MetaFilter

No.

First off, the microwave isn't on. Second off, if you were getting any radiation from it, your skin would feel uncomfortably warm (that's how less-than-lethal microwave weapons work). Third, no. Your skin is enough of a resistor to remove any real danger, unless your hands are metal forks. If they are, you have bigger problems, Tetsuo Iron Man.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by klangklangston at 7:29 PM on October 15, 2006

To second Melissa May (sort of):

Ask yourself, what would an aloof, humorous, Hugh Grant-like character would do. Here is how I imagine it (assuming here name is Betty and you work for a paper company).

You (to client): Yes, we DO have both regular and college-ruled paper.

Her: I don't know HOW THE HELL YOU WOULD KNOW. ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND WITH WITH YOUR BIG HEAD PHONES ON, POINTING AT YOUR HEAD AND TURNING YOUR... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by 4ster at 9:23 PM on October 16, 2006

This is about as importaint as who is sleeping with who... so who would like to share?

I currently sleep alone.

The line starts here, ladies.
Please, no pushing.
posted to MetaTalk by Alvy Ampersand at 4:22 PM on October 15, 2006

::polishes resume to highlight relationship drama post editing skills:
posted to MetaTalk by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:54 AM on October 13, 2006

Plus magnetic are reusable, so you can pull the same trick on your mom, your boss, and someday, your children.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by hermitosis at 8:41 AM on October 13, 2006

Remember that episode of South Park where Kyle, Stan and Kenny just ignored Cartman, who figured since no one was talking to him, he must be dead?

Is anyone else understanding what I'm saying here? Perhaps we could apply this lesson to DAM ASSHATS?

Dame, automats are the reason I moved to NYC! You don't have to talk to any people!
posted to MetaTalk by DenOfSizer at 2:51 PM on October 11, 2006

If anyone's first thought is "terrorists!" and not "small aircraft, bad weather, poor visibility,"...

It doesn't help that Yahoo's one line headline was "Plane crashes into Manhattan building." (Now changed to "Small aircraft hits Manhattan building.")
posted to MetaFilter by smackfu at 12:46 PM on October 11, 2006

If anyone's first thought is "terrorists!" and not "small aircraft, bad weather, poor visibility," I think it's safe to say that the WTC attack was an unmitigated success.
posted to MetaFilter by uncleozzy at 12:40 PM on October 11, 2006

I know the connections are obvious: a plane, NYC, a building, but really, A U.S. official told Reuters there was no reason to believe the incident was terrorism-related. Are we going to get this kind of disclaimer about everything now?

'A car crashed into a building. Terrorists not involved'

'Cat stuck in tree. No terror link suspected.'

Are we really that frightened as a people that any time there is... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 12:17 PM on October 11, 2006

Yeah, sit ups. The more you do, the thinner your face will be.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by klangklangston at 11:31 AM on October 10, 2006

The point of the question is to demonstrate that getting rid of spell check was a poor choice.
posted to MetaTalk by occhiblu at 11:20 AM on October 10, 2006

The buttons being on the left are a dead giveaway that it's a woman's jacket. Then again, not a lot of folks would notice that. If anyone says anything, say, "It's my last piece of clothing since before The Operation" and watch their response.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by adipocere at 6:38 PM on October 9, 2006

lord_wolf writes "on metafilter, you can write an unflattering generalization -- even something downright nasty -- about the northeastern or northwestern parts of america, and there's no outcry. some of nor'easterners will even agree with you and add a dis of their own."

I think it's because, generally, complaints about the north are about the conditions (cost of housing, traffic, cleanliness, etc.), whereas when they're about the south,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Bugbread at 9:45 AM on October 6, 2006

I think of the space before the question mark as a sort of typographical version of looking over at the camera and shrugging, followed by laugh track. Which makes those questions the "Full House" of AskMe questions. And that's from the person who once posted a question asking where cobwebs come from.

And naxosaxur just wrote a bright eyes song up there I think.
posted to MetaTalk by stupidsexyFlanders at 9:41 PM on October 8, 2006

Wait, here's what you do. Create a condom collage or mobile and hang it just above the pillow area. It gets the issue right there out front. You can always pretend like it's just art. And it'll give her a comfortable segue to give you the go-ahead. Scene: "What a nice piece of art. Say, are those detachable?" I totally see this going well.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by kookoobirdz at 12:38 PM on October 7, 2006

I think the look probably means something more like "The crevice between your mattress and the wall? Dude, where's your sense of style? Go buy yourself a bed table".
posted to Ask MetaFilter by iconomy at 12:27 PM on October 7, 2006

You don't have time to answer questions by people who, upon big-picture examination, don't ask meaningful enough questions—but you do have time to keep track of who doesn't deserve answers?

I have time neither to answer questions by people who don't generally ask meaningful enough questions nor to keep track of which question-askers generally don't deserve answers, but I do have time to answer the questions of those who keep track of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Kwine at 11:13 AM on October 8, 2006

Here's what I want to see...when people who to ask a question, they are asked to input a single sentence of what the question is about...like "I need a restaurant in new york city". That takes them to a search, which says at the top: "Ok, fuckwit, you've got 28 results in AskMe. Are you going to post something covered before that is going to piss off a bunch of AskMe addicted pedants? If so, know that you're going to get a swift kick in the virtual genitalia.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Kickstart70 at 9:31 PM on October 5, 2006

A girl on MeFi?

