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April 12, 2011 6:36 PM   Subscribe


 
It's been my experience that people who like the same music I do don't make good mates.


Unless it's Dory Previn in which case al bets are off.
posted by The Whelk at 6:40 PM on April 12, 2011


Yeah, oddly enough I've had the same experience. Though I had some great moments at Mountain Goats and Hold Steady shows I usually end up being 'hey, we like the same bands. this will be awesome' and that kinda ends up being it.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:41 PM on April 12, 2011


What if what I'm looking for in a mate is someone to play good music to make up for my terrible taste? Huh? What about that?
posted by DU at 6:42 PM on April 12, 2011 [5 favorites]


DU, have I got the girl for you. She's called Pandora, and... oh, nevermind.
posted by sysinfo at 6:45 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


tl;dr If you like the same bands I do as much as I do we are too fucked up to be together and need to find other, less fucked up people we like so we can continue to exist.
posted by The Whelk at 6:47 PM on April 12, 2011 [10 favorites]


Tastebuds: taking the illusion out of OKCupid.

I want the prog and metal nerds to work a little in order to spam me, thx.
posted by far from gormless at 6:47 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


I dunno, a lot of assholes listen to the same music I do.
posted by klangklangston at 6:49 PM on April 12, 2011 [12 favorites]


What about dating a girl because she's got the same name as someone in alot of your favorite songs? Is that a good idea?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:50 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


What was that old site ... it was like a forum, but also attempted to do some social networking stuff too before that was a big deal (I'm thinking this is like 2001-2002). You created a profile and posted pictures, and people browsed the pictures by gender. Profiles were usually either largely blank or long lists of bands that people liked. I remember it being very teen-skewed and very emo-y. Black background.

Wish I could remember the name. It was something straight-forward, like "hookup" or something. Anyway, this reminds me of a grown-up version of that.
posted by penduluum at 6:50 PM on April 12, 2011


Oh and according to this nobody in Australia likes the same music as me (or at least nobody on that site).
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:50 PM on April 12, 2011


I used to think that whole thing you see in sappy indie movies about meeting your soulmate who you know is your soulmate because they like the same bands as you was ridiculous, adolescent and short-sighted, but then I finally met somebody who did more than just endure my five-hour Frank Sinatra album marathons, and I have to admit that I quite liked that.

But I still don't think this is a good idea.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 6:50 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


The makeoutclub.

I met my husband on there!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:51 PM on April 12, 2011 [5 favorites]



Wish I could remember the name. It was something straight-forward, like "hookup" or something. Anyway, this reminds me of a grown-up version of that.


makeoutclub?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:51 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


That was to penduluum, incidentally.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:51 PM on April 12, 2011


Incidentally, themakeoutclub was heavily billed as not a dating site, but just a site where indie kids could connect with one another. Or something.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:52 PM on April 12, 2011


If I do like you enough I will pin you down and make you listen to Mystical Kings And Iguanas. Just fair warning there.
posted by The Whelk at 6:53 PM on April 12, 2011


Well, it worked for DiscourseMarker and me. My best friend said, "You should meet her, she likes XTC too." We bonded over our shared mourning of Andy Partridge's stage fright, and then we got married.*

*In fairness, the second part did not happen immediately.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:53 PM on April 12, 2011 [6 favorites]


Summer: I love The Smiths.

Tom: [removing his headphones] Sorry?

Summer: I said I love The Smiths. You–you have a good taste in music.

Tom: You like The Smiths?

Summer: Yeah. “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” I love ‘em.

[Summer steps off the elevator]

Tom: Holy shit.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:53 PM on April 12, 2011 [5 favorites]


There should be a version of this for painters.

Person A:
Enter your favorite artists: Magritte, Rauschenberg, Rothko, Kline, Bacon, Dalí
[searching for your matches . . . .]
124 matches found with 200 miles of [zip code]

Person B:
Enter your favorite artists: Julian Schnabel
[searching for your matches . . . .]
0 matches found
posted by Houyhnhnm at 6:54 PM on April 12, 2011 [11 favorites]


I met a girl at a thing once and she was like 'Rock sucks dance rules' and i was like 'no way dance sucks rock rules' and she's like 'if you come back to my place i'll prove that dance is good' and then we went back to her warehouse and listened to LCD Soundsystem and stuff happened

happened with a DJ once too. very strange. you need that tension or frisson I think, but we'll see. there's somebody I'm chatting to on OKCupid now 'cause her profile said 'message me if you're going to be at the next Against Me! show', which I am. but i'm not sure what to talk about once we run out of bands
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:54 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


oh and my ex always got really angry when I sided with her dad over here during music arguments. sorry, but i'd rather listen to classic rock than Mars Volta. again
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:55 PM on April 12, 2011


Did we kill it? I think we killed it.

