April 30, 2001
5:29 AM   Subscribe

Oh sure, once again, this "theory" proves nothing. Nothing more than another failed attempt to dismiss God's work. When are these morons, with such an imagination, ever going to admit it, that their theory is nothing more than that. I could ramble on and on like these suppose "scientists" about nothing, and make all these supposed "patterns", milarky, lies, and made up falsehoods on how the universe was just made from some wild explosion. Oh sure, that is how it was made.....just some big bang, then the next thing you know, man walked out of the swamp, got in his Mercedes, and drove away....haha Just keep on believing such crap about this big bang "theory". But just like before, this will fail again and prove that God did create the world, and he has been, is, and always will be the creator, not the "big banger". And that is a FACT, not a "theory".....
posted by tiaka (62 comments total)
Big rock of crack for breakfast again, tiaka?
posted by darukaru at 5:59 AM on April 30, 2001

Good article.. but what are you SAYING man
posted by stbalbach at 6:01 AM on April 30, 2001

Alright Clone Tiaka, put back the Original Tiaka and we'll forget about all this, OK?
posted by Markb at 6:08 AM on April 30, 2001

Wow, nice theory there, tiaka.
posted by lagado at 6:11 AM on April 30, 2001

Uh. Oh. Creationists on the loose. Yawn. Sorry, but my local Jehova's Witness is at least entertaining.
posted by palnatoke at 6:11 AM on April 30, 2001

Let me get this straight, tiaka, you don't buy that there was a mysterious, unbelievable 'big bang,' but you DO believe that some GOD went 'poof' and made it all happen just like that?! Sorry, hon.
posted by tenbroeck at 6:18 AM on April 30, 2001

Hey man, you have a better explanation?
posted by timbooker at 6:38 AM on April 30, 2001

...he has been, is, and always will be the creator, not the "big banger". And that is a FACT, not a "theory".....

tiaka, please research the way scientists define and use the word "theory." A scientific "theory" is NOT the opposite of a "fact."

I'm arguing with your rhetoric, not your belief system. I've lived long enough to learn to avoid such arguments.
posted by grumblebee at 6:44 AM on April 30, 2001

Isn't it just as hard to believe in a god that exists without a cause as it is to believe in a universe that exists without a cause? Invoking a God to explain it all just pushes it back one more step. What created the universe? "God". Well, then what created God? ... "Well, he just exists! He always had and always will!" Why not say the same thing about the universe and stop there?
posted by fieldswn at 6:48 AM on April 30, 2001

Any question that you can ask about the existence of the Universe, you can also ask about God. If you ask, "How can the Universe just exist?" I can ask, "How can God just exist?" If you can ask, "How did the Universe begin?" I can ask, "How did God begin?" The problem is that God adds an additional level of questions. If you can't accept that the Universe just is or suddenly came into existence, how can you accept the same of God?
posted by quirked at 6:49 AM on April 30, 2001

fieldswn beat me to it.
posted by quirked at 6:50 AM on April 30, 2001

I was going to write up a small post, to be inside the thread, talking on how no matter what evidence shows up, creationists are unaltered. The big bang noise, or lack there of was their best chance at trying to discredit everything, yet still, there was this post.

I thought it'd be interesting to see the reply to something of that sort on mefi.

Anyway, as I hit preview, I see all these angry replies that took the whole thing seriously. *gulp*

And I created the universe, singlehandidly, and you are all inside my head. *That* is a fact.
posted by tiaka at 6:53 AM on April 30, 2001

posted by mecran01 at 6:55 AM on April 30, 2001

TROLL! I invoke the Hitler Clause to immediately bring this thread to an end before anyone else wastes their time on it.
posted by krebby at 6:55 AM on April 30, 2001

What the bejesus IS it with the trolling and baiting the last few days? By regulars, no less. What has become of our beloved Metafilter?

Tiaka. Science is science. Faith is faith. And ne'er the twain shall meet. They can happily contradict each other -- or coexist as well. And for a lot of people, the latter seems to work quite well.

Besides, everyone knows the earth rests on top of a turtle, which rests on top of a turtle, which ...
posted by dhartung at 6:57 AM on April 30, 2001

Metafilter: Not content in insulting everyone's political opinions, we move onto insulting their religious beliefs as well. Bravo, folks.
posted by Danelope at 6:59 AM on April 30, 2001

Quotation marks would have been nice. ;)
posted by darukaru at 7:01 AM on April 30, 2001

I once believed in the tooth fairy--I was told it was real; I once believed in Santa Claus--he really came and left goodies for me.
How many dinosaurs got on Noah's arc, that is, two of every type?
posted by Postroad at 7:01 AM on April 30, 2001

Trolls, trolls, everywhere, trolls! AAAaaaaaah!
posted by Outlawyr at 7:06 AM on April 30, 2001

Verily I say unto you, thou shalt not troll.
posted by God at 7:12 AM on April 30, 2001

I hope there actually IS a God, and I shall be proven wrong....because that guy has a lot of explaining to do. Personally, I think we all need to admit that we are the bastard half breeds of aliens who came down to our planet and mated with the monkeys, which evolved from swamp gas.
posted by bradth27 at 7:16 AM on April 30, 2001

posted by clavdivs at 7:17 AM on April 30, 2001

Tiaka: All my life I have been asking myself, "Where do we all come from?"

Now, thanks to you, I know.

Previously I, rather foolishly, tended to agree with what I had hitherto thought to be the unchallengeable belief system of the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI.

I couldn't view the article to which you referred, as the purveyors of said site will not let me read their knowledge receptacle without a "username" and "password", neither of which are available to me.

Rest assured though, I would not have wasted my time reading this tripe as I'm sure their argument could in no way shape or form be as well constructed and convincing as your own.
posted by davehat at 7:39 AM on April 30, 2001

posted by faisal at 7:49 AM on April 30, 2001

Tiaka, I find it amusing that you think that the lack of one theory, automatically PROVES the other.. :)

"But just like before, this will fail again and prove that God did create the world"...

umm.. right.. :)
posted by Dn at 7:52 AM on April 30, 2001

(lol.. NOTE TO SELF:.. finish reading ALL comments before posting.. :)
posted by Dn at 7:53 AM on April 30, 2001

Interesting theory. Are you by any chance a fan of Dan Bern?
posted by Dirjy at 8:34 AM on April 30, 2001

"Pregnant man gives birth. That's a FACT."
posted by carobe at 8:59 AM on April 30, 2001

Since when did the God theory become the default idea? Whenever another generally accepted scientific theory is debunked I default to the idea that the Universe was created when a big guy named Pauly dropped some cheetos into his couch while watching CHiPs.

"In the beginning, the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
posted by deathonion at 9:15 AM on April 30, 2001

Us agnostics will sit back and let "whoever" sort out the mess...
posted by owillis at 9:27 AM on April 30, 2001

There one was a man that thought
That others thought not as they ought
He mocked all they said
But within the thread
The mocker was lumped with the mocked.
posted by iceberg273 at 9:30 AM on April 30, 2001

Did someone steal someone's web page design again?
posted by jbeaumont at 9:32 AM on April 30, 2001

Tiaka, you are a bit misguided.

You see, as an obvious Christian, you must accept that all things are possible in God. God is all-knowing (Omniscient) and all-powerful (Omnipotent). We're clear on that, right? Good.

Now, with an all-knowing and all-powerful entity choosing to create a universe, and with all things being possible in God...God could have easily structured the big bang. God could have breathed the soul of man, or consciousness, into an ape and forced evolution along a bit. Again, all this is possible as all things are possible in God.

To denounce the validity of scientific research, based on your perception of what God "did" in creating the world, you are forgetting your humility and committing the sin of pride. Your pride is that you claim you know The Mind of God. You are claiming that you know how God did it in those seven days (by the way, a celestial day is something like ten thousand of our years, if memory serves), and how he created man, and all those other people Adam and Eve met outside the Garden when they were cast out of paradise.

