MetaFilter

Neither of you is wrong, but the person who wants less contact gets to make the call.

Were you "best friends" before you were lovers? I had a situation like that once. And then the "love" part ended and, seemingly, the "friend" part with it. And yeah, I wanted to keep it happening way more than she did, and tried various strategies to make it so, all failures that only drove her further away. To make an extremely... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by philip-random at 8:07 PM on November 15, 2010

I'm sorry that I'm late enough to the game in this conversation that it's all fizzling away into details and arguments, but I had to spend the day interviewing costumed animals yesterday and couldn't get settled down to really write something.

I have a fascination with the whole "straight guy" genre primarily because, over my life, I've had a number of ongoing and a few significant one-off experiences with straight guys, which I've found them to be tremendously... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by sonascope at 2:20 PM on July 5, 2010

So what can I do or say in this difficult situation to be the best support I can be to her?

"Too late to worry about that now, honey. Let's check today's paper for jobs together. And I'll drive you to your interview tomorrow so you don't arrive all sweaty and wrinkled. And buy you lunch!"
posted to Ask MetaFilter by rokusan at 7:33 AM on May 17, 2010 marked best answer

I have no problem with the separate finances part, in general... I believe in privacy even for married couples... but supporting each other (including financially, if and when necessary) is part of any marriage in my mind, too. Heck, it's part of any friendship to me. Perhaps you meant that long term, you won't be relied upon to be the sole earner, in which case that sounds fine to me, and even nice that she was explicit about that expectation.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by rokusan at 7:31 AM on May 17, 2010 marked best answer

She probably was not intending to quit that day she went to work, but then something happened - like she asked to revise a perfectly good document for the eighth time, or do 3 tasks at once right now, or patted on the ass, or whatever.

You weren't there so she made a judgment call and quit. I think she acted perfectly reasonably, and you had some warning and should trust in her.

Think of this as a bonding experience and try to be sympathetic... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by meepmeow at 7:52 AM on May 17, 2010

I was reading something that explained why it is that science makes it hurt.

The person was comparing it to cats. We all know that cats give birth in quiet, dark corners all alone and only emerge if they have a big problem and need immediate help. For the most part, though, cats give birth in the dark and come out only when the process is completed.

But if we were really interested in watching cats give birth, we couldn't just let them labor... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by InnocentBystander at 10:42 PM on January 20, 2008

Birdwells. The shorter models are as close to a speedo as you can get without actually wearing spandex. Beach lifeguards (myself included) swear by them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by saladin at 7:34 AM on January 20, 2008

Call someone (your parents? a single friend?)

Make things - get some beads, knitting supplies, or little shelves to hang on your wall, or draw, or write in a nice blank book, plan a budget, design some stationery for yourself

Gentle stretching might be a really good idea; loosen your neck and shoulders, work on gradually touching your toes, things like that. It may not make a huge difference at first, but eventually it will probably really help.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by amtho at 8:30 AM on January 19, 2008

If you have the money to cover your share and you are genuinely offering, you know your intentions, who cares what the guy thinks? What you are doing is fine. Offer and if they refuse, don't push it. If they are offended by a kind gesture, do you really want to continue going out with that guy?

Anecdotally, there is the Chinese way that my parents taught me when we were at dim sum with family members. Check drops, violently slam your hand down on it and forcibly take it.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by spec80 at 12:31 PM on January 18, 2008

For a different take, why not a light-pipe kind of deal? Also known as a lightwell, you have a transparent dome on the roof, a reflective large-ish diameter tube down from there, and a translucent "lighting fixture" type thing at the other end.

Advantages are that you don't need to worry about tracking daylight at all, and it works without power. Disadvantages are that you need to be able to poke a hole from the top to the bottom of your house.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by 5MeoCMP at 8:41 PM on January 14, 2008

I was raised on a dairy farm and currently work for a dairy.

Is the milk pasteurized/homogenized or is it raw?

If it is homogenized, it won't have a cream line. The expiration date is pretty far out there. If your fridge is set at 40 degrees (36 is ideal) most milk will keep to that expiration date...maybe a day or two beyond.