An error occurred in the application and your page could not be served. Please try again in a few moments.
If you are the application owner, check your logs for details.

posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 6:56 PM on April 12, 2011


I entered my Last.fm username and now an error occurred in the application and my page could not be served. Clearly, my tastes are too awesome for this site.

Then again, quoth Groucho Marx, "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member".
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:57 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


"Well maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests. "
posted by cazoo at 6:57 PM on April 12, 2011 [8 favorites]




I prefer meeting people who share my taste in music, but don't realize it yet (and vice versa). I don't think this site caters to me.
posted by jabberjaw at 7:02 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


I entered my Last.fm username and now an error occurred in the application and my page could not be served. Clearly, my tastes are too awesome for this site.

It worked for me just long enough so that I could take my laptop over to my husband and show him how the indie music scene hasn't changed at all since 2001.

Seriously, it's funny that a decade later, boys who have the same music tastes as me still stare sulkily in the distance while wearing army jackets (or, alternatively, are punked out from head to toe) and the girls still wear flannels and cute glasses (the fake mustaches are new, though).
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:02 PM on April 12, 2011


(Oh, also, my interest was actually more piqued when I thought "tastebuds" was a site that matched people based on their tastes in food.)
posted by jabberjaw at 7:02 PM on April 12, 2011 [6 favorites]


**click click click** What? Oh come on, website, you cannot mean to tell me there are no single men in the environs of Boston who like They Might Be Giants.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:03 PM on April 12, 2011


they claim Coldplay fans are least likely to have sex on the first date

It's because they were all yellow!

Hahaha I'll show myself out.

Let me make up for a bad joke by reminding you all that you can make beautiful charts and graphs of your Last.FM listening behaviour here.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:05 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


Actually, I think I'd prefer not to be hugely into a band that I "shared" with a partner. One band has been completely spoiled for me by the intense fandom of a mentally ill ex, and I can't enjoy it anymore.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:08 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]




Now they just need one for video games.

STALKER, Aerobiz Supersonic, Ys Book I & II, BioShock, Fallout. Doom, not HalfLife. Civ II, not Civ V. Dwarf Fortress over MineCraft every day of the week. Ladies?
posted by BeerFilter at 7:15 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


and if you name yer site Tastebuds I am thinking you are reviewing food and/or pot.
posted by The Whelk at 7:15 PM on April 12, 2011


Oh man, I hoped this would be about food.
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:16 PM on April 12, 2011


Try track 4
posted by anigbrowl at 7:21 PM on April 12, 2011


This reminds me of my friend who will remain nameless who signed up for some dating site, input all of his details, and received exactly one matching potential soul mate, which was the woman he had just divorced.
posted by unSane at 7:21 PM on April 12, 2011 [16 favorites]


Oh man, I hoped this would be about food.

Food's the best illustration of the whole 'tastes are kinda irrelevant' thing. I dated a vegan, spent a long time in love with/best friends with another vegan, and most girls I know are vegans/vegetarians.
I have the animal rights views of a Captain Planet villain.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:22 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


What about dating a girl because she's got the same name as someone in alot of your favorite songs? Is that a good idea?

Not if her name is Lola.
posted by Forktine at 7:26 PM on April 12, 2011 [6 favorites]


Captain Planet Villians just did things for being EEEEEEEvil. None of it made any sense.

Now the kid who had Heart as a power. I didn't getthat.

Everyone else got an element, EARTH WIND WATER FIRE, and then you have heart? Lame. That's like an Aquaman power.

Unless you think, Heart is the biomass of the planet, as as part of it as wind or water.

So he could control EVERY ANIMAL. How much? Like down to the microscopic? Yea gods. One wave of his hand and you have The Birds or a Flu epidemic.

Does Heart include people? People are part of the biomass. Oh god, did you just give the little kid COMPLETE AND UTTER CONTROL OVER EVERY THINKING BEING ON THE ENTIRE PLANET?

