MetaFilter

Some background for those of you who don't understand a word of what's going on here.

By now, I imagine most of you have probably noticed that when you type 'www.metafilter.com' in your browser and hit enter, your computer connects to this server and displays the web page there. But have you ever wondered just exactly how that works?

When you start a conversation with Metafilter, your computer assembles a connection-start... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Malor at 1:09 PM on March 2, 2008

Religious beliefs consist largely of a bag of morals: what's right and what's wrong.

Heh. If you say so.

See:

1. A Cup of Tea

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by KokuRyu at 5:00 PM on February 28, 2008

Cool post, thanks hadjiboy.

I understand that there will always be poverty, but seriously, send over a few thousand shovels, a few tens of thousands of feet of pipe, and some blueprints, and let them at least have some dignity. Christ.

Pasta, you're brilliant as ever.

I moved to South Africa last year to do some pro-bono work with one of the biggest NGOs doing relief and development work in the third... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by allkindsoftime at 1:40 AM on February 29, 2008

For starters, yeah, therapy would probably help a lot. But (unless there's a real biological component or a lot of other stuff going on) therapy will not make this go away -- it will just give you better ways to deal with it.

I'd start by just accepting it as a fact of life that you're liable to freak out after, oh, 24 hours without contact from him. And/or that you'll occasionally freak out in shorter time periods if there is a lot of ex potential. You know, the same... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by salvia at 3:27 PM on February 24, 2008

FUN QUIZ!

How should this interesting Henry C. Mabuse sentence end ... ?

One of the clues I picked up over the years from studying the USA cattle mutilation mystery ...

(a) was how to make a woman achieve a satisfying sexual climax using only my elbow.
(b) was that Angela Lansbury, I ain't.
(c) was that, fuck it, I just really like steak.
(d) was that it may have... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 10:28 AM on February 22, 2008

I wonder if you might be interested in some of the teachings of Buddhist nun Pema Chodron. I've listened to some audiobooks by her and found them very insightful, particularly regarding the whole realm of compassion, and how one must have compassion for oneself before one can truly have it for others.

Here's a transcription of part of one of the tapes I listened to. I love the phrasing of the title there, "Cultivating unconditional friendliness toward oneself.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by dnash at 9:41 AM on February 22, 2008

First, I want to counterbalance the suggestion that all comments will be received negatively. I actually enjoy talking to strangers and adore hearing something nice said about me. I think you should absolutely start complimenting people. I'm sorry, but if you get bothered when someone says you have a nice smile, then you shouldn't be smiling in the first place, because you're obviously a grouch.

I find myself simply saying to people "Wow, your hair looks great!... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Help, I can't stop talking! at 5:05 AM on February 22, 2008

the experience of many people on "mood stabalizing drugs" is what you're describing: we feel nothing, we care about nothing. sure, we aren't horribly fucking depressed and suicidal, but we aren't dancing through the tulips and signing songs either (which is kind of what all the advertisements for these drugs and many of the doctors who prescribe them initially promised us). so that "passionless life" of yours could be because of the drugs you're taking, or because of the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by misanthropicsarah at 9:31 AM on February 20, 2008

There's a lot going on here with you talking about your intellect, job(s), interests, depression, and your desperation.

It's hard to know where to begin as your question isn't very clear. For instance, if you're just looking for a career change, what does that have to do with your smart, beautiful girlfriend? You're "trying" to get a BA in English (whatever that means) but you have jobs that people "whistle at" (again, whatever that means.) Your... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by wfrgms at 7:54 AM on February 20, 2008

Ok,

I didn't believe at first, but I do now. Let me take a crack:

My problem was that it seems asinine to deduce down to the point where anybody on the island would think that they are the only BEI. Obviously everyone can see there are tons of them.

What helped me is realizing that this is all a mind game that an islander plays inside his own head.

BEI A thinks, I'll assume I'm brown eyed.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jpdoane at 8:42 PM on February 18, 2008

But in (iii) is where I think a mistake is made. If there are 3 or more BEP, such as in (iii), then each BEP knows something they do not in (i) or (ii), which is that every BEP (regardless of their own eye colour) knows that there is at least one other BEP.Yes, but they don't know that every BEP person knows that every BEP knows that there is at least one BEP.

For example, three BEP, pragmatically named A, B, and C.

