MetaFilter

One comment here from the OP who is not, I don't think, up for a debate here. Miko and Kittens for breakfast nailed it. I had a deeply cynical attitude about love apparently, which is not surprising since I grew up watching all the nonsense that Koeselitz detailed so vividly. All our parents and their fairytale loves that went so terribly awry because they were based on this passive state of grace that mysteriously descended upon you and that made everything – the fact that you had nothing in... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 6:48 AM on August 9, 2010

After I've been sarcastic and biting, it is difficult to make a straightforward statement, but here goes:

I was wrong, and I will simply avoid such threads in the future. Thanks for making it clearer to me that my response was not helpful, and actually against the rules. If I can't avoid a moral judgment then I am too close to the situation to help anyone, and simply look like an ass.

As without sarcasm as I can make it via text, I'm saying... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Invoke at 8:53 AM on August 8, 2010

Can we just stop this?

I mean, I am being criticized because I described my day.

For those of you who were at least trying to question me in good faith, I apologize. The real naked truth is I am not intellectually up to the challenge. I am who I am-I am not a college graduate, I do hold opinions but have not been rigorously trained to defend them, and my trying to communicate what I do think on this forum was a fool's errand.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:15 PM on August 1, 2010

As is often the case, the NYT article is interesting and often even insightful, but it sees things from a city perspective, and from the slightly cloistered viewpoint that imposes. The fact is that, as Faulkner would put it, by nature there is no "was," and this forgetting about the past, this forgetting of "youthful indiscretions," is not a natural human thing. Even in basically advanced human societies, everyone knew each other,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by koeselitz at 12:45 PM on July 25, 2010

First, can we get a little feedback and maybe some more information about what you like? At this point we're still sort of stabbing in the dark at things that are the least bit obscure and that might tickle your fancy based on some very broad limits. Some narrower limits would be helpful for pointing you toward some good stuff. You don't even have to be very technical with the terminology that you want to use - just give us the sense of what sounds you like, which instruments you prefer, what... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by greekphilosophy at 2:31 PM on July 19, 2010 marked best answer

A more serious problem is that people are not given complete arguments, just sound bytes, so they cannot be expected to make rational decisions.

This can be very important, as well. Of late I've been despairing at listening to news sources that are generally thought of as better ones as they cover current concerns, and realizing that what they are covering are not problems and issues, but politics. "Will the BP spill impact trust in Obama? Will... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Miko at 10:55 AM on July 12, 2010

One thing, xbeautychicx, that you might be aware of is that this community has an unfortunate tendency to view situations outside of their experience as "trolling." You know, "Oh, this cannot possibly be real. This must therefore be some elaborate hoax."

Some folks here, while I do not agree with their views, are so often regarded as trolls by others that I have come to believe that tendency to be a prime measure of how much an echo chamber a... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by adipocere at 2:40 PM on July 11, 2010

By the way, it's possible to create a mathematically rigorous version of "Can God create a rock He cannot lift?" which avoids all the easy outs. Instead of talking about rocks, you describe it in terms of set theory.

Define the universe set V to be all actions. (Note that this particular set is not vulnerable to Russell's Paradox; it is possible for it to be complete.) Within that we define two subsets G representing all the actions God is capable of, and G'... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Steven C. Den Beste at 4:26 PM on April 5, 2006

Here's a stab at answering this question for non-mathematicians (warning -- oversimplification ahead):

Mathematicians and philosophers are still arguing about the logical basis of what mathematics is. The basic process of mathematics is that you start by assuming a few basic fundamental truths. These are called axioms. These axioms often just amount to a definition of the concepts and symbols you are using. Then you use logic to derive new truths (theorems) from your... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by fuzz at 12:37 AM on January 23, 2004

I have a feeling you wouldn't tolerate this kind of behavior if your boyfriend was a bus driver. (And likewise he wouldn't be seen with you if you weren't easy on the eyes).

Let me break it down.

