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April 27, 2011 5:58 PM   Subscribe


 
I'm really quite conflicted at the conflation of a brilliant something awful meme and the royal wedding. Not sure whether to congratulate you or give you a wedgie.
posted by cavalier at 6:05 PM on April 27, 2011 [19 favorites]


We shouldn't rule out the possibility of doing both.
posted by mhoye at 6:06 PM on April 27, 2011 [7 favorites]


I can has cheezburger?

(Did I win?)
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:07 PM on April 27, 2011


This is what Metafilter is all about.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 6:08 PM on April 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


The framing of this post is pure genius, that is all.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:08 PM on April 27, 2011 [29 favorites]


"Then indeed the British people let themselves go in unrestrained jubilation." [BRITISH PEOPLE TRUDGING STOICALLY THROUGH TRAFFIC]
posted by katillathehun at 6:10 PM on April 27, 2011 [41 favorites]


I have no idea how to form a response to this, but surely there is some way to pun on the fact that they need to do way instain mother>?
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:17 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Fascinating stuff. I wonder which monarch started the slow-motion karate chop hello-wave?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:18 PM on April 27, 2011


What's wrong with that guy in the video? It sounds like he's narrating while straining on the bog.
posted by Jehan at 6:18 PM on April 27, 2011


What's wrong with that guy in the video? It sounds like he's narrating while straining on the bog.

He's just drunk on swan's blood and ermine sandwiches.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:21 PM on April 27, 2011 [9 favorites]


The accent you are hearing on the video is what every BBC anchor sounded like until the 60s.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:27 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


The accent you are hearing on the video is what every BBC anchor sounded like until the 60s.

Wow.
posted by Jehan at 6:36 PM on April 27, 2011




skip to 6:20 for the oath
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:39 PM on April 27, 2011


You beautiful bastard.
posted by boo_radley at 6:40 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


fyi, your royal wedding guest name is Lord/Lady NameOfGrandparent FirstPetName Hyphen WordFromNameOfSchoolYouHaveAttended "of" StreetYouGrewUpOn

e.g. Lord Harry Bunty-Banister of Milton

if one of these words is your security answer on internet banking, do not attend the wedding
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:05 PM on April 27, 2011 [59 favorites]


Lady Donald Bagheera-Technology of Rivendell.

Excellent.
posted by maryr at 7:09 PM on April 27, 2011 [17 favorites]


Lord Joseph Jacko-Pedare of Dillon

Doesn't really work.
posted by Jimbob at 7:09 PM on April 27, 2011


Lady Gladys Prancer-Ebenezer of Tizzana. I'm SO in with that one! I'll go fetch my ridiculous hat.
posted by ninazer0 at 7:18 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Edmund Waldo-Idyllwild of Lodge

I like it. Distinguished.
posted by gilrain at 7:20 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ok, let's give this a shot.

Lord Raymond Bailey-Whitfield of Andreas.

Not bad. B-
posted by gc at 7:21 PM on April 27, 2011


Lord George George-Mary of Central

Yeah, I think I'm going to skip the wedding.
posted by Jehan at 7:21 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


My father would be Lord John Donkey-County of Happyland, which crosses over the boundary from awful into awesome.
posted by Jehan at 7:25 PM on April 27, 2011 [33 favorites]


EMRJKC94, I tip my hat to you. Well played. Now I am going back to praying for Oliver Cromwell to rise from the dead and turn the wedding into an 80's horror movie. Sort of like Jesus, but with an actual purpose.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:29 PM on April 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Lord Abraham Hojo-Springs of 72nd Ave.

That's the kind of name you get if you live in a cave under Central Park. You know, to avoid the brainbeams.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:32 PM on April 27, 2011 [9 favorites]


Lady Jean Kitty-Islington of Islington.

(my family's so old they named the street after me. Or some bit o London).
posted by jb at 7:36 PM on April 27, 2011


In all seriousness, how are people supposed to see the wedding properly if all the guests are facing the aisle? WTF Anglicans??
posted by contessa at 7:36 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord David Fish-Tecumseh of Hill

We got a bit more then anticipated with the "Long to Reign Over Us" bit, that's a hell of a lot of waving over the years. I'll be a little disappointed when Queen Liz II kicks the bucked, it'll be interested to see who follows.
posted by Harpocrates at 7:37 PM on April 27, 2011


Lady Gloria Panchi-Parkville of Domenech

And April 29th is my birthday so this simply could not be a better day for all of humanity.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 7:38 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Pearl Winston-Southwest of Terrace

Enchanté!

bows deeply
posted by barrett caulk at 7:41 PM on April 27, 2011




Lord Theresa Cat-Linwood of Darwin.

I feel like a Discworld character all of a sudden.
posted by The Whelk at 8:00 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


My grandfather's name tears a hole in the fabric of the Peerage Name Generator space-time continuum: it's Earl.
posted by etc. at 8:04 PM on April 27, 2011 [9 favorites]


Lord Bailey Rudolph-Del Rio of Meandering

By Jove, I think I've got it! A disease, probably, considering the questionable sounding ancestry of the Rudolph-Del Rios.
posted by Xoebe at 8:04 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord Walter Collie-Julian of Sunshine.

I can mostly dig on that. Feeling a little Whelkish too, though.
posted by Samizdata at 8:06 PM on April 27, 2011


Lord George Tooth-Westbrook of Kenilworth.

[Dons frock coat and cravat.]
posted by Iridic at 8:07 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord John Johnny-Johnson of John.

Oh dear.
posted by TwelveTwo at 8:08 PM on April 27, 2011 [21 favorites]


Lord Aphrodite Daisy-Central of Maple

DAMN I'M A FUCKING FANCY BIRD, YEAHHHH
posted by Greg Nog at 8:08 PM on April 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Lady Ollie Brownie-Gibson of Water

Yeek.
posted by Malice at 8:09 PM on April 27, 2011


Lord Aphrodite Daisy-Central of Maple


So my next pet and or drag name.
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Leo Chicken Friendly-Friends of Broome.

As I suspected it's nonsense all the way down.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:12 PM on April 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


Lady Hannah FatBun-Stuyvesant of Central Park West does not really have an acceptable ring to it.
posted by elizardbits at 8:16 PM on April 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


It does sound like you breed very smart, very small digs.
posted by The Whelk at 8:21 PM on April 27, 2011


Hmm.
Lord Leon Frederick-Stuyvesant of Fahy.

Hmmmm.
posted by 1adam12 at 8:22 PM on April 27, 2011


Lady Inez Jezebel-Fremont of Elm

You can call me Jezzie.
posted by That's Numberwang! at 8:25 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oooh, me!

Lord Augusto Cholo-Central of Barclay

I went to a boring high school. I sure am Latino, tho.
posted by LMGM at 8:27 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lady Genevieve Patches-West of Edgewood.

HALLLLLLLLO!
posted by jeanmari at 8:27 PM on April 27, 2011


p.s. call me Cholo the Tyrant.
posted by LMGM at 8:28 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


You are Cholo central.
posted by The Whelk at 8:28 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Edward Popcorn-Leptondale of Strawridge.

Yes. THE Popcorn-Leptondales.
posted by KingEdRa at 8:29 PM on April 27, 2011 [18 favorites]


I know. This is place is just lousy with cholos.
posted by LMGM at 8:30 PM on April 27, 2011


"lousy" is perhaps not the right adjective, mind you.
posted by LMGM at 8:30 PM on April 27, 2011


* I loved that doggie. RIP, Popcorn, AKA Zipperleg*
posted by KingEdRa at 8:30 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


"Lord Aphrodite Daisy-Central of Maple

So my next pet and or drag name."


Please don't start using these for pet names. What will happen if you have a kid? That will be his (or her) first pet's name. That means when he or she grows up and has to come up with a royal invitation name, they'll be saddled with a monstrosity like this:

Lord Gaspard Lord Aphrodite Daisy-Central of Maple-Jersey of Stormwood

I suspect with a name like that, the royalty might even decide not to send an invitation to your son or daughter.
posted by Bugbread at 8:35 PM on April 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Thank you, East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94, for what is probably the best FPP meme/pun ever.
posted by kdar at 8:41 PM on April 27, 2011


My child could be a double Lord! All the better. I shall force them into study, to get a few doctors up in there. Yes, the kind of name you can't fill in the bubble for without a note from a notary and the state legislator. Very good.
posted by The Whelk at 8:42 PM on April 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Lord Sidney Occer-North of Bangalla.

President Lamanda Luaga and The Phantom both send their regards, your majesty.
posted by not the fingers, not the fingers at 8:43 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Doctor Huckleberry-Hague of Ball.

I think it suits.
posted by trip and a half at 8:50 PM on April 27, 2011


I am Lady Minnie Cookie-Hunter of 215th.

Growing up on a numbered street really ruins these kinds of games. But cookie-hunting is indeed an admirable pastime.
posted by enlarged to show texture at 8:53 PM on April 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Lord Hans Marmalade-St. Pius X of Kitchener.

Dear god, I sound like a madman.
posted by robotot at 9:00 PM on April 27, 2011 [11 favorites]


Lord Jack Zach-Trucking of Oak.

Oh my.
posted by stet at 9:10 PM on April 27, 2011


Lady Minnie Cookie-Hunter of the 215th.

There you go! Now it sounds faintly militaristic, enlarged to show texture.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:10 PM on April 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Lord Luther Shadow-Brush of Willow.

My word. That sounds a bit ominous, doesn't it?
posted by mkhall at 9:13 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


I could fiddle a bit and get Lord Hugh Simile-Information of McMillen. It's a good thing I respectfully declined my invitation to the royal wedding, I guess.
posted by stet at 9:15 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


If you have a numbered street then you drop the "of" and change it into a roman numeral
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:18 PM on April 27, 2011


Lord Running Clam.

That is all.
posted by Philby at 9:18 PM on April 27, 2011


although CCCXV is stretching it a bit
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:18 PM on April 27, 2011


So I can be either:

Lord Augustus Franklin-Oak of Colombia
or
Lord Bob Blackie-Hill of Baseline.

That makes me laugh more than it should.
posted by Tchad at 9:22 PM on April 27, 2011


I'm Lord Jo Pikachu-Hill of Elm Street

(note: can't remember what I named my Pikachu, so the species will have to do)
not that good, really

thinking of working on an FPP about The Crown banning a satirical program about the wedding
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:26 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


I am Lady Julija Aries-Marcelline of Atwater, from the British Columbian Colonies of Canada.

[ flips hair, nods ]

But you can call me Trixie.
posted by seawallrunner at 9:30 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]



Love it: Lady Betty Mae Pebbles-Palmer of Ravensworth (who breeds miniature ponies and has an endless selection of ostrich-feathered hats).
posted by mochapickle at 9:39 PM on April 27, 2011


We should have a series of fancy/ridiculous dress meet-ups where we all attend as our noble selves. Preferbaly in the dirtiest crap-hole bars/pubs available.
posted by KingEdRa at 9:58 PM on April 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


We should have a series of fancy/ridiculous dress meet-ups where we all attend as our noble selves. Preferbaly in the dirtiest crap-hole bars/pubs available.

I'd have to wear a Pikachu tail and a Freddy Krueger glove. No.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:59 PM on April 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Lady Jean Popeye-Chinook of Fig.

Good lord.
posted by palomar at 10:00 PM on April 27, 2011


Lady Viola Seven-Vanguard of Esplanade here, available for dirtiest crap-hole meet-ups.
posted by taz at 10:01 PM on April 27, 2011


Lady Tauba Tweedle-MacRobertson of Newington

How much fun is this?
posted by prettypretty at 10:01 PM on April 27, 2011


I could also be Lady Mary Mama Cat-Terminal XXVII. Oh, heavens, that is just... yeah, wow.
posted by palomar at 10:03 PM on April 27, 2011


Yeah, numbered streets suck. I updated mine with my paternal grandfather+current pet+current street:

Lord Irving Squishy-Palm of Grant

MUCH better.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:05 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Lee Charmin-Bridgeway of Beaverton.

Is this a royal wedding guest thing or a porn star thing?
posted by ryoshu at 10:13 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm either Lady Helen Abigail-Nottingham of Thicket or Lady Barbara Abigail-St. John of Oldlands, depending on how far we're willing to stretch "street you grew up on." Not bad.

My daughter, though? My daughter is Lady Margaret Thor-Earth of 94th Place. Bit of a mouthful, that.
posted by KathrynT at 10:15 PM on April 27, 2011


OR Lady Mary Ash-Whole of 94th Place. That becomes truly unfortunate.
posted by KathrynT at 10:20 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Christ, what an Ash-Whole
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:21 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord Victor Timofei-Stoddert of Godless. Not bad. (I actually did grow up on a street called Godless Lane. It was renamed from, roughly, "Vicar Lane" after the revolution.)
posted by nasreddin at 10:30 PM on April 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


Emperor.
posted by clavdivs at 10:33 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


"Lord William Smith-Brunswick of Brunswick"

Believe it or not, this is just one or two notches more pretentious than my given name.
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:34 PM on April 27, 2011


Lord Maury Dino-Hill-Murray of B

Hmmmmm.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:45 PM on April 27, 2011


What if East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 is your grandparent?
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:46 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Bartholomäus Silberfischchen-Gesundheitswissenschaften of Tiergartenstraße

German is such a wonderful language!
posted by wachhundfisch at 10:47 PM on April 27, 2011 [9 favorites]


Lord Jack Pokey-Assumption of Roadrunner
posted by iamabot at 10:49 PM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord Archie Jack-Bain of Idlefield at your service.

Scone?
posted by device55 at 10:52 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lady Bette Shep-Sexton of Jenna

alternatively:
Lady BJ Bear-Mountain of Thunderhead
but that sounds way more porn name...
posted by polymath at 10:56 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Nicholaas Tosca-Capitol of Tamoshan
posted by maxwelton at 11:14 PM on April 27, 2011


Lady Stirling Sukey-Bremer of Fischer. I kinda like it.
posted by h00py at 11:23 PM on April 27, 2011


Lord Alec Smiggles-Camberwell of Wattle Valley wishes to remind other guests that using one's first pet's name as a Gmail password reset question might result in one missing one's missives, what?
posted by flabdablet at 11:26 PM on April 27, 2011


Oops, that should be Lady Mavis Sukey-Bremer of Fischer. Hmm, Stirling or Mavis. I like both. Decisions, decisions!
posted by h00py at 11:26 PM on April 27, 2011


Lord Niilo Vili-Aalto of Rakennusmestarinkatu doesn't sound very royal.
posted by baueri at 11:30 PM on April 27, 2011


Lord Bartholomäus Silberfischchen-Gesundheitswissenschaften of Tiergartenstraße

Oh, but you use "Windsor" now, don't you?
posted by alasdair at 11:30 PM on April 27, 2011 [14 favorites]


Lord George Basset-Poole of Boscombe.

But then I am British, doncha know. More tea, Vicar?
posted by ArkhanJG at 11:44 PM on April 27, 2011


alasdair: "Lord Bartholomäus Silberfischchen-Gesundheitswissenschaften of Tiergartenstraße

Oh, but you use "Windsor" now, don't you
"

Lord Bartholomew Silverfish-Healthsciences of Animalgarden.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 12:02 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lady Betty Chewy-Goddard of Yellowstone. Look, we're highly respected.
posted by katillathehun at 12:12 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Binyamin Chatul-Oaks of Etiwanda

EPIC
posted by yiftach at 12:13 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Lee Baron-Lundy of Pengra

Wearer of fancy sparklies and purveyor of the finest trout in all the land.
posted by Bibliogeek at 12:20 AM on April 28, 2011


With me not being English/American and all, I end up with:

Lord Hugo Goya-Granly of Pedersgate

How does it sound to you natives?
posted by Harald74 at 12:20 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Virginia Caesar-Vanderbilt of Little Dry Run.

That street name always effs me up. I should use my current street, which makes it Lady Virginia Caesar-Vanderbilt of Genesee.

Much better.
posted by buzzkillington at 12:27 AM on April 28, 2011



They wouldn't let any of you through the door. Sorry.
posted by Major Tom at 12:33 AM on April 28, 2011


I've just realize that I will never, ever, understand the monarchy.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:53 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord John Fudge-Saviour of Noctorum.

I only just noticed that Noctorum is a strange and spooky word. Thanks, Viking invaders!

And thanks EMRJKC94, for distracting me from the 'herd the fucking lot of them into a basement and open fire' sentiments usually inspired by Royal wedding coverage.
posted by jack_mo at 1:13 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Elizabeth Kevin-Columbia of Harding.

Eh. I could also be Lady Barbara Kevin-School of Cobane.

(The pisser of it is that my mom named the puppy "Kevin" without checking under the hood. Fuck you, mom, for screwing up my royal wedding guest name!)
posted by tzikeh at 1:17 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Wesley Pepper-Wells of Flagstone

It just comes naturally, I dunno.
posted by rhizome at 1:30 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Sarah Tycho-MacKinnon of Glen Eira.
posted by Coaticass at 1:53 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Margaret Pansy-Wood of Leggatts.
I can live with that.
posted by talitha_kumi at 2:32 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Maria Diana-Saint Croix, of Century Park
<3
posted by ruelle at 3:54 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Cyril Billy-Burydale of Oakwell
posted by jonnyploy at 4:01 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I suggest an alteration of the rules: if you had a number for the street, change the "of" to "the", thus I'd get to be:

Lord Gladys Riley-Mann the 3rd

(where does it say to match the grandparent's gender? I like Gladys...)
posted by AzraelBrown at 4:22 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Teddy Widdles-Wood of Eric.
posted by Ahab at 4:29 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Adele King-Fairfax of Essex.

Sweet!
posted by garnetgirl at 5:06 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Kelin Tico-Larsen of Pineglade.

Sounds vaguely... pulp fantasy heretical. Curse my poor taste in pet names and/or my grandparents' ethnic names.
posted by Phire at 5:13 AM on April 28, 2011


Pineglade, heir to a vast air freshener fortune.
posted by The Whelk at 5:15 AM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord John Marky-Rogers of Ky SR 715.

Doesn't really work, does it?
posted by Mcable at 5:17 AM on April 28, 2011


Just in case no one's posted this here yet, my favourite 'souvenir' from the Royal Wedding fiasco: Kate Middleton For The Win.
posted by Phire at 5:17 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lady Robert Richard-Cathedral of Newark. We breed curates like there's no tomorrow.
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:18 AM on April 28, 2011


My name is Abbey! To answer your question, I was formed in Youngstown, Ohio back in 1984. I don't have a firm memory of the event, but I believe my mother found me under a cabbage leaf.

As a gay lady, I will get pragnent through some means of artificial insemination--though I am not opposed to adopting.

Hope this helps!
posted by harperpitt at 5:18 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Richard-Cathedral

Dick Cathedral is a gay pulp noir character aching to be born.
posted by The Whelk at 5:21 AM on April 28, 2011


Ooh! Lady Pearle Inga-Lineweaver of Greenlee.

Pardon me for a moment whilst I don flowy robes and dust off my indeterminate Scandinavian accent.
posted by shiu mai baby at 5:26 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Amelie Butterball-Beaumont of Craine, at your service.

I say, this really is frightfully fun, what?
posted by kinnakeet at 5:31 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Henry-Patch Woodside of Hawthorn Grove. I shall be taking dinner at the Club this evening as usual, my dear.
posted by Myeral at 5:39 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Francis Wilbur-Hopkins of Malthouse. Can I get a what what?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:41 AM on April 28, 2011


Dick Cathedral is a gay pulp noir character aching to be born.

"It was a dark and stormy night when Cathedral strode across the rainy city to clue Lady Butterball-Beaumont in that the jig was up. At the sight of him standing in the doorway, tall, unmerciful, Amelie's face creased with the advent of womanly tears. "Dick," she murmured bashfully. "Surely... there must be some way to circumvent this unpleasantness? Tell me that isn't a gun in your pocket! For God's own love, tell me you're just happy to see me!"

"No dice, old thing. Patch-Woodside confessed all to Wilbur-Hopkins and myself. Moreover, I don't exactly dance at your end of the ballroom, what what?"
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:47 AM on April 28, 2011 [13 favorites]


Lady Ruth Monsea-McGill of Orange. Oooooooo! Posh! And she probably looks vaguely like the Bostonian who married into the family back when there was a trend for American heiresses to attach themselves to titles. Someone from Boston and like some guy shaped like a cello whose claim to fame was coming over with James I and having a portrait painted with a goat, in a purple velvet jacket, and achieving relative power for his talent for finding anything said by the monarch funny.


I actually find myself strangely interested in the royal wedding. Must be a common wealth thing.
posted by Phalene at 5:47 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Nathaniel Nothing-Wilder of Player

hooray for never owning a pet!
posted by Eideteker at 5:48 AM on April 28, 2011


Choosing the nearest named street to the numbered street I grew up on, and changing the first pet to current pet, I get: Lady Margaret Charles-Addams of Alton. Not bad.
posted by litlnemo at 5:48 AM on April 28, 2011


This is just more evidence that we need a massive multiplayer jeeves and wooster game like yesterday.
posted by The Whelk at 5:51 AM on April 28, 2011 [10 favorites]


Lady Dorothy Nigel-Isle of Caswell

I'm pretty sure this name will actually get me a wedding invitation today. [paints nails, waits at door]
posted by theredpen at 5:55 AM on April 28, 2011


The Isle of Nigel is very damp and cold but serves excellent crust-less sandwiches.
posted by The Whelk at 6:00 AM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord Password Password of Password.

(Oh shit...looks like I'll be changing stuff on the Internets all day!)
posted by bengalsfan1 at 6:02 AM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Viscount Michael Edward-Concordia of the 21st, UEL.

Hmm, I think I've got my regimental tie somewhere... Also, you too can have a string of letters after your name, granted by the crown. As long as you were on the right side of that tussle in the Colonies, fwhat.
posted by LD Feral at 6:03 AM on April 28, 2011


My lords, ladies and gentlemen, please provide a moment's respectful silence for...

Lord Jack Timmy-Queen of Queen Mary

Easily the most rugged and rogersome of the Lord's names so far, I think you'll agree.
posted by Decani at 6:04 AM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord Herbert Tiger-Greythorn of Sweyn

Good lord.
posted by deadwax at 6:08 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Joseph Shadow-Dartmouth of Oaks

I'm like some dark baron, face half covered by shadow, waiting to usurp the throne.
posted by SNWidget at 6:12 AM on April 28, 2011


My kids get screwed:

Allow me to introduce my son, Lord This-House-Is-Too-Small-For-A-Pet-Imai of Japanese-Streets-Don't-Have-Names
posted by Bugbread at 6:13 AM on April 28, 2011 [8 favorites]


Lord Joseph Pookie-Holmes of Cherry

regrets to inform Her Majesty he will not be attending, as his motor yacht was wrecked en-route from Goa, he losing his trunk of afternoon kit and being forced to eat his batman. He begs to present, however, this leopard-skin tea cozie as a token of respect and affection upon the occasion of the Prince's nuptial day.
posted by Chrischris at 6:16 AM on April 28, 2011


Sorry, "Lord Thomas This-House-Is-Too-Small-For-A-Pet-Imai of Japanese-Streets-Don't-Have-Names". I don't want to give anyone the mistaken impression that my dad's first name is "This-House-Is-Too-Small-For-A-Pet".
posted by Bugbread at 6:29 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lady Margaret Cinderella-Peas of Mozelle. I take half and half in my tea, thank you.

Enjoying the fuck out of this thread.
posted by marginaliana at 6:30 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Rose Tiger-Cross of Calgary.
posted by contessa at 6:32 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Constance Killer-Walker of Magnolia, how do you do?
posted by fancyoats at 6:37 AM on April 28, 2011


I don't know my grandparents' names.

However, I do get a day off tomorrow so I WIN.


(Also The Body Shop gave me a cupcake and I didn't even purchase their wares.)
posted by mippy at 6:41 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Thelma Chesterton-Saints of Sandridge.

Lovely to meet you all.
posted by She Kisses Wyverns at 6:42 AM on April 28, 2011


This thread is jam-packed full of win.

Everyone, there's a gathering at the Fudge-Saviours'. BYOB.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:43 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Helen Lucky-Eliot of Marigold

::curtseys::
posted by epersonae at 6:44 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Rose Tiger-Cross of Calgary.

...head of the Assassin guild.
posted by The Whelk at 6:50 AM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Lord Richard Boo Boo-Shutesbury of Main

rah rah rah! we're going to smash the oiks!
posted by Spatch at 6:58 AM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Westminster Abbey -- Gorgeous, but it cost me £13 to get in with a student discount (which the attendant did not want to give me, as my student card didn't have an "end" date on it -- my end date is whenever I finish my dissertation) as opposed to the regular £16 fee.
posted by dhens at 7:00 AM on April 28, 2011


fyi, your royal wedding guest name is Lord/Lady NameOfGrandparent FirstPetName Hyphen WordFromNameOfSchoolYouHaveAttended "of" StreetYouGrewUpOn

Lord John Chaucer-Cunningham of Wentworth. Excellent.

Of course, going for the least evocative possibilities, this renders me as Lord Earle Winky-Delta of Discovery, who I think stood as the Silly Party candidate in Chipping Barnet in the most recent UK general election.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:03 AM on April 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


I'm not sure I want to see Earl's winky delta of discover.
posted by The Whelk at 7:07 AM on April 28, 2011


y.
posted by The Whelk at 7:07 AM on April 28, 2011


y not?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:10 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord David Bear-Goodsell of Droitwich

...Raises head from contemplative pose, absently strokes mustache and greying beard...

Perfect.
posted by LoraxGuy at 7:25 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Arthur Simon-Stewart of Melville.

YES.

Could've just as easily been Lord Louis Thurber-Moore County of Stirrup.
posted by grubi at 7:27 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Arthur Simon-Stewart of Melville.

Just realized, er, realised that the initials spell ASS.

Which makes it even awesomer.
posted by grubi at 7:28 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Phyllis Cufflinks-Nightengale of Nightengale.

I live on brandy and blancmange, wear a fascinator even in the bath, inspect my home nightly for infestations of Communists and haven't changed out of my wedding dress since I was jilted at the altar in 1954.

Scotch egg?
posted by stuck on an island at 7:32 AM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


My school was Windsor, and my street Prince Charles Boulevard... so I guess I can't really play this game :(
posted by Meatbomb at 7:34 AM on April 28, 2011


Scotch egg?

But of cawse. Up for some croquet and taxing the peasants later?
posted by grubi at 7:39 AM on April 28, 2011


We should have a series of fancy/ridiculous dress meet-ups where we all attend as our noble selves. Preferbaly in the dirtiest crap-hole bars/pubs available.

This, a thousand bloody times.
posted by grubi at 7:49 AM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord Newriders of the Purple Sage.

Keeper of the orb, sceptre, sword and spurs.
posted by Shike at 7:53 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Josephine St. Helen-Alliance of Rosewood.


TOP THAT.
posted by functionequalsform at 7:59 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Rose Brandy-Longfellow of Mayflower

Not bad.
posted by desjardins at 8:04 AM on April 28, 2011


German is such a wonderful language!


Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dingle -dangle -dongle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker - thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle -grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser - kurstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -ein -nürnburger -bratwustle -gerspurten -mitz -weimache - auuber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker-kalbsfleisch -mittler -aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
posted by functionequalsform at 8:06 AM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Lady Josephine St. Helen-Alliance of Rosewood.

This is the exact middle point between "Aristocrat" and "Stripper"
posted by The Whelk at 8:06 AM on April 28, 2011 [6 favorites]


Lady Virginia Snickers-Orchard of Brookwood

I would like an orchard of Snickers.
posted by troika at 8:25 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lady Bertha Fatso-St.Vincent of Forestwood.
posted by emeiji at 8:29 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is just more evidence that we need a massive multiplayer jeeves and wooster game like yesterday.
posted by The Whelk at 1:51 PM on April 28
This.
posted by MessageInABottle at 8:31 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Edwin Chirp-Preparatory of Interlaken
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 8:32 AM on April 28, 2011




Lady Marie Hercules-Elms of Mayfair

Bite Me.
posted by redfisch at 9:47 AM on April 28, 2011


Hello. Lord Oscar Bilbo-Evergreen of Belvedere. So pleased you could come.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 9:48 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Harvey BowWow-Rutgers of Juniper.

I sound like a disgruntled pug.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 9:49 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord William Wussy-Rougemont of Holland.

Ah Wussy, you were a good cat but you keep ruining games like this for me :-(
posted by Lucien Dark at 10:02 AM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord Peter Sable-Cougar of Drycliff

Heh, guess my crest would have some cats on it.
posted by sideshow at 10:18 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord John Atticus-Churchdown of Mandeville. I think my seat's in the front row somewhere...

awesome post
posted by Hartham's Hugging Robots at 10:22 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Gloria Belle-Hollins of Westwood.
posted by thivaia at 10:34 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord William Soleil-Tabor of Laddington.

Hey, pretty good.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:34 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Geneva Copper-Forest of Arlington.

You may kiss the hand.
posted by cereselle at 10:37 AM on April 28, 2011


Alright, fine:

Lady Sara Zach-York of Oakwood. Distantly related to Lord Revilo Casey-Windham of Oakwood.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:47 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Margaret Ginger-Churchville of Whittier.

I think I could actually fool somebody with this one.
posted by slmorri at 10:56 AM on April 28, 2011


Lord Edward Oedipus-Thomas A'Beckett of Heatherstone.

Fuck yeah.
posted by longbaugh at 11:43 AM on April 28, 2011


"I hear that Lord Edward of Heatherstone is one bad..."

"Shut your mouth!"
posted by longbaugh at 11:43 AM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Pretty sure I've told this one here before, but I'll take any opportunity to retell it again, thanks.

Couple of years ago, I was invited to lunch at the Lords Dining Room.

There are a range of dining facilities at the House of Lords, most of which has a low ratio of peers to plebs, but the Lords Dining Room is the one where all the bastards actually feed themselves.

As usual, I fucked the whole thing up. There was a local train strike, so despite being up in plenty of time, I couldn't get a taxi to Lime Street. I missed the train that I should have been on, and wound up being 45 minutes late.

Rather than going in with my colleagues and the peer that had invited us, the peer had to leave the lunch and come down to get me. As we met, I saw her raking me over with her eyes and realized -- I'd turned up for lunch at the oldest gentlemen's club in the universe, and I was dressed inappropriately. What the fuck made me think I could get in without a jacket and tie? Polo shirt and chinos just wasn't going to cut it.

To cut a very long story very short, she despatched me with one of the ushers -- those cunts who look like they should be stood outside a cinema or a hotel -- to find appropriate attire, and the snidey little fuck managed to dredge up a yellow paisley tie that was outrageous even by 1970's standards, and an Old School blazer that was three sizes too short and three sizes too wide.

By the time I made it to the lunch table, I was the only obviously homeless guy in the room. Michael Foot is at the table to the right of us, Norman Tebbit was at the table to the left. And I was at the table that wanted a hole to open up in the ground and swallow us up.

As a little ice breaker, I thought I'd tell what I thought was a cute story about the previous time I'd been at the House of Lords.

I'd been 12 or 13 at the time, and our local MP, the Right Honourable Eric Heffer had arranged us to visit as part of our British Constitution class.

As the tour got into the second chamber, the guide told us how there were only two capital offences left on the statute books. The first was treason. The second was for someone who wasn't the leader of the House of Lords to plonk their fat arse on the Woolsack.

On hearing this, I couldn't stop myself from hiding out behind the benches until our group had moved on, at which point I snook out and sat on that Woolsack for a good two minutes, rubbing my pubescent buttocks over every nook and cranny.

Well, I thought it was a cute story. The peer who had invited me made a face like I'd just shat in the punchbowl. Obviously, they take this shit seriously. They wouldn't let you be one if you didn't take this shit seriously.

Anyway, the highlight of the trip, for me, was after lunch, I went to relieve myself in the lavatories where our noble lords spread their ample behinds and pinch off a right honourable loaf.

The pissoir was a pretty bog-standard urinal -- eight or ten stalls, all lined up next to each other, dividing the usual piss-trough. The one unique feature was the twelve inch high sheet of glass that ran the length of the piss-trough, the purpose of which I can only assume was to prevent the ermine from being splashed as Black Rod handled his White Rod (or as they handled each others rods while engaging in the sport of High Stakes Cottaging.)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:45 AM on April 28, 2011 [12 favorites]


I was wondering why the fuck this post had so many comments...

Lady Hattie Marty Fish-Louisville of Wiedeman?

Does not work.

Rum & Monkey gave me: Margaret Butcher. I'll take it.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:45 AM on April 28, 2011


Lady Wilhelmina Greycloud-Rogers of Glenn.

Which sounds almost plausible, so I am also Lady Jeri Raisin-John of 14th St.
posted by goofyfoot at 11:47 AM on April 28, 2011


I am apparently then Lady Elizabeth KITTY!!!!-Emerson of West 52nd St.

Now where do I get my Official Royal Stationary printed at?
posted by spinifex23 at 11:53 AM on April 28, 2011


I like the idea of using my current pet and street.

Lady Mildred Mildred-Essex of Boston.

(My cat is named after my grandmother, who hated cats.)
posted by maryr at 11:54 AM on April 28, 2011


Oh, and it's apparently South 52nd St. Oops.

Thanks, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Thanks a whole lot. Your love of grids and numbers and logic ruined a perfectly good Internet meme.
posted by spinifex23 at 11:55 AM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Elizabeth West-KITTY!!!!, 52nd Duchess of Emerson
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:07 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord George Havoc-Fairfield of Oxford

Keeper of the Peace, Defender of the Realm.
posted by PROD_TPSL at 12:12 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Otis Midnight-Anderson of Home Farm
posted by Ranucci at 12:35 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Louis Simba-Huckleberry of Rural Route Six, represent!
posted by zippy at 12:40 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lady Larry Fluffy-South of Moffat, ready for tea sandwiches.
posted by rmless at 12:55 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Edward Oedipus-Francis of Saunders, at your service.
posted by bashos_frog at 12:56 PM on April 28, 2011


Current pet and current address?

Lord Arthur Simon-Stewart of Longfellow. :-)
posted by grubi at 1:18 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Gillman PooPee-Grenville of Beaufort

Genuine sounding? So close and yet so far.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:20 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Edward Oedipus-Thomas A'Beckett of Heatherstone.

Lord Edward Oedipus-Francis of Saunders.


Two houses. Both alike in naming pets,
In fair Metafilter where we lay our scene.
posted by longbaugh at 1:25 PM on April 28, 2011 [7 favorites]


Ne'er shall we find the Heatherstones meet the Saunders in peace.
posted by grubi at 1:26 PM on April 28, 2011


What of noble PooPee?
posted by The Whelk at 1:28 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


I can't stop loling at this thread.
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:29 PM on April 28, 2011


Lady Anne Shadow-Sandburg of Whitcomb. /curtsy

It's a little non-traditional but I quite like Shadow-Sandburg.
posted by mandanza at 1:37 PM on April 28, 2011


All right, now that we've got the naming schemes done, let's begin planning a meeting of the MetaPeerage.
posted by grubi at 1:38 PM on April 28, 2011


I suppose we should compare crap-holes to see which is dirtiest
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 1:51 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Earl Leopold-King of Saddlebrooke.

Sort of broke the naming scheme there, especially if you use the cat's full name. Then it's Lord Earl Leopold I of Belgium-King of Saddlebrooke.
posted by jedicus at 1:52 PM on April 28, 2011


Sorry, East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94, I cawn't be bawthuh'd. I'll send my valet to do so.
posted by grubi at 1:54 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


How do we arrange the peerage chart aside from putting me at the top?
posted by The Whelk at 1:56 PM on April 28, 2011


Well, if we can use our current pets and street:

Lady Helen Piper-Berkeley....of SATURN!
posted by mogget at 2:15 PM on April 28, 2011


How do we arrange the peerage chart aside from putting me at the top?

By party. All of the members of the Birthday Party on one side, members of the Surprise Party on the other.

Members of the Lemon party will be asked to leave.
posted by grubi at 2:37 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lady Joyce Hamlet-Lincoln Framingham. hm, could work :)
posted by By The Grace of God at 2:50 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Grandpa Dog - University 50th St.

I like it!
posted by quin at 3:23 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lord Victor Spinner-Willow of Cedar

Present!
posted by JoeXIII007 at 3:42 PM on April 28, 2011


Additionally, just to be clear, I am not the only one who thought, on preview with no thread title, this was another thread about either reproduction or reproductive rights, right?
posted by JoeXIII007 at 3:45 PM on April 28, 2011


How do we arrange the peerage chart aside from putting me at the top?

I know precisely where I go.
posted by contessa at 4:24 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Warren Doobie-Normal of Quetta.

I hung out with the Beatles in India.
posted by roobot at 4:34 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lord Shantanu Eric-Williston of Clairmont.

That "Shantanu" just gives it the touch of class the peerage has been missing, I think.
posted by Errant at 4:47 PM on April 28, 2011


How do we arrange the peerage chart aside from putting me at the top?

Ahem.

What did you just say, grasshopper?
posted by Meatbomb at 6:12 PM on April 28, 2011


I meant first among equals, of course.

Let' us meet at Lord Doobie-Normal's country estate to take in the air and discuss the social organization.
posted by The Whelk at 6:31 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Senoelo Murphy-Heisenberg of Uranusweg.

I guess, despite what I'd been thinking, it is my destiny to move to the Outer Planets and Rule the Solar System with a Titanium Fist. I shall be kind, but stern.


Thirty years on, and I still miss Murphy. Best Dog EVER.
posted by Minus215Cee at 6:36 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


well now we know who gets the Spice colony.
posted by The Whelk at 6:38 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Powers Turtle-Todd of Carleton.

FTW.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:49 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Powers Turtle-Todd sounds like a Ms. Marple villain written by Grant Morrison.
posted by The Whelk at 6:52 PM on April 28, 2011


Let' us meet at Lord Doobie-Normal's country estate to take in the air

Yeah. The air. Heh.
posted by grubi at 9:26 PM on April 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


Lord Joseph Theodore-Alphonsus of Beaumont.

Excellent!
posted by estuardo at 10:06 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Joseph Theodore-Alphonsus of Beaumont.

Is made of velvet

and sighs.
posted by The Whelk at 10:48 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Well, it's a hell of a thread. What do you call it?
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:53 PM on April 28, 2011


Lady Geneva Maximillian-Heights Soulé

What up, nerds, that's a legit monikker right there! Even if it does sound like the name of some obsequious apartment complex or something...
posted by patronuscharms at 10:57 PM on April 28, 2011


*of Soulé
posted by patronuscharms at 10:57 PM on April 28, 2011


Lady Wilhelmina Ashley-Adams of Valmont
posted by JujuB at 11:02 PM on April 28, 2011


Lady Wilhelmina Ashley-Adams of Valmont

Owner of the largest collection of fainting couches in the western hemisphere.
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Mine are all in Spanish, but a literal translation gives:

Lord Joseph Dark-Jesuit of the Giralda.1

I love it. I love the inquisitorial undertones. The Giralda is a minaret built in the 1100s in Seville, turned to a Cathedral bell tower in the mid 1200s.

Damned Heretic Anglicans lost my invitation.

1(Don José Bruno-Jesuita de Giralda)
posted by Dr. Curare at 11:06 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


That might be my favorite so far. God, these are wonderful.
posted by taz at 11:11 PM on April 28, 2011


Lord Norman Spotty-Knoxdale of Bourbon
posted by Hoopo at 2:13 AM on April 29, 2011


Lady Rachel Foxy-Yorba of Diamond
posted by deborah at 3:27 AM on April 29, 2011


Lady Helen Killer-Foster of 72nd.

Not a fantastic royal name, but I'm all set if I ever take up roller derby.
posted by Dojie at 5:57 AM on April 29, 2011


Lord John Joesph Hoopie - Purdue of Kimball.
posted by COD at 6:49 AM on April 29, 2011


Lord Norman Buffy-Cretin of Summit.

Uh, oh: sounds like another one of those jumped-up grocers as in "To the Manor Born"...
posted by wenestvedt at 7:26 AM on April 29, 2011


But congratulations for rising above your humble beginnings at Cretin School!
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:37 AM on April 29, 2011


How dare you? it was named for Baron Cretin!
posted by grubi at 8:41 AM on April 29, 2011


Ah yes, Baron Cretin Von Stupid-Face.

Many of these surnames come from the anicent Metafilterian tradition of allowing the in-laws to add a middle name to the son or daughter in law during the marriage to ensure that the old names survive, leading to such luminaries as Baron Rothchild Worthless-Cad Reading of Chartoon and Lady Alexandria Slut-Bucket Filroy of Filroy.
posted by The Whelk at 8:47 AM on April 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


Not enough foreign "of" in here (e.g. de, du, von, van).



signed,
Lord Arthur Thurber-Stewart of/de/von Melville.

posted by grubi at 8:53 AM on April 29, 2011


Lady Beatrice Peewee-Nightingale of Retreat. Or Lady Faith Peewee-Heavenly Rest of Fifth.
posted by nickyskye at 3:42 PM on April 29, 2011


Lady Marianne Abigail-Hampshire of Houghton.

And may I introduce you to my son: William Wensleydale of Westminster.

And my maiden name? Buckingham. Yes, those Buckinghams. Bunch of jerks all in their "palace."
posted by sonika at 4:46 PM on April 29, 2011


Lady Beatrice Peewee-Nightingale of Retreat.

On the head of Princess Beatrice, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
posted by homunculus at 4:59 PM on April 29, 2011 [3 favorites]


Lady Constance Killer-Walker of Magnolia
Lady Helen Killer-Foster of 72nd


Make sure to seat the Killer-Fosters and the Killer-Walkers on opposite sides of the hall. The family schism runs deep, and if they are forced to spend time together things tend to get a bit, well, messy...
posted by polymath at 6:19 PM on April 29, 2011 [5 favorites]


Lady Cornelia Cinder-Pinewood of Exmoor. I think I'll keep it.
posted by oneirodynia at 8:14 PM on April 29, 2011


East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 You've endangered countless lives with your comment. There are those among us who have not only already played your little name generating game, but they also believe in reincarnation. You and I may wish to play the game again, but we both know we can't. But there are those who believe they can, and they'll be living their lives fast and reckless from here on out. They've got 30 days to live before the comments close, and that's enough time for them to get in their car and go. These people are on the roads now, East Manitoba. They are driving by schools and pedestrian orphanages. They know they can't off themselves the easy way; simple suicide is no way to get on to Metafilter with a new birth street, pet name, grandparent, and school. They need to die and get reborn to a well organized upper middle class family with a willingness to ruin their child's youth with strict plans devised before their birth. Such a cosmic punishment means murder of innocents. They only have a month, East Manitoba. One Month. Who knows what will they do now, but whatever they do, it all rests on your shoulders now. Sleep easy, antichrist.
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:08 PM on April 29, 2011 [3 favorites]


Look, I know I'm crazy late, but I'd be

Lady Muriel Duffy-Steeple of Sleepy Hollow, later to become Lady Muriel Duffy-Madison of Sleepy Hollow. Yes, it was a scandal. No, I do not wish to rehash it. Cucumber crustless sandwhich?

Lurve it, ta.

Of course, my son would be
Lord Thomas Matilda-Joyful of (the) 79th. So that's... weird.
posted by e to the pi i at 12:56 AM on April 30, 2011


My first pet was named Woogie, but I only know of him through stories and not memories. The first pet I remember was unfortunately named Lady, which would make for a bit of gender-confusion in my MeFi-given royal moniker. The first pet that was truly mine was named Reebok, but that's just ridiculous. So I'll go with the nickname of my current pet. Official documentation refers to him as Sir Budrick the Lion-Hearted Mutt, but we just call him Buddie.

So that gives me:

Lord Vincent Buddie-Florida of Fatima

Not bad.
posted by GatorDavid at 12:32 PM on April 30, 2011


Lord Walter Lily-Melville of Sedgewick
posted by exlotuseater at 11:46 PM on April 30, 2011


Lady Edna Renegade-Sullivan of Rincon Villa

This is just a sly way to learn my first pet's name so you can have all my passwords, isn't it?
posted by SLC Mom at 10:42 AM on May 1, 2011


I spent way too much time deciding this. I had no pets with names so I had to borrow the first one that belonged to my sisters, thanks to divorce I didn't want to decide on which street I officially "grew up" on (especially since the leading candidate was Avenue 57,) and I went to a bunch of schools, then was homeschooled. So, as befits a royal wedding name, this came about only after lots of compromises, and yet, is relatively awesome, in an exhausting kind of way.

Lady Agnes Fawkes-Stowers of Simsbury

(and yes, my sister really did name her hermit crab Guy Fawkes.)
posted by SMPA at 2:02 PM on May 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


You shall properly address us as Lady Ellen Sam-St. John of San Pedro.

I missed out on the chance to be royally redundant by growing up one street too far to the south. The next block north was San Juan.

(For an extra-Victorian upper crust, I can pronounce it Sinjin.)
posted by cmyk at 7:11 PM on May 1, 2011


Lady Elva Biggles-Mangoplah of Caithness.

Oh dear.
posted by pseudonymph at 11:56 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]


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