Delicious Closet Queen
June 22, 2011 3:33 AM   Subscribe

Etat Libre D'Orange is a niche perfume house - the olfactory equivalent of arthouse cinema. So, in keeping with a company that claim to be challenging what we think of as perfume, it's no surprise that their most infamous scent is intended to smell literally like sex. [Here's a NSFW image of the label.] But what happens when you try it for the first time?
posted by mippy (59 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Does the perfume not actually smell like sex? Or are the reviews of disgust from people who are nauseated by fumes generated in actual coitus?
posted by dubold at 3:45 AM on June 22, 2011


Blimey, it's Katy Puckrick. When I've wondered what happened to her after The Word ended, I must admit that 'became an online perfume expert' never really sprang to mind.

The combination of teenage crush reactivation and fuck-stench perfume is confusing, to say the least.
posted by jack_mo at 3:46 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


I haven't tried it myself, although the idea intrigues me. Rather like the scent equivalent of people using make-up to look unusual or different rather than to enhance what they have in the conventional way.

There is a store in London that sells it - and the Tilda Swinton perfume that sounds lovely - but when I went I was too annoyed at not being able to justify purchase of Bellogdia and Garofano to get intrigued by it.
posted by mippy at 3:50 AM on June 22, 2011


Stale cigarettes, synthetic vanilla, sweat, and just a hint of mildew?

Oh wait, that's a titty bar.

Sex smells like latex, ass-sweat, and bleach.
posted by orthogonality at 3:54 AM on June 22, 2011 [6 favorites]


I do like the idea of "arthouse" perfume in the abstract, though I'd hate to be stuck in a lift with someone wearing it.
posted by dubold at 3:55 AM on June 22, 2011


KatiePuckrikSmilesALot.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:55 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


"Smells like a crime scene"

There's Rule 34 all over this video. Should be tagged NSFW.
posted by chavenet at 3:56 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


So people put this stuff on instead of just having a rough shag?
posted by dunkadunc at 3:59 AM on June 22, 2011


"Sex smells like latex, ass-sweat, and bleach."
I think maybe you're doing it wrong?
posted by Blake at 4:02 AM on June 22, 2011 [3 favorites]


"Sécrétions Magnifiques is offensive (heinous even). It smells like no other perfume I’ve encountered (in a sense, this is high praise in an industry full of sameness and lack of originality). When I wore Sécrétions Magnifiques for the first time, before I noticed scent, I felt sensations: unease, chill, damp, repulsion, queasiness. With these feelings percolating, I began to register the scents of watered-down bleach, infused one minute with “milk” (that quickly curdles) and the next minute with a cheap “fruity” note (a deformed aldehyde? a reject sandalwood molecule?) Sécrétions Magnifiques made me panic: how do I get this stuff off my body?"
posted by mippy at 4:03 AM on June 22, 2011


>>"Sex smells like latex, ass-sweat, and bleach."

>I think maybe you're doing it wrong
right?

Fixerated for more accuracy. Sex smells good while you are in the middle of it, but if you walk into a room after other people have had sex, or sometimes even if you walk back into a room where you were humping a little while before, the smell can be both powerful and not very nice; the more animalistic your rutting is, the stronger the smell.

I can easily imagine how a perfume based on those smells could smell pretty bad.
posted by Forktine at 4:27 AM on June 22, 2011


Etat must be the only perfume house with a sense of humour. Not all of their scents are so outrageous though.

I went through a minor obsession with Jasmin et Cigarettes by Etat - in a rare move for a perfume, it actually smelt like the name, like you imagine Audrey Hepburn or Ingrid Bergman smelling.
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory at 4:31 AM on June 22, 2011


Well, you could go out in public reeking of coitus - or you could go out in public reeking of amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:32 AM on June 22, 2011 [2 favorites]


They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works every time.
posted by Dr. Eigenvariable at 4:36 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: "I'm really gonna have to go have a Silkwood shower after this."
posted by Thorzdad at 4:36 AM on June 22, 2011 [5 favorites]


Heh. From the user reviews on the "infamous" link:

The smell is ugly and mercilessly insistent and, at the risk of being obscure or fanciful, is freakishly close to the smell of penguins.
...

If I had the choice between a bout of gonorrhea and a week of wearing Sécrétions Magnifiques, I'm really not sure which I'd choose.