I think this situation of yours involves two insecure individuals looking for validation in a comically stereotypical way. You play the role of the smoking hot young armtoy, and he plays the role of the greedy yet powerful Older gent.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jnnla at 6:18 PM on July 10, 2010 marked best answer

1) Everything is just people. E.g., even as I write this, somewhere in Langely, Virginia, deep within the bowels of the CIA, there is a man, standing in front of a Coke machine, trying to unwrinkle a dollar bill. The most faceless, imposing and mysterious institutions can be broken down to a level where it's Just Some Dude.

2) Related: Do not attribute to malice what can be easily explained by incompetence, fear, ignorance or stupidity, because there are millions more... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Diablevert at 8:04 PM on July 10, 2010

Okay. I am an idiot and I've now wasted my weekly question. LEARN from my mistakes, children. Half an hour after I uploaded, and HD, high-resolution version of my video appeared. Previously, there was only a low-res copy. I didn't know that YouTube uploaded different versions, one by one.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by grumblebee at 3:28 PM on July 5, 2010

Citizen Kane was a stand-in for: "a corpus of movies made before I was born that a lot of my peers (many film school majors) feel to be high art and notable for their influence." I've seen enough of them to hold the opinion that they are dated and boring to actually watch. I don't doubt for a second my film-nerd friends get something out of classic films that I do not. I do not doubt the sincerity of their enjoyment for a second. As such, I'm not willing to make a principled stand... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by cj_ at 3:37 AM on July 1, 2010

If you're defensive you're trying to protect yourself from something. Figure out what that is first, and deal with it.

By way of example: a lot of learner drivers rev the car too high and drive too quickly when slipping through the gears (on a manual, this is). It turns out that they're scared of stalling, and are trying to defend against it.

One driver instructor friend deals with this by forcing them to drive right down to the stall point, so... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bonaldi at 5:12 AM on July 1, 2010

Also - the logic behind the tl;dr wasn't that a world without religion would be better or worse, but that there isn't really any realistic world possible in which human beings don't have religious impulses or the capacity or desire to be unreasonable. The niches where we get our "meaning" from could get a lot smaller and maybe more commercialized, or the impact of our unreason could be much more significant with technology in our hands, but that's about it as far as I can tell. It... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by mondaygreens at 3:56 PM on June 29, 2010

One interesting way of creating a story can be to start with some sort of basic question. A question that 'reverberates' in some way for you or with semi-developed ideas you already have in place. There's a nice French word for this sort of question: 'la problématique'. The issue that drives the narrative.

'What are people capable of doing under pressure?' (a common one and a bit vague)
'How does someone forgive their sister if she sleeps with their husband?... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by litleozy at 11:24 AM on June 29, 2010

I can't believe you seriously think that telling someone to stop reading the site for a huge portion of the day is more reasonable than people voluntarily (not as official moderator policy) putting the details about their ejaculation after, rather than in, the front-page intro paragraph.

I don't mean to be a pain here, but I see this as an odd American problem where we've somehow gotten used to the idea in our country that people talking about sex,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 9:45 AM on June 27, 2010

Then what was the problem? Why post this thread?

Sometimes, it's hard not to give in to the impulse to proclaim to the world how prudish you are, and that you don't care who knows it.
posted to MetaTalk by crunchland at 9:40 AM on June 27, 2010

Oh, and yea, he sort of got touchy there real fast, but he got piled on early by people telling him he was wrong. Ya can't back someone into a corner, indicate that you think they are stupid, and then get your feathers ruffled when they come back with something other than roses.
posted to MetaTalk by TomMelee at 9:36 AM on June 18, 2010

Splunge that second link did a number on my browser

Well, what did you expect from a Vampire Squid? Which, Splunge, I must submit was going to be my choice. I salute your insight and urge all to take a closer look at the weirdest in this world of the strange.
posted to MetaTalk by philip-random at 5:01 PM on June 17, 2010