Raw milk does not go bad. It will ferment from it's own live organisms, sour, and turn itself... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by goalyeehah at 9:17 PM on January 13, 2008

There's spekemat, which is (Norwegian?) salt leg of lamb. And here in New Zealand I've had smoked cured leg of lamb that was actually very similar to ham. (It's not that common or popular though). I can buy a smoked cured chicken in the supermarket any day of the week, and they're damned tasty.

A pork ham has the following advantages:
- sweet taste that counters the salt nicely (unlike beef)
- protective fat layer (unlike beef)
-... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by i_am_joe's_spleen at 11:22 PM on December 14, 2007

Oh! And technique: Remember that small talk is horrible and stupid. So forget about suavely leading into a conversation with wretched innocuous remarks. Develop ways to communicate that you want to meet someone. Two of mine are, "I'm not sure I can call you by name, and I think this unfortunate," and "So I've met here, but I don't think I know you." Get the basic themes that small talk covers (in its reach for shared interests), and hit them fast:... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by eritain at 9:29 PM on December 4, 2007

One of my fondest childhood memories is when my stepfather picked me up from 8th grade on a Friday for a weekend "guys only" fishing trip.

Since he never picked me up from school otherwise, it was exciting to have him waiting for me, the car and the gear loaded up, ready for us to head out, just the men folk to do men things. That was way better than him bringing home a video game or some other toy that I'd have long forgotten by now.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by grumpy at 11:02 AM on November 30, 2007

Theater pyrotechnics. They're reasonably safe and a stupid amount of fun.

...I mean really, what 15yr old boy wouldn't want to shoot fire from his hand? Or be able to snap his fingers & create a fireball?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by aramaic at 10:46 AM on November 30, 2007

Is spear-phising different from regular phising?

evariste already ably answered this, but I thought I'd elaborate because it's a huge issue for me. It's also a really insidious social engineering technique that not enough people are aware of. Like evariste said, it's a targeted attack towards a company/organization/government entity, and is a lot harder to spot than "normal" phishing.

Let me give you an example. I... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by gemmy at 8:57 PM on November 29, 2007

One of the things you are probably getting a craving for is glutamate--source of "umami," or the mysterious "fifth taste."

Glutamate's most infamous incarnation is MSG; it also rears its head in many processed foods as "modified" or "hydrolyzed" starches or proteins.

You are probably getting a craving partially because the bagel and its processed fillings are rich in added glutamates. I would not be... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by rachelpapers at 4:07 PM on November 27, 2007 marked best answer

That might be the best answer EVER.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by grouse at 2:43 PM on November 26, 2007

The first official pawn shops were initially founded but franciscan monks trying to keep crime down. So, pawn shops were definitely a boon for many people who were down on their luck as well as for the rest of the towns that had them. There might be something there that helps the shady image a bit.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by theholotrope at 3:14 PM on November 23, 2007

Here are the magic words for recruiters who want to waste your time: "My time for going on interviews is very limited. Is this call about a specific position? Can you tell me more about this position?"

If they give you static, then they're a timewasting moron - tell them you've got to go floss your cat or something and hang up.

Oh, and Skypeout is your friend. You can get a local number in most US cities (and some large cities... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by deadmessenger at 2:38 PM on November 21, 2007

posted to MetaTalk by brownpau at 2:07 AM on September 7, 2006

If you're willing to order from here in the UK, you can get some good whisky glasses from The Macallan store. You could also get your husband a nice 18yr old as well to make up for breaking his last glass.

My personal favourites are made by Glencairn Crystal. I've a set of their Lewis whisky tumblers and love them. Haven't tried the Glencairn Whisky Glass, but I've heard it's exceptionally good. Not exactly what you're looking for re shape, but well worth considering if... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Nugget at 9:16 AM on November 20, 2007 marked best answer

This may not be helpful now but if you ever get to the point where you'd like to watch (alone, I think) a dark but sweet movie about falling in love with the clumsy, consider A New Leaf with Walter Mathhau and an amazing Elaine May.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Morrigan at 2:39 PM on November 17, 2007

Yah, I use izarc for the context menus, and because I don't want XP to put on its robe and wizard hat.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:06 PM on November 15, 2007

You know, it's quite a strange thing. The single most common adjective applied to Mister Rogers in this and other thread is the word 'creepy'?

