Trolls Belong Under Bridges

March 18, 2011 10:30 AM

Comment OR Vote: "A civilized cyberspace being necessary for the sanity of a free state, the right of the People to be secure against unreasonable Internet comments shall not be infringed. No person leaving a comment, or any legal incident thereof, on any web site shall vote in any federal, state, or local election within two years, or within such lengthier period as the Congress or the legislatures of the several states shall direct."
posted by anotherpanacea (44 comments total)

Is it meant to be commentary on how dumb internet commenters are?
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:35 AM on March 18, 2011

im in ur thread disenfranchising myself.
posted by charred husk at 10:37 AM on March 18, 2011 [19 favorites]

Somebody set up us the bomb?
posted by blue_beetle at 10:38 AM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

wake me when it's time to support "Farmville or Vote"
posted by sexyrobot at 10:39 AM on March 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm confused. The first sentence says that people should be "secure against unreasonable Internet comments", but the second sentence seems to be flat out against all comments. What are they shooting for here??

Wait.

Are they trolling me?
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 10:39 AM on March 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

"Commenters can wreck the internet - or they can spoil democracy; but they can't do both. Comment or vote will improve democracy and bring reason back to the internet."

Would that silly irrationality on the internet were restricted to comments; then I wouldn't be looking at this video right now.

Also, one might note that the comments on Youtube are going predictably well.
posted by koeselitz at 10:43 AM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sounds vaguely like slashdot, but brought to the rest of the world.
posted by leviathan3k at 10:46 AM on March 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

O noes the coarsening of america!
posted by Mister_A at 10:48 AM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also: I have not had enough, actually. I want to hear more from the troll who was calling me a "mewling apparatchik." That was rather good.
posted by koeselitz at 10:49 AM on March 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

Like I'm gonna let some sweater-vested weaseldick apparatchik tell me what to do on MY internet.
posted by ghharr at 10:51 AM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Stop trying to make "apparatchik" happen.
posted by Mister_A at 10:53 AM on March 18, 2011 [7 favorites]

You, erm, dingledork!
posted by Mister_A at 10:53 AM on March 18, 2011

You mad, Bro?
posted by TheCoyote23 at 10:59 AM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

If we extend this to cover people who call in to talk radio, I'm on board.
posted by PlusDistance at 11:03 AM on March 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

The right of the People to be free from all forms of Beanplating and Pettifoggery shall not be infringed.
posted by blucevalo at 11:05 AM on March 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

"to protect your freedoms, we will punish the exercise thereof"

This is the dumbest thing I've seen here all day, and I just came from the Libya thread.
posted by jtron at 11:07 AM on March 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

I choose vote!
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:10 AM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh, shit.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:10 AM on March 18, 2011 [4 favorites]

ever since we denied emperor norton his justly deserved leadership of these united states, our country has gone to hell, and all the talk and all the votes will never bring him back to fix our broken union
posted by pyramid termite at 11:11 AM on March 18, 2011 [4 favorites]

If this was "forward email or vote" I could get behind it.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:15 AM on March 18, 2011

Are they trolling me?

Yes.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:18 AM on March 18, 2011

(From the still image, I was really worried the guy on the left was a friend of mine. Phew.)
posted by mrgrimm at 11:18 AM on March 18, 2011

So, is the first clause operative or not?
posted by Navelgazer at 11:24 AM on March 18, 2011

first!
posted by sexyrobot at 11:26 AM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

O tempora! O moderators!
posted by ubernostrum at 11:32 AM on March 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

"A civilized cyberspace being necessary for the sanity of a free state, the right of the People to be secure against unreasonable Internet comments shall not be infringed."

So, as with the 2nd Amendment (after which this is patterned), "the People" in this context means only Federal and State governments, right?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:36 AM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

We didn't withdraw voting rights from people who published critical letters to the editors in newspapers in the days before the Internet. Because to do so would be a violation of the First Amendment.

This is the same thing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:54 AM on March 18, 2011

I say we make comments count as votes, so we can finally elect a cat president.
posted by orme at 12:00 PM on March 18, 2011 [4 favorites]

If the only effective vote you have is where you spend your money - this "plan" doesn't address the actual voting process.

(and perhaps the proper vote is to find out how not to spend money that makes its way into the pocket of the owner of commentorvote.com - just to drive home the lesson.)
posted by rough ashlar at 12:01 PM on March 18, 2011

If we extend this to cover people who call in to talk radio, I'm on board.

Those callers need their jobs.
posted by rough ashlar at 12:03 PM on March 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

Having not watched the video because I have things I have to do today and videos are a horribly inefficient way to get information across, could someone tell me if this is an actual thing or just some idiots (probably trolls themselves) who had a few bucks to spend on a domain name?
posted by JHarris at 12:03 PM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

             _.-""""-._    _.-"""-._
           .'          `. '         `.
          /            / \            \
         |  frequent  | . |            |
         |  internet  |/ \|  frequent  |
         | commenters | | |   voters   |
          \            \|/            /
           `._        _.'._        _.'
              `-....-'  |  `-....-'
                        |
                        |

                 individuals this
                   would affect
                   
                   

posted by Terminal Verbosity at 12:05 PM on March 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

Having not watched the video because I have things I have to do today and videos are a horribly inefficient way to get information across, could someone tell me if this is an actual thing or just some idiots (probably trolls themselves) who had a few bucks to spend on a domain name?

It's both.
posted by odinsdream at 12:17 PM on March 18, 2011

Does this mean if I leave a comment I don't get to vote?

No! Wait --
posted by swift at 12:24 PM on March 18, 2011

Hmm, minimal influence on local, state, and federal affairs, or the ability to call people all over the world idiots?

That's a toughie.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:28 PM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

*giggles uncontrollably at the silliness*

There's a limit to the crap I've been reading on the blue -no, not speaking up against FPPs so much as watching with increasing disbelief the stuff that gets spewn out there on the electronic pixel boards. Next thing you know, factories will fly...
posted by infini at 12:36 PM on March 18, 2011

I say we make comments count as votes, so we can finally elect a cat president.

Yeah but then Maru would win and the Republicans would be all 'check his birth certificate, he was born in Japan', and only this time they'd be right and it basically wouldn't be good.
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:15 PM on March 18, 2011

If we extend this to cover people who call in to talk radio, I'm on board.

They all paid actors, if you haven't heard.
posted by Nauip at 2:49 PM on March 18, 2011

I thought about it and I decided to give up my vote for commenting privilege. Why take a useless vote when I can have the internet. Remember, if you vote, you can't comment on the internet.
posted by fuq at 3:22 PM on March 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

fuq has a good point. Commenting and learning is much more important than throwing away my mostly useless third-party vote. I'll give up my vote to comment.
posted by mrgrimm at 4:08 PM on March 18, 2011

Jeez, Terminal Verbosity, put a NSFW warning on that, will ya?
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:54 PM on March 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

A sublime meta-troll. I love it.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 5:12 PM on March 18, 2011

The problem is that if you're posting a video on the internet, you're also commenting.
posted by delmoi at 5:00 AM on March 19, 2011

They're taking one for the team.
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:35 PM on March 19, 2011