The Bio-Physics of Limbaugh

March 3, 2011 4:06 PM

"I was intrigued by your recent expression of the interest in the 'actual weight' of the outlandish pumpkin head of the total A-hole, R. Limbaugh. By grand good chance, a friend of mine is a professor in bio-physics here at the university, and, with some sophisticated instruments, and his professorial savvy, he was able to take the measurements necessary for the calculations directly off the video screen."
posted by Scoop (37 comments total)

I have all kinds of respect and admiration for Terry Southern. However, wouldn't the presence of nothing but hot air in the place of a brain make Limbaugh's head a lot lighter?
posted by The World Famous at 4:10 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

The hot air is at extreme pressure and therefore very, very dense. Supercritical, even.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:11 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

I really hope he used my method of calculating the weight of a human head.
posted by dersins at 4:12 PM on March 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

The actual weight can't be calculated, as we are clearly dealing with an object of immeasurable density.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:14 PM on March 3, 2011 [19 favorites]

The only true way to measure Rush Limbaugh's head obviously is to chop it off.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 4:16 PM on March 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson

Yay! Welcome back!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:19 PM on March 3, 2011 [6 favorites]

Echo chamber activate!
posted by oncogenesis at 4:20 PM on March 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

Thanks! Although I now see to my shame that mr_roboto beat me to the punchline. Don't know why I ever pause to spellcheck.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:21 PM on March 3, 2011

The only true way to measure Rush Limbaugh's head obviously is to chop it off.

Beat me to it by 3 mins!

Anyhow, I once was thrown off a Right winger blog for suggesting that Limbaugh would be sent to the guillotine, when the time was tight. I was being metaphorical and hyperbolic, but the mod said I was advocating unacceptable violence. This on a site that reveled in all manner of un-discrete knuckle-dragger fantasies of "2nd amendment solutions" for certain high profile Dems. True story.
posted by Skygazer at 4:23 PM on March 3, 2011

the time was tight right...
posted by Skygazer at 4:25 PM on March 3, 2011

The only true way to measure Rush Limbaugh's head obviously is to chop it off.

Why does the phrase "hot knife through butter" come to mind?
posted by device55 at 4:25 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Echo chamber activate!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:26 PM on March 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

oncogenesis: Echo chamber activate!

Echo chamber shape of a bird!! Activate!
posted by Skygazer at 4:27 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Now, if Rush's head were veal, which I know it is not, if Rush's head were veal, how much would it be worth?
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:29 PM on March 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

Oh come on! You guys are interested in a large head, when there's an orange creature who strangely weeps at the most minor provocation in our House of Representatives?
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:31 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Calling Limbaugh's noggin' an "outlandish pumpkin head" is an insult to outlandish pumpkin heads everywhere.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:34 PM on March 3, 2011

Did they account for the one lobe tied behind his back?
posted by Kloryne at 4:37 PM on March 3, 2011

It's filled with cement, people.

Fucking scientists.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:40 PM on March 3, 2011

Which weighs more: A BOMB...OR A HEAD?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:42 PM on March 3, 2011

That's an insult to cement everywhere!
posted by annsunny at 4:52 PM on March 3, 2011

The density has an upper bound, as light can be seen reflecting off the object's surface.
posted by zippy at 5:08 PM on March 3, 2011

Mister Fabulous: "The only true way to measure Rush Limbaugh's head obviously is to chop it off."

PAGING AXE COP
posted by mkb at 5:23 PM on March 3, 2011

PAGING AXE COP

Wait. Axe Cop has a pager? That's. So. Bad. Ass.
posted by The World Famous at 5:24 PM on March 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

"I once was thrown off a Right winger blog for suggesting that Limbaugh would be sent to the guillotine, when the time was tight. I was being metaphorical and hyperbolic, but the mod said I was advocating unacceptable violence. "

"To guillotine" is an irregular verb commonly used in ideological mudslinging contests:

"I am metaphorical"
"You are hyperbolic"
"He is advocating unacceptable violence"
posted by storybored at 5:28 PM on March 3, 2011 [4 favorites]

when the time was tight

Oh. I thought this made perfect sense. If you had lots of time, you'd want a slower, more torturous method, but if time's a little tight, the guillotine would do ....
posted by webmutant at 6:12 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

My God, it's full of . . . rocks!
posted by KingEdRa at 6:12 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

".. but I never crucified little Biko, that was them junior-high-school psychos, Stinky Bowhoon and his friend with the pumpkin-sized head!"
posted by cmyk at 6:36 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

You guys are interested in a large head, when there's an orange creature who strangely weeps at the most minor provocation in our House of Representatives?

It's unfair to blame the entire Oompa-Loompa race for the emotional and moral flaws of John Boehner.
posted by steambadger at 6:39 PM on March 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

Hey Beavis...he's fat.

uh-uh-huh-huh-uh-huh.

yeah, yeah...fat. look at how he's fat.

uh-huh-uh-huh-huh...
posted by hal_c_on at 7:07 PM on March 3, 2011

WE DISAGREE WITH THIS MAN BUT IT IT EASIER TO MAKE FUN OF HIS APPEARANCE
posted by jtron at 7:33 PM on March 3, 2011

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson

Holy shit, welcome back!
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 7:41 PM on March 3, 2011

WE DISAGREE WITH THIS MAN BUT IT IT EASIER TO MAKE FUN OF HIS APPEARANCE

I see it more as "IT IS EMOTIONALLY SATISFYING TO SAY MEAN THINGS ABOUT BAD PEOPLE"
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:03 PM on March 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

Huh, this reminds me of the time the International Federation of Competitive Eating wanted to weigh David Hasselhoff's head so that they could make sure it was the same size as someone's hamburger:

January 14, 2006 -- DAVID Hasselhoff is having a rough week. The "Baywatch" star, 53, just announced he's divorcing his wife of 16 years, Pamela. But the sad state of his personal life hasn't dissuaded Richard Shea, president of the International Federation of Competitive Eating, from demanding to know the exact weight of Hasselhoff's head. "As president of the IFOCE, I hope to secure the information prior to the Jan. 21 Big Daddy Burger Contest, which features a nine-pound hamburger purported to be larger than Hasselhoff's head," Shea writes. "Last year, at the Plaza Hotel & Casino burger-eating event in Las Vegas, many eaters claimed the burger was significantly larger than [Hasselhoff's] head . . . Others cited Hasselhoff's size [6-foot-4] and said it was likely that his head weighed 11 pounds or more. Unless we are certain of its weight, I find it irresponsible to use Mr. Hasselhoff's head as a standard by which to measure this burger. I have written to Hasselhoff requesting voluntary participation in a [nonsurgical] weighing procedure. The weighing process will either employ volumetrics [submersion in water] or require Hasselhoff to lie on a table with his head extended over the edge onto a scale. I am confident that the weighing process will be painless and non-invasive . . . The resolution to the so-called 'Burger Head' dispute appears to rest on whether Hasselhoff's head is significantly larger than average."
posted by hot soup girl at 8:04 PM on March 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yes, he's fat. It's irrelevant. The problem with Rush Limbaugh is that he's a lying propagandist. There are so many opportunities to criticize the man without stooping to ad hominems. Insulting him on his appearance just weakens the legitimate criticism of a truly horrible person.
posted by Daddy-O at 10:30 PM on March 3, 2011

The only true way to measure Rush Limbaugh's head obviously is to chop it off.

Other people I disagree with should also be violently killed. HAHAHAHAHA.

That's what passes for humor on Rush Limbaugh's show. Seeing it here on MetaFilter sadly feels like a success for him.
posted by straight at 10:59 PM on March 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

What is this "eSquire" magazine? Something for electronic squires?

Man, the 90s were a weird place.
posted by Eideteker at 7:02 AM on March 4, 2011

The real question is how much RL's head would be worth at current meat prices.

While we're at it, anybody know how the restaurant that echoes does work?
posted by Chichibio at 12:24 PM on March 4, 2011