A knows the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Flunkie at 11:15 PM on February 16, 2008

but what about empath?

I should be a speechwriter.

Here's his defense for this attack:

"First, my opponent has accused my of using lofty rhetoric instead having real solutions. Now she says my rhetoric isn't even my own!

Now, I want to be honest here. I've used some words that aren't my own before.

"Fired Up, Ready to Go?" I go that... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by empath at 1:24 PM on February 18, 2008

MATHOWLIE

For Cortexamyn

I

I saw the best minds of mefi generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
clicking themselves through the blue pages at dawn
looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Rumple at 4:12 PM on February 15, 2008

I've worked on a MacBook Air SSD, and personally use a Core 2 Duo (Santa Rosa) MacBook and a first-gen MacBook Pro. Obviously I haven't worked with the MacBook Air for long, but I dislike it compared with the other two.

If you've worked on one of the modern MacBooks -- the non-Pro ones -- the first thought is that it's not really that much smaller than a MacBook -- it has the same length and width dimensions. It's thinner, but it feels more like they've shaved off the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by I EAT TAPAS at 11:09 AM on February 8, 2008 marked best answer

Joke, you say?

Three turtles go on a picnic. They pack up some sandwiches, snacks, salads and sodas and head out to the chosen site, which is ten miles away from where the turtles live. Because they are turtles, and because they are carrying things, it takes them ten full days to get there.

When they finally arrive, they hungrily unpack the picnic basket. But something is wrong!

"Where's the bottle opener?... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by kosem at 3:33 PM on February 1, 2008

jessamyn and Lucinda's answers put it better than I could, but in short, there is a class of poverty that often gets overlooked because they're doing just well enough to keep their heads (or at least their nostrils) above water. They don't want welfare, probably wouldn't qualify for it anyway, but subsist just below the level of income that would allow them to really grow and prosper.

I've been friends with many such people, people who would have benefited immensely... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by middleclasstool at 8:49 PM on January 30, 2008

I work for Habitat. There, I said it. I've hinted at it for a long time, but I do. I want to both congratulate you for your questions and address some issues I feel strongly about. I cannot tell you how all affiliates work, I can simply tell you how ours does, and how International says we're supposed to. (They don't tell us much, but there are some things that are required.)

We don't build homes, we build houses. It's just that simple. It's up to the families to make... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by TomMelee at 8:42 PM on January 30, 2008 marked best answer

or just add this to your bookmarks: [all one line]

javascript:e=%22%22+(window.getSelection ? window.getSelection() : document.getSelection ? document.getSelection() : document.selection.createRange().text);void(delicious = open('https://api.del.icio.us/v1/posts/add?description='+encodeURIComponent(document.title)+'&extended='+escape(e).replace(/ /g, %22+%22)+'&tags=%s'+'&url='+escape(window.location.href)+'&shared=no','delicious','toolbar=no,width=500,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by sero_venientibus_ossa at 10:17 AM on January 31, 2008 marked best answer

This AskMeFi question of mine turned up an answer from user maudlin , which linked to this Psychology Today site. Not exactly reviews or rankings, but a very detailed list explaining each one's preferred method of practice and areas of extpertise, along with blurbs from each individual and pricing info, etc.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by white light at 2:25 PM on January 30, 2008

Well I can't top Ironmouth on this one, but I believe it's otherwise called Buddhism! The rest of us are trapped in only being able to think about the future and the past. We have to work hard to train ourselves to be mindful and to live in the present. So, I hope you're not having a rough time, but if you have this condition just know that it may have some advantages.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by kookoobirdz at 8:58 PM on January 27, 2008

Here's what I thought was a beautifully written article on D/s. I remember being moved by it - I was like, awwww :)

D/s article on Everything2

Hopefully you can relate to the appeal of that level of trust, and vulnerability.

I also found this:

Parents and Kids and D/s

As to patriarchal gender roles - D/s, as far as I understand it, is not at all about... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Ira.metafilter at 2:15 PM on January 26, 2008

Timely:

http://zenhabits.net/2008/01/6-effective-ways-to-combat-boredom/
posted to Ask MetaFilter by iguanapolitico at 12:21 PM on January 23, 2008

Nthing the do-stuff idea. You want a home run and aren't going to get it. You need to let go of that idea in order to avoid the suffering that comes from not getting it. You don't want to let go of it because then what chance does it have of happening? Answer: the same chance - very slim. Accept that nothing will fall in your lap and that what you are waiting for isn't looking for you and won't find you. It doesn't work like that. You have to find it, and it won't happen from the couch. You... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by kookoobirdz at 10:48 PM on January 22, 2008

Pema Chodron's book When Things Fall Apart has been recommended lots on MetaFilter -- I also just read/listened to her speaking on the subject of "shenpa" and learning to stay. Basically -- in an enormously simplified nutshell -- she talks about the kind of obsessive/repetitive thinking you describe as getting "hooked."

That hooked feeling -- that triggering thing that makes you keep thinking about what happened or how you were wronged -- is called... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mothershock at 8:23 AM on January 21, 2008 marked best answer

A little while back, I learned, not just in my head but in my emotional body somewhere, that I will live if people don't like me. I think I used to subconsciously believe before that if someone didn't like me, it was one of the worse things that could happen and I also used to subconsciously think that if something wasn't okay emotionally, I should try to "fix" it. And I think these beliefs led to a lot of hypocritical behaviour on my part - lying or masking the truth or not saying... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by gt2 at 8:42 AM on January 21, 2008 marked best answer

I struggled with assertiveness problems (and had the same parental dynamics, how strange.) I'm better at those situations now but not always terrific.

A lot of it DOES have to do with the mistaken notion that I can control someone else's emotional reaction to what I'm saying. Which, as 45moore45 points out, you cannot do.

I got a lot of help over the years from The Dance of Anger by Harriett Lerner, as well as People Skills by Robert Bolton.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jeanmari at 8:23 AM on January 21, 2008 marked best answer

An espresso martini will delightfully mess you up.

1 oz cold espresso
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz Kahlua
1 oz white creme de cacao

I cut back the creme do cacao to 0.5 oz because I find it too sweet.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by sockpup at 10:00 AM on January 20, 2008

On style:
Use InDesign or something like it. Photoshop is not for text.
Use no more than 3 and maybe just 1 font.
Use no more than 5 font sizes and/or weights, including your headlines and subheadlines.
Use color in order to make things stand out that should stand out, not just because you can.
Use grids and columns.
Use a baseline grid for the text.
Make your text wrap around an image.
Use a big... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by signal at 4:01 AM on January 18, 2008 marked best answer

There was a very good article posted in another thread by brooklynexperiment, that would be helpful to you as well, OP: The Futile Pursuit of Happiness. (Which isn't as bleak an article as the title sounds, it's more about not worrying about maximizing happiness, because things will happen and you will probably be OK either way.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by aeschenkarnos at 3:00 PM on January 17, 2008

I think you can open the spreadsheet, select the column, hit "Format Cells", go down until you get to the "Custom" Category, type ten zeros into the box, click OK and it should put a leading zero on any nine-digit number you have in there.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:22 PM on January 16, 2008 marked best answer

Tabata My Job by Joshua Newman

"At its heart, Tabata is simple: eight brief intervals of very intense effort, separated by an equal number of even briefer intervals of rest. . . . . .ten minutes work, five minutes rest. Eight intervals, then, take exactly two hours. Here’s how it works: Take the eight tasks at the top of your to-do list. This is important. Don’t cherry-pick tasks, as it leaves the ones you don’t want to face floating on your list for weeks on end.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by tiburon at 7:24 AM on January 16, 2008

Former HH here. When a HH takes a candidate looking for a new opportunity and cold-calls that candidate into other companies (as opposed to throwing your resume after known openings), he's pitching you as a "Most Placeable Candidate," or MPC.

From this article:
A recruiter, being a professional consultant, spends the majority of their time researching, interviewing, meeting, and qualifying key players within their specialized industry or niche.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by peacecorn at 3:37 AM on January 15, 2008

The Museum of Science and Industry is a great place to spend a few hours, and it's free until the end of the month!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by borkencode at 2:58 PM on January 12, 2008

Check out the heat maps on HotPads. Gives you the range for the median rent by zips on the map. They have this for the entire country.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by CAnneDC at 9:05 AM on January 11, 2008

In Access, you need to create a relationship between your two tables linking pizza.pizzatoppings with toppings.id

For queries, (I'll assume you're just using design view) you need to select from both tables. You can leave out the ID fields, and just have the topping name in your result set.