[puts on pants]
posted to MetaTalk by clevershark at 7:34 AM on October 6, 2006

I'm a guy, and I'm saying this, not because I'm trying to be a nice guy, but because it's true.

If I'm attracted to you enough when your clothes are on that I want to see you undressed, we're probably good.

It's hard for me to imagine a guy telling an anecdote that ends in 'and then I realized she'd had breast-reduction surgery! I was so outta there!' Not even the crassest, most superficial and banal guy I know.

People... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bingo at 6:46 AM on October 7, 2006

You know, it would be cool if you could find (or reproduce) and old PanAm flight attendant's uniform and have your folks renew their vows with the flight attendant officiating.

And I really think you need to use the title to your post on the invitation!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Lockjaw at 2:30 PM on October 5, 2006

Apoptosis is nice. I'd suggest apoptotic for an adjective if it didn't sound like a crispy snack made out of toddlers.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by nebulawindphone at 3:37 PM on October 5, 2006

But I do think all posts on all sections of MeFi should begin "Hey languagehat..." Gives me that feeling of participation, y'know?

Also, I think loquacious should totally take up the challenge.
posted to MetaTalk by languagehat at 3:31 PM on October 5, 2006

I've not posted in the thread, but I can't believe there's even controversy about this. It's like "hay guys my wife believes in all sorts of stupid shit that i don't. should we have kids????" The answer is obviously WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?
posted to MetaTalk by reklaw at 3:30 PM on October 5, 2006

Dear Mr. Davy, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Thursday afternoon in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. And what we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain.....and a languagehat.....an animated gif....a princess.....and anonymous. Does that... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by mattbucher at 3:30 PM on October 5, 2006

it's a good thing that we have so many atheists here, because otherwise we'd always be listening to people preach ...
posted to MetaTalk by pyramid termite at 2:23 PM on October 5, 2006

As far as I know it is still running on a PC server in Matt's abode.

Stuff of legends. Here's the entire server history:

December 1998: I take my old 300Mhz celeron home computer to my office at UCLA. Working in a computer group at UCLA means that you're free to run a server on the massive OC12 bandwidth for free as long as it is for personal projects. It runs under my desk as I start playing with ColdFusion. It runs here... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by mathowie at 1:02 PM on October 4, 2006

AskMe = encyclopedia. Formal, comprehensive, exacting.

MeFi = Book of Lists. Strange, compelling, entertaining. It also doubles as a sounding board on big issues.

MeTa = Fight Club.

MeCha = Carebears.
posted to MetaTalk by five fresh fish at 9:03 AM on October 4, 2006

When I was driving back from New Orleans to Michigan, and we made a foolish detour through Atlanta, I managed to catch about half of a late night radio host doing some sort of call-in contest (at least, I assume it was a contest).
The question that the callers had to answer was "What kind of hat am I wearing?"
As I came in, the host had just dismissed "bandana," because "bandanas aren't hats."
He then reiterated the clues: it was... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by klangklangston at 9:47 AM on October 3, 2006

OH NOES MY PRECIOUS QUESTION WAS DELETERD!

"How do you make food?"
(Deleted. What kind of food?)

"What's that thing over there?"
(Deleted. What thing?)

"How do you make a stranger enjoy?"
(Deleted. Enjoy what?)

"How do you make a stranger take the thing from my hand?"
(Deleted. Who? What thing?)... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by klangklangston at 9:15 AM on October 3, 2006

It's good to keep handy a collection of varied caulking materials -- a bucket of caulks, if you will.
posted to MetaTalk by brain_drain at 9:57 PM on October 2, 2006

Are we just in a bad area? Is the south like that in general?

Are all Northerners assholes? Or just stupid enough to make this kind of generalization? I think if you answer that, you've probably answered your own question.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by digitalis at 10:49 PM on September 30, 2006

It's so odd... why not have a better post with both those links?

Isn't that the MeFi equiv of "The food here sucks--and such small portions!"?
posted to MetaTalk by dobbs at 6:56 PM on September 30, 2006

Don't take tylenol--you don't want to dogpile your liver any more than necessary.

I've had some real winners, and my regimen for a post-apocalyptic hangover is as follows:

Wake up. Regret this decision.
Get up, and take a dump. Sin-butt is not fun, but you earned up. Best to get it over with quickly.
Send one of your minions to the corner store for the following:

Pepto Bismol
A huge bag... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Coda at 4:29 PM on September 29, 2006

I recently made a mental note that we needed peanut butter, and bought peanut butter when I went grocery shopping. The next time I was in the grocery store, the mental note re-activated and I bought another jar. It happened again the next week. I was not able to stop buying jars of peanut butter until one week I remembered to write on my grocery list, "Do not need peanut butter."