Many many people like the Malcolm Gladwell approach to explaining things. Simple phenomenon that you've already noticed, explained with references to a few studies that are lookupable and explained if it's all very straightforward and you would see it the same way if you'd read and understood the same studies. I sometimes find him overly simplistic, but his style is very appealing and readable and people come away from his books feeling smarter and like they understand social phenomena better.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:32 PM on June 10, 2010

Ripping up Ravel.
posted to MetaFilter by unliteral at 9:11 PM on June 9, 2010

There is obviously a ton of very well thought of advice in this thread. I've seen a number of the strategies my husband and I have developed among them, so I can vouch for a lot of it. I just wanted to touch on one small point that stood out to me among the broader stuff.

In the 12 years we've been together, the only time I've ever really talked to my boyfriend/now husband like he was a child was over domestic chore stuff. Mostly because of our personalities and because... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mostlymartha at 12:20 PM on June 9, 2010

At first, I don't take it seriously because it seems like an easily-solved problem has been raised. Eventually it becomes clear that the argument is not actually about what was originally brought up, but 5 other little things ("your shoes are in the wrong place") and one big thing ("when are we getting married?"). Obviously marriage is the last thing on my mind in these instances.

I got a big insight into my arguing style with my... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by telophase at 12:12 PM on June 9, 2010 marked best answer

I think one reason dystopias often work for teens is that teens are often passionate moralists who tend to experience the world in extreme terms even if their lives aren't hellish. The easiest way to write about extreme emotion is to - the word I always end up using is 'metaphorise', which is truly horrible and if anybody knows an alternative please tell me and save me from it - but basically to render in metaphorical colours, not just the specific details of a particular... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Kit W at 12:18 PM on June 8, 2010

Ruthless-

I pretty well owe you an apology, I think. I think I got my ire up by your tone more than your words, or should I say my interpretation of your tone, what with the internet making tone difficult to discern at times.

I won't say I agree with you, but I did go back and dig through some of your other posts and I really do think you had/have? great intentions and in no way do I think I'm any better or more knowledgeable about the right... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by TomMelee at 11:33 AM on June 4, 2010

Man, the threads that get my hackles up are never the threads I suspect them to be.

I said before that I wasn't an educator, by trade. I have taught school. I said before that I wasn't an educator, but I cut my teeth in the social work field by managing a 100+ student afterschool program full of k-12's. I restrained in a school, I restrained in a youth home, and I restrained at a community center. Hell, once I restrained in a mall. I restrained kids so they wouldn't hurt... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by TomMelee at 7:44 AM on June 4, 2010

I'm a therapist, and the majority of the work I do is with girls in the K-12 range. Most of my clients tell me what's going on in their school lives, and most of it has to do with social relationships (younger kids, and especially-academically-focused kids love to talk about what they learned, but these kids don't tend to be the majority, or maybe they are but the rigidity of the school system burns that out of them right quick). A lot of parents react very sharply to their kids' social... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by so_gracefully at 10:45 AM on June 4, 2010 marked best answer

While waiting impatiently for the third book in the the Millennium Trilogy, I also went looking for similar books and stumbled across two great Icelandic series. The first books in each series are:

Jar City by Arnaldur, Indridason
Last Rituals: A Novel of Suspense by Yrsa, Sigurdardottir

If you want to stay in Sweden, I would also recommend Echoes of the Dead by Johan Theorin.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by earlygrrl at 7:33 AM on June 4, 2010 marked best answer

One of my films (The Wackness) is literally the example used by a studio for how much a film can be hurt by rampant online piracy.

I would love to see how the studio presents this and the math and facts behind it.

Comics are widely and wildly torrented; I've written one series, Dead Eyes Open, a zombie book that didn't do well at all and was torrented heavily. But I'd never say that the comic didn't do... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Shepherd at 9:47 AM on June 3, 2010

Some days I wake up and my heart just aches and my whole body hurts. I miss my parents, who were killed in front of my eyes. I don't sleep right if I sleep on one side, because my scapula was broken in the same shelling that killed my parents, and - lacking any access to real medical care - it wasn't set exactly right. I've got scars from two sniper "hits" and from shrapnel. I lost everything, and since I came to America it feels like I've never had much of a rest. I had to... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Dee Xtrovert at 3:43 PM on May 31, 2010

Wow, this is incredibly awesome. Any good painter knows how important "palette organization" is. When I first went to Art School, everyone in Painting 101 had the same problem, nobody knew how to mix colors, and everything tended to turn out an ugly middle brown. Our teachers had the stupid idea that they shouldn't actually instruct students in technique, or else their work would all end up looking exactly like their teachers. I had the same problem, so I usually applied paints... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by charlie don't surf at 8:14 AM on May 30, 2010

I'm pretty sure I've told this story here before, but the unreliability of memory was brought home vividly to me when I met the woman who is now my wife in Grand Central. This was the first time we'd met in person, and we'd both been looking forward to it, so it was definitely a memorable occasion. The very first time we reminisced about it, perhaps the next day but certainly no more then a couple of days later, we realized we remembered different places within the main hall: I visualized us... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by languagehat at 2:26 PM on May 28, 2010

Maybe they appropriated his fixed gear heritage, DU?

"Meh" to the hipsters. It's not about some collection of preferences being arbitrarily labeled as hip, at all. It's not being lacto-ovo-vegetarian, or messenger bags, or anything else. If there's one thing common to hipsters, it's that their involvement with things they enjoy comes in at a false, ironic level. Rather than true engagement, it's about an attitude that delivers a lot of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by adipocere at 4:49 AM on May 28, 2010

It's your third suggestion.

In these cases, try dropping one of the two people involved and building the sentence. Then try it, dropping the other one. You've now got two separate sentences you can merge: "That's my sister's favorite song" and "That's my favorite song." Plus (somewhat archaic) rules of politeness dictate that we put other people first and ourselves last, which gives you the word order.

There's a lot of... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by aqsakal at 12:14 AM on May 28, 2010 marked best answer

Yep. Forgot all about that.

I think this is just one of those things. You are seeing it not work, so you see evidence that it doesn't. I see the same evidence, but since the thing is working, the evidence doesn't convince me. I'm not saying you are doing it intentionally, necessarily, but given the choice between "yeah, OK, I'll take it" and "No. That ain't soap" your brain is saying no each time. Mine is saying yes. I am sure there are works that we... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dirtdirt at 10:05 AM on May 27, 2010

More generally: every field of human endeavor is vastly more amateurish, unplanned, seat-of-the-pants, chaotic, and crisis-driven than you might imagine from the outside.

I'm willing to accept atchafalaya's claim that the military isn't like this. But, for example, the White House is; national media organizations are; hospitals and other medical institutions are. Any sense of a highly professional plan being steadily implemented is almost always an illusion caused by... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by game warden to the events rhino at 8:09 AM on March 23, 2010

When one of the big mysteries happened on the series, like "Why can't women on the island give birth?" or "Why do the numbers keep appearing?" and those questions kept popping up, episode after episode (as opposed to just being in, say, a single scene), how did that affect you? ("You" being one of the people who aren't bothered by the lack of answers.)

For me this is a "have you stopped eating your boogers?"... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dirtdirt at 9:08 AM on May 26, 2010

When one of the big mysteries happened on the series, like "Why can't women on the island give birth?" or "Why do the numbers keep appearing?" and those questions kept popping up, episode after episode (as opposed to just being in, say, a single scene), how did that affect you? ("You" being one of the people who aren't bothered by the lack of answers.)

Here's how the show worked for me: I became very interested in the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by shakespeherian at 8:25 AM on May 26, 2010

My hopes rose with the introduction of Faraday and all the time travel stuff, because as a non-scientist whatever was completely non-plausible about it went completely over my head.

