Human and pinniped hybrid

February 11, 2011 4:35 PM

Drunk Norwegian pretends he's a seal (SLYT)
posted by Confess, Fletch (96 comments total)

Oh. Oh my lord. Everybody, watch this. The man is cr-azy!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 4:40 PM on February 11, 2011

The whole time I was thinking "please don't let your stomach stick to the ice, and please don't die"
posted by 2bucksplus at 4:41 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I... I don't really know what to say. Other than that makes me want to move to Norway with every fiber of my being.
posted by kbanas at 4:41 PM on February 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Dear god. That water must be COLD. I feel my gonads retreating just watching this.

Although I'm all for videos showing stubbly-faced nearly naked men doing things in the outdoors. Let's have more of those.
posted by hippybear at 4:41 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also, the moment he leapt into the water I actually inhaled sharply at my desk. Shit has to be cold. I mean, cold.

But I guess vodka is warm.
posted by kbanas at 4:42 PM on February 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

In this new BBC series, David Attenborough explores some of the lesser known victims of climate change.
posted by special-k at 4:43 PM on February 11, 2011 [6 favorites]

Awesome!
posted by OmieWise at 4:50 PM on February 11, 2011

Fuck all kinds of that shit!
posted by MaryDellamorte at 4:56 PM on February 11, 2011 [6 favorites]

Now there's global warming for you right there. Right to that edge.
posted by Namlit at 4:56 PM on February 11, 2011

Yup, awesome.
posted by Divine_Wino at 4:57 PM on February 11, 2011

For some reason I thought this said: "Drunk Norwegian president pretends he's a seal"
I watched the video and was very impressed
posted by niccolo at 4:58 PM on February 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

I gasped so hard that I almost inhaled my monitor, but my favorite part was when he crawled into the wormhole.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 4:59 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

When he went into the wormhole I was giving him a 50/50 chance.
posted by poe at 5:08 PM on February 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

Same guy, but discharging a gun and revving a chainsaw.

Oh, and drives Volvo.
posted by asymptotic at 5:12 PM on February 11, 2011

I was expecting more "Arrk! Arrk!" and flolloping, but this is pretty good.
posted by The otter lady at 5:15 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I had to post again. can anyone even come close to describing what is going through this man's head?. This is really freaking awesome, hahah I love it.
posted by asymptotic at 5:16 PM on February 11, 2011

The dives were quite graceful.
posted by Bovine Love at 5:17 PM on February 11, 2011

That guy's an idiot.
posted by valkyryn at 5:19 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

funny youtube exchange:

dude1: shit not even chuck norris can do that
dude2: your wrong chuck norris is the reason the ice does not break under his feet
posted by jmccw at 5:20 PM on February 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

insane. Also, at first seal dive I was comforted by the fact that there was someone else with him there. But it became clear he was the only one around. Crazy!
posted by milestogo at 5:37 PM on February 11, 2011

can anyone even come close to describing what is going through this man's head?

Oh, I'd say a BAC of at least 0.24.



Seriously. Liquid long johns.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:41 PM on February 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

This is the intersecting portion of the Venn diagram of "things you should never do drunk" and "things you would never do sober".
posted by NoraReed at 5:41 PM on February 11, 2011 [24 favorites]

OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN???
posted by molecicco at 5:43 PM on February 11, 2011

Yep. You would indeed have to be both drunk and Norwegian for this.
posted by sonika at 5:44 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

While I know the general Mefi opinion of such things and I do not wish to perpetuate any kind of crass culture or consider myself crude and boorish and I do not wish people to think ill of me or offend anyone in anyway but:

Dear god I'd hit that so hard I'd go blind.
posted by The Whelk at 5:46 PM on February 11, 2011 [14 favorites]

There's something a little unhinged about that. Particularly when you consider how hard it must be to swim effectively with ice skates on. How did he know he could get enough thrust with ice skates on to swim to the edge of the ice reliably?

That'd be buttock clenchingly nerve wracking for me even without the whole freezing to death angle.
posted by Brockles at 5:49 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Great, there's an anxiety I didn't even know I had. Thanks.
posted by Bookhouse at 5:51 PM on February 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

See? Winter can be fun, too.
posted by ddaavviidd at 5:51 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Subscribed
posted by pilibeen at 5:53 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ice water shrinks your brains, or something. Huhhh.
posted by Namlit at 6:02 PM on February 11, 2011

Subscribed.

Oh my god, who is this man?
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 6:05 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Dude ain't right.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 6:08 PM on February 11, 2011

So...should I try this at home?
posted by uosuaq at 6:10 PM on February 11, 2011

What's going through this guy's head FWIW.
posted by fnerg at 6:10 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I too have often thought: "Here I am, sitting outside, resplendent on a sofa in among the beauty of nature, but it's cold... how can I fix that? How can I make it warm?" Now I know.
posted by Kattullus at 6:10 PM on February 11, 2011

Shallow pond.
posted by R. Mutt at 6:15 PM on February 11, 2011

OK, I'm not supposed to say this, but I often have this thought, and I admit it's terrifically gender-biased and will stir up anger and such, and I'm sure if one were to break it down I'd be embarrassingly behind the times on the latest extreme crazy shit that women do, but. Wow. Boys. Are. Nuts.
posted by thinkpiece at 6:15 PM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah, they've finally developed a human cat.
posted by Namlit at 6:28 PM on February 11, 2011

Fy fan vad kallt! This man does all the things your parents warned you about, and looks stylishly interesting doing it, somehow. And man do I miss ice skating on clear black ice like that...
posted by gemmy at 6:35 PM on February 11, 2011

Isn't that supposed to kill you? Like: I'm not trying to be funny. I'm a lifelong Floridian with limited exposure to snow and icy climates. And I'm seriously asking: isn't that shit supposed to kill you.
posted by penduluum at 6:40 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wow, so this is what it looks like to grab life by the balls.
posted by kilo hertz at 6:46 PM on February 11, 2011

I'll admit to sighing with relief when he resurfaced after diving into the hole. Although I don't imagine they'd be peddling some sort of sealman snuff film, it made me very nervous all the same.
In conclusion, I have never drunk enough to think that swimming with skates on in icy waters was a good idea, or even lulzworthy, until now.
(also, spellcheck, where did you learn lulzworthy?)
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:48 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I reacted to this video by going, "Holy shit! People DIE from this where I'm from".*

My Norwegian girlfriend reacted to this video by saying "Ah, I miss Norway".

They're all clearly insane.

* See here [time stamped, make sure you watch at least 10 seconds] for some totally insane behaviour, if you're not Norwegian anyway.
posted by knapah at 6:56 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hmm, the time-stamped link doesn't work in the MeFi player, you have to click through to YouTube. The important part is the ten seconds after 1m30s.
posted by knapah at 6:57 PM on February 11, 2011

Makes me proud to be a square-head.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 6:58 PM on February 11, 2011

I was expecting more "Arrk! Arrk!" and flolloping, but this is pretty good.
posted by The otter lady

The otter lady stamp of approval! Three smelt for you!
posted by small_ruminant at 7:04 PM on February 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

They're no dummies (for some definitions of dummy anyway). Notice the dowels on the string around the neck? Both guys had em. You can get out of the water up onto the ice with those picks.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 7:09 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

* See here [time stamped, make sure you watch at least 10 seconds] for some totally insane behaviour, if you're not Norwegian anyway.

See, that's what I'm talking about! Do Norwegians have some kind of extra subdermal fat layer like orcas? Is the freezing point of water actually several degrees warmer within their national borders? How is that guy not only not dead, but seemingly feeling great? It's against nature, I tell you!
posted by penduluum at 7:34 PM on February 11, 2011

Wow, so this is what it looks like to grab life by the balls.

Grabbed me by the balls. Then dragged them into the water with him.

Balls I was unaware I had up until I saw that.

But now, ow, said balls.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:42 PM on February 11, 2011

Dude clearly loves where he lives. Trust me, you want to watch it all the way to the end.
posted by Runes at 7:45 PM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

This is exactly what I imagine everyone in Norway to be like.
posted by stp123 at 7:46 PM on February 11, 2011

Do women know about shrinkage?
posted by jcworth at 7:48 PM on February 11, 2011

What. Why would you... what. I don't.... no. No this is not what you do. You don't.... this is not... no. Maybe the water is only 3' deep. Then...erm....no still no.

I mean, diving into snowdrifts for beer thrown into them (standard winter hot tubbing procedure, then back into the hot tub), sure, that's ok, you won't drown, we all do that, but this is just...no the ice will mean that it's super cold and all the vodka in the world might not help you if your skate edge gets stuck in something like reeds or whatnot or wtf is going on there that looks really cold and just no.
posted by Salmonberry at 7:50 PM on February 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Norway fucking rocks.
And I love the whole weird dichotomy of skating up to the edge of ice and then diving into water.
Seems so wrong and incongruous but so perfectly natural in this video. Awesome.
posted by chococat at 8:00 PM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Doesn't alcohol actually contribute to hypothermia? Even though it makes you feel warmer? Or was that just bullshit they fed us in health class.
posted by kmz at 8:32 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Can I pretend to club him?
posted by KingEdRa at 8:48 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I want to live there.