Also, Katie Puckrik was funny.
posted by taz at 4:36 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


So it smells like sperm, sweat, blood, and milk? Am I doing it wrong?

I agree that other people's sex smells are ick, but I disagree about my own. My partner and I have often walked back into the bedroom and noticed strong smells and it always brings a smile to our lips....unless the smells are from the bulldog.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:58 AM on June 22, 2011


For $3 you can buy a sample. I've tried a couple other, less weird Etat Libre d'Orange fragrances; their scents are less interesting than their shtick.

Plus: the label makes me think: ack!!
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:00 AM on June 22, 2011


Oh, there is some type of tree that smells like that for a couple weeks in the NYC springtime.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:13 AM on June 22, 2011 [2 favorites]


Never heard of this scent or this house before, very interesting! It seems that recreating the smell of sex isn't that rare of an idea in the fragrance world, I've been wanting to try Serge Lutens' Muscs Koublaï Khän which some people say smells like man-crotch.
posted by C^3 at 5:17 AM on June 22, 2011


>>"Sex smells like latex, ass-sweat, and bleach."

>I think maybe you're doing it wrong right?


I got out of my truck at a friend's house one afternoon only to be blasted by the smell of semen. In the middle of the street! A powerful scent, I imagined that that was what bukkake smelled like, in a small, sweaty room. It was the first thing I mentioned when I saw my friend: You street smells like cum. He smiled and affirmed, saying Yeah, my neighbor was washing graffiti off his wall with bleach.

Cum smells like bleach!
posted by carsonb at 5:22 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


"a big old nimmity pimmity fuss"? i am sure that's as offensive to the ear as the perfume is to the nose
posted by kitchenrat at 5:26 AM on June 22, 2011


So it smells like sperm, sweat, blood, and milk? Am I doing it wrong?

Do you not have sex by dipping your bloody dick in milk? Pretty sure that's how you're supposed to do it.
posted by Greg Nog at 5:36 AM on June 22, 2011 [4 favorites]


Oh, there is some type of tree that smells like that for a couple weeks in the NYC springtime

I figured you must mean the female Ginkgo tree which is notoriously smelly, but I see it is stinky in the fall. When I was growing up our neighborhood had carob trees and they reeked of stinky feet, although some people think they smell like sperm when in bloom.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:42 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


I recommend this despondent review highly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNfTW2gRwKk
posted by wrok at 6:03 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]



Oh, there is some type of tree that smells like that for a couple weeks in the NYC springtime


It's not just NYC; it's one of those urban trees that get planted all over. I don't know which one it is, so when I smell one I just call it a "sperm tree." Not everyone can smell it -- I was complaining about one the other day and my friend couldn't smell it at all.
posted by Forktine at 6:14 AM on June 22, 2011


I assume it smells like shame and disappointment.
posted by Pastabagel at 6:15 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


Baloney pony? What?
posted by odinsdream at 6:18 AM on June 22, 2011 [2 favorites]


But what happens when you try it for the first time?

Holy Metaphor Batman! What a great video.
posted by odinsdream at 6:23 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


Cum smells like bleach!

Actually, I always thought it smelled like chicken broth.
posted by dlugoczaj at 6:32 AM on June 22, 2011


Metafilter: smells like man-crotch
posted by slogger at 6:43 AM on June 22, 2011


There are many "sperm trees," but if you're in NYC and it's the spring, it's probably an ailanthus.
posted by neroli at 6:44 AM on June 22, 2011 [3 favorites]


This is all wrong. Perfume is supposed to help you get sex, not prove that you've just had it.
posted by londonmark at 6:51 AM on June 22, 2011


Is it linden trees?
posted by arcticwoman at 7:04 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


When does the pine tree-shaped air freshened version come out?
posted by Stoatfarm at 7:22 AM on June 22, 2011


These crabs are nuclear!

That was hilarious.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 7:38 AM on June 22, 2011


There are many "sperm trees," but if you're in NYC and it's the spring, it's probably an ailanthus.

