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Drugs Are Like That
August 5, 2011 5:45 PM   Subscribe


 
Anita Bryant wants...

Pure evil is like that.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:49 PM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


Why isn't she dead yet?
posted by Splunge at 5:50 PM on August 5, 2011 [6 favorites]


Evil is a preservative , see Strom Thurman
posted by The Whelk at 5:55 PM on August 5, 2011 [8 favorites]


This sounds like the worst acid trip ever.
posted by codswallop at 5:59 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


This sounds like the worst acid trip ever.

Anita Bryant wants to tell your kids about LEGOs using drugs
posted by philip-random at 6:03 PM on August 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


I encourage you to watch the whole thing, but even more so, I encourage you to buy the Rifftrax version.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:04 PM on August 5, 2011 [9 favorites]


It's perhaps unsurprising how little this video actually explains about drugs & their effects. I almost get the feeling what the producers are really saying is that drugs are unknowable, a mystery that cannot & should not be understood. Their real answer to any questions is "because it is, that's why".
posted by scalefree at 6:04 PM on August 5, 2011 [4 favorites]


that box of Legos would be worth a mint.
as much a a short clip of an Anita bukkake luncheon.

people are like that.
posted by clavdivs at 6:07 PM on August 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


"I just did it for kicks!"

ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS:

You know what? Sexting is like that.

You know what? Orbitz soda was like that.

You know what? Glee: The 3D Concert Movie is like that.
posted by katillathehun at 6:08 PM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


drugs using LEGOs

But *how* are the drugs using LEGOs?
posted by spinifex23 at 6:09 PM on August 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


I always get confused. Is this the one that sings "Sweet Love" (rad song) or the homophobic orange juice one?
posted by Senor Cardgage at 6:14 PM on August 5, 2011


Wait, so what they're saying is that drugs are as much mind-expanding fun as Lego?

So much conflicting information. I don't think they really thought this through very far.

They should have used Micronauts or something cheesy as a their 70s toy metaphor.

"Micronauts are shiny, expensive and lots of fun at first. Then you get bored when the shine wears off, they fall apart and break and the next thing you know you're collecting rare Playmobil figurines, spending your days groveling on your knees digging through boxes of garbage at flea markets and thrift shops trying to complete your set of Playmobil pirates that haven't been teethed on or passed through the intestinal tract of a dog."
posted by loquacious at 6:14 PM on August 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


A lot of the closeup Lego construction footage has a decidedly Charles and Ray Eames look to it.

Now, in that early opening shot, where they repeatedly intercut shots of falling pills with the Legos tumbling out of the box: the drugs look so shiny and colorful, and desirable. Like candy! Exactly the sort of thing that made me want to try drugs back in the 70s, around the time this film was made! They looked GOOD!

Thankfully, the odious Anita Bryant doesn't actually appear in this film. You know, dear old Anita, she was kinda the Sarah Palin of her day, wasn't she? But the fact that Palin is 10 times more venal than Bryant serves to illustrate how vile the current political landscape has become in the ensuing decades.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:15 PM on August 5, 2011 [7 favorites]


MetaFilter: It's a machine, and it works, and it's perfect, and it just keeps on working.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:21 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


No Legos, but Sonny Bono inveighing the evils of marijuana while obviously stoned certainly counts for something.
posted by squalor at 6:25 PM on August 5, 2011


I needed to google Anita Bryant and wiki's first sentence ends, "...an American singer, former Miss Oklahoma and gay rights opponent."

And against drugs?

Increasingly often I find that I can't tell if a particular demagogue is doing it for political power or if they actually believe their prejudicial exhortations.
posted by porpoise at 6:27 PM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


Sonny Bono inveighing the evils of marijuana while obviously stoned

Yes. Sonny attended the Elvis Presley School of How To Be Obviously Stoned While Campaigning Against Drug Use.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:33 PM on August 5, 2011


As David Allan Coe said, Fuck Anita Bryant.
posted by jonmc at 6:38 PM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]


To quote a man of questionable wisdom, fuck Anita Bryant.