As someone who has studied a bit of science, here's a guide (not just applicable to Lost, but in general):

What's implausible about time travel as depicted in fiction, from a scientific viewpoint:
1. Time travel.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by DevilsAdvocate at 4:06 PM on May 25, 2010

There's an episode in an earlier season that I used to use as an example of the show's valuing of emotional manipulation over internally consistent storytelling. I used to use it as an example of what should bother me about the show, but that somehow the characters were so well developed and cast and acted, and the show was so pretty, and it manipulated me so effortlessly, that it was all kind of okay.

This was the episode where Daniel and Charlotte... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by neuromodulator at 7:16 PM on May 24, 2010

What pts and grumblebee said... I watched LOST since the beginning because I had faith it would at least be internally consistent, and I found it incredibly disappointing. Please realize I'm not even talking about "mysteries," because the disappointment with those not being explained is a whole other tiring diatribe. I'm talking about the show establishing something, then later it doesn't work with something else they established and later decided would be cool to connect to that... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Nattie at 5:28 PM on May 24, 2010

The only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. It is a basic human desire to have fun. Please do so. You will have plenty of time for dignity when you are your mom's age. Oh, and don't be your mom.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by netbros at 1:24 PM on October 1, 2009

Is this the thread where I come out to MetaFilter as transgender? I think it is.

*takes a deep breath*

Forgive me, but I'm about to do a brave, terrible, painful thing. But I doubt it'll hurt me any more than I've hurt myself over the years and the truth can only set me free. I am very fortunate to have a lot of friends here that already know this about me, and who support me.

I'm not even sure where to begin, so I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by loquacious at 11:57 AM on December 22, 2009

But are you saying you're not a fuck-up?

I am both a fuck-up and not a fuck up. That's why I hate reading about it. It's either a gut punch of sad familiarity or me yelling "Why? Why are you doing this GRAR GRAR GRAR".

The indie suggestion actually was a literal suggestion per your taste. Some indie stuff goes into here's some terrible shit I've done and we should all read about it, here's me doing it again and not... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by edbles at 1:43 PM on May 21, 2010

This is a classic case of Ask Culture meets Guess Culture.

In some families, you grow up with the expectation that it's OK to ask for anything at all, but you gotta realize you might get no for an answer. This is Ask Culture.

In Guess Culture, you avoid putting a request into words unless you're pretty sure the answer will be yes. Guess Culture depends on a tight net of shared expectations. A key skill is putting out delicate feelers. If you do... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by tangerine at 11:38 PM on January 16, 2007 marked best answer

Pope Guilty: “koeselitz, there is not even significant agreement within the greater community of religious believers about what religion is. Whose opinion should we take- yours? The evangelicals'? The Jains'? The Buddhists'? The Shintos'? The Muslims'? A survey of comparative religion professors?”

As far as I can tell, this isn't true. There is significant agreement about what religion is among the greater community... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by koeselitz at 11:39 AM on May 17, 2010

And while I'm at it, I want to talk about what Christianity means. Yes, this is particular to just one religion, but I think it's worth saying.

There's been a lot of scoffing about a big guy in the sky, or a miraculous dude with a mother who didn't have sex and who did this kind of happy come-back-to-life thing after getting strung up and tortured to death. Atheist don't often understand, I think, the sense of all this arbitrary stuff that seems to be a very, very silly... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by koeselitz at 10:48 PM on May 16, 2010

fleetmouse: “You can't ask religious people to put up or shut up because then you're an irrationally angry person with a weird dare.”

Asking anyone to put up or shut up is pretty damned unfair, and not in the spirit of true inquiry. It betrays a distinctly irrational passion about the subject.

fleetmouse: “If prayer isn't just a form of meditation that affects only the self, if... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by koeselitz at 10:11 PM on May 16, 2010

It's unnatural for an adult to be so out of step with the world that they assume that their own personal preferences must hold true for everyone else

The irony of this statement is astounding.
posted to MetaTalk by proj at 10:08 AM on May 6, 2010