For some reason they never addressed this.
posted by The Whelk at 7:27 PM on April 12, 2011 [8 favorites]


So I changed my photo on OKCupid to be this one where I'd just had a really elaborate hairstyle taken off and I looked like a medusa as an experiment to see if I kept getting messages and I DID and mostly it was from people who talked about metal in their profiles or usernames.

So, um, maybe I should be using this instead? But I think I mostly have the same problem as The Whelk, where all the music I like is so angsty that people who also like it might be just as fucked up and crazy as me. Though I do sort of have a crush on LovecraftInBrooklyn and doublewhiskeycokenoice because of their usernames, so maybe it would work for me?

Or they could just plug last.fm into OKC.
posted by NoraReed at 7:28 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


Captain Planet Villians just did things for being EEEEEEEvil. None of it made any sense.

I chose my words very carefully.
I think some form of incompatible tastes give a nice bit of tension, which you need. Plus the music I deeply love is music that I deeply love for pretty personal reasons, so sharing that with someone else is a bit embarrassing beyond the baseline.

OTOH, Springsteen/Gaslight Anthem fans are probably the only girls who'll be impressed when i tell them i was born in Jersey
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:29 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


So many people against this! Personally, I tend to instinctively reject people on OKCupid based on their taste in books, movies and music, so this seems like it's just making things easier. I'm not even that much of a snob, to each his own, but if you like Tim McGraw and The Chipmunks 3-D our dates are gonna be awkward. Is that so wrong?
posted by naju at 7:32 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


"Viewing matches based on your favourite artists which include: Belle and Sebastian, Josephine Foster, Sam Amidon, Shearwater, Townes Van Zandt, Lyle Lovett, Eyvind Kang, Sir Richard Bishop, Radiohead, and Mitch Hedberg"

Ok, I like those people, but my top eight are King Crimson, Richard Thompson, Tom Waits, the Mountain Goats, Bob Drake, Henry Cow, John Zorn, and Head of Femur (results that admittedly surprise me), so why don't they get any representation?

Doesn't anyone else in San Francisco like Hans Reichel?
posted by kenko at 7:33 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


they claim Coldplay fans are least likely to have sex on the first date (yeah, its an OKC Trends ripoff)
Okay, they're not accounting for gender there. It seems like it's basically a "bands girls like" vs. "bands dudes like" It's hard to imagine Lady Gaga and Katy Perry being more chaste then Arcade Fire, The Beatles and the Gorillaz if corrected for gender.
posted by delmoi at 7:33 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


I think its just too specific. It asks you for your three favorite bands, so unless you put in something like 'Radiohead/Coldplay/U2' you're not going to get that many matches until it hits critical mass.
And I've been burned by thinking i'd have something in common with someone just because we like the same music. Though it does work for guys, since the bands I like are heavily bromantic
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:34 PM on April 12, 2011


Though this may not work well for actual dating, it might be ok as far as getting concert-going companions.
posted by kenko at 7:35 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Eh. I've never dated someone whose musical tastes lined up with mine 100% down to every possible band, but mostly we like a lot of the same stuff. The exceptions tend to come up when one of us is manning the in-car stereo.

On the other hand, though I could be wrong, I sorta doubt someone who likes nothing I like (or actually hate) is going to have much in common with me. I don't know that this makes the site a good idea or not, but I don't think it's ridiculous either.
posted by cj_ at 7:39 PM on April 12, 2011


Miko -- your tabs are showing. But now I don't have to read the Paul Simon thread, which is pretty sweet.
posted by Diablevert at 7:39 PM on April 12, 2011


Though this may not work well for actual dating, it might be ok as far as getting concert-going companions.

Yeah, or housemates. I lived with a guy who shared my EXACT tastes in music and it was awesome. Never had to worry about playing the stereo too loud.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:40 PM on April 12, 2011


Miko, although it seems you have the wrong thread, it is still so right.

The Whelk's comment makes me think that a good niche dating site proposal would be for people's analysis of children's shows popular in their youth. You could tell that the boring people wouldn't want to play along at all, or would trot out the jokes about Shaggy being a stoner, but someone with the insight of a The Whelk would at least be worth a dinner date of your time.