I think I know why he strikes people as creepy. It's because his isn't at all 'cool'. There is no cynicism, no irony, no condescension in him at all. He is not simply unhip, he is ahip. And this is what people calling him creepy are picking up on.

We are conditioned to traffic in... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 2:00 PM on June 1, 2007

This is funny!

Go Around Twice If You Want Representative Democracy

Honk If You Want Basic Safety Regulations For Foreign Construction Laborers
posted to MetaFilter by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:50 PM on November 13, 2007

I never went to "Outward Bound" but friends of mine did, and they told me that one of the first things they were taught was this: "if your feet are cold, put on a hat."

Your cold feet are the consequence of an important survival mechanism, it turns out. Its purpose is to reduce the chance of you dying of hypothermia.

If your feet are cold, put on a sweater. Or a hat. I'm not joking; it works. If your body isn't trying to... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Steven C. Den Beste at 8:39 PM on November 13, 2007

I often wish I had done this. I do okay for myself, but I would love to be able to "retire" and work full time as an artist, and I can't do that. But I think I could have done it, had I made different choices when I was younger.

Here are some additional thoughts:

-- I think it's fine to put your art on hold, but not your family/friends. You will deeply regret this later. And they won't be understanding of the fact that you have to cut... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by grumblebee at 6:57 AM on December 15, 2006

I had a horrible mouse problem in my apartment, and I also couldn't deal with inhumane traps. But none of the catch-em-and-let-em-go traps worked for me.

Finally, I bought a Rat Zapper* and I've been mouse free for years (as have other people to whom I recommended the zapper).

The zapper DOES kill the mouse, but it's an instant death. It's a little tunnel. You can put some food at the end of the tunnel, but you often don't need to do this. Mice... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by grumblebee at 12:45 PM on December 15, 2006

I have many friends who are in the BDSM community (including renowned sexual educator Midori) who come across or deal with bruising much more often than your average folk. Many of them absolutely swear by the use of "Arnica Montana" (also known as "Leopard's Bane) on bruises; in that it reduces the appearance of them, as well as making them subside substancially quicker. It's use is also extremely popular with many athletes.

Arnica is made from the dried... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Jade Dragon at 3:51 AM on December 3, 2006

Here is the basic idea in a nutshell. Certain patterns and combinations of notes sound nice together, or make certain effects -- we call these scales and chords. Certain combinations of scales and certain combinations of chords sound better than others -- we call this harmony. For instance, combine certain chords together, and you get music that sounds sad -- we'll call this minor harmony. And if you combine certain other chords together, you get music that sounds kinda happy -- we'll call this... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by chrismear at 3:23 AM on April 11, 2004 marked best answer

Yeah, those kicky little serifs really make the difference. If it helps at all, I found that by searching for 1940s fonts.

And if all else fails, make someone draw it for you and fontify it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by stefanie at 10:36 PM on October 21, 2006

Judging by your last 3 AskMe questions, I'm gonna have to second the nuts. It's really the only way to become a giant, super-fertile sumo-squirrel. (Plus maybe some human growth hormone -- Barry Bonds has a very shapely jaw.)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by turducken at 12:12 AM on October 17, 2006

all of these answers echo my argument to my friend, but he demonstrated what he meant.

how many of you are familiar with rfc 2817?

Apparently the problem he was discussing is that not all installations of mod_ssl support the "Upgrade" header described in the rfc.

I just confirmed with a traffic sniffer that using https to POST a form delivered thru http will start out in cleartext. The server replies back with... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Pasa la bola chetu at 8:09 PM on October 13, 2006

My HR friend calls Phoenix "Pop Up University".
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Sallyfur at 5:52 PM on October 10, 2006

I was in bed sleeping with a friend, well she was asleep, I looked into her face and 'thought' her name.She opened her eyes and said "don't, ever do that again".
posted to Ask MetaFilter by hortense at 9:22 PM on October 10, 2006

Slight digression:

There is a street in my town (Somerville, MA) named "Gold Star Road". It's about two blocks long, and nine families on this street lost sons during WWII- hence the name. I had heard the story, but never seen the flags, so thanks for the answers!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bobot at 1:37 PM on October 9, 2006

"Underwhelmed" is just a jocular formation from "overwhelmed". It's no more used seriously than "gruntled".

