Golazo, Golazo, Golazo, azo azo azo
June 26, 2011 10:14 AM   Subscribe

Did you see this goal? It's the last goal of this year's Gold Cup, and it's one of the very best I've ever seen. I thought I'd share it. [SLYT]

That took some guts and imagination and juuust the right force on the strike.
posted by fantodstic (109 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
Why the hell did the goalie follow him away from the goal? STAY IN YOUR POSITION!
posted by LoudMusic at 10:18 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Looked a bit chaotic like my son's under 5 league.
posted by punkfloyd at 10:22 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Saw that goal live last night. It was a beauty. Don't know if he could make that shot a second time if he tried.

Check out this U17 keeper goal for Canada.
posted by MechEng at 10:24 AM on June 26, 2011 [9 favorites]


goals like that are why they call it the beautiful game
posted by nathancaswell at 10:27 AM on June 26, 2011


The last minutes of the match. 90+ minutes of play will make players a bit dizzy and more prone to become disorganized - did you see that defender that ran behind him? He looked exhausted and barely made the effort to confront Dos Santos. I've only played a full 90 minutes twice and the last minutes make you want the game to end so bad; I would just basically punt the ball away from my half and wait for those guys to return so I could get a breather haha.
posted by fantodstic at 10:27 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wow. I'm not even certain it would have been defendable if the goalkeep were in position. Notice that a player tried to head it out of play, and couldn't reach it, because it was to high up. Suddenly; a little drop and it's in. Just, wow.
posted by Gilbert at 10:32 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, beautiful if you're rooting for Mexico.
posted by semmi at 10:36 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


That goal sort of underscores the entire match. The US defensive line seemed pretty content to just let Dos Santos and Barerra do whatever they wanted.

It was a good game, and Mexico deserved to win. The US team should be greatful-- score could have easily been 6-2.
posted by mcmile at 10:37 AM on June 26, 2011


While I'm at it: I think my all time favorite goal is Ryan Gigg's goal against Arsenal in '99.

It's so gutsy and his celebration is wild! This encapsulates, for me, everything awesome about a good goal.

(also: Crazy chest hair!)
posted by fantodstic at 10:37 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


No, objectively beautiful.

There's nothing wrong with appreciating a masterly play against the team you're rooting for. It's actually one of the loveliest moments in sports, and one of my favorites, when you have no other option but to turn to a fan of the other team and tip your hat to something phenomenal. You just acknowledge that what you all just witnessed was special, loyalty aside.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:39 AM on June 26, 2011 [19 favorites]


Yeah, beautiful if you're rooting for Mexico.


You can appreciate a good goal even if it's against your team. For example, I was rooting for Mexico in this game but I still was like "holy shit! What a goal!" when Maxi Rodriguez scored what many call the best goal of the 2004 World Cup.
posted by fantodstic at 10:40 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


nathancaswell: "goals like that are why they call it the beautiful game"

Can someone explain that to the football impaired? It just looked to me like any other goal. What makes that one special?
posted by octothorpe at 10:41 AM on June 26, 2011


I like Bergkamp in the '98 WC.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:41 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


nathancaswell, we just made the same point but you described what I wanted to say 2x better :)
posted by fantodstic at 10:41 AM on June 26, 2011


Why the hell did the goalie follow him away from the goal? STAY IN YOUR POSITION!

I don't blame him given how little help he was getting from his defense.
posted by Tsuga at 10:42 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


fantodstic:You can appreciate a good goal even if it's against your team. For example, I was rooting for Mexico in this game but I still was like "holy shit! What a goal!" when Maxi Rodriguez scored what many call the best goal of the 2004 World Cup .

I watched that match live on TV, and remember thinking that might be the greatest goal I'd ever seen. It was certainly better than Maradona's handball of the century, that's for sure.
posted by deadmessenger at 10:45 AM on June 26, 2011


when Maxi Rodriguez scored what many call the best goal of the 2004 World Cup

2006, 2006 World Cup!

