White People Rapping Poorly

February 3, 2011 11:15 PM

White People Rapping Poorly is a tumblr blog that, in the words of the site's creator, collects a lot of videos of white people trying to rap and just failing miserably.

The blog proves that rapping poorly afflicts all kinds of white people, including computer geeks, oblivious white girls, Twilight fans, applicants to Tufts, Mormons, insufferable rich kids, famous people, and those who would like to be famous.

posted by chrchr (44 comments total)

Rapping poorly (or rapping well) afflicts all kinds of white people.
posted by killdevil at 11:20 PM on February 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

I just watched the most recent video posted and what I saw looked to be roughly 50/50 white and black people, all rapping poorly.
I conclude that this is most likely white people tumblring poorly.
posted by mannequito at 11:27 PM on February 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

I can't even watch these for more than the opening 5 or 10 seconds. It's awful, it gives me cramps in all my cringe zones. The worst are the Tufts videos. The best is Tom Hanks--he's at least putting some effort in and not holding back.
posted by Hoopo at 11:45 PM on February 3, 2011

It's not that white people rap badly. Probably your average black guy raps as badly as your average white guy. The problem is the large number of white people who rap badly and have no idea and have apparently never gotten any negative feedback from any of the people around them. What irritates is not their inability to rap but their shallow conception of what it is to rap. Rapping is more than just end-rhymes and saying "yo". It's like they've never actually listened to what they're imitating.
posted by creasy boy at 12:04 AM on February 4, 2011 [9 favorites]

As usual, one is wryly amused to consider how differently this thread is likely to go than one about a blog entitled, "Black People Skiing Poorly".
posted by Decani at 1:24 AM on February 4, 2011 [7 favorites]

My name's hincandenza and I'm here to say...
posted by hincandenza at 1:31 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

It's like they've never actually listened to what they're imitating.

Come on dude. That's impossible.
posted by phaedon at 1:43 AM on February 4, 2011

I was all ready to say "weak post"... but man, this is awesome. Video, dancing, out of time beats, lyrics... awesome.
posted by Hartham's Hugging Robots at 2:02 AM on February 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

As usual, one is wryly amused to consider how differently this thread is likely to go than one about a blog entitled, "Black People Skiing Poorly".

As usual, one is wearily unsurprised to find a comment that implies the world behaves exactly like first order logic.
posted by kmz at 2:03 AM on February 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

As usual, one is wryly amused to consider how differently this thread is likely to go than one about a blog entitled, "Black People Skiing Poorly".

Not sure how long my link to "Black People fighting in da Ghetto" would last.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:11 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Rapping poorly is hilarious no matter what race you are, and I wish this guy would open up the submissions to include the variety of terrible rapping available across the entire globe.

My roommate is Asian and I really want to submit a video of him freestyling.
posted by jnaps at 2:22 AM on February 4, 2011

I agree with jnaps, and creasy boy has an excellent point.

And you must watch the video HHR has linked.
posted by maxwelton at 2:41 AM on February 4, 2011

Thought about quoting Langston Hughes, thought better of it.
posted by DNye at 4:20 AM on February 4, 2011

Everything I know about rap, I learned from MTV (Canada) Live Freestyle Ambush (language NSFW).
posted by spoobnooble at 4:23 AM on February 4, 2011

As usual, one is wearily unsurprised to find a comment that implies the world behaves exactly like first order logic.
posted by kmz at 10:03 AM on February 4

Your irony meter, dear thing. It appears to require a new battery.
posted by Decani at 4:29 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

A hurf-durf Tumblr blog? I am excited by the possibilities represented by this bold foray into the unexpected.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 4:31 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

Not sure how long my link to "Black People fighting in da Ghetto" would last.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:11 AM on February 4

I'm just leaving this here because it is both appropriate to your comment and... well, stick with it. I guarantee this does not go where you might expect. Don't read the comments first. You'll spoil it for yourself if you do.
posted by Decani at 4:32 AM on February 4, 2011

I realise that I have only seen it as a result of this site, which is possibly the greatest threat to equality and social justice our world has yet faced, but this is awesome. The HVACR engineers are absolutely adorable.

And the American Society of Heating, Refrigeration and Air-conditioning Engineers has a gang sign.

On preview: this is AC gone mad, clearly.
posted by DNye at 4:36 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ahem. Correct link here. Although that link to Stew is also pretty great, and somewhat relevant to the derail, at least.
posted by DNye at 4:38 AM on February 4, 2011

Do not blaspheme the Dragnet movie, Tumblr blog dude. Seriously.

