"Greatness alone is not enough, or the cow would outrun the hare." - Proverb

April 6, 2011 12:07 PM

Udderly Amazing. [SLYT] 15-year-old German girl could not have a horse, so she trained one of her family's cows to become a show jumper. Luna the cow has come to navigate the pasture with equine ease.
posted by Fizz (45 comments total)

That's really cool. I don't think I've ever seen a saddled cow, let alone one that can jump.
posted by doctor_negative at 12:11 PM on April 6, 2011

It looks pretty tired after that one jump. Cows just aren't athletic, are they.
posted by echo target at 12:12 PM on April 6, 2011

...and the dish ran away with the spoon.
posted by Shfishp at 12:12 PM on April 6, 2011 [11 favorites]

So that's where Gran'ma Ben got the idea.
posted by Johnny Assay at 12:22 PM on April 6, 2011 [5 favorites]

I love everything about this.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 12:23 PM on April 6, 2011

haha cows are such stupid animals that are weak and passive C̋ͥ͟҉͔̝͙̞͔͉̥ơ̞̖͈̩̤͍̩̊͟w̗̔̉̄̉ͥ ̿̉ͤ̎̎͘҉͖̟̳͙̭͙̕K̂̿ͮ̓ͯ͊̐͐̌͏̰͍͖͓̟̘i̶̶̛͓̯͉̝̺̝̓ͬn̨͖͔͈͛̓͠ģ̧̳͇̰̭̤͉͈̍ͨͪ͠
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:24 PM on April 6, 2011 [8 favorites]

I am amoozed.
posted by exogenous at 12:28 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]

that cow is really hoofing it
posted by anya32 at 12:35 PM on April 6, 2011

cow has come to navigate the pasture with equine ease

Cow steers better than horse. Moos at eleven.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:38 PM on April 6, 2011 [9 favorites]

Fuck your Honda Civic horse, I've a horse cow outside.

Anyway, I don't really get why she can't have a horse if the family, you know, lives on a farm and has a cow.
posted by randomination at 12:40 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is what happens when you don't fulfill pony requests.
posted by hellojed at 12:41 PM on April 6, 2011 [29 favorites]

I just had a conversation with a coworker about whether or not a still photo from this was actually something photoshopped.

"Cows don't jump" they said.

"Have you ever seen a bull try to get someone off its back at a rodeo?" I replied.

"Yeah? So?.."

A long stare.

"You do realize that bulls are just 'boy cows'."

They hadn't realized that.
posted by quin at 12:42 PM on April 6, 2011 [34 favorites]

Anyway, I don't really get why she can't have a horse if the family, you know, lives on a farm and has a cow.

This is why.
posted by Fizz at 12:42 PM on April 6, 2011 [5 favorites]

Speaking as someone who has owned both cows and horses if she can do that with a cow she really deserves a horse. Hell I'd give her one of mine if she wasn't in Germany.
posted by the_artificer at 12:43 PM on April 6, 2011 [3 favorites]

Wow, that is one smarmy reporter voice.

P.S. Thanks for linking directly to the important part in the video!
posted by yaymukund at 12:43 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]

In my aunt's memoir she writes about a bull named Ajax, whom she befriended at a young age -- even though she knew what his fate would be. She'd ride him all over the ranch, and he'd lick her face as a greeting. Inevitably he was slaughtered and she had to help eat him:

"I made it through meals of fresh liver, of sweetbreads. And heart. In the end, only once did I pull away, mute and nearly choking on the lump in my throat. I could not, would not, eat his tongue."
posted by hermitosis at 12:43 PM on April 6, 2011 [15 favorites]

Imagine twenty years into the future:

--Yessiree, that's my show jumping cow right there. She's retired now, but in her day she competed in three state championships.
--But that cow only has three legs! How can a show jumper only have three legs? Did she have an accident?
--Well no, you see, a special cow like that you don't eat all at once!
posted by hydrophonic at 12:43 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am on a horse. "Moo." A cow.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:45 PM on April 6, 2011

"Lee Powell, Associated Press" at the end makes him sound like Leap Owl, which is altogether less impressive than Leap Cow.
posted by saturday_morning at 12:45 PM on April 6, 2011

This video appears to have been uploaded by the girl herself, a few months ago.
posted by Skeptic at 12:46 PM on April 6, 2011

Bah. Wrong link. Try this one instead.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:47 PM on April 6, 2011 [3 favorites]

I bet she'll do well at the Kentucky Steaks.
posted by Awakened at 12:48 PM on April 6, 2011

Cows are surprisingly nimble beasts. I was hiking in the Alps a few years ago and saw rather fat dairy cows climb up and down steep passes that would difficult for many humans.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:48 PM on April 6, 2011

If it weren't for my cow, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
posted by emelenjr at 12:49 PM on April 6, 2011 [4 favorites]

equine ease might be stretching it a little.

Nice story!
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 1:00 PM on April 6, 2011

Hello Cowgirl in the Sand.
posted by effluvia at 1:00 PM on April 6, 2011

Actually, that cow appears to have a whole YouTube channel. Apparently, the AP's investigative journalism mostly involves looking at cute animal videos on YT...
posted by Skeptic at 1:02 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hermitosis, my uncle Jack had a similar story, but with a happier ending. He thought he would save money by raising his own beef. He bought a calf, which he named Baby, and bottle fed it. Baby followed him around like a puppy and died of natural causes many years later.
posted by Tashtego at 1:21 PM on April 6, 2011 [4 favorites]

"A cow is a horse, of course, of course...."
posted by mudpuppie at 1:36 PM on April 6, 2011

Cows weren't always stationary meat frames.
posted by amethysts at 1:41 PM on April 6, 2011 [3 favorites]

Anyway, I don't really get why she can't have a horse if the family, you know, lives on a farm and has a cow.

This is why.

Actually, this is why.
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 2:09 PM on April 6, 2011

My god...

The terrifying predictions made by Gary Larson nearly a quarter-century ago are finally coming to pass.
posted by PlusDistance at 2:28 PM on April 6, 2011

Wow, that is one smarmy reporter voice.

Amazingly so. Enragingly so. It sounds like he's inviting derision for the young woman and her talented animal.

And yet now that I think about it, TV reporters do this all the time. Do they take dick lessons for these kinds of pieces? Dog show? Smarmy voice! Lady who dresses her cats in formal attire? Smarmy voice! Local man collects thousands of Matchbox cars? Smarmy voice!

Am I hearing their loathing for this part of their job coming through here?
posted by JHarris at 2:45 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

That cow is more athletic than I am.
posted by FishBike at 3:46 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

As far as my work is concerned, there's absolutely no legal difference between a cow and a horse.

cattle includes bulls cows oxen heifers calves steers horses mares geldings colts fillies asses mules pigs rams wethers ewes lambs goats and kids;

posted by wilful at 4:26 PM on April 6, 2011

Apparently, the AP's investigative journalism mostly involves looking at cute animal videos on YT...

Ah, so it's basically the same as my job then...
posted by wildcrdj at 4:35 PM on April 6, 2011

I assume the ultimate goal is a jump over the moon, right?
posted by jonmc at 4:35 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]

Apparently, the AP's investigative journalism mostly involves looking at cute animal videos on YT...

The guy who wrote the story (not the one who's narrating it) is a friend of mine. He'd just returned from Egypt covering the uprising and was assigned this story upon his return. I think it might have been a bit of a let down for him.
posted by skauskas at 4:53 PM on April 6, 2011

I knew someone who was one "the third largest Longhorn breeder" in GA. Since they're not that common in GA, she didn't have many. But The ones she did have were much loved, raised as pets from calves, and treated like big dogs.

She eventually had to sell them because she could not, COULD not, create a fence that would keep them in. They had a lot more personality than cows usually do, what with all that human interaction, and they were curious and liked to explore. They'd hop over the fence casually and eat the grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side, or go looking for a person to play with them, or just go wandering. Loose bovines, FWIW, are a lot more of a danger to vehicles than deer are; they're bigger and slower and less intimidated by human creations. The horns made them rather a menace, too, since they'd toss their heads around playfully and "long" is not an exaggeration.

I think the part that still stands out most in my mind is the image of a longhorn cow casually hopping a fence to go play.
posted by galadriel at 6:42 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

Anyway, I don't really get why she can't have a horse if the family, you know, lives on a farm and has a cow.

*Were* you serious? 'Cause, you know, maintenance on a horse is pretty expensive, over and above purchase price. Keeping a horse is a lot more than having a place to put it.

And the damn things are not just fragile, they're self-destruct machines. They have a tendency to injure themselves in the most expensive way possible, aaaaalways when it requires an emergency fee on top of the callout fee. No matter how paranoid you are, how safe your farm, horses can find a way to need extensive stitches or 3 months of stall rest or emergency farrier attention or or or.
posted by galadriel at 6:47 PM on April 6, 2011 [4 favorites]

hermitosis: "In my aunt's memoir she writes about a bull named Ajax, whom she befriended at a young age -- even though she knew what his fate would be. She'd ride him all over the ranch, and he'd lick her face as a greeting. Inevitably he was slaughtered and she had to help eat him:

"I made it through meals of fresh liver, of sweetbreads. And heart. In the end, only once did I pull away, mute and nearly choking on the lump in my throat. I could not, would not, eat his tongue."

"To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect."

~ Bill Bryson
posted by bwg at 7:00 PM on April 6, 2011

Am I hearing their loathing for this part of their job coming through here?

"This is Ken Lewis. He's a little bit of a legend around here for having the most sarcastic voice in the world of campaign ads."
posted by zippy at 7:45 PM on April 6, 2011

I love both that girl and that cow. I am also now thinking that I really want a cow to ride.
posted by troublewithwolves at 8:33 PM on April 6, 2011

Pfft, we had a heifer who could jump twice as high as that cow, seriously. Eventually, after spending too much time and aggravation trying to wrangle her back into the pen, we made up a pleasant area for her with unjumpable 6' tall panels, and made sure she had plenty of feed and water and TLC. We named her T-Bone. She was delicious.

My only other jumping cow story is about the time when my dad, in his youth, broke his arm after being thrown off a cow. He spent the night in a hospital room with a crazed drunk whose wife had stabbed him in the head. That's really just a tangentially-jumping-cow-related story, though.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:14 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wow, 44 comments in and nobody made a Mongo joke? If you'll excuse me, I need to go comfort Mel Brooks.
posted by dejah420 at 10:41 PM on April 7, 2011