Wolf Moon T-Shirt.
posted by Artw at 2:45 PM on September 14, 2010


Well, that does it! I've seen and heard enough.

I'm buying an iPod.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 2:45 PM on September 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


In related news, Timmy-san from the eleventh-grade Tokyo trip was caught at customs with some "badass sais" and a couple of pretty fucked up violent porn comics.

We'll be covering this story as more information comes in.
posted by gc at 2:47 PM on September 14, 2010


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