I was thinking flowering pear, since they are more likely to be urban street trees, and I've never noticed the smell of an ailanthus. Some flowering pears really smell, others less so. Carob are stinkier.
posted by oneirodynia at 7:47 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


You know, after watching this video and the other perfume review videos she does, I realize -

I am in love with Katie Puckrick.
posted by archivist at 7:50 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


Speaking of sex perfumes, anyone want to talk about how that review video has got ads slathered all over it for the Justin Bieber scent "Someday," and how the graphic for that ad features the bottle, which is capped with what appears to be a sort of shyly just-opening little rosebud, and Justin Bieber with this taller, aggressively open-mouthed little blonde coming up on him from behind? Anyone?
posted by nanojath at 8:06 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


I really like the ammonia and mushroom smell of cum, and blood can have a sweet, coppery smell that is unique--it's weird that the two most important fluids in our bodies smell like that which is not biological. have not smelt milk. i am wearing etat libre orange right now.
posted by PinkMoose at 8:08 AM on June 22, 2011


Oh, there is some type of tree that smells like that for a couple weeks in the NYC springtime

It's not just NYC; it's one of those urban trees that get planted all over. I don't know which one it is, so when I smell one I just call it a "sperm tree."


Sounds like Gingko, also called Maidenhair.
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:15 AM on June 22, 2011


The smell only a blacklight can burn off.

Ew.

And double Ew that Justin Beiber is getting his ear nibbled by some chick next to this video. I don't want to see that!

Where's Chris Hanson when we need him?
posted by stormpooper at 8:21 AM on June 22, 2011


I was also under the impression that gingko is responsible for the smell of sperms flowing through the streets. Some of the smell, anyway.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:23 AM on June 22, 2011


Katie Puckrik is great in that review.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:39 AM on June 22, 2011


Well, you could go out in public reeking of coitus - or you could go out in public reeking of amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity.

I actually have a whole slew of those (obvious). Shub-Nigguroth smells like evil sexy gingerbread. Miskatonic University smells like pipe tobacco and coffee with a hint of eldritch tome. My favorite, The High Priest Not To Be Described, is subtly spicy with a hint of smokiness and slight citric tones, and of course that's the one they decided to discontinue.
posted by FatherDagon at 8:58 AM on June 22, 2011


Oh man mippy. Now I am subscribed to Katie Puckrick's channel, looking up other perfume reviewers, and thinking of ordering a whole whack of samples ("imp's ears") from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.

In short: I love this post so much it may have triggered a new hobby, as I have never worn perfume before.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 10:09 AM on June 22, 2011


I don’t know who Katie Puckrik is, but the video was too annoying to watch all the way through.

I tried watching another review, but I always find that these people spend entirely too long to make their point. They have 1 minutes worth of material and they make a 10 minute video of themselves rambling and trying to be cute.
posted by bongo_x at 11:05 AM on June 22, 2011


And double Ew that Justin Beiber is getting his ear nibbled by some chick next to this video.

No one's ever linked to the cringe making Bieber perfume video?
posted by IndigoJones at 11:38 AM on June 22, 2011


I really want to try BPAL - I've been meaning to for about eight years or something - but the talk of how addicitive it gets puts me off. Plus, I worry that they will be too strong, or have the note that Lush perfumes have int hem that really doesn't agree with me (I wish I knew what it was, but Ladyboy was full of it. Patchouli perhaps?) I absolutely adore an old lotion they did, Potion, and I've wanted to find a spicy wintery carnation ever since. Villoresi's Garofano is close, but also £70 a bottle. If I could bring myself to part with that for scented water I know I wouldn't wear it other than 'special occasions', and that's no fun.

flibbertigibbet - Now Smell This is a great blog to read. Especially if you've not worn perfume because you find the general department store offerings too bland. (Everytime I catch the Tube I seem to smell Angel or Miss Dior Cherie.)
posted by mippy at 12:02 PM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


I need some of those bleach notes for my brain after that ad for "Someday". Disgusting on so many levels, it was.
posted by wierdo at 12:13 PM on June 22, 2011


Everytime I catch the Tube

Gimme a minute and I'll work this into a pun on smelling of semen.
posted by liquidindian at 1:53 PM on June 22, 2011


Now that we've got the LOLNOOKIE out of the way . . . did you guys see the

Fat Electrician
?

