Join 3,441 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Sporthocker
February 4, 2011 9:59 AM   Subscribe

Sporthocker: A new sport is born?
posted by GuyZero (43 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Extreme sitting
posted by 2bucksplus at 10:01 AM on February 4, 2011 [8 favorites]


You could flatten it out a bit, put some wheels on one side ...
posted by user92371 at 10:03 AM on February 4, 2011


The video with the "fixie skateboards" was funnier.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 10:04 AM on February 4, 2011


Hock and Roll? Hoax and roll more like.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:04 AM on February 4, 2011


Without editorializing too much, my personal opinion is that we're being trolled.
posted by GuyZero at 10:04 AM on February 4, 2011


So what is this a commercial for? Shoes? Jeans? What?
posted by NoMich at 10:04 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


If it had a cupholder and an ashtray, I'd be in
posted by rtimmel at 10:06 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


Summary of what is to come in this thread for anyone who's pressed for time:

This is funny and/or stupid.
posted by rusty at 10:06 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]


"...here on ESPN 8, The Ocho. Bringing you the finest in seldom-seen sports from around the globe since 1999. If it's almost a sport, we've got it here."
posted by mhoye at 10:11 AM on February 4, 2011 [4 favorites]


The founder guy on the right looks like he was without sleep for 36 hours straight with no money-making ideas coming and he just said fuck it, lets pretend this stool is a toy.
posted by cashman at 10:11 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


Thank god it wasn't a sport to do with hocking a loogie. *phew

Smaller with strings would be much more fun to watch.

The gizmo reminded me of a West African stool.
posted by nickyskye at 10:13 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


If the kids insist upon sitting on my lawn, I suppose this will at least keep grass stains off their trousers.
posted by ardgedee at 10:17 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


Have you seen this page? This is either the fakest fakety-fake sports-related thing ever, or it's German advertising.
posted by chavenet at 10:18 AM on February 4, 2011


So, at first I was like these are some dumb hipsters, but they're just European. So, not dumb, just foreign.
posted by oddman at 10:19 AM on February 4, 2011


Whatever, dude. When I was a kid we used to do tricks like that with effing conference tables because we couldn't afford stools.
posted by The World Famous at 10:19 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]


Haters gonna hate.

This is fucking awesome. I would love to have one of these and try this. What the hell, it looks like fun.

Hoax? Of course, but that doesn't make it any less impressive. Switch foot fakie to half cab sïttënschprökën? Badass.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:23 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sidehackers!
posted by gurple at 10:26 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hoax? Of course

What do you mean "hoax?" They clearly are actually doing the stunts with the stool. It's not CGI.
posted by The World Famous at 10:27 AM on February 4, 2011


What do you mean "hoax"?

I mean I don't think they're trying to launch a new sport. I do believe they're actually doing the tricks with the stool. I would love a stool of my own to practice, because this is what I do with every sport out there. I see it, I try it once, and then I launch into it and blow my savings on buying the gear, and then I abandon it a couple of years later. At least with this it seems that the stools will last quite a while and should be pretty cheap.

Would have picked up my Kink Gap XL yesterday but the bike shop didn't have it assembled yet, because the power was out and their warehouse had no heat. Not like I could ride today anyway. But I can't wait until tomorrow.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:31 AM on February 4, 2011


Hocksi Blue!
posted by slater at 10:36 AM on February 4, 2011


From unusual toilets to the Sporthocker, Germany remains focused on the perfect stool.
posted by zippy at 10:46 AM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm getting disgusting visions of a sportpotty sport.
posted by okokok at 11:03 AM on February 4, 2011


It's Like Juggling For Your AssTM
posted by cortex at 11:12 AM on February 4, 2011 [5 favorites]


They play this in furlqump, right?
posted by Splunge at 11:24 AM on February 4, 2011


Germans.
Always Funny.
('cept for that one guy...)
posted by djrock3k at 11:33 AM on February 4, 2011


It ain't shirling.
posted by Hoopo at 11:43 AM on February 4, 2011 [2 favorites]


They seem desperate to invent a new sport. Get these kids skateboards.
posted by stp123 at 12:11 PM on February 4, 2011


Sport: (spôrt, spōrt) n.
1. Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively. (Rules or customs? I don't see any)
2. An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively. (Again, no governing rules or customs)
3. An active pastime; recreation. (That's more like it)

"Sporthocker" - more than just a product, it's a passtime!!!
posted by filthy light thief at 12:20 PM on February 4, 2011


It's got the faddish pointlessness of devil sticks, combined with the potential for self injury of a skateboard! This will be the Razor Scooter craze of the modern day!
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:32 PM on February 4, 2011


Is it bad that I sort of want one?
posted by hellphish at 12:48 PM on February 4, 2011


Do the inventors feel that other pastimes do not offer enough ways for one to tear one's scrotum?
posted by palacewalls at 12:52 PM on February 4, 2011


This has put me into hysterics. I love this so much.
posted by Kloryne at 1:01 PM on February 4, 2011


If sport stacking is real, I don't see why this can't be.
posted by TedW at 1:03 PM on February 4, 2011


Yeah I don't see how it's a hoax or advertising for anything other than some sturdy stools. Their website is quite complete, with a webstore that actually sells these hockers as well as clothing and accessories.

Have you seen this page? This is either the fakest fakety-fake sports-related thing ever, or it's German advertising.

That's all the other products who are nominated for the ISPO BrandNew Awards. That this product was nominated for an award should also tell you something about whether it's a hoax or not.
posted by Authorized User at 1:34 PM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ah yes, competitive sitting. That is where I am a viking!
posted by CautionToTheWind at 2:07 PM on February 4, 2011


Make it bounce up and down and you've got yourself a spacehocker. Fuck, I just invented a new sport!
posted by afx237vi at 2:42 PM on February 4, 2011


I was all ready to say this is lame, but the tricks at the end of the video changed my mind. Some of those are actually pretty badass.
posted by lazaruslong at 3:17 PM on February 4, 2011


What gets me is that even the trick sequences tat could be considered cool end with the person sitting down on the damn thing. No matter how rad you are, the ending is always kinda dull.
posted by GuyZero at 3:29 PM on February 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


If I tried some of that rooftop parkour you'd better believe there'd be a stool. Not a specially designed stool, but it would be extruded to order so to speak.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:31 PM on February 4, 2011


All I could think about watching this video was how intensely painful failing to sit properly would be for most of these tricks would be. If they have to use a cup, that makes it way more of a sport, right?
posted by heresiarch at 5:12 PM on February 4, 2011


If it ain't squirrel-suit para-hocking, it ain't shit
posted by facetious at 5:36 PM on February 4, 2011


Note that all this video is apparently from Berlin.

Note also: This explains EVERYTHING.
posted by effugas at 6:28 PM on February 4, 2011


STOOL BOOM!
posted by es_de_bah at 8:48 AM on February 6, 2011


« Older Have you heard about the floating world of furlqum...  |  For Black History Month, Craig... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments