Snickt!

May 28, 2011 11:17 AM

A trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2 featuring The Hand and Silver Samurai.

With Darren Aronofsky no longer attached to the movie (variously known as "The Wolverine" or "Wolverine 2"), the field has opened up to a number of possible directors, including Gary Shore, who went ahead and made his own trailer for his vision of the film.

"Wolverine 2" is broadly based on the Frank Miller / Chris Claremont series, written by Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects).

posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul (58 comments total)

I'm trying to think of a more awkwardly named film franchise installment than X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2. There are like three qualifiers.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:39 AM on May 28, 2011 [13 favorites]

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl comes close.

The only other four-noun film titles I can think offhand are The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover and Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.
posted by Trurl at 11:46 AM on May 28, 2011

This movie franchise is starting to sound like the names of the Call of Duty videogame franchise.
posted by zzazazz at 11:47 AM on May 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

Trurl: I think you've just discovered the perfect "entertain and alienate everyone in the house" movie night!
posted by hippybear at 11:49 AM on May 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

I really can't imagine would want anything other than for the Wolverine movie franchise to be quietly forgotten.
posted by Artw at 11:52 AM on May 28, 2011

Artw: I would like it first to be directed by Darren Aronofsky, and then quietly forgotten.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:57 AM on May 28, 2011

As handsome and nicely put together as Hugh Jackman is, the Wolverine I know and love from my time reading X-Men comics was sort of a short brick shithouse character. I've found Jackman far too lithe from day one. I don't know who I'd cast instead, but Jackman really isn't what my brain sees when I think "Wolverine".
posted by hippybear at 11:57 AM on May 28, 2011

The current convoluted title record holder is Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Dead, Part 3.

More on topic: curious musical choice for the trailer. Almost the aesthetic opposite of the usual driving rock or techno used for action movie trailers these days.
posted by jedicus at 11:57 AM on May 28, 2011 [5 favorites]

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl comes close.

Nah. I'm not just talking convoluted or bulky titles, I'm talking like the implied sub-sub-sub area that this film lives in. We go from the first movie, X-Men, to the idea of exploring backstory (X-Men Origins), from there focus on one character (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and then deliver a sequel to that. What the fuck, kids?
posted by shakespeherian at 12:00 PM on May 28, 2011 [5 favorites]

I would pay to see this movie
posted by KokuRyu at 12:01 PM on May 28, 2011

I would pay to see this movie

Oh, and you will.... you will...........
posted by hippybear at 12:02 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

Nah. I'm not just talking convoluted or bulky titles, I'm talking like the implied sub-sub-sub area that this film lives in. We go from the first movie, X-Men, to the idea of exploring backstory (X-Men Origins), from there focus on one character (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and then deliver a sequel to that. What the fuck, kids?

It's almost like they're out of new ideas...
posted by T.D. Strange at 12:04 PM on May 28, 2011

It's almost as if they want to milk the cow to death and ignore new ideas.
posted by Splunge at 12:07 PM on May 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

While I don't know about the actual storyline - who could, with just that? - I do wish that more movies would stake out a unique aesthetic and stay relentlessly, unapologetically true to it for the duration of the film and for its own sake. I loved Pi for that, I loved Sin City for it, and I suspect if they could pull it off, I'd like this movie filmed in that style for it as well.
posted by mhoye at 12:10 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

As handsome and nicely put together as Hugh Jackman is, the Wolverine I know and love from my time reading X-Men comics was sort of a short brick shithouse character. I've found Jackman far too lithe from day one. I don't know who I'd cast instead

A young Harvey Keitel always seemed to me to catch both Logan's hard-drinking, half-wild character and the short of stubby, strong, explosive fury of Wolverine.

Bad Lieutenant with claws and the drug problem under control, basically.
posted by fatbird at 12:11 PM on May 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

Is it really necessary that these films all be set before the first X-Men movie? Because that's only going to get more difficult to believe as Hugh Jackman gets, you know, increasingly older than he was in the year 2000.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:12 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

Seems like a quality Wolverine story they could do which wouldn't have to be part of the Origins series would be that point where Magneto pulls all the adamantium off of his skeleton and he ends up going feral for a while.
posted by hippybear at 12:18 PM on May 28, 2011

6 new X-Men: First Class videos
posted by homunculus at 12:30 PM on May 28, 2011

I really can't imagine would want anything other than for the Wolverine movie franchise to be quietly forgotten.

I'm still holding out hope for a sequel Deadpool movie starring Ryan Reynolds and directed by the Cohen Brothers.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:32 PM on May 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

My perfect Wolverine movie would be a panel-for-panel adaptation of this.
posted by fight or flight at 12:35 PM on May 28, 2011 [22 favorites]

A Wolverine movie with Kitty Pride and Electra would be so awesome
posted by KokuRyu at 12:41 PM on May 28, 2011

X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Port of Call — New Orleans.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:49 PM on May 28, 2011 [10 favorites]

shakespeherian: "Nah. I'm not just talking convoluted or bulky titles, I'm talking like the implied sub-sub-sub area that this film lives in. We go from the first movie, X-Men, to the idea of exploring backstory (X-Men Origins), from there focus on one character (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and then deliver a sequel to that. What the fuck, kids?"

This film has nothing on The Scorpion King 2, which is a sequel to a spin-off of a sequel to a remake.
posted by brundlefly at 12:50 PM on May 28, 2011

It's really confusing to watch a 1:30 trailer that goes on for too long.

Or has my attention span just be killed off?
posted by litleozy at 12:53 PM on May 28, 2011

I thought Liev Schreiber made an awesome Sabretooth-in-all-but-name. But the lengths to which these movies deviate from the source material pretty much drives me batty. And the source material is pretty friggin convoluted anyway.
posted by Existential Dread at 1:38 PM on May 28, 2011

January Jones is a shitty actor
posted by nathancaswell at 1:45 PM on May 28, 2011

I'm not a comic afficionado but I thought the first Wolverine origins film was good fun and quite well done. Look forward to this one.
posted by Not Supplied at 2:25 PM on May 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

Or has my attention span just be killed off?

No, definitely not. I loved the Claremont/ Miller series (and still do), but that was like a minute-and-a-half of someone repeating, "We haven't actually made this movie yet."

Pedantic: there's no C in "SNIKT". QUALITY CONTROL MATTERS!
posted by yerfatma at 2:32 PM on May 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

> A Wolverine movie with Kitty Pride and Electra would be so awesome
> posted by KokuRyu at 3:41 PM on May 28

True that. The Bryan Singer iteration of X-Men (2000) took too many liberties with the characters, substituting Rogue for Kitty in the "Welcome to the X-Men, Kitty Pryde" (Vol. 1, Issue #139) story.

I guess involuntary power-leechers are more interesting than semi-solid, Jewish, teen-aged girls. (No pun intended.)
posted by vhsiv at 2:43 PM on May 28, 2011

> I'm trying to think of a more awkwardly named film franchise installment than X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2.

Needs more gerund.

Originating X-Men: Making Wolverine Again
posted by wam at 2:57 PM on May 28, 2011

Good evenings sir. Are you happy with the originings that your current wolverings is providings?

We can reoriging your originings to give you 200 free wolverings a month on your origin plannings.
posted by Not Supplied at 3:16 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's almost like they're out of new ideas...

Remember we're talking about a company whose entire raison d'être is adapting comic books into profitable movies. You want innovation or new storylines, don't watch a comic book movie.
posted by valkyryn at 3:33 PM on May 28, 2011

Considering the ambiguous nature of Wolverine's actual age, and some of the interesting side-stories in the comics, there is a lot of potential for a GOOD Wolverine movie. That is, provided the studio behind it doesn't just want another PG-13 payday, cashing in on the name value -- and little else.
posted by Dark Messiah at 4:27 PM on May 28, 2011

Considering the ambiguous nature of Wolverine's actual age, and some of the interesting side-stories in the comics, there is a lot of potential for a GOOD Wolverine movie.

Of course they actually went and ruined all the ambiguity by publishing an official origin story.
posted by the_artificer at 4:54 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

Seems like a quality Wolverine story they could do which wouldn't have to be part of the Origins series would be that point where Magneto pulls all the adamantium off of his skeleton and he ends up going feral for a while.

WORST. IDEA. EVER.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 5:13 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

I dunno man. I'm thinking we've tapped out the teenage power fantasies of comicdom. One can only take so many "reboots."
posted by clvrmnky at 5:26 PM on May 28, 2011

I hate this metrosexual Wolverine they came up with, I wanna see the fat trucker Wolverine from Meltdown.

This thread is now about your favorite Wolverine! :-)
posted by Tom-B at 6:09 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's always felt like the biggest unspoken rule in comics is how stupid Wolverine's haircut is. It's like those joke comics where someone takes off a weirdly shaped helmet to show their weirdly shaped head underneath, except that everyone pretends that his hair's somehow normal and wouldn't take 6 tubs of hair gel to create. For all his manly bravado Wolverine's one high-maintanence superhero.
posted by Silentgoldfish at 6:26 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

>More on topic: curious musical choice for the trailer. Almost the aesthetic opposite of the usual driving rock or techno used for action movie trailers these days.

Seemed reminiscent of the trailer for Dead Island (previously) which was itself reminiscent of this moment (spoilers?) and many similar ones from Lost. Pretty sure that makes it an Official Trend.
posted by range at 6:27 PM on May 28, 2011

WORST. IDEA. EVER.

Hey, it wasn't MY idea. This actually happened, back in the run of the comics, I'll say around 1993/1994-ish.

I stopped reading shortly after that because comics are too expensive (were back then, are even more now), but for a short time, Wolverine was one hell of a ride.
posted by hippybear at 6:40 PM on May 28, 2011

I swore I had an issue of Alpha Flight (which I can't now find) that did a bit on Wolverine's origins and has a bunch of ninjas (in a big white yacht?) chasing him down after he escapes the facility where he was made - so this movie could be kinda based on canon.

... and I totally remember when Wolverine went feral, but can't remember how he got the adamantium skelly back.
posted by porpoise at 7:14 PM on May 28, 2011

Oh gawds, I luuurv me usenet.

It's issue 33, the one with the cover of a team groupshot standing over a wounded Mrs. Guardian, first frame is a glorious full-page of Mrs. Guardian in flight, and yes, Wolverine looks 5'nothing 220lbs. Haha, even Puck the dwarf bouncer is drawn (abstractly) as twice his Logan's height.

I misremembered, it was a flashback dealing with Wolverine's original escape after being made; the ninja thing was a current event, so <shrug>.

Wow. The standard for commercial comic art is really different nowadays compared to whatever era that was - Marvel's 25th anniversary, 1985-ish.
posted by porpoise at 7:28 PM on May 28, 2011

Last scene was totally:

BERSERKER BARAAAAGE!
posted by stratastar at 8:14 PM on May 28, 2011

Hey, it wasn't MY idea. This actually happened,

Oh, I remember. You're right, it was 93. Marvel did everything they could to help me quit comics before I started college. Thanks, Marvel!
posted by The Hamms Bear at 8:16 PM on May 28, 2011

You're right, it was 93. Marvel did everything they could to help me quit comics before I started college.

I'm terribly terribly old.
posted by hippybear at 8:21 PM on May 28, 2011

I dunno I stopped reading right around then as well, but it was a pretty neat raid on Magneto.

Also the holy shit moment after that when he snikt'ed our bone claws was pretty fucking awesome.
posted by stratastar at 8:21 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

For all his manly bravado Wolverine's one high-maintanence superhero.

I wish I still had a link to this awesome essay about how if you imagine the stereotypical Hollywood "manly bravado" character as a woman, it's easier to see that Dirty Harry, John Wayne's characters, Mel Gibson's characters, etc. are all insufferable drama queens: sulking all the time, brooding over old relationships, getting all huffy and hysterical at the slightest perceived insult, constantly demanding they get there own way or they take their ball and go home, totally vain and full of themselves.

Wolverine fits that description to a T.
posted by straight at 8:31 PM on May 28, 2011 [4 favorites]

Dude! The Greatest What If: the hypothetical scenario is that they make a Wolverine movie dealing with the time that Magneto pulled the adamantium out of him and he went feral. Then they bring in fucking Cyber to break his claws and make him go nuts on hallucinogens. A movie with a giant, adamantium-coated psychopath tripping balls on hallucinogens is one that I would go see. That was the best storyline in the whole Wolverine comic run.
posted by Existential Dread at 8:42 PM on May 28, 2011

Worst case: Daken
posted by Artw at 10:17 PM on May 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

I remember the Magneto pulling the adamantium bit. I was still into the comics at that point, and I remember being pretty shocked by it, and realizing that comics were heading in a particularly brutal direction. I mean, Magneto is a bad guy and all, but isn't that just a tad excessive?

I stopped reading regularly a couple years after that. So, uh, how did he get his adamantium back?
posted by Ghidorah at 5:58 AM on May 29, 2011

So, uh, how did he get his adamantium back?

Apparently Apocalypse took adamantium from Sabretooth and rebonded Wolverine's skeleton, sometime around late 1999 in Wolverine #145.

It's all a bit convoluted. Here's a synopsis of that issue; most of it makes no sense to me at all.
posted by hippybear at 6:14 AM on May 29, 2011

jedicus: The current convoluted title record holder is Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Dead, Part 3.

You had me at Zombified Living Dead, but the actual movie description makes me question the whole endevour:

The film makers take the movie The Brain Wouldn't Die (1962) and wiped the audio clean and dubbed it over with a new, comedic soundtrack.

And this group's earlier re-dub had a longer title (... Part 2: In Shocking 2-D).
posted by filthy light thief at 8:02 AM on May 29, 2011

Return Of The Curse Of The Creature's Ghost
posted by TheKM at 11:03 AM on May 29, 2011

oh man, so I was watching the i09 clips, right? And in the one with the battleship, Magneto raises his hand to stop the missiles. Only, the youtube buffer circle-of-circles popped up, so it was like he stopped the video. Bad. Ass.
posted by Eideteker at 1:40 PM on May 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

That movie title generator gave me:

Happening upon My Rat Bastard of a Brother
posted by Eideteker at 1:53 PM on May 29, 2011

That has to be a medium budget, quasi-independent-ish film with Joseph Gordon-Levitt in at least a supporting role.
posted by hippybear at 2:31 PM on May 29, 2011

I got Polishing Mrs. Wong, which makes me think about some sort of Futurama slashfic.
posted by Existential Dread at 9:18 PM on May 29, 2011

Am I the only one here who saw the trailer for the origin of the Beast and thought, "This guy has some serious potential in a threesome?"

And then wondered where to find a female with a prehensile tail?


And... wait...

Did I say that out loud?
posted by Splunge at 10:55 PM on May 30, 2011