The page features a stereotypical working-class plumber's crack over this florid copy:
His beauty would have been his greatest asset. One imagines he was raised in the big air of Texas, his soft skin scrubbed by ears of wheat, his eyelashes curled by grappling with grace against a blinding sun. A Steve McQueen lost on city asphalt. A fisherman without a line, he was made to be hooked by others, to believe in his fate without knowing it, to wreak havoc and forget it over time. Youth for women-of-a-certain-age, stock for late-night parties, a partner to accompany the wealthy of Palm Peach on nature walks, his splendor is consumed in the service of others. Now, a Fat Electrician in New Jersey, his talent depleted in his sexual decline. To celebrate this beauty which cannot be recaptured, a splendid vetiver is required - an ode to bygone eroticism. Antoine Maisondieu has willed him white, metallic, silver like the ancestral green of olive leaves. But also sweet, demure, addictive like a chestnut cream – vanilla bean, opoponax and myrrh in the bottom notes. Intensely concentrated, resinous, flawlessly unrefined, it conveys a sensuality of contradiction. Because all beauty carries within itself the knowledge that it will not last.
posted by jason's_planet at 5:35 PM on June 22, 2011


I imagine it would complement a dab of Vulva [NSFW] "the captivating intimate scent conserved as odorous substance, made to satisfy your own smelling pleasure."
posted by unliteral at 7:37 PM on June 22, 2011


does it contain santorum?
posted by moorooka at 8:16 PM on June 22, 2011


@bongo_x I think part of the reason the reviews were so long is that they were waiting for the perfume to develop. Perfumes are usually made with a quickly evaporating top note, longer lasting mid notes, and the longest lasting base notes. It does take a few to several minutes to get all the nuances of the perfume. Although in this case I'm not sure why they bothered.
posted by anotherkate at 10:36 PM on June 22, 2011


I don't know what kind of tree they are but I think of them as "spermflower trees" and they planted enormous amounts of them in between the Student Resident Center buildings at the University of New Mexico and I've always felt so bad for the kids that live in those dorms because I assume they cannot open their windows for the entire time they are in bloom.
posted by NoraReed at 11:13 PM on June 22, 2011


I really want to try BPAL - I've been meaning to for about eight years or something - but the talk of how addicitive it gets puts me off. Plus, I worry that they will be too strong, or have the note that Lush perfumes have int hem that really doesn't agree with me (I wish I knew what it was, but Ladyboy was full of it. Patchouli perhaps?)

I don't know if BPAL is that addictive if you don't find simply consuming things addictive. I bought about a hundred samples, and from that found maybe 12 scents I bought in full sizes, half of which I eventually gave away. There are some lovely and amazing scents, and quite a few that are good, and many more that are meh or okay in the vial but weird on skin. There is so much more variety that the Lush issue doesn't happen- I think at some point Lush just started adding generic "perfume" to everything for that creamy-yet-plastic twinkie scent. Years ago they really made an effort to blend interesting things; now everything has an undertone of artificially sweetened goo from the middle of an eclair.

Staying away from the BPAL forum other than reviews made it a lot easier not to overbuy. There are people who build special shelves to hold all their hundreds of bottles of BPAL and post pictures of them. I can't imagine ever liking that many scents, let alone using it all. I hardly shop there at all any more since I make my own lotions and perfumes, but when I do I use the search function for notes I like, and then read the reviews for the perfumes that come up, and then expect to be surprised if I really love more than one or two of what I order.
posted by oneirodynia at 11:56 AM on June 23, 2011


I really want to try BPAL - I've been meaning to for about eight years or something - but the talk of how addicitive it gets puts me off.

If you have generally good self-restraint as a consumer, you can try BPAL without incident. One good thing is that their "imp's ears" -- which are teeny-tiny little sample vials of their scents - are butt cheap, often last a while, and sometimes they throw an extra one in for you when you order, so you get a little present.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:04 PM on June 27, 2011


Well you see, I cannot be trusted with things that come in many varieties.

I love the sound of some of their scents, though - I love gourmands (I still want a decent crisp apple and somethign that smells of tomato vines and earth), spices like vanilla and clove, crisp snowy scents and warm powdery scents. But I tried a sample of one of their fragrances years ago - I think it was something with amber or 'fire' in the name - and it was hugely strong and gave me a headache. Of course, it could have been off.
posted by mippy at 2:19 PM on June 27, 2011


« Older "Schmeared by the rent" - Manhattan's H&H Bagels i...  |  "[School] Officials warned tha... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments