October 31, 2001
1:18 PM   Subscribe

Since we're talking candy, as a kid I used to be addicted to U-No Bars. This dates me but I unhaled those puppies. And it's amazing how many other "staple" candy bars they made.
posted by Danf (9 comments total)
I'm only 34, but I can still remember when O Henry and Baby Ruth bars were about twice the size they are now (and cost half as much). Bit-o-Honey bars were popular when I was in grammar school, but they were hell on fillings!

And who can forget the lovely Zero candy bar -- it was almost a Zen experience to eat one. Be not of the candy, my son, be with the candy.
posted by mrmanley at 1:26 PM on October 31, 2001

I tried the bars, but I didn't unhale.
posted by crunchburger at 1:37 PM on October 31, 2001

Ohh, I love Zero bars! You don't see those around too much anymore. I just had one a few weeks ago. Awesome! What about the Symphony Toffee bar? High quality chocolate covering up just the right amount of buttery toffee. Yummmm... I was addicted to those in College. Does anyone remember the What-cha-ma-call-it? Apparently they are still around since Candy Direct sells them, but I have not seen one in years... Good stuff. I cannot wait to take my daughter out trick-or-treating tonight.

"Oh, honey, you shouldn't eat that, let Daddy have it..."
posted by internal at 1:46 PM on October 31, 2001

Zagnut. The best non-chocolate candy bar out there.

Close second: Chick-O-Sticks. Same basic concept.

Now, chocolate-wise, All Hail The Mighty Snickers. No other comes close. My children, I envision a day, a day when we rise up and say "Fuck you, Mr. Fun Size Bar! Give me the Snickers Brick (tm), the 1-lb block of Snickery goodness, in a resealable pouch, possibly pre-scored for my consumption convenience."

Naturally, these will only be available at WalMart.

Pardon me whilst I fold this soapbox up.
posted by ebarker at 2:17 PM on October 31, 2001

Remember Marathon bars? Those were my childhood favorite - kind of pretzel-braided caramel, covered with chocolate. I sure miss 'em...
posted by daveleck at 2:36 PM on October 31, 2001

Gone, but not forgotten: Seven Up, a bar composed of seven small, candy-box-style chocolates welded together. Its original incarnation featured four types of caramel, a Brazil nut, coconut, and jelly; by the time it was phased out in 1979, dark chocolate covered segments of mint, nougat, butterscotch, fudge, coconut, buttercream, and caramel.
posted by Carol Anne at 2:44 PM on October 31, 2001

I love U-No bars. They sell them at Fry's and I always grab some on the way to the checkout.

posted by y6y6y6 at 2:51 PM on October 31, 2001

This dates me but I unhaled those puppies.

Unhaled? Folks, I think we have a new word for the act of vomiting here. Just when i thought the possibilities were exhausted, too! It may not be epochal on the order of "thunder-chunder pavement pizza" but it's definitely up there.
posted by phalkin at 3:10 PM on October 31, 2001

I envision a day, a day when we rise up and say "Fuck you, Mr. Fun Size Bar!

Are you kidding? The fun derived from consuming a candy bar is inversely proportional to its size. This is, obviously, why the so-called ?fun size? candy bars are so much fun for being 1/8 as large as their standard counterparts.

I envision the ?Holy shit, look how much fucking fun I'm having here!?-sized Snickers, which contains a mere twelve molecules of pure candy deliciousness.
posted by Danelope at 3:32 PM on October 31, 2001

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