But according to the OED to be whelmed is to be submerged or engulfed. So why do we need the "over" part?

Nobody says that they've been "oversubmerged", or "overengulfed", do they? If you've been submerged, there's not much more under you can be. It seems like a double emphasis.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by AmbroseChapel at 12:23 AM on October 9, 2006

Your car loan is going to have a requirement that you carry sufficient coverage to pay them off if the car is totaled. Aside from requirements from lenders if you have a loan you can do what you like with comprehensive coverage. There's certainly a good case to be made for self-insuring. If you put a lot of money down and can afford to save the money, select a high deductible.

For liability, however, please stop cheaping out. If you're in an accident where someone is... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by phearlez at 12:58 PM on October 6, 2006

They are also .95 on iTunes. And I think they've found the price point at which I'll be willing to pay, rather than steal...or um...you know, record.

Do yourself a favor: buy This American Life: Special Ed or This American Life: Prom.

Both are golden.
posted to MetaTalk by ColdChef at 5:26 PM on October 4, 2006

I am very happy to read these posts. It's not easy to have notoriety and pretty much have accurate conceptions in the public mind. Virtually everything said her about me is accurate.

I never wanted a spotlight or fame. I built computers and handed out schematics. I at first said "no" to starting Apple because I loved my work at HP (Calculators) and could always design on the side.

I have always been an amateur comedian. I had this idea... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by stevewoz at 8:56 AM on October 4, 2006

If you complain and they do issue a WDRP reminder to the domain registrant and they don't respond the domain will be deleted. Game over.

It's the internet-equivalent of flipping over the chess board and sending all the pieces flying.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by sportbucket at 3:43 PM on October 6, 2006

Sorry -- that this one link didn't work correctly. The option you want is "Retrieve Customer Number," on this page.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by sportbucket at 3:31 PM on October 5, 2006

GoDaddy offers a number of password retrieval options. This one allows you to type in a domain and they'll show you a blinded version of the email address associated with the account that registered it.

From there, making a connection was fairly easy.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by sportbucket at 3:25 PM on October 5, 2006

there was an article in the wsj the other week about a site that matches people up with all kinds of financial advisors - www.myfinancialadvice.com. I tried this guy out and must say I was impressed by how thorough he was. I highly recommend them and him.

also: HSBC has an online savings account with a flexible interest rate that really does pay quite handsomly. it's free of charge, you get a debit card and they currently pay you 5.05%. I signed up back when it was 4.50%... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by krautland at 5:19 PM on October 4, 2006

Has anyone asked maf54 what he thinks?
posted to MetaTalk by Mid at 8:05 PM on October 3, 2006

The jerks who are gaming MeFi are of two types:

1. Those who fail.
2. Those who succeed.

Those who fail get banhammered and thoroughly ridiculed in MeTa, potentially causing a googlebombing linking their name with excreta.

Those who succeed were of benefit to the community, because they were truly interesting and were well-received by a scathingly skeptical crew. Those who succeed may have been paid for it;... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by five fresh fish at 1:45 PM on October 2, 2006

matt-Are you listening to yourself speak? Do you really think a reader of mefi has $7 million and $70 million to spend on a new house?

Metafilter has very high pagerank. You do the math-owie.

I don't think you understand the high-end real estate market, evariste. Nobody's trying to boost the page rank for their $75 million-dollar listings. They don't need to.

The potential market for a home like... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by dersins at 1:41 PM on October 2, 2006

matt will pay every user .50 to ignore this story.
posted to MetaTalk by quonsar at 11:55 AM on October 2, 2006

Any sufficiently undetectable comment spam is indistinguishable from good worthwhile comments.
posted to MetaTalk by smackfu at 12:34 PM on October 2, 2006