For this site, I perhaps jinxed the deal by including Klaus Nomi and Dar Williams. As a straight lady, that makes for two gigantic outliers.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:41 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Galaxie 500 fan seeking like minded SWF that's not into My Bloody Valentine. Likes dub, but not house. Distastes 80s hi hats. Looking for a Fleet Fox to be my Panda Bear.
posted by geoff. at 7:41 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


I've already attempted to find men who like Sparks, Morrissey, and showtunes. That didn't work out so well..
posted by Mael Oui at 7:43 PM on April 12, 2011 [6 favorites]


"Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate."
posted by dd42 at 7:47 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


I've already attempted to find men who like Sparks, Morrissey, and showtunes. That didn't work out so well..

You couldn't make him a wonder boy?
posted by John Cohen at 7:48 PM on April 12, 2011


Viewing matches based on your favourite artists which include: 坂本龍一, Lil Wayne, The Microphones, Sufjan Stevens, The Smashing Pumpkins, Sonic Youth, Stereolab, TV on the Radio, Radiohead, and Eluvium

So this is an interesting popular mix they've gotten from my Last.fm profile, but it's not anywhere near accurate. I don't think Lil Wayne, Radiohead or Sufjan are even in my top 100. Did they just get chosen because they're statistically significant?
posted by naju at 7:49 PM on April 12, 2011


A few years back I got a message on mySpace from a friend's roommate; something along the lines of "you like James Chance and the Kleptones? I want to have your babies."

We are tying the knot in about a month. No babies yet but we do have a DJ night together. So hey, there's worse ideas.
posted by jtron at 7:49 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO DATE A MUSIC SNOB?
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:49 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


It would be nice if it were possible to tell it to ignore certain things, like, e.g., Sufjan Stevens, Radiohead, Belle & Sebastian, and the Smiths. Liking them is, in certain populations at least, just not informative.
posted by kenko at 7:50 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


But if he already likes all the same music I do, how will I find new music???
posted by rosa at 8:00 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


overlap not congruity...

if you want to date someone exactly like you, you may as well stick to Rosy and her five sisters.
posted by edgeways at 8:00 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


"So who's that woman you're dating now?"
"Oh, you've probably never heard of her."
posted by ODiV at 8:09 PM on April 12, 2011 [13 favorites]


what does it even MEAN

i met a girl once that i adored because she was a free spirit, but she ended up leaving

i love her for it and it kills me... but it doesn't really kill me, it actually solidifies "me" as an individual, alone, looking for a connection. so i guess it actually gives me life, and i was dead before i met that girl

how long can the love she instilled last on its own? what am i without the love?

i like chkchkchk
posted by lulz at 8:10 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


From the first 7 comments:

It's been my experience that people who like the same music I do don't make good mates.

What if what I'm looking for in a mate is someone to play good music to make up for my terrible taste?

I dunno, a lot of assholes listen to the same music I do.


Which I completely concur with. Did these people actually do any market research?
posted by philip-random at 8:15 PM on April 12, 2011


Doesn't anyone else in San Francisco like Hans Reichel?

After poking around that website and drawing a blank, I find some of the people here putting up lists of bands that I do like, quite interesting lists. And thanks to kenko there is someone else in San Francisco who now knows of and likes Hans Reichel (after some googling and tubing to see who he is). I guess the romantic in me likes the off-chance serendipity of connecting with people versus the machine driven demographical analysis of "likes".
posted by njohnson23 at 8:17 PM on April 12, 2011


My wife and I have completely different tastes in music, and it's worked out well. That said, I'd give it a try if I was single.
posted by Huck500 at 8:30 PM on April 12, 2011


Yeah, I've got a profile on there now because... why not? it's easy with Facebook and Last.fm connect, and you never know. The sorta mini-scene I'm in is pretty small though, and it's easy to meet people in it. Just harder to find ones who are cool.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 8:39 PM on April 12, 2011


I knew my wife was awesome when I found out that, two years prior to our meeting, she went to the same death metal tour as me (Nile, Arch Enemy, Hate Eternal, Origin) and got hit on by Erik Rutan. And she doesn't even like metal. Except Opeth. Opeth is awesome.

But no, we don't have similar tastes in music. Sometimes, I think we're like that Simpsons episode where Homer realizes that he and Marge like none of the same things.
posted by Existential Dread at 8:39 PM on April 12, 2011


I realized that I just wanted a girl who cared about SOME aspect of pop/high culture as much as I did. didn't have to be my specific area. but they had to at least GET that obsessive urge
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 8:45 PM on April 12, 2011


Out of a few hundred CDs, my wife and I had two duplicates when we moved in together. We're still pretty far apart musically but that doesn't seen to effect our relationship.
posted by octothorpe at 8:46 PM on April 12, 2011


I think this is already in effect on the bar scene in Brooklyn, because you can't go into a bar around here for more than ten minutes unless you like, basically, The National, at a minimum.

Honestly, liking bands has been co-opted for so long in my social circles as an intricate mating ritual, I almost forgot that musical taste is a thing that exists as an earnest personal preference anymore.
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 8:49 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


Out of a few hundred CDs, my wife and I had two duplicates when we moved in together.

We had zero overlap, in maybe 12 linear feet of CDs. Now we like a lot in common, but that was from showing each other new things, not from starting with the same tastes.
posted by Forktine at 8:53 PM on April 12, 2011


All I know - and I'm speaking from experience here - is that when a girl lists Tom Waits in her top three, it's bad news.

To quote a friend of mine, "I'm not the kind of girl who likes Tom Waits, I'm the kind of girl who likes boys who are into Tom Waits."

That's the kind of girl I want. Incidentally, that's the kind of girl I have.
posted by komara at 8:56 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


My wife likes the same music I do, but she didn't when we met. That's because she hadn't been exposed to most of it yet. She introduced me to more than a few good artists, as well.

This is a terrible way to find a mate *and* a terrible way to find new music.
posted by rocket88 at 8:57 PM on April 12, 2011


I don't want to date a girl who likes the music I listen to. I'm not sure I even like the music I listen to.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:04 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


See now, that worries me. My Pandora one subscription ran out today (got to renew it) and all of the ads that they chose for me to listen to were on teenager stuff - acne cream and a message from the Governor to the youth of our state (eat healthy meals with your family, kids!).

The result of projecting that into dating activity would be a violation of city, state, and federal law, not to mention not really what I'm looking for.
posted by quillbreaker at 9:04 PM on April 12, 2011


"Pall Arason" is an anagram of "An Oral Slap". That right there is all I got.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:05 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Oops, wrong thread.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:05 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I try not to inflict my eclectic musical tastes onto my honey. I've figured out over the years where the bright spots on her map are, so that when she says, "go in the other room and put some music on," I'm not all like, "BLEEP BLORP SQUISH HONK SSsrsrrrrr"... It's fun to find out over time what your partner's tastes are.

On the other hand, I dated a girl for a couple of months before I fully realized how MUCH she liked Toni Amos and Gordon Lightfoot and the Indigo Girls, but by then it was TOO LAAAAATE.
posted by not_on_display at 9:10 PM on April 12, 2011


All I know - and I'm speaking from experience here - is that when a girl lists Tom Waits in her top three, it's bad news.

lemme guess, you met her in a coffee shop...
posted by mannequito at 9:16 PM on April 12, 2011


You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops.
posted by komara at 9:21 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Man, in my Venn diagram, there's gotta be some small overlap for road trips where you don't want to guess about what to listen to in the car together as far as shared taste in music goes.

But, I've got to be with someone who can teach me things I didn't know about music and make me love things I've never discovered before. And learning what we like and don't like allows us to find greater overlap in taste over time, and that process would be lost if we were already too similar and equally emotionally invested in the same "scene." I wouldn't meet new people or go to new venues without dating someone whose taste varies from mine, and that's awesome, too.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:27 PM on April 12, 2011


In between meeting a girl and properly dating her a few years back I wrote a review that had the line 'If you don't like The Hold Steady, I don't like you'. Pretty embarrassing in hindsight. Anyway, said girl purchased the album before we started dating. Kinda sweet/creepy.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:29 PM on April 12, 2011


makeoutclub?

Whoa. Didn't think those neurons would ever get fired up again....

Come to think of it, I kind of wish they hadn't....what an odd place.
posted by schmod at 9:35 PM on April 12, 2011


there are enough fans of rasputina in boston to make me briefly consider signing up.

but i've been to rasputina shows before and i'm sorry but the overlap between people who like rasputina and people who like jhonen vasquez makes it too much of a risk. if i found myself on a date with someone who was into jhonen vasquez i think i'd chew off my own arm to get away.

please note that i did not specify that my arm needed to be trapped.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 9:50 PM on April 12, 2011


someone to play good music to make up for my terrible taste === my wife
posted by Deathalicious at 9:51 PM on April 12, 2011


When I first started dating the woman who would become Mrs. Maaik, we had veeeeerrrrrryyyy different tastes in music. As in: my album collection was an ever-growing, sprawling kudzu of jazz, punk and indie rock. Hers fit in a comfy little binder and consisted mostly of Original Cast Recordings of things. Oh, and a copy of The Verve Pipe's Villains, our single overlap. She staunchly claimed to hate 80s music--she couldn't stand something about the production (can't really say I blame her)--so I learned how to play "Just What I Needed" just to annoy her and put the Smiths on in the car as often as I could.

Our common ground was Motown (because, c'mon, who doesn't love Motown?). We'd seek out Golden Oldies stations on long drives and I was sure to put Jackie Wilson and Supremes songs on the mix CDs I made for her. She also loved Carol King and Don McLean and the like, so I took her to see the Mountain Goats and Tallahassee became our album. Not in an emulatory kind of way, but because we recognized the hard times are like the sandpaper on the rough plank of our relationship. That, and "No Children" is one of the greatest singalongs ever written.

Just about ten years later, I'm putting on her Pandora station on Sunday mornings and she's driving to work listening to my Spoon albums. Our entire relationship hasn't revolved around music, but I do, so these are the connections I make. What I'm getting at is that it may be easier to hit on a girl who also owns all the Pixies albums, and planning evenings out together might be easier if she wanted to come with me to see Melt Banana, but as I think has been said above, tastes are a pretty shallow shorthand around which to base a relationship. That's kind of harsh, I mean that less than I mean to say that in my case, our initial (and persistent) differences have made it all the more rewarding to see how we've grown together as a couple.
posted by Maaik at 9:51 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


There was a girl I was introduced to ages ago who seemed nice. We hit it off, etc. Asked her what she liked, she said 'Evenensce'. Shoulda been a red flag, but whatever. I got her some free tickets, and the band wasn't as bad as I thought they'd be. I nodded my head to the music and she left 'cause she claimed i was getting too into it. Bizarre.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:51 PM on April 12, 2011


Oh here's a much shorter story that my last one: back in college, I was in a play with this girl who I'd much later wind up dating briefly. While we were an item she told me about how during rehearsal one day, I'd casually complimented her Tori Amos t-shirt. At the time she thought to herself "Aw, he's cute. Too bad he's gay."
posted by Maaik at 9:56 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


My obsession is Radiohead.

Mr. Windigo's favorite band is The Barenaked Ladies. Oh, and he adores Avril and Katy Perry.

So. I kinda think basing compatability on music is a bit shortsighted.

Though I bet roadtrips are smoother.
posted by Windigo at 10:21 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


One of the many ways my husband and I didn't meet during the 10 years we ran in similar crowds after our time at the same (small) university was at Celtic shows in the same little folk bar in Houston, including the Brian McNeill show that we and our respective SOs were 20% of the audience for. So I'm inclined to think there's something to shared musical taste, but I expect it's more important when there are weeks you spend three night out at shows together.

On the other hand, I'm inherently suspicious of algorithm-based dating sites, so I'm not sure this is a great way to find people who have similar tastes. If it's no more accurate than Amazon's recommendations, I wouldn't rely on it for accuracy in determining shared/related taste.
posted by immlass at 10:59 PM on April 12, 2011


you cannot mean to tell me there are no single men in the environs of Boston who like They Might Be Giants.

There aren't any single men in They Might Be Giants who like Boston, either.
posted by mintcake! at 11:22 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also: record party at kenko's house.
posted by mintcake! at 11:24 PM on April 12, 2011



My obsession is Radiohead.

Mr. Windigo's favorite band is The Barenaked Ladies. Oh, and he adores Avril and Katy Perry.

So. I kinda think basing compatability on music is a bit shortsighted.


both Radiohead and BNL sing about alienation and depression. BNL just put in a few more jokes
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 11:34 PM on April 12, 2011


there is someone else in San Francisco who now knows of and likes Hans Reichel

w00t!
posted by kenko at 11:41 PM on April 12, 2011


You know what I would find infinitely more useful? A dating site that matches users based on whether or not they listen to WFMU.
posted by metaman livingblog at 1:10 AM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


My favorite band is Godspeed You! Black Emperor. I would not want to date someone whose favorite band is Godspeed You! Black Emperor.
posted by moonbiter at 1:56 AM on April 13, 2011


Great if youre 14
posted by fire&wings at 2:39 AM on April 13, 2011


Hans Reichel is delightfully whimsical at least on a first listen, so thank you Kenko from over here in the East Bay.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:10 AM on April 13, 2011


(because, c'mon, who doesn't love Motown?)

Me!
posted by Forktine at 4:02 AM on April 13, 2011


bubblermatch.com: matches based on whether you call it "pop," "soda" or "coke."
buthewasabarelyliteratepeasant.com: matches based on whether you think it was really Bacon, de Vere or Marlowe.
oedipa.com: matches based on the data you enter about yourself and your parent of the opposite sex.
grammarpurity.com: ostensibly creates matches based on grammar preferences; actual goal is identifying users of the Oxford comma, all of whom will be put to the sword on the Day of Wrath.
posted by Your Disapproving Father at 5:51 AM on April 13, 2011 [4 favorites]


*inputs band names. checks results*

Oh great, all hipsters.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 6:12 AM on April 13, 2011


Really this should be made for tv shows and food. You don't spend 90% of your time in a relationship going to concerts.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:41 AM on April 13, 2011


You don't spend 90% of your time in a relationship going to concerts.

Speak for yourself, Mr. Avenue.
posted by immlass at 6:46 AM on April 13, 2011


One of the great things about relationships with someone with different tastes is that you find things you wouldn't have gotten into on your own. If I hadn't dated outside my Pandora station, I would never have discovered that I totally love Iron Maiden.
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:59 AM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


All I know - and I'm speaking from experience here - is that when a girl lists Tom Waits in her top three, it's bad news.

Whaaaa?

...I'm tempted to do this -- if only to see what it would yield from a collection so eclectic as to contain Peter Gabriel, early Van Morrison, Talking Heads, Rolling Stones, the B-52s, Tom Waits, The Waterboys, a random bluegrass album, Aaron Copland, INXS and Gershwin.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:14 AM on April 13, 2011


My test for potential girlfriends in 1983 was to play them the Birthday Party's SONNY'S BURNING at full blast on my (very very very loud) stereo and if they were still in the room by the end of it, hey, this thing could work.
posted by unSane at 7:26 AM on April 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Also, Mrs unSane and I both have 'Freak Scene' engraved on the insides of our wedding rings.
posted by unSane at 7:26 AM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


I need to put together a profile designed to attract completely unhinged animal mutilators and PCP dealers... lessee here, Masonna - Delta 9 - Rune Lindblad - Anaal Nathrakh - Manufactura - Whitehouse.... and, hmmm... Air, for those cooldown moments afterwards.
posted by FatherDagon at 7:36 AM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


So, FatherDagon, do you have the kids this weekend? (waggles eyebrows, leers)

EmpressC: I think maybe you hit post before you listed the music that would be strangely out of place with all the rest
posted by jtron at 7:47 AM on April 13, 2011


Yes, but only in the Albert Fish sense. Do you like soup?
posted by FatherDagon at 7:49 AM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


(puts on bib with red silhouette of baby)
posted by jtron at 7:59 AM on April 13, 2011


I dunno, I have dated two women who liked listening to ABBA and anything that might help me to avoid having that experience again has got to be a good thing.
posted by Acheman at 9:08 AM on April 13, 2011


Acheman, Headphones?
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:03 AM on April 13, 2011


Really this should be made for tv shows and food. You don't spend 90% of your time in a relationship going to concerts.
Pretty sure I would
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:40 PM on April 13, 2011


**click click click** What? Oh come on, website, you cannot mean to tell me there are no single men in the environs of Boston who like They Might Be Giants.

Having been to several TMBG shows in the environs of Boston, I'm pretty sure all the men are either married, or 5 years-old. Sorry :(
posted by DiscourseMarker at 5:51 PM on April 13, 2011


Or they are your sophomore English Teacher.
posted by The Whelk at 6:30 PM on April 13, 2011


The one who you suspected always wanted to molest you.
posted by unSane at 4:02 AM on April 14, 2011


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