The less said about this, the better.

April 4, 2001 7:40 AM

The less said about this, the better.
posted by anapestic (29 comments total)

Or, yet another reason to think twice about Starbucks.
posted by anapestic at 7:43 AM on April 4, 2001

Short article. In the brief time I looked at the little report, I felt shortchanged. Then I got that sinking feeling, but I'm down. I'm down.
posted by hijinx at 7:44 AM on April 4, 2001

A very big guy I once knew, naked in sshowers at college dorm, was noted for very smaqll penis. He used to say: put your finger in your ear. Now put a piece of straw in your ear. Which feels better?
Someone finally told him that when getting laid that neither was the tool of choice.
posted by Postroad at 7:51 AM on April 4, 2001

"It ain't the meat, it's the motion"
posted by radio_mookie at 8:02 AM on April 4, 2001

Chill your beans - it's only talking about American penises.
posted by Mocata at 8:06 AM on April 4, 2001

well, if the trend continues the penis will vanish in 600 years.
posted by quarsan at 8:18 AM on April 4, 2001

In unrelated news, auto manufacturers noted a further increase in demand for oversized Sport Utility Vehicles.
posted by harmful at 8:20 AM on April 4, 2001

*chuckle*
posted by SpecialK at 8:27 AM on April 4, 2001

this one was good for a brief -- but very staisfying -- chuckle this morning ... as radio-mookie said, "it ain't the meat; it's the motion...
posted by poorhouse at 8:46 AM on April 4, 2001

"...in the mid-1940s, researchers simply gave men stamped postcards..."

a fresh twist on going postal
heh
posted by auntbunny at 8:53 AM on April 4, 2001

Hmm, they could have changed something on this picture. For better effect, listen to this mp3

posted by samsara at 9:01 AM on April 4, 2001

Well, I measure up pretty well, I suppose. But no way does mine have the circumference of that coffee cup......
posted by bradth27 at 9:06 AM on April 4, 2001

sitting here reading that article...coffee cup nearby...candybar nearby...pencil nearby...i'm going to be doing mental comparisions all day now.

[only mental.]
posted by th3ph17 at 9:18 AM on April 4, 2001

What? No Charleston Chews on display?
posted by Chairman_MaoXian at 9:18 AM on April 4, 2001

"Baby, I'm hung like a Peter Paul Mounds, with the wrapper extended. Baby? Where are you going?"
posted by Skot at 9:31 AM on April 4, 2001

dammit skot, you made me spit mocha on my keyboard.
posted by th3ph17 at 9:34 AM on April 4, 2001

Skot has a track record of doing that to me too.
posted by pnevares at 10:59 AM on April 4, 2001

That pic also lends new cred to the "don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger" ads.
posted by briank at 12:09 PM on April 4, 2001

TMI, bradth27, TMI.
posted by jpoulos at 12:13 PM on April 4, 2001

Oops, that mp3 didn't have an ID3 tag...it's a goatloaf creation (one of members is a co-worker). The punch line, for those with 56k connections, is:

What's six inches long and has two nuts?
An Almond Joy.
posted by samsara at 1:00 PM on April 4, 2001

What's long hard and full of se(a)men?
A submarine.
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:01 PM on April 4, 2001

woops, sorry there, jpoulos. but you have to agree, my post was a lot tamer than some of the others.....take for instance, the one above this one......
posted by bradth27 at 1:06 PM on April 4, 2001

Mmmmm.... chocolate and coffee..... If that's not a beneficial image association for us males, I don't know what is...
posted by fooljay at 3:24 PM on April 4, 2001

Things that keep me awake at night, part 27:

Doesn't an Almond Joy have four nuts?
posted by anapestic at 6:51 PM on April 4, 2001

It is technically true that an Almond Joy contain four nuts. But wht you fail to consider is that while Peter Paul Almond Joy's got nuts, Mounds don't. So the mean number of nuts per Almond Joy or Mounds (as they are essentially the same candy except for the nuts) is a quite ordinary two.
posted by kindall at 11:26 PM on April 4, 2001

But that also extends the length factor by three inches....are we sure we would want to do that?
posted by samsara at 5:44 AM on April 5, 2001

No wait, we're talking about mean. That's an extra six inches for a total of twelve...(My math got messed up because I ate one of them)
posted by samsara at 5:46 AM on April 5, 2001

kindall:

(as they are essentially the same candy except for the nuts)

You, sir, are a Philistine.

Almond Joy got pure milk chocolate, crunchy nuts, and coconut, too.

Mounds got rich dark chocolate and chewy coconut, oooooh.
posted by anapestic at 7:20 AM on April 5, 2001

When you're at the price point of a mass-produced candy bar, chocolate is chocolate...
posted by kindall at 11:38 AM on April 5, 2001