Sincerely,
-T.K. Mintcake (Esq., P.A.G.A.N.)
posted by mintcake! at 4:44 AM on February 4, 2011

Man, I miss screwball comedy Tom Hanks. Although I suppose that without the ever rolling stream of time we would not have Grosse Point Blank Dan Aykroyd. Or Crystal Head Vodka.
posted by DNye at 5:24 AM on February 4, 2011

How could they have missed this internet classic?

You can't top that!
posted by orme at 5:29 AM on February 4, 2011

Rapping is more than just end-rhymes and saying "yo". It's like they've never actually listened to what they're imitating.

Or maybe they're imitating Run DMC.
posted by Flunkie at 5:57 AM on February 4, 2011

insufferable rich kids

Holy hell. I want to release a torrent of snark and swearing at this, but I'm afraid I'd run out halfway through.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:02 AM on February 4, 2011

Also, Dee Dee Ramone.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:15 AM on February 4, 2011

"It's true! We're so lame."
posted by total warfare frown at 6:17 AM on February 4, 2011

Your irony meter, dear thing. It appears to require a new battery.

Ah, then you were saying that in fact there would be a huge qualitative difference in the two threads, and justifiably so? Then hey, we agree!
posted by kmz at 6:24 AM on February 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

The older I get, the more respect I have for people that try to express themselves and just put stuff out there, at the risk of being mocked.

The older I get, the less respect I have for people that sit back, mock, and never take the risk of putting anything out there.

Some of these guys are terrible, yes, but you know what? A year from now, if they're still at it, they'll be better at doing what they love. And this blogger? He won't be.
posted by Shepherd at 7:02 AM on February 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

That's very defeatist - if he or she can knuckle down and spend a year improving the zingers, tightening the repartee and working on the mix of videos, then in a year's time this blogger might be tight.
posted by DNye at 7:09 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fish in a barrel.
posted by spock at 7:35 AM on February 4, 2011

I was born with a rap impediment. Doctors say it can be managed with mega-doses of certain rare drugs, but that I'll never really be cured.

Support your local rap-charity. The life you save could be your own.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:39 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

In Japan, there's a there's a tumblr,
of white people wrapping poorly, yo.
posted by zippy at 7:53 AM on February 4, 2011

I'm not clicking on the link for exactly the same reason I don't put a recorder in the bathroom when I shower.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 7:58 AM on February 4, 2011

Jesus Christ. This makes me want terrorists to come save us.




/noitdoesnt jeez
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:24 AM on February 4, 2011

It's not that white people rap badly. Probably your average black guy raps as badly as your average white guy. The problem is the large number of white people who rap badly and have no idea and have apparently never gotten any negative feedback from any of the people around them.

Another problem is that many white people think the whole concept of them rapping is absurd and therefore hilarious and worth showing off. Which exoticizes Black culture and imposes a sense of danger, strength and rebellion on it, while defining mainstream White culture as safe, weak and boring in contrast.
posted by msalt at 8:50 AM on February 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

I was expecting not to like this but the videos on this site are all so amazing I don't even care about the lazy racial aspect of the name.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:03 AM on February 4, 2011

Nothing beats Kersal Massive.
posted by Xoebe at 9:16 AM on February 4, 2011

Sheperd, for the most part these people are not even attempting to rap well. They're attempting to parody rap music. To have the joke turned on them is justice. It's a good thing they're rapping because these people are tone deaf.

On the other hand, there are certainly videos on the site by people who do listen to rap and are sincerely trying to make music. The one XQUZPHYR linked is a good example. Just think of all the awesome exposure they're getting!
posted by chrchr at 9:16 AM on February 4, 2011

It's so cold in the D.
posted by rollbiz at 9:23 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Dammit, rollbiz - beat me to it.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:05 AM on February 4, 2011

That chap XQUZPHYR linked to may as a result of this exposure be the most famous and successful Libertarian rapper in the Onionated States.

What? Ununited? You're sure it isn't "onionated"? "Disunited", surely? No?
posted by DNye at 10:17 AM on February 4, 2011

Antidote: Lazy sunday, wake up in the late afternoon....
posted by cashman at 11:03 AM on February 4, 2011

I blame Debbie Harry.
posted by cazoo at 6:03 PM on February 4, 2011

Only a masochist can view this stuff
posted by boogiefunk at 11:30 PM on February 4, 2011