This is what happens when you avidly follow the Euro and World Cup and Champions League. Your dates get all mixed up...
posted by fantodstic at 10:46 AM on June 26, 2011


Can someone explain that to the football impaired? It just looked to me like any other goal. What makes that one special?


You'll just have to take our word for it :)
posted by fantodstic at 10:47 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wow. Tim Howard is by any measure one of the best goalkeepers in the game, and Dos Santos made him look like an idiot out there. He was flopping around like a fish out of water on the turf - no wonder he looked so upset at the end.
posted by deadmessenger at 10:47 AM on June 26, 2011


Can someone explain that to the football impaired? It just looked to me like any other goal. What makes that one special?

The high corner is the hardest to defend, in general, and that particular shot hit it on the downslope of an arch, making it even harder to get to - the ball was high, high out of reach until the last possible second. Contrast this with a hard, direct shot - a line drive, call it - where it follows a straight path from the ground to the corner. In that case, the ball would be well within range of interference until the last second.

The keeper was well out of position - poor bastard, he got no love from his defense all game - but even had he been there that would have been a bitch of a shot to defend against.
posted by restless_nomad at 10:48 AM on June 26, 2011 [9 favorites]


Or what restless_nomad said.
posted by fantodstic at 10:49 AM on June 26, 2011


Question: In a case like that, shouldn't the defender use his hands and take a chance on the penalty kick?
posted by Trochanter at 10:49 AM on June 26, 2011


Question: In a case like that, shouldn't the defender use his hands and take a chance on the penalty kick?

I thought of that too, but it's such a shitty thing to do, to rob the world of a beautiful goal like that.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:51 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Answer: That would be a red card. Player Ejection + Free Goal Kick = (Almost) Automatic Goal Anyways.

If it would of missed the net the defense would look like an idiot using his hands, because the other team would score on the penalty shot, unless it was like the one game in world cup this year, where they missed back to back penalty shots.
posted by MechEng at 10:53 AM on June 26, 2011


Can someone explain that to the football impaired? It just looked to me like any other goal. What makes that one special?

Also, Dos Santos hit that shot with his left foot. I don't know if he's left footed or not, but chances are he's not. Most people are right footed (just like most are right handed), so making a shot of such incredible finesse with your undominant foot is kind of a big deal.
posted by mcmile at 10:55 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Answer: That would be a red card. Player Ejection + Free Goal Kick = (Almost) Automatic Goal Anyways.

Worked for Luis Suarez in Uruguay Vs Ghana last year.
posted by PenDevil at 10:55 AM on June 26, 2011 [10 favorites]


I like Bergkamp in the '98 WC .

Also: Bergkamp vs Newcastle United.
posted by fantodstic at 10:56 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Question: In a case like that, shouldn't the defender use his hands and take a chance on the penalty kick?

Yes. That very tactic got Uruguay to the semifinals in the last World Cup.
posted by deadmessenger at 10:56 AM on June 26, 2011


Dos Santos knew that any improper tackle from the keeper or a defender, and he'd have a penalty. That's why he didn't hesitate to dribble the ball around the keeper.
posted by MiG at 11:00 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


That very tactic got Uruguay to the semifinals in the last World Cup.

Indeed it did, and that is why soccer is kind of a bullshit sport. Not unlike basketball or American football for that matter. Baseball, on the other hand, is perfect :D So is tennis.
posted by ReeMonster at 11:01 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Also, Dos Santos hit that shot with his left foot. I don't know if he's left footed or not

He is.
posted by dng at 11:02 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Worked for Luis Suarez in Uruguay Vs Ghana last year.

I was watching that match in the gym and got a lot of funny looks when I shrieked in rage and anguish.
posted by winna at 11:03 AM on June 26, 2011


The most amazing thing about Youtube sports videos is that the human brain can interpret them as sports at all, given how many of them look like a cellphone recording of an old mahogany-encased TV. Oh my god, the blurry man-thing moved what could be a compression artefact past the fuzzy lines and the other blurry manthing! And now the guy I can't understand over the crowd noise is yelling something crazy enthusiastic in a language I don't speak! WOOOO!