Just stop and think a moment or two about all the wonderful and miraculous things that are possible in God and you will realize that yes, a supreme being could easily light a cosmic cherry bomb called the big bang and set all these wonderful rules of order (chemical reactions, protein configurations, laws of physics etc.) in place and let it run with a guiding hand. Why? Because All Things Are Possible In God.

This is all from an agnostic religion-hating individual, by the way. If I can see the flaw in your logic, why can't you?
posted by Spanktacular at 10:17 AM on April 30, 2001

I am so not trying to kiss ass here, but props to tiaka on "Big Banger." That's the funniest damn thing I've read in a while...
posted by kphaley454 at 10:19 AM on April 30, 2001

For once, I agree with Owillis. Tiaka's rant brings people together!
posted by jbushnell at 10:54 AM on April 30, 2001

PS: shouldn't the initial post on this thread HAVE BEEN TYPED IN ALL CAPS?
posted by jbushnell at 10:55 AM on April 30, 2001

It needed a few more spelling mistakes too.
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 11:03 AM on April 30, 2001

is there mefi faq that lets people know to do the www->channel switch for nyt articles?

og article via backdoor
posted by dukejohnson at 11:09 AM on April 30, 2001

As I've always said, there's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.

Thank you Iceberg273.
posted by norm at 11:11 AM on April 30, 2001

I always tell people when they ask that I'm a non-denominational spiritualist, just so that I don't get into discussions like this one.
posted by feelinglistless at 11:32 AM on April 30, 2001

But while I'm here, my Chemistry teacher at school was a born-again Christian, and when I asked him to square his faith with the big bang, he told me that the Old Testament was bloody good poetry . . .
posted by feelinglistless at 11:34 AM on April 30, 2001

props to Tiaka on 'big banger'

Actually, the entire rant was not made up by tiaka . . . it was copied off the yahoo message board that he links to above. You'll have to give those props to some guy named Tyler, who has kindly provided us with a straw man to beat so that we don't have to create one ourselves.

(You're welcome, norm.)

There once was a man made of straw,
And we laughed each obvious flaw.
But what we didn't know
Was that those we opposed
Had made us out to be men of straw.
posted by iceberg273 at 11:36 AM on April 30, 2001

Someone needs to record a song to the tune of Spam, but with 'Troll'

Just have to be wary of Military Agnostics "I don't know and you don't either!"
posted by john at 11:37 AM on April 30, 2001

posted by captain obvious at 11:38 AM on April 30, 2001

dukejohnson : Thanks for the NYT emergency factoid retrieval entrance thingumee doodah.
posted by davehat at 11:46 AM on April 30, 2001

Merci beaucoup iceberg.

I stand corrected.

Props to Tyler.

Good deed for the day.

Or something.
posted by kphaley454 at 11:50 AM on April 30, 2001

- Oh sure, that is how it was made.....just
- some big bang, then the next thing you
- know, man walked out of the swamp, got in
- his Mercedes, and drove away.

It takes an open and unclutted mind to realise that, yes, this is a possibility. Religious people forget that things -can- entirely manifest themselves through chance.. and go on about 'how could a machine so perfect as man be made purely by chance?'.. Here's how.

Let's say things went completely different during the Big Bang (whether it happened or not).. however, suddenly physics is completely different to what we have to come agree on in this existence, and 'people' exist only as pink rays of light. This is completely believable.. why should the 'perfect machine' be a pink lump of cells sitting on a planet made of rock, carbon and water?

It's just as likely we could have ended up as gases, wandering around a planet made from jelly.

Just because the universe may have entirely been made by chance, doesn't mean that every single other chance would have resulted in a lifeless universe. We'd just have been different, that's all. (Go watch the halloween Simpsons episode where Homer goes back to the time of the dinosaurs and screws up modern life to see what I mean in a humourous format)
posted by wackybrit at 12:07 PM on April 30, 2001

Isn't this topic important enough to deserve a better start? I missed the story the first time through because all I saw was a bunch of horseshit about God.
posted by steve_high at 12:19 PM on April 30, 2001

Facts usually turn out to be insufficient theories and theories are usually quack.
posted by nonharmful at 12:32 PM on April 30, 2001

Besides, it wasn't a big bang, it was a big wreck.

God doesn't exist. Or does he? Does Pascal's wagers settle the argument? But atheists have their reasons too.

This is so confusing Help me God!
posted by tremendo at 1:12 PM on April 30, 2001

Spanktacular: Tiaka just copied and pasted that dialog from a yahoo message board. I dont think she fully thinks that way. please read all the posts before posting.
posted by Qambient at 1:33 PM on April 30, 2001

I was just rumbling around the attic and found the original copy of the bible. And guess what? It's just a book.
posted by nonharmful at 2:00 PM on April 30, 2001

Qambient, thank you. I was not aware that this was some sort of joke or prank. I took the post at face value. Perhaps a comment or two from Tiaka could have cleared that up.

I've only been around here for a couple, maybe three months...I had no idea this sort of posting was normal for Tiaka, or even accepted as good posting form. That is, is it appropriate to post another person's words as your own post on MeFi?
posted by Spanktacular at 2:17 PM on April 30, 2001

Sorry for any confusion, spank, but I did clear up some of the stuff in this post.

Btw, I acknowledge the recognition of the phrase 'big-banger', without me you would have continued your big-banger-free lives as if nothing has happened, totally clueless of the next mefi aybabtu.
posted by tiaka at 3:33 PM on April 30, 2001

I'm tired now. My brain hurts. I'm going to bed.
posted by feelinglistless at 4:37 PM on April 30, 2001

Atheists: Defenders of Reality.
posted by davidmsc at 8:15 PM on April 30, 2001

Reality is putty in my hands. Silly putty that is.
posted by john at 9:33 PM on April 30, 2001

please someone kill this post. Any decent philiosopy teacher would have left the room after post three. This link is like some damn cartoon. Were did you people go to school, who taught you. Belt is coming off kids, and people are going to verbal woodshed. Metafilter can kick me off, but i will go into crush mode, egocentric? DAMN STRAIGHT, for this us a GREAT site. Few people i know are getting little concerned with the thinking on this site. So keep up the soloptic, regenerix, goofy with no point rhetorical babble and next thing you know BUTTLOVE69 or some damn certain will start squirting his polluted fingers all over the place. TIAKA, you got some new fangled theory that God exists, is it a fact? as you say. I love god, best friend i ever had, I choose to believe (decieve if it makes the athis and agis happy) but please post something that people can disseminate.
posted by clavdivs at 10:03 AM on May 1, 2001

Props to Tiaka. PRAISE to the soloptic, regenerix, goofy with no point rhetorical babble. And to anyone like Clavdivs who sounds like they're taking themselves or the Web too seriously I have this to say: SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE FROM PEOPLE! Thank you and good night.
posted by ZachsMind at 4:39 AM on May 4, 2001

Ok I'm not a strict follower of my religion (Islam). Man is that's an understatement, (been out geting caned, drinking, raving, and pulling al de time lately).

But I do believe in God and part of my moral basis such as treating others the best I can and having respect for women, etc comes from religion.

And I fucking hate all these creationists. Whoever said they were guilty of the sin of pride was spot on. If you have strong belief and love for your god, than you should respect his creation and want to understand all there is to know about it. Whenever I've learnt scientific ideas such as relativity, qantuam physics, genetic biology, evolution, etc, its always given me more awe and respect for God.
posted by Rips at 5:07 AM on May 4, 2001

Please Zachmind. Look at the name, fool, limey.. Soylent green? whats next from your fritter bowl. Fahernheit451.? And Props?. Your recreation of an americam dilect makes me wanna buy a plane ticket. come on Mr. Heston, give me another shot......thata what i thought. Long winded lobsterback...
posted by clavdivs at 9:24 AM on May 4, 2001

Tell me you're Andy Kaufman back from the dead! You a funny clown! Funny!
posted by ZachsMind at 12:22 AM on May 5, 2001

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