Wait this is from the 70s? Why do we care? Is this retro enough to be hip now?
posted by jeffamaphone at 6:40 PM on August 5, 2011


It doubles as a metaphor for Intelligent Design; maybe the fundies can repurpose it.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:41 PM on August 5, 2011


At least she didn't threaten to come to your house and slit your puppy's throat.
posted by TedW at 6:42 PM on August 5, 2011


Wait this is from the 70s?

Yes.

Why do we care?

Because looking back at artifacts from decades past is interesting and enlightening.

Is this retro enough to be hip now?

You seem to be concerned with what's "hip". But only you can decide that for yourself. If you merely allow yourself to be told what's hip, you are... a hipster.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:43 PM on August 5, 2011 [6 favorites]


You simply must turn on the "Transcribe Audio" captions. (Click the CC in the corner and choose the option from the pull-up menu.)


I am completely addicted to the surreal randomness of the transcribed captions. Drugs are like that too!


And by "like that" I mean great one just aren't going to get to confirming that you really bilkin. Eleven candidates for the day, Eric guarantee the baby. Don't write if you are real good ballplayers, I need you lat bloc party mainland China do something like Limbaugh. I don't have that you know you mean like the Rhine Democrats are some company alag bat. An internal Russian mission, he said Russian radio, trainer like you preveen okay, train every campaign, every camp. Far right reaction transchem right here. Liberian lefty anything but when it does can't Contract with America itself.


Yes, drugs are EXACTLY like that. Just say NO, kids.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:46 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I can confirm that playing Legos when you're high is a shitload of fun.
posted by bondcliff at 6:47 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


My favorite were the inexplicable bleep bloop bleep sounds the machine made as it started to fail.

Drugs are like that.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 6:53 PM on August 5, 2011


Some kid is going to make a LEGO bong now.
posted by eriko at 6:54 PM on August 5, 2011


Frodo: What's the Elvish word for bitch?

Gandalf: Anita Bryant.
posted by Dodecadermaldenticles at 7:00 PM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]




It's kind of interesting how it took maybe 3 or 4 years for the sounds and images that were used for doing drugs to be used against drugs.

Also, Phyllis Schafley lasted from the 70s until now, what happened to Bryant...she seemed kind of prophetic.
posted by PinkMoose at 7:08 PM on August 5, 2011


Grandparents know best
posted by The Whelk at 7:20 PM on August 5, 2011


What's the Elvish word for bitch?

Elvish was a naish Mishishippi boy. He alwaysh shaid "ma'am".
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:22 PM on August 5, 2011 [5 favorites]


Anita can fuck off.... that is all.
posted by tomswift at 7:36 PM on August 5, 2011


Take some neat stuff like, I don't know, chemical components or a bunch of cool colorful toy pieces, and assemble them into something that's fun to play with but has no real purpose other than amusing people.

What's the difference?
posted by longsleeves at 7:44 PM on August 5, 2011


"She sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" during the graveside services for Lyndon B. Johnson in 1973" (wiki pg. on AB)

Lyndon: "Anita, honey, get me a Fresca, I wanna show you my longhorned cadillac."
posted by clavdivs at 7:44 PM on August 5, 2011


What's the difference?

I can get more at Wal-mart?
posted by clavdivs at 7:45 PM on August 5, 2011


I can get more at Wal-mart?

You missed my point, which is very likely my fault.
posted by longsleeves at 7:48 PM on August 5, 2011


They had BATTERY-POWERED Lego sets? Why was I not informed of this?!?

MOM & DAD NEVER BOUGHT ME THAT AND NOW I HATE THEM AND I'M GONNA GO DO DRUGS ABOUT IT
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:48 PM on August 5, 2011 [4 favorites]


Have you ever tried smoking powdered Legos? It's fucking awesome. Try not to get too many red pieces into the mix.
posted by Keith Talent at 7:51 PM on August 5, 2011


Thank you, Mom & Dad, for buying me all those drugs when I was growing up.