This assumes a pizza will only have one topping, so that brings us to bonus question 1.
What you want to do is called a "Many to... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by utsutsu at 9:32 AM on January 11, 2008 marked best answer

Other People's Habits. Works with your own habits, too.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Coventry at 7:00 PM on January 9, 2008

Oh, sorry, you said you can already do the forms, you just want to make *reports*. You can easily do that part by building a connection to a simple Access database. The connection can be as simple as a linked table set up via the GUI or as complex as a bunch of hand-optimized SQL statements.

Access's wizards will then let you build simple reports very easily. And Access is part of the Office suite so they probably already have it.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bcwinters at 11:33 AM on January 9, 2008

Red Hot Pawn is an amusing name for a chess site.
Chess At Work is the same site, but with a quieter colour scheme, and a less funny name.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by pompomtom at 7:14 PM on January 7, 2008

Make sure you research any meds you're taking. Psychoactive meds are a delicate balance. A very cold, wet washcloth on the face helps a lot. Cold water on the face triggers the mammalian dive reflex, which fights panic attacks. Xanax is very helpful, on an as-needed basis only. Xanax can be put under the tongue for fastest action. IANAHCP(Health Care Professional)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by theora55 at 8:57 AM on January 5, 2008

I'm bad at interpersonal stuff, but I can tell you how to delete all unread mail in your inbox using gmail.

It's kind of convoluted. Sorry if these instructions are pedantic -- I'd rather bore with an answer that's too long than frustrate with one that's too short.

OK:Bring up just unread inbox contents. You can do this by searching for is:unread in:inboxVoila!Look under "Search results for is:unread in:inbox". The next line begins... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by amery at 7:57 PM on January 3, 2008

2007: The Year in Cats
posted to MetaFilter by homunculus at 1:30 PM on December 31, 2007

KeePass Password Safe for generating and storing secure passwords.
TrueCrypt for hard disk, and portable storage encryption.
TOR for anonymous browsing.
CopSSH for secure, tunneled remote desktop connections.
PortableApps.com for programs you can run off a USB key to reduce your footprint.
LiveCDs to make sure you're browsing in a safe environment.
Off The Record Messaging for encrypted instant messaging.
Voice... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by blue_beetle at 8:39 AM on December 28, 2007

A world map from 1507!
posted to MetaFilter by aeschenkarnos at 4:13 PM on December 27, 2007

Absolutely consider a used car, especially a used, but immaculately maintained european diesel car.

Example: A friend recently bought himself a gorgeous 1998 Mercedes E300 TurboDiesel for $5200.
He had to do about $2000 in work on it (new exhaust, brake pads, oil change), and probably (being the clean freak he is) spent few hundred or two on cleaning products, new floormats, etc. Still, he spent about 8 grand for a benz that gets 37mpg in around town driving.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by weaponsgradecarp at 12:47 PM on December 21, 2007

They adapt. It's like asking how will a really jumpy cat get on in a raucous household.. it'll be darn jumpy for quite a while but then it'll adapt to the environment.

The problem with people is that they don't tend to realize they adapt and will throw in the towel too early because they have the free will to do so. Given enough time, however, people will adapt to almost any partner or situation. Heck, J G Ballard even recalls his time in internment camp under the rule... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by wackybrit at 10:39 AM on December 16, 2007

Some links to cartogram software:

http://people.cas.sc.edu/hardistf/cartograms/
http://www.mapresso.com/index.html
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/cart/doc/
posted to Ask MetaFilter by ManInSuit at 12:20 AM on September 18, 2007

Urban Dharma
posted to MetaFilter by Huw at 12:27 PM on December 9, 2007

Buddhist Geeks
posted to MetaFilter by homunculus at 12:20 PM on December 9, 2007

Zen is Stupid is an excellent podcast.
posted to MetaFilter by Huw at 12:10 PM on December 9, 2007

I just don't have that strong an urge to protect myself. If I trust someone and they betray me it will hurt me deeply, but I don't want a life without that hurt. If I love someone and they reject me it will hurt me deeply, but I don't want a life without that hurt. I don't want a trust that is safe from that hurt; I don't want a love that is safe from that hurt.

The possible downsides of openness and trust, to me, cannot be separated from the benefits. You can... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by twirlypen at 6:03 PM on December 8, 2007