NOW WITH MORE WIL WHEATON

March 11, 2011 10:06 PM

An open letter to Wil Wheaton. With response.
posted by kmz (59 comments total)

Look for more "celebrity asked to do random thing for money" coming to Comedy Central this fall!
posted by inturnaround at 10:16 PM on March 11, 2011

Now I'd like to see a picture of Wil Wheaton laying cable.
posted by haley_joel_osteen at 10:16 PM on March 11, 2011 [19 favorites]

(Just going to slip in a link to the Nerdist episode with Wil Wheaton. Chris and Wil were childhood friends and that podcast is now my favorite Nerdist episode.) Also:

“I still get these emails daily and my plan is to get a picture of you collating paper so that when they offer me a picture of ‘Harry Connick Jr. standing next to yarn’ I can say ‘Thanks. Here’s a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper’”

I think I found my next two sockpuppets.
posted by yaymukund at 10:17 PM on March 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

I want to see Danny Trejo rolling out dough with a rolling pin.

Dakota Fanning looking down at a fallen lawn ornament.

Harvey Keitel eating Kix.

Marc "Skippy" Price on the phone with his cable company.

Yanni looking confused at all the brands of facial tissue in Costco.
posted by inturnaround at 10:23 PM on March 11, 2011 [17 favorites]

Lady Gaga riding a moose
posted by the noob at 10:35 PM on March 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

What, exactly, do you mean by "riding", because Lady Gaga would probably oblige most meanings.
posted by Mizu at 10:37 PM on March 11, 2011 [8 favorites]

Lady Gaga retiring from music

The cast of Glee, quitting
posted by Threeway Handshake at 11:05 PM on March 11, 2011 [13 favorites]

Maria Bamford on a riding mower. MAKE IT HAPPEN, INTERNET!!!
posted by smartyboots at 11:11 PM on March 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

Nothing can beat the Geeky Convergence at the Emerald City Comic-Con where Wil Wheaton met Ken Jennings (and it was Wheaton who was dressed like a Mormon)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:17 PM on March 11, 2011

a celebrity has touched me in an intimate place.
should I call the cops?
posted by philip-random at 12:33 AM on March 12, 2011

Christopher Walken cooking chicken (previously)
posted by K.P. at 1:06 AM on March 12, 2011 [8 favorites]

Wheaton's a fascinating example of Image Redefinition, from child actor, to symbol of everything wrong with the 'New' Star Trek, to outcast celebrity (a perfect platform for the new medium of blogging), to memoirist and master of self-effacing humor to his recent acting comeback as a known nice-guy playing mostly creeps and villains... if you're going to get too involved in some celebrity's life, he's one of the BETTER choices.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:26 AM on March 12, 2011 [9 favorites]

I will pay Tina Yothers $35 to pop out the write-protect tab of a cassette tape.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 1:36 AM on March 12, 2011 [12 favorites]

I will fight anyone who doubts the relevancy of Wil Wheaton.

Sincerely,

Internet Warrior
posted by Errant at 1:38 AM on March 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Charlie Sheen cooking a winning steak.
posted by Duug at 2:16 AM on March 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

I skimmed the article, and I don't really get it. I mean. She asked for a collating paper picture of Wil Weaton with way more verbiage then needed. Why do I care?

Also, twitter. #yay.
posted by delmoi at 2:29 AM on March 12, 2011 [6 favorites]

(btw. the #yay was sarcastic)
posted by delmoi at 2:30 AM on March 12, 2011

I'll pay Meredith Salenger fifty bucks to play a banjo under a tree.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:28 AM on March 12, 2011

To hell with Wil Wheaton. Read the review of the 24 karat gold vibrator. Now I know what to get the wife for her birthday. And it's on sale.

If anyone complains that I didn't put a NSFW tag after the vibrator link, I'll laugh at you.
posted by Splunge at 3:30 AM on March 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Damn, I love Wheaton. I've loved him since Stand By Me. I love him so much I want to snark on every post that mentions him, then I read it and I just love him that much more.

Once he asked a question on his blog about a problem with his Mac. I posted a reply and he said thank you.

Now I want a picture of Wil Wheaton using his Mac, fuck the collating paper crap.
posted by tomswift at 3:32 AM on March 12, 2011

There's an entire video of Maria Bamford on a shopping cart that is probably motorized although you can't see that part. I'd rather see Maria "The Bammer" Bamford cleaning a mirror.
posted by DU at 3:34 AM on March 12, 2011

Regarding the gold vibrator review: argh. She confuses "carat" with "karat" and "vagina" with "vulva." Seriously, "on my vagina"??

Regarding the picture: I prefer Glenn Danzig buying kitty litter.
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:58 AM on March 12, 2011 [7 favorites]

Possible Rural Myth: If you say his name 3 times while looking at reddit, you can summon him.
posted by mikelieman at 4:11 AM on March 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Christopher Walken performing Lady Gaga
posted by dougrayrankin at 4:15 AM on March 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

wil.wheaton.collate.collate.collate.collate.collate.collate.collate
posted by Dolores Haze at 4:48 AM on March 12, 2011 [13 favorites]

I've got some interesting images of Wil, myself.
posted by jscalzi at 5:02 AM on March 12, 2011 [6 favorites]

Buckaroo Banzai teaching history.
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:12 AM on March 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Threeway Handshake: "Lady Gaga retiring from music

The cast of Glee, quittin"

Darmok and Jalad... at Tanagra.

Temba, his arms wide.
posted by Splunge at 5:35 AM on March 12, 2011 [50 favorites]

Does she ever say exactly WHY (I skimmed it. Too many words when I have a headache.) she needed that photo, or was it just a grand, pointless quest? I get those.
posted by pinky at 5:36 AM on March 12, 2011

Not a fan of the Wheaton. He's like a skinny Kevin Smith: Loves his rabid fans with a passion, but can't take criticism (he still drops wounded comments about that stupid Twitter argument about being a gamer advocate, just like Smith can't shut up about the too-fat-to-fly incident). Also, he seems to over enunciate every word that comes out of his mouth.
posted by Gator at 5:37 AM on March 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

I feel like this whole thing would be more interesting if it was basically any celebrity besides Wheaton. That's not meant as a dig—I like Wheaton fine—but if you were to ask me "which former TV actor is most likely to send a photo of himself collating to some blogger asking for said photo," I would have responded "Wheaton."
posted by AugieAugustus at 5:57 AM on March 12, 2011

Is this something I would have to have a ...forget it. Who am I fooling. I don't have anything.
posted by Sailormom at 5:59 AM on March 12, 2011

The best part for me was this comment:

I’m going to Wil’s house now and getting that severed finger you wanted right now.
posted by double block and bleed at 6:13 AM on March 12, 2011

I want to see a picture of John Scalzi looking at interesting images of other celebrities.
posted by Gorgik at 6:16 AM on March 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

[Couple comments removed, it's okay to just not respond to threadshitting in the first place.]
posted by cortex at 6:24 AM on March 12, 2011

This reminds me of all the back and forth between Pink Lady and Jeff. Crazy stuff!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:56 AM on March 12, 2011

I love The Bloggess. She is hysterical, and you have to read her for a while to get why she used so many words to ask for the photo. She's just really funny.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 7:18 AM on March 12, 2011

You know what I want a photo of? An actual, right there as it happened photo?

Shaka, when the walls fell.
posted by adipocere at 7:42 AM on March 12, 2011 [5 favorites]

I bought what I thought was an actual photo of that on eBay, but it turned out to be a Shaka con.
posted by cortex at 7:54 AM on March 12, 2011 [17 favorites]

Great Job, Internet!
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:00 AM on March 12, 2011

Kiteo, his eyes closed
posted by leotrotsky at 8:24 AM on March 12, 2011

And to think I hated him on TNG.
posted by tommasz at 8:34 AM on March 12, 2011

pinky: "Does she ever say exactly WHY (I skimmed it. Too many words when I have a headache.) she needed that photo, or was it just a grand, pointless quest?"

Yes she does. However since you only skim things I'm not going to waste my time and tell you what the reason is.
posted by Bonzai at 8:49 AM on March 12, 2011 [11 favorites]

will is cool.
posted by clavdivs at 9:02 AM on March 12, 2011

I would ask for a picture of Wil Wheaton using his Mac to play Minecraft, but I think that would scram the internet's reactor core.
posted by felix at 9:03 AM on March 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Splunge: " Temba, his arms wide."

Sokath. His eyes uncovered.
posted by zarq at 9:29 AM on March 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Roger Daltrey enjoying baked beans.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:43 AM on March 12, 2011

I feel the need to point out that, whilst collating (sort of), Mr. Wheaton is wearing a t-shirt with a picture of Boba Fett holding a boombox aloft, a la Llloyd Dobler in "Say Anything."
posted by eric1halfb at 10:17 AM on March 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

jscalzi says: I've got some interesting images of Wil, myself.

Yes, we know. That one's a rather interesting image of you, too.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:34 AM on March 12, 2011

want to see Danny Trejo rolling out dough with a rolling pin.

Machete don't bake.
posted by jamaro at 12:09 PM on March 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Harvey Keitel eating Kix.

Preferably with his pants on.
posted by Mcable at 12:43 PM on March 12, 2011

I am reminded of the immortal words of Q, who said; You weren't like that before the beard.
posted by bartleby at 1:01 PM on March 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wil Wheaton once auditioned to perform voiceover for a game I was working on. I almost hired him for just the fun factor of the idea, but he honestly, respectfully, wasn't right for the part, and I didn't want to insult him with fanboyishness.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:10 PM on March 12, 2011

My god, he's stolen Jonathan Frakes' beard.
posted by Jon-A-Thon at 1:22 PM on March 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Nothing can beat the Geeky Convergence at the Emerald City Comic-Con where Wil Wheaton met Ken Jennings (and it was Wheaton who was dressed like a Mormon)

Don't know if anyone has pointed this out, but take a look at the second pic, the two dudes signing are Jonathan Frakes and Brent Spiner.

Wheaton was supposedly a leet Hacker back in the day, everyone was always taking about that kid from Star Trek.
posted by Ad hominem at 2:32 PM on March 12, 2011

Wheaton was supposedly a leet Hacker back in the day, everyone was always taking about that kid from Star Trek.

Yeah, but mostly on alt.wesley.crusher.die.die.die
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 3:36 PM on March 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Christopher Walken cooking chicken

Yes, I always figured Walken as being the kind of guy who would dig some good chicken neck.
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:13 PM on March 12, 2011

I've never been one of the Wil Wheaton "followers" (though, like every other human on the Internet, I enjoyed Toy Soldiers).

Still, while thinking everyone talks about him way too damn much, sometimes things like this pop up and you have to say, "OK, I admit, he's kinda cool."
posted by legion at 10:01 PM on March 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I want to see Wil riding the pony on Lt. Warf!
posted by stormpooper at 7:17 AM on March 14, 2011