But I do not want to do this when I am there.
posted by Scattercat at 8:48 PM on February 11, 2011

In another environment, this is a guy who drinks four loco and slams his head into a Hardee's window. Also, I love him.
posted by CNNInternational at 8:58 PM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Given that I just happen to be, oh, three-fourths through a bottle of very nice Chianti at the time of watching this, and that it happens to be insanely cold here in Texas (and by insanely cold here in Texas I mean 3 degrees (and by 3 degrees I mean 3 hundredths of the difference between the freezing and boiling points of water above the freezing point of water)), this kind of makes me want to go outside.

I think I'll go outside.

I ain't jumping in no damn water though. Not even after three-fourths of a bottle of very nice Chianti. Maybe it doesn't work without vodka. I probably shouldn't comment under the influence.
posted by Xezlec at 9:12 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Dude clearly loves where he lives. Trust me, you want to watch it all the way to the end.
That was great!

Either this guy is a nut or he is a brilliant artist who has found happiness in nature and in living. Pure joy!
posted by bitteroldman at 9:19 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'll pick my jaw up off the ground now.
posted by Xoebe at 9:30 PM on February 11, 2011

More incredible Norwegian scenery from the same guy here.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 9:47 PM on February 11, 2011

Isn't that supposed to kill you? Like: I'm not trying to be funny. I'm a lifelong Floridian with limited exposure to snow and icy climates. And I'm seriously asking: isn't that shit supposed to kill you.

No.

Google "Polar Plunge" to see video of thousands of people diving into icy water to raise money for Special Olympics.

Swimming in icy water is A Thing. Also, the L Street Brownies.

Of course, Norwegians have more practice.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:48 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

That looks dangerous but he is Norwegian so he must know what he is doing.
posted by Iron Rat at 9:48 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ok so now I am a little bit obsessed. Here he talks about ice swimming and getting millions of YouTube hits (sb.no)
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 10:21 PM on February 11, 2011

Scientists need to capture this man, and study him.
posted by Flashman at 10:27 PM on February 11, 2011

Ok. Now I want to move to Norway. Do you think he would teach me to ice-ski?
posted by grapesaresour at 10:36 PM on February 11, 2011

I think the alcohol is a prop, and this is actually a training video for Norway's special forces half-naked arctic frogmen program.

(Well, maybe not, but I bet he's ex-special forces)
posted by zippy at 10:56 PM on February 11, 2011

Hm. Weather must have been a bit too cold when he tried, here:  ^O_||||^O
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 11:08 PM on February 11, 2011

He's Tor Eckhoff, Facebook, Twitter.

The world's most extreme sport is "Drinking with norwegians" - truly terrifying. Wonderful people.
posted by quarsan at 11:37 PM on February 11, 2011

Okay, that's a little bit more Norwegian than I would ever want to be. (But yes, I am wonderful people.)
posted by Dumsnill at 11:56 PM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

The world's most extreme sport is "Drinking with norwegians" - truly terrifying. Wonderful people.

Very open, very tolerant, caring, relatively non-neurotic no bullshit people. Their relationship to nature is symbiotic and unique in it's respect and love of it. It's very native American in completely modern way.

At any rate, having partaken in above referenced "most extreme sport," I can vouch that it is quite the experience and must be the reason I'm just not that upset or freaked out by this guys insane adventures on the ice. Not much to do up there in the couple of hours of precious daylight you get during the winter. Might as well go a little crazy and retain your sanity.

Other than that it's a bit worrying these actions don't scare me at all.

(I mostly wanted to know what kind of Vodka he was drinking, because obviously that shit gives you super powers.)
posted by Skygazer at 2:20 AM on February 12, 2011

I mostly wanted to know what kind of Vodka he was drinking

Vikingfjord
posted by Dumsnill at 2:39 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

And we know he's drunk, how?

I've dived into ice-covered water. I wasn't drunk.
posted by Decani at 3:01 AM on February 12, 2011

We know he's drunk because he's Norwegian. The rest of you can be sober if you want.
posted by Dumsnill at 3:04 AM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

I think this is the first "extreme sport" type video that has left me desperately wanting to do that. Hang gliding? Bungee jumping? Not so much. But ice-skate diving? Sign me up! He definitely found a good spot for it - the ice is pretty thick right up to the boundary of the water (though maybe ocean ice just does that? I don't know). Oh it looks so cold and beautiful and fun!
posted by fermezporte at 5:05 AM on February 12, 2011

I'm in love.
posted by Surfurrus at 5:33 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Bear Grylls: "You'll survive longer naked."
posted by bwg at 5:51 AM on February 12, 2011

The few times I've jumped into extremely cold water (wasn't quite freezing, maybe low 40s...) the part I had the most difficulty with was breathing. It always takes me a minute to regain my composure and remember to breathe, and then figure out how. Things start out with short, really quick, almost hyperventilating-style breaths.

I've found that once I get the breathing sorted I can go just fine for another minute or so before the temperature starts to get to me.
posted by fore at 6:01 AM on February 12, 2011

Man his videos makes me so very much miss the vast empty spaces of NF, where I did most of my growing up. Those places, alone, makes you feel very very different, a different view of the world. And maybe will make you a little crazy (even after only a few hours), but it is a very relaxing, cleansing kind of crazy. Now I have to go find the hardest, worse local hikes just to find some empty place that only a few people might show up; then I could do it with a short drive, and be totally alone all day.

On other notes, if you haven't dealt with ice water, it really really hurts. This guy has awesome self-control (and a lot of practice I expect)
posted by Bovine Love at 6:28 AM on February 12, 2011

Canada has it's own version of that crazy Norwegian, see the amazing Canadian Ice Fishermen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x768VAsOQSw
posted by Runcible Spoon at 6:35 AM on February 12, 2011

I'm pretty sure that he isn't actually drunk at all (maybe has water in his Vodka bottle, or otherwise doesn't drink much of it). You can only pull off these stunts and live to tell the tale if you're extremely meticulous in your training and your preparations. The slapdash touch is part of the vid's editing, and I assume that the vodka bit belongs to the latter.

[Point of comparison: you don't think that this Swedish dude from this thread actually eats all that ketchup, right?]
posted by Namlit at 7:00 AM on February 12, 2011

Damn amateurs, giving us a bad name. 8/10 for enthusiasm though.
posted by arcticseal at 7:37 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Well, as a data point, my Norwegian 70 year old aunt and another old lady friend swim in Oslofjord until the ice makes it impossible. Naked. Like three times a week.

So yeah, y'alls are wussy. (And so am I.)
posted by RedEmma at 8:06 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

P.S. They do it stone sober.
posted by RedEmma at 8:07 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ice swimming is a pretty common thing here in Finland. It's considered to be very good for your health. In my mind the typical ice swimmer would be a health-concious middle aged woman or an older man. So it's really not an extreme sport, at least not here.

Though I have to admit that the way this dude does it is pretty extreme. The thought of skating into water terrifies me much more than the cold. How did he know he would not sink like a stone the first time he tried it?
posted by severiina at 8:37 AM on February 12, 2011

Metafilter you promised, Metafilter you delivered. Drunk Norwegian pretends he's a seal, indeed.
posted by inkytea at 9:36 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wow! That looks like it could have been shot on the bay I grew up around. We're probably close to the same latitude. I don't know if I've ever seen ice like that, though.
posted by ODiV at 10:18 AM on February 12, 2011

As a Norwegian, let me just start off by saying: Crazy. He did edit that together and frame it in such a way as to make it seem like an off-the-wall thing to do; ice bathing is, as mentioned above, something people do for a variety of reasons -- though without the ice skates and vodka.

And on a tangent: isn't Vikingfjord the most Norwegianest name for a vodka ever? Vikings and fjords, indeed. Slap an "Amundsen brand" sticker and a picture of the Northern Lights on it (but hold the Quisling), and it would be perfect.
posted by flippant at 11:11 AM on February 12, 2011

Come now, we've all done things like this after a Marston's Pedigree too many.
posted by dougrayrankin at 2:06 PM on February 12, 2011

This made me think of a New yorker piece by Lynne Cox about swimming significant distances in extremely cold water: a mile in the antarctic and a quater of a mile in the arctic where the water is even colder

They suggested that I cross Church Bay, where I could swim in clean water and finish near the town center. It was a distance of just under a quarter of a mile. Then Karen asked, “When you swim, will you be wearing a wetsuit or a dry suit?”

“I’ll be wearing a swimsuit—a TYR Lycra swimsuit,” I replied.

It took a moment for my answer to register. Karen drew in a quick breath and said, “Are you crazy? Do you know how cold that water is?”

I thought she’d understood what we were doing.

“From the research I’ve done, the water temperature could be between 28.8 and thirty-four degrees,” I said.

I don't think that Lynne Cox does the skates/vodka/seal noises/YouTube thing though—maybe she should consider it (or maybe those are the "Boys. Are. Nuts." things that sensible women avoid).
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 2:48 PM on February 12, 2011

I'm in love
posted by zia at 3:13 PM on February 12, 2011

Oh god, Norwegian men are so badass.
posted by dabitch at 3:14 PM on February 12, 2011

I watched the first 90% of this and thought, "How do they know he's drun....?" Oh. That. Damn.
posted by msali at 2:45 PM on February 13, 2011

As a Norwegian, let me just start off by saying: Crazy.
Posted by: flippant

Eponysterical!
posted by msali at 2:46 PM on February 13, 2011

I think it's caused by living too close to the north poll. All that magnetic flux and high energy protons, hitting you in the head all the time, leaves its mark.
posted by Goofyy at 10:13 PM on February 13, 2011 [2 favorites]