Seriously: there are some impressive goals here but there should be a rule that says you're not allowed to upload sports videos to Youtube in 240p, ever. All these uploaders should get red-carded.
posted by mhoye at 11:07 AM on June 26, 2011 [7 favorites]


Question: In a case like that, shouldn't the defender use his hands and take a chance on the penalty kick?

Yes. That very tactic got Uruguay to the semifinals in the last World Cup.


No. That could make sense in certain situations, as it did for Uruguay, but not here.

The ball was perfectly placed -- six inches higher it would have hit the crossbar, six inches lower the defender would have headed it. While he was jumping, he wouldn't have known where it was going to land until the very last second, so using his hands could have turned no goal into near-certain-goal-plus-red-card just as much as turned actual-goal into near-certain-goal-plus-red-card.

In sum, while using one's hands can make sense in some situations, it wouldn't have been wise here.
posted by lewedswiver at 11:13 AM on June 26, 2011


It was certainly better than Maradona's handball of the century, that's for sure.

Sometimes i wish Maradona hadn't scored that handball. Because people conflate it so much with his actual "goal of the century" which came in the same match and shall forever be one of the most impressive feats of football skill. youtube link.

The political landscape of the times [falkand war] and the pent up anger channeled through both those goals and that match also play a huge part in understanding why they're both so iconic.
posted by xqwzts at 11:16 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh my god, the blurry man-thing moved what could be a compression artefact past the fuzzy lines and the other blurry manthing! And now the guy I can't understand over the crowd noise is yelling something crazy enthusiastic in a language I don't speak! WOOOO!


Totally with you. I feel like you're talking about the Bergkamp goal I posted... Here's another video which, while still compressed, at least has a slow motion closeup replay. It does a better job showing how brilliant the move was.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:17 AM on June 26, 2011


Sometimes i wish Maradona hadn't scored that handball.

I suspect you're in good company there. Lots and lots of good company.
posted by mhoye at 11:20 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Because people conflate it so much with his actual "goal of the century"

I do that on purpose, just to remind people that Maradona's greatest achievement came only minutes after his greatest shame.
posted by deadmessenger at 11:21 AM on June 26, 2011


ahem
posted by valdesm at 11:22 AM on June 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


He doesn't seem that ashamed.
posted by Errant at 11:24 AM on June 26, 2011


Indeed it did, and that is why soccer is kind of a bullshit sport. Not unlike basketball or American football for that matter. Baseball, on the other hand, is perfect :D So is tennis.

It all depends on what you count and what you see in the games that you watch and like. I love Tennis myself (though I'm not very good at it) and I like how many different skills and mental strength it takes to play it (and succeed at it at a professional level). I would say part of what makes soccer beautiful is how much of it does rest upon the player's adhering to the games rules and conventions. When a player breaks these and behaves poorly to other players in the pitch (and really, to the audience) it's pretty ugly - what makes some goals and plays special is the way sheer talent and imagination and team chemistry can pretty much obliterate any amount of cheating or foul play in the end.
Barcelona F.C. is (to me) the best example of a team that adheres to the best aspects of the game's aesthetic - they're like an organized relentless machine that picks apart defensive lines and uses its members to their maximum capacity - it's a complete team. Messi in Barcelona is magical and a wonder to watch because he possesses a very imaginative soccer mind; seeing openings that become openings only for split seconds before anyone else realizes it, commanding the game's language in a way that, as with other sports' "magicians" like Federer and Michael Jordan, makes his style of play seem effortless. It's great to see great athletes performing things that are beautiful to watch and feel a part of, to see the connection between what you know about the game, the things you think can be done, and the new thing that X athlete just did that you never thought was possible right before your eyes.

Soccer has it's inherent flaws and there are countless examples of individual players who ruin the experience of watching it - but if you see two great teams playing at their best capacity in a stadium full of cheering fans who are part of the game's dynamic the experience is beautiful and captivating, even if it has some "bullshit" in some parts here and there. You just have to appreciate the good parts - it's all about what you count.

I get bored with baseball because I never played it at any competitive level and I don't know what to count as good and exciting in it - so I don't watch it. I wouldn't say it's a "bullshit sport" though, because I don't want to offend someone who might appreciate or see things in it that I don't.
posted by fantodstic at 11:26 AM on June 26, 2011 [5 favorites]


best celebration ever
posted by wayofthedodo at 11:30 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


best celebration ever

He's like "I'm a BOSS. I just did that. Got a problem with that?"
posted by fantodstic at 11:33 AM on June 26, 2011


best celebration ever

1) that guy looks old as shit
2) not to muck up the sports here, but I like th sheer cockiness of this
posted by nathancaswell at 11:36 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why the hell did the goalie follow him away from the goal? STAY IN YOUR POSITION!


No, Howard made the right play. If he'd stayed put, Dos Santos would have had both the near and far post open for a shot. He was too fast, and howard already had his feet out from under him, so he didn't have time to get back up and move back and only tired, lazy defenders to back him up.

Indeed it did, and that is why soccer is kind of a bullshit sport. Not unlike basketball or American football for that matter. Baseball, on the other hand, is perfect :D So is tennis.

Preemptively, can we try not to feed the trolls that always show up in futbol threads? I think those of us who understand the game would like to discuss this one of many beautiful, complicated games.
posted by cmoj at 11:38 AM on June 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


1) that guy looks old as shit

He is not a man, he is Cantona
posted by dng at 11:42 AM on June 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


best celebration ever

1) that guy looks old as shit
2) not to muck up the sports here, but I like th sheer cockiness of this


Speaking of cockiness, check out this penalty during the '06 WC Final.

Who chips a penalty in the game's most important final against (at the time) the world's best goalkeeper? Answer: Zizzou.
posted by fantodstic at 11:43 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


While I'm at it: I think my all time favorite goal is Ryan Gigg's goal against Arsenal in '99.

I hardly dare correct the spelling these days.
posted by jaduncan at 11:44 AM on June 26, 2011


Ah.
posted by fantodstic at 11:45 AM on June 26, 2011


The political landscape of the times [falkand war] and the pent up anger channeled through both those goals and that match also play a huge part in understanding why they're both so iconic.


from Maradona's autobiography: "it was as if we had beaten a country, not just a football team... Although we had said before the game that football had nothing to do with the Malvinas war, we knew they had killed a lot of Argentine boys there, killed them like little birds. And this was revenge."
posted by wayofthedodo at 11:46 AM on June 26, 2011


Speaking of cockiness, check out this penalty during the '06 WC Final.

I bet deep down there was a brief "OH SHIT I MISSED HIGH" moment right before he hit the crossbar though.

If you get a chance to see ZIDANE any time, I recommend it. Interesting portrait.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:48 AM on June 26, 2011


Here's the beauty in 720p for better appreciation.

What made this remarkable to me wasn't just the fantastic finish, but the effort in making it. Looks at the graceful dancing footwork at 59 seconds to shuffle the ball away from Howard, combined with the awareness, better seen earlier around 50 seconds, needed to make a just little bit of space for himself, followed by the amazing shot itself.

It was a shining individual effort, albeit against an admittedly tired looking defense, finished by impressive technical skills to hit the most undefendable part of the net with the only trajectory that would put the ball out of harms way.

I was rooting for the US in this, but my jaw dropped and I literally sat applauding from my couch when the shot went off.
posted by jammer at 11:51 AM on June 26, 2011


Found this in the sidebar of the ZIDANE trailer.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:56 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Question: In a case like that, shouldn't the defender use his hands and take a chance on the penalty kick?

I thought of that too, but it's such a shitty thing to do, to rob the world of a beautiful goal like that.


The fact that he didn't, the fact that the thought probably never even crossed his mind until after all was said and done and the ball had settled gingerly into the corner of the net, that is LOVE for the game. Beyond winning or losing, its about respect for the other team and for the ability of a person to create new and amazing and clever ways of defeating the opposition.

What made this remarkable to me wasn't just the fantastic finish, but the effort in making it.

Look carefully. For me, the most amazing part of this is that from the second that Dos Santos receives the ball until after his shot, he never once looks up to see where he is in relation to the goal. He Just Knows.
posted by wayofthedodo at 11:58 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Found this in the sidebar of the ZIDANE trailer.

That's a good compilation (although a bit shitty in video quality). My favorite part of that vid was how Zidane owns this guy.
posted by fantodstic at 12:01 PM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


While I'm at it: I think my all time favorite goal is Ryan Gigg's goal against Arsenal in '99.

I hardly dare correct the spelling these days.
posted by jaduncan at 7:44 PM on June 26 [+] [!]


Just wanted to clarify in the thread that this was a Giggs injunction joke, not intended to grammar/spelling Nazi fantodstic.
posted by jaduncan at 12:06 PM on June 26, 2011


Well done, that man!

I'm currently reading Terry Pratchett's Unseen Academicals, so I suddenly have an interest in and appreciation of foot-the-ball.
posted by SPrintF at 12:11 PM on June 26, 2011


The Asian Cup was settled by this doozy. I like this particular video because you can see how Tadanari notices the momentary loss of concentration of the Australian defense, moves into space, and takes his chance beautifully.
posted by Kattullus at 12:13 PM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


He is not a man, he is Cantona

If we're going to start posting links to Le Roi (and we should), then this other excerpt from Looking for Eric is a must (two great goals, his favourite moment, and some worker solidarity, all in one clip...).
posted by Infinite Jest at 12:14 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


(Unseen Academicals was greatly enhanced, for me, by watching Green Street so I had at least a vague and Hollywoodish grasp on the football hooligan thing.)
posted by restless_nomad at 12:14 PM on June 26, 2011


this other excerpt from Looking for Eric is a must

Whoah, I kind of stopped paying attention to Ken Loach for some reason after The Wind That Shakes the Barley, that looks like one to check out.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:17 PM on June 26, 2011


LoudMusic: Why the hell did the goalie follow him away from the goal? STAY IN YOUR POSITION!

cmoj: No, Howard made the right play.

Isn't this one of those 'of course you come out' situations?

Goalkeeping is not the art of standing around on the goal line waiting for someone to kick the ball at you.
posted by hoyland at 12:34 PM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Why the hell did the goalie follow him away from the goal?

Because (as far as I can see) Dos Santos psyched out Howard and made him go for the ball, in order to draw him out. I may be over-reading this though.
posted by carter at 12:45 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


You can see where Howard remembers what he is supposed to be doing, and changes direction.
posted by carter at 12:46 PM on June 26, 2011


For a few games Giovanni Dos Santos played on loan for my team, Ipswich Town. Then he had to go back to being wasted at Spurs. Watching this kind of hurts.
posted by bebrogued at 12:51 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


How can Cantona be discussed without mentioning this?

That was during the press conference following the match in which Cantona infamously kung-fu kicked a fan.
posted by beisny at 1:05 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why the hell did the goalie follow him away from the goal? STAY IN YOUR POSITION!

Goalkeeping isn't about standing on the goal line. A good goalkeeper know when to stay on his line and when to come for the ball, or close down an opponent.

If we're talking about great goals - anyone who wants to see some real dazzling skill, proper throwback George Best football - check out this guy. He mesmerises defenders to the extent they cant get a tackle in. And not just a dribbler, for one of the best passes you will ever see check out 5:56 in the second vid.
posted by fire&wings at 1:12 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Since people are asking what makes a particular goal great, here's a little dissection of one of my favorite goals ever, Michael Owen in the 98 WC versus Argentina:

To begin, you have the backstory of England's unfair elimination at the hand (get it?) of Maradonna and Argentina years earlier. Then, when Owen gets the ball, he shows class and ability by out-sprinting the defenders and playing on beyond the shoving and shirt-tugging, when many players would have intentionally fallen to draw a foul. Finally, he shoots with force and precision, beating the keeper and putting the ball in the back of the net. Cap it off with a little foreign-language commentary shouting "Splendida gol, splendida gol!" to really get the feel for the game - though there's better video in this English-language version.

Vengeance, skill, sportsmanship and hope for the future (in that he was only 18 at the time) all bundled into 10 short seconds that could come at any moment in the long, long game: that's what soccer is all about.
posted by richyoung at 1:14 PM on June 26, 2011


Matt Le Tissier owns this thread, and all 'greatest goals' discussions really revolve around how your favourite goal isn't up to the standards set by Le Tiss.
posted by N-stoff at 1:16 PM on June 26, 2011 [15 favorites]


Le Tissier = Monster
posted by fantodstic at 1:25 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


best. celebration. ever.
posted by askmehow at 1:37 PM on June 26, 2011




Ricky Villa in the 81 cup final.
posted by MattWPBS at 1:40 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


MattWPBS, can you show me how you embedded that video in a Metafilter pop up?
posted by fantodstic at 1:43 PM on June 26, 2011


Hmmm. I'm on my phone, but I just pasted it into the box that pops up when you click "link" below the comment box.
posted by MattWPBS at 1:49 PM on June 26, 2011


I don't see video in MattWPBS's comment.
posted by BeerFilter at 1:50 PM on June 26, 2011


Matt Le Tissier is, without doubt, the greatest player ever to win three caps and underwhelm in each appearance. I love him regardless. Seems like a fabulous bloke and is a totem for underachievers everywhere.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:52 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


And if you look closely Ricky Villa was just trying not fall over and scored by accident.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:56 PM on June 26, 2011


best celebration ever

The great thing about that goal is that Cantona had the time to admire his shot before it actually went in. He knew as soon as he chipped it that is was going in.

And as far as chipped penalties go, there's a reason it's called a Panenka.
posted by asterix at 2:05 PM on June 26, 2011


Forget the greatest goals, what about the greatest misses? That's where you get the most bang for your entertainment buck.
posted by jcruelty at 2:13 PM on June 26, 2011


Matt Le Tissier owns this thread, and all 'greatest goals' discussions really revolve around how your favourite goal isn't up to the standards set by Le Tiss.

Favourited so hard I've just broken my little plus sign.
posted by reynir at 2:21 PM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Favourited so hard I've just broken my little plus sign.

This.

Eponysterical? Why yes I am.
posted by saintsguy at 2:49 PM on June 26, 2011


Santos is a freak. He scored a similar goal (forward it until around 00:30) against New Zealand last month. The audacity of dribbling around a keeper.

... there should be a rule that says you're not allowed to upload sports videos to Youtube in 240p, ever.

No there shouldn't. What a ridiculous rule. Notwithstanding the fact that there are some amazing videos that otherwise wouldn't be uploaded because there were only one or two people watching with the inclination to upload them, there are still internet users (I would imagine a majority, actually) for whom loading a high quality video takes some time.
posted by doublehappy at 2:59 PM on June 26, 2011


Matt Le Tissier owns this thread, and all 'greatest goals' discussions really revolve around how your favourite goal isn't up to the standards set by Le Tiss.

My favorite thing about that video is how after every goal, his teammates jump on his back, and every time, he's visibly annoyed about it.
posted by I've a Horse Outside at 3:08 PM on June 26, 2011


I am currently in San Francisco. Last night I was in a bar full of Mexicans and I saw this goal go in. The place erupted so loudly I thought the Big One had hit. My ears are still ringing.
posted by Decani at 3:59 PM on June 26, 2011


there should be a rule that says you're not allowed to upload sports videos to Youtube in 240p, ever.

I think the 240p ones are the only ones that survive the attention of the copyright police.
posted by dhartung at 3:59 PM on June 26, 2011


this thread, with all these goals, is the very definition of footie porn.
that is all.
posted by liza at 4:07 PM on June 26, 2011


Archie Gemmill, World Cup 1978, Scotland 3-2 Holland.

My favourite goal. Just watch his body, perfect balance. It's like ballet. Bergkamp was like that too...
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 4:13 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't have a favorite goal but I do think this one by Clint Dempsey is lovely.
posted by A dead Quaker at 4:47 PM on June 26, 2011


Most sports are a mystery to me. But these other impossible-looking goals make my brain go "fnar?" and "snuh?" simultaneously in appreciation.
posted by massless at 4:50 PM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


And then there is the not so beautiful game.
posted by bwg at 5:07 PM on June 26, 2011


Biased, but I think this one is pretty great.
posted by josher71 at 5:17 PM on June 26, 2011


Truly the greatest goal, and greatest goal video on the interwebs.
posted by metaxa at 5:29 PM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Really, this should be an FPP all by itself, but anyhoo here it is:
The 100 greatest world cup moments. (dated 2004)
posted by Vindaloo at 6:15 PM on June 26, 2011


Here is Zidane scoring the best goal ever. It is clearly the best, and I would like to thank the thread participants for providing the suspense that has led to this moment. But we can stop now. Because this goal is the best goal.
posted by Errant at 7:54 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Most sports are a mystery to me. But these other impossible-looking goals make my brain go "fnar?" and "snuh?" simultaneously in appreciation.

I love the top-ranked comment in there: "Wow.. I cant even do this shit on´╗┐ Fifa 11."
posted by fantodstic at 9:48 PM on June 26, 2011


Oh hai everyone, I'm David Beckham, you're going to be hearing a lot more about me.
posted by Infinite Jest at 1:51 AM on June 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Goalkeeping is not the art of standing around on the goal line waiting for someone to kick the ball at you.

Agreed that Howard did the right thing. The keeper comes out toward the player to cut down the available angle on the goal. It was the percentage move.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 5:15 AM on June 27, 2011


Question: In a case like that, shouldn't the defender use his hands and take a chance on the penalty kick?

The Hand of God doesn't work for America.

This is what's called a professional foul -- on the face, it's smarter to commit the foul than to play fair.

So, what happens (presuming it's spotted.) The defender gets a red card for DOGSO*, and the attackers get a penalty kick. This, in the context of the game, is a better deal for the defender -- he trades a certain goal for an uncertain penalty, and late in the game, being down one person isn't as critical.

Afterwards, however, that defender will be exclude from at least one, if not more, games because of the red card.

Many sports have fixes for professional fouls, but most of them come after the game. In American Football however, they will actually give a score in the cases of a "palpably unfair act". The canonical example of this is a player on the bench running on the field during a play to tackle a ball carrier who's broken free and is running for the goal. If a PUA is called, it's six points for the fouled team, along with "disqualification" for the player who committed the foul.

That's an exception, though. In most professional sports, the answer to professional fouls comes in fines and suspensions after the game. In some sports, there are unofficial remedies -- see the beanball in Baseball, and in hockey, well, they don't call that guy the enforcer for nothing.

* DOGSO -- "Denial of Obvious Goal Scoring Opportunity." The keys -- it has to be a foul, it has to be an obvious goal, and the goal then needs to be denied. The result -- the defender committing the foul is sent off automatically, and then the foul is granted as normal. It's theoretically possible for DOGSO to occur outside of the penalty box, in which case, it's a DFK, not a penalty, but the defender is still off, and the vast majority of these end with a penalty kick after the red card.

A favorite test for soccer refs is setting up situations that look like DOGSO but aren't -- usually because it's not a penalty or it's not obvious, but every so often, because a goal was scored. A defender who commits DOGSO, but then kicks the ball into his own net, has just saved himself a red card.
posted by eriko at 6:26 AM on June 27, 2011


You guys, reading this thread as a non-football watcher is like mountain climbing.
But without all the frostbite and beef jerky, and with all the fun, crunchy 'My mountain is bigger than your mountain/Pshaw, your mountain is puny and also, it has stupid hair' bits left in.

My jaw hung open at that Le Tissier video. Dude is so nonchalant about these almost idly-perfect things he's doing.

But then I saw this other one and my brain just could not fathom what had happened for a moment. And when it did, my jaw dropped even further.

In conclusion, more arguing about football through the medium of duelling Youtube videos, please.
posted by pseudonymph at 7:04 AM on June 27, 2011


I'm of some really mixed opinion here.. Yes, the goal is impressive.

But given how often these guys can't hit the friggen net, I'm not sure I can say any were really skillful, rather than lucky. All this talk of hitting the far left corner, off foot, etc etc. What's the "on goal" percentage for players ? I'd think it's under 33%, but am having trouble finding hard stats on it..
posted by k5.user at 8:35 AM on June 27, 2011


The point is not the "on goal" percentage for player, as much as that vs. the "on goal" percentage for non-players... If they do better than you or I, they're skilful, by definition. Skill =/= Perfection...
posted by benzo8 at 8:44 AM on June 27, 2011


But given how often these guys can't hit the friggen net, I'm not sure I can say any were really skillful, rather than lucky.

I think a lot of the time when people point to players missing empty nets it's on a contested one-touch. There is a huge difference between accuracy on a one-touch and when a player can collect the ball. You have to account for velocity and spin, etc. Just cause they miss an occasional open net doesn't mean the placement of their shots is random.

To switch sports, look at hockey. People can break plates with wrist shots from the blue line with great accuracy, but often miss open nets while going at full speed on a one-timer with a bouncing puck. When you get a breakaway, however, you have the time to do exactly what you want with the puck.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:50 AM on June 27, 2011


I think where the ball/puck will go is a probability cloud. The pros have a smaller cloud, but within that zone, perfection is still lucky.
posted by Trochanter at 9:05 AM on June 27, 2011


For chips from just inside the area, I really like this Dempsey goal versus Juventus from last year.

And then there's Gio van Bronckhorst with maybe the best "I'm retiring, have it" moment I've ever seen, possibly barring Zidane.
posted by Errant at 11:02 AM on June 27, 2011


Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again, with a name like Giovanni van Bronckhorst, he wasn't so much retiring as quitting before it became too obvious that he wasn't human, but a 638 year old vampire count.

That goal inspired one of my favorite examples of the genre of "explaining soccer to Americans." Like most such examples, it's written by an American, in this case Joe Posnanski: That Unexpected Moment.
posted by Kattullus at 11:38 AM on June 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


The interesting thing about the Roberto Carlos "Impossible goals" video is how mind-bending they are to non-players. Not to say that there are many other people who have done that kind of thing as well as Carlos, but anyone who's played at a very high level will certainly have seen these kinds of plays from the pitch, if they haven't executed some of them.

That's one of the things so beautiful about this game. A kid playing club ball in Texas experiences the same kinds of astounding things that an EPL or South American pro does. Seeing that ball bend around a wall and into the goal is amazing. Seeing that ball bend around a wall and into the goal from your own foot is what makes you pity the "lol soccer" crowd.
posted by cmoj at 12:12 PM on June 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Saw it. Sure, nice placement, but not that great nor unusual a goal....

Oh well, I guess it's worth it for a favorite goals chat. ^_^

For one of my favorite dribbling goals, see George Best in NASL.

My other favorite classic dribbling goal is Maradona World Cup 1986 vs. England.

Then, of course, Messi vs. Getafe in 2007.

If you prefer long shots, this video is pure porn. Check out the goal at 2:35 and tell me if you've ever seen anyone score from there (in a pro match).

And you can never go wrong with Bergkamp. 1998 was sublime. Dennis Bergkamp - 100 Fantastische Goals

Goals of Galazo's quality might not happen every day, but they sure as hell happen almost every week.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:12 PM on June 27, 2011


Oh, how could I forget to link you guys to Michael Essien's CRACKING shot against Arsenal?

Click here for that glorious shot.
posted by fantodstic at 7:23 PM on June 27, 2011


Arsenal has been on the receiving side of quite a few astounding goals...
posted by Skeptic at 8:21 PM on June 27, 2011


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