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Cat Scratch Fever
May 8, 2011 7:15 PM   Subscribe


 
DON'T TELL THE FURRIES!
posted by hippybear at 7:16 PM on May 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


Probably keep this out of the hands of the cosplayers too.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:17 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Pfft, they didn't look real at all.
posted by Glinn at 7:19 PM on May 8, 2011


I need these, and a tail I can wag, and I'll be able to stand up to all those people who look at my face and go "WHY ARE YOU SO SAD?!"
posted by The otter lady at 7:19 PM on May 8, 2011 [9 favorites]


Adorable.
posted by kafziel at 7:23 PM on May 8, 2011


kill it with fire.
It's like a pair of tribbles humping your cerebral cortex.
posted by aloiv2 at 7:23 PM on May 8, 2011 [19 favorites]


I totally want these.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:25 PM on May 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


If you must, don't forget the right legwear or at least the rights shoes.
posted by Glinn at 7:31 PM on May 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


damn typo
posted by Glinn at 7:32 PM on May 8, 2011


I hope they come with a fluorescent orange visibility vest for hunting season.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:33 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I want this - IN MY PANTS!
posted by unliteral at 7:38 PM on May 8, 2011


I want ears that lay back when I am enraged.

If it could come with a bristly tail that thumps furiously at the same time, while I make a sound like a manic chainsaw, that would be most excellent.
posted by winna at 7:51 PM on May 8, 2011 [31 favorites]


MetaFilter: It's like a pair of tribbles humping cortex.
posted by charred husk at 7:52 PM on May 8, 2011 [13 favorites]


Cat ears are a pretty bland application, but the underlying idea, a simple mind-control interface for hardware, has a lot of potential.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 7:53 PM on May 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Why does that dude have a fountain pen cap shoved in his ear?
posted by b1tr0t at 7:54 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I fully expect to see Andorian Antennae versions of these at the next DragonCon.
posted by fings at 7:56 PM on May 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Something something prehensile unicorn horn.



Why does that dude have a fountain pen cap shoved in his ear?

He's from the future.
posted by device55 at 7:56 PM on May 8, 2011 [12 favorites]


May 8th, 2011

The day that Earth came to realize that the invasion of the machines had already begun. It started when we first let them our thoughts. Not long after that, they were stealing them, and replacing them with their own. Cat ears were just the beginning. In short order, there were dog ears....

And the rest was history.
posted by Krazor at 7:59 PM on May 8, 2011


Wow, metafilter, I thought you were above the furry hate, the lot of you.

And I want these.
posted by strixus at 8:05 PM on May 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


Damn it, the singularity is just going to turn life into an anime I can't turn off, isn't it?
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:06 PM on May 8, 2011 [15 favorites]


I don't know - it doesn't seem to work well with my tin foil cap..
posted by Metro Gnome at 8:07 PM on May 8, 2011


I don't see any furry hate in this thread. Where are you seeing hate? There's not a hateful word that's been typed into this comment stream.
posted by hippybear at 8:07 PM on May 8, 2011


The horror....the horror.
posted by TrialByMedia at 8:10 PM on May 8, 2011


This will soon be deployed in progressive, dynamic office environments worldwide as a mandatory "employee morale biofeedback communication device" to facilitate "stress management" and "honest workplace communication" tools.
posted by loquacious at 8:23 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


This will soon be deployed in progressive, dynamic office environments worldwide as a mandatory "employee morale biofeedback communication device" to facilitate "stress management" and "honest workplace communication" tools.

I approve of this. Particularly anything involving customer relations - maybe they can be built into the hats at fast food places.

Relatedly, I am really curious about whether those digitigrade leg estensions are for sale yet. The site hasn't been updated since November!
posted by kafziel at 8:29 PM on May 8, 2011


This makes me want a prehensile tail. Like, one that could hold a flashlight. Or drink. It'd be so useful!
posted by flaterik at 8:30 PM on May 8, 2011


On the one hand, ears that lay back when I'm pissed off would be cool.

On the other hand, apparently my body language is already expressive enough re: anger.

On the gripping hand, I already have something that stands up when I'm "concentrating", and I have to dress to make it less obvious.
posted by rodgerd at 8:31 PM on May 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


I suspect these will mostly be used by annoying people. But anything that brings me closer to never having to use my body or limbs is awesome.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 8:35 PM on May 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Mood ears.

This trip through the 70's again sure has gotten weirder.
posted by jenkinsEar at 8:38 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


If you keep these away from the furries and the cosplayers, what would be the point?

It would be like showing a child pictures of all the awesome presents they weren't getting for Christmas. Cruel.
posted by running order squabble fest at 8:44 PM on May 8, 2011 [10 favorites]


kafziel: And then we have a generation of fast food workers/zen masters who are capable of perfectly regulating their emotional states at will.

3 years in food service will leave people capable of killing without any feeling at all.

Well moreso than it already does.
posted by Grimgrin at 8:49 PM on May 8, 2011 [12 favorites]


I want a pair in every damn color. Now.
posted by Space Kitty at 8:52 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I love living in the future.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 9:14 PM on May 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


My ten-year-old self wants a pair of brain-reading cat ears.
My fifteen-year-old self worries she's too old for brain-reading cat ears.
My twenty-year-old self is mentally wearing them with her renaissance faire garb. To class.
My twenty-five-year-old self is soooooo over that shit.
My current self wishes for a place to wear these and thinks she would probably also need striped arm warmers and one of those dinosaur hoodies.
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 9:20 PM on May 8, 2011 [22 favorites]


This makes me want a prehensile tail. Like, one that could hold a flashlight. Or drink.

I think I can drink well enough using my mouth.
posted by hattifattener at 9:21 PM on May 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


I wouldn't mind a few extra limbs. Ever since I was a kid the human form seemed really inefficient and seemed like it could be improved with tentacles, wings, or bionic arms.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:24 PM on May 8, 2011


What about a hat you can put beer in?
posted by Artw at 9:35 PM on May 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Looking back I think it should have been obvious things were headed the wrong way after the prehensile beer hat fad. We were just all caught up in getting past the societal - and actual -damage that resulted from those lost years that we didn't really stop and think about what it meant. In hindsight though, the horrible truth is that we may have been right about them and the fake animal ears: they really were the greatest achievement we managed in our short life as a species.

Well I better get back to fighting the guy in the ruins next to mine for drinkable water!
posted by freebird at 9:42 PM on May 8, 2011


human form seemed really inefficient and seemed like it could be improved with tentacles

posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn

eponysterical
posted by exlotuseater at 10:08 PM on May 8, 2011 [5 favorites]


I'll be able to stand up to all those people who look at my face and go "WHY ARE YOU SO SAD?!"

Also, if you know how to read cats' ears, these really aren't working right.
posted by you're a kitty! at 10:24 PM on May 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


(Sorta related) all-time favourite joke:

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

posted by KirkpatrickMac at 10:27 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ha ha, domestic abuse.
posted by kafziel at 10:31 PM on May 8, 2011 [5 favorites]


I would like a pair of these. But not activated by my brainwaves. No, because then the ears would become an eye into my very soul.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 11:47 PM on May 8, 2011


Dammit, now I want a chocolate glazed doughnut.
posted by MexicanYenta at 11:53 PM on May 8, 2011


When the first comment is "Don't tell the furries" that sure reads like furry hate to me.

I still want these. I would TEACH in them.
posted by strixus at 12:09 AM on May 9, 2011


Of course you'd make these first. Damn you. You couldn't put together a mind controlled spiky crusher plate or a mind controlled robot crusher arm or even a mind controlled spiky death wheel crusher... thing...

You had to make cat ears.

I hate you so much.
posted by Slackermagee at 12:16 AM on May 9, 2011


Oh darn. I wanted brain-eating cat ears.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:52 AM on May 9, 2011


When the first comment is "Don't tell the furries" that sure reads like furry hate to me.

If that's your idea of "hate", you have bigger problems than being 4chan's favourite target. Like that gigantic stick in yer bum.
posted by rodgerd at 1:32 AM on May 9, 2011 [7 favorites]


I'm waiting for a bunny ears version.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:44 AM on May 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Dunno if you guys clicked through already, but the latest entry on their site has a great video of people at an exhibition trying the ears on and practicing various emotions (concentration, relaxation, thinking of good feelings) to get the ears to respond...entertaining.

Thanks, this is fun.
posted by dubitable at 1:47 AM on May 9, 2011


Of course you'd make these first. Damn you. You couldn't put together a mind controlled spiky crusher plate or a mind controlled robot crusher arm or even a mind controlled spiky death wheel crusher... thing...

You had to make cat ears.

I hate you so much.


Duh, they're Japanese, what did you THINK they'd make?

But don't worry, the robot crusher arm thing will assuredly be next. Er, however it will be a cat robot crusher arm.
posted by dubitable at 1:50 AM on May 9, 2011


I'd like to see a video of a few hundred people watching a movie in a theatre while wearing these. Or on a rollercoaster.

If I ever get one of these, I'll have to hack it so the ears start spinning rapidly in opposite directions at random moments. "yeah, what am I thinking NOW?"
posted by vanar sena at 2:43 AM on May 9, 2011


slackermcgee: Of course you'd make these first. Damn you. You couldn't put together a mind controlled spiky crusher plate or a mind controlled robot crusher arm or even a mind controlled spiky death wheel crusher... thing...

You're playing the short game. Cosplayers are some of the greatest mechanical minds on the planet. First they'll extend it to bunny ears, then to tails, then to prehensile tails, then to cherub wings, then to angel wings, then to shoulder-mounted laser cannon.

Give this to the military-industrial complex, and they will mess around for years trying to squeeze money out of governments to develop technology you won't even get to play with. Give it to the cosplayers? Robot battlesuit how-to on YouTube in a year, tops.
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:46 AM on May 9, 2011 [8 favorites]


I too have to admit I totally want these. Even better though, I'd love to see them bring out a standard interface that people can start playing with to make other things.

I made a Sim costume once, which was pretty much just a green paper plumb-bob with a torch hanging inside to light it up. I hear it did start to tip over as the whisky took effect, but with one of these things, you could actually make it fade from green to red.
posted by lucidium at 3:00 AM on May 9, 2011


These are so cool. I love them but still I would be embarrassed to have two [more] things that involuntarily stand up when I am interested.
posted by MtDewd at 3:23 AM on May 9, 2011


I do not want these, but love the tech behind it and I, too, want to see a kit that lets me use brainwaves as input for anything.

LJ mood messages, orbital death rays, the list is endless.
posted by _Lasar at 3:44 AM on May 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I like to make fun of my cat by putting my hands up by my head and imitating his ear movements. If these ears had a "halfway back when confused or annoyed" setting, I'd have to get them.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:21 AM on May 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Christopher Walken would want a tail.
posted by orme at 4:54 AM on May 9, 2011


I, too, want to see a kit that lets me use brainwaves as input for anything.

You can use brainwaves to control your nerf gun.
posted by Vibrissa at 5:57 AM on May 9, 2011


Do want!
But as Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger said, would also need an appropriate place to wear them.
posted by Theta States at 6:13 AM on May 9, 2011


They are too large, nekomimi should be sleek and perky.
posted by Iron Rat at 7:44 AM on May 9, 2011


Er, however it will be a cat robot crusher arm.

Now I am confused. Is this:
a robot arm for crushing cats? (bad)
an arm for crushing cat robots (maybe OK, if they are troublesome cat robots)
a crusher arm for your cat robot (maybe OK, if you trust your cat robot's programming)
a robot crusher arm for your cat (Are You Out of Your Mind!?! At dinner time*, instead of meowing, it will be crushing!)

*or estimated dinner time, which is worse
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:55 AM on May 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


GenjiandProust, I definitely thinking of #3
posted by dubitable at 9:07 AM on May 9, 2011


...I was definitely...
posted by dubitable at 9:10 AM on May 9, 2011


Cat tails are extremely expressive. I want a cat tail. But we will probably need better neuroscience in order to read my moods with enough precision.
posted by Galaxor Nebulon at 9:25 AM on May 9, 2011


If you keep these away from the furries and the cosplayers, what would be the point?
---
It would be like showing a child pictures of all the awesome presents they weren't getting for Christmas. Cruel.


I fail to see how cruelly denying furries the ability to act on their impulses is a bad thing.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:01 AM on May 9, 2011


I want a pair of feelers like The Tick
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:02 AM on May 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've speculated that horse training might be assisted by having ears that horses could "read." I want a pair of these--with some modifications :)
posted by galadriel at 10:05 AM on May 9, 2011


It would be interesting if these were able to actually capture emotions and express them. If they caught on though I think it would be highly problematic for the users. Animals directly respond and will even take advantage of expressed emotions. People are much worse and will incite certain emotions to use to their advantage. Most of this happens unconciously for people and do it quite harmlessly, but for some it's an insidious way to manipulate others. I would take a pass.
posted by P.o.B. at 10:53 AM on May 9, 2011


I fail to see how cruelly denying furries the ability to act on their impulses is a bad thing.
posted by FatherDagon


And that coming from an otherkin!
posted by Theta States at 10:58 AM on May 9, 2011


If they caught on though I think it would be highly problematic for the users.

I'm imagining a dark future where undercover policemen trick people into putting on adorable neko ears and then suddenly ask if they ever killed anyone.

It would certainly have made the hunt for bin Laden a lot more kawai.
posted by running order squabble fest at 11:05 AM on May 9, 2011


Meh, the real dark future inlcudes a simple small and portable polygraph/stress/emotional arc reflex/empathy test that doesn't need any connectivity. Think PKD's Voight-Kampf and Bonelli tests but in a simple Pip Boy 3000 design.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:51 AM on May 9, 2011


Heck, there is already audio and visual programs that can read changes emotion and stress in voices and faces.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:55 AM on May 9, 2011


It's funnier with polygraph cat ears, though.

My names's Deckard. I've been working as a feline neurocyborg hunter - a Spayed Runner - for five years. It's incredibly simple. So simple this intrusive voiceover explaining what's happening seems otiose.

The ears usually give them away. If not the ears, take a look at the tail. If it's up, they're happy. If it's down, they're sad.

The tail tells the tale, Gaff used to say. He was the best, but in the end the job was too much for him. Nobody was surprised when he handed in his badge. Allergies.

His last case was a real tough nut. Ears and tail still as an adorable sleeping kitten. We had to play the long game. It took days before he posted "I killed someone purr lol nya!" to his LiveJournal. That was the clue we needed.

There are a million stories in the Neko City. This was one of them.

posted by running order squabble fest at 12:58 PM on May 9, 2011 [6 favorites]


Do Electric Kittehs something something Hamburger?
posted by P.o.B. at 10:11 AM on May 10, 2011


Do Electric Kittehs something something Hamburger?
Cheezburger, surely.
posted by Karmakaze at 11:07 AM on May 10, 2011


Not in the dark future!
posted by P.o.B. at 11:35 AM on May 10, 2011


Do Electric Kittehs Can Has Cheezburger? by Philip K(itty) Dick.
posted by fings at 11:53 AM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Do Furries Dream of Electric LOLCats? by P(heline) K(itteh) Dick
posted by P.o.B. at 12:04 PM on May 10, 2011


And this post proves: Yes. Yes they do
posted by P.o.B. at 12:07 PM on May 10, 2011


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