Just chimin' in.
posted to MetaTalk by not that girl at 1:29 PM on September 30, 2006

The kids thing seems like just a smokescreen with your larger concerns with his intentions. You love this man, but do you trust him? It doesn't sound like he knows his own feelings or, at least, is telling you anything about them. I don't want to be a naysayer but I've seen in a lot of these situations that when the love-er (the one who's in love with the friend) starts backing off that's when the love-ee starts expressing "interest." But it's not really interest, it's that they miss... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by miss tea at 5:28 AM on September 29, 2006

USians will do anything when they're driving which is why they pip New Zealanders as worst drivers in the Western world. Eating and holding a mobile phone conversation is not that uncommon. What you don't see in the pic is the trail of destruction left by sperose lurching all over the road. ;-)

It's true, I just get so hungry when I'm driving and when I eat I like to narrate my meal to a friend on the cellphone. I think the way I do it is perfectly... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Divine_Wino at 8:50 AM on September 29, 2006

good for you! writes "I'm starting to think I should line my car in tin foil, would store brand work or should I spring for the name brand? :)"

Reynolds makes a heavy duty foil that is twice the thickness of regular foil for BBQs and that kind of thing. It's much better for anything that'll be exposed to the wind. Also you can buy a self adhesive aluminum tape in 2" wide rolls. It's great for joining edges and is available from the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Mitheral at 12:43 PM on September 28, 2006

The pressure to comment is getting bigger and bigger every day. Before I even posted, I spent weeks thinking up a username. Then I scanned every front page post three times to make sure I understood the nuances of the conversation. When I finally posted, I was worried I'd get called out. Then I hoped that someone would respond. Then I prayed to be marked "favorite." Then I wished to have cortex turn my comment into a song. Now I screw my eyes shut and breath into a paper bag in hopes... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by robocop is bleeding at 1:22 PM on September 27, 2006

Metafilter is suffering from some kind of post-post-modern hyper-reality-TV paranoid delusion.
posted to MetaTalk by ludwig_van at 8:02 AM on September 27, 2006

Dear xteraco,

If you actually take one of the GED tests that are offered in your area in the upcoming month, I will personally send you the $13 to cover the cost, via PayPal or US Mail or how ever else you want to recive the reimbursement. No, scratch that, I'll send you $20, and the extra $7 can be a graduation present -- presuming you pass.

All you have to do is provide us with proof that you have taken the GED test. You can do this by... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Asparagirl at 8:14 PM on September 26, 2006

(somehow evariste you and i were suspected in a sordid affair for a few minutes)

I missed that little gem the first time around.

Yeah, baseless accusations of infidelity are the controlling sociopath's stock-in-trade. Notice how that puts you on the defensive and puts him in the victim position?

He's breaking your defenses and sense-of-self down so he can control you forever. Have a nice day.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by evariste at 8:06 PM on September 26, 2006

Most of all, stand up for your lover when they get bashed on the net.

Sweetheart, you keep learning the wrong lesson here. Stand up for yourself when you're getting bashed -- literally or figuratively -- in your own life. Did you notice how the more you revealed about the situation, the more we all reacted strongly? Because you're describing what many, many of us have either lived through or witnessed in our own lives. You... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by scody at 2:05 PM on September 26, 2006

I'm insomniac the last few days, which is why I'm up at this hour.

You need friends, fr0zen. Friends are people who care about you and have no ulterior motive for it, not even blood relation. They care about you because they know you and love who you are. You need friends who can tell you things like "you have spinach between your front teeth" or "you need to dump your boyfriend". Things that you don't want to hear, but are good for you.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by evariste at 5:06 AM on September 26, 2006

The worst part of this is that Trinarian ordered me to get my own blog twice (once here, once in MetaTalk) despite the fact that I have had my own blog for months now. If only someone would come read it... so lonely...so ...lone...
posted to MetaFilter by jonson at 11:19 PM on September 24, 2006

you
are
awesome

You can bookmark this, and refer to it often.
posted to MetaTalk by boo_radley at 1:32 PM on August 29, 2006

I find it telling that your username isn't readandunderstoodthesignandthenactedaccordingly.
posted to MetaFilter by flashboy at 2:41 AM on September 22, 2006

I ATTACK...THE DARKNESS
posted to MetaTalk by cortex at 4:25 PM on September 21, 2006

One of the sneaky things my mom used to do with me when I was a teenager:

She'd pose questions about other people's parenting decisions, and ask me what I thought was the best way to approach the situation. For example: "I know someone who's daughter is having unprotected sex with her boyfriend, and I know her parents are against abortion. Her parents don't know this girl is having sex. What should I do?"

Trying to answer my mom's... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by croutonsupafreak at 9:39 PM on September 18, 2006

You work for the taliban ?

I work in an office where I would rather not be opening photos of naked people, as I believe many others do. The common courtesy we've developed for such people is to mark links containing such photos with the letters "nsfw". Whether or not you agree with that convention, is this really something you want to turn into a flame war by making ridiculous analogies? Because that's exactly what Hitler would do.
posted to MetaFilter by scottreynen at 11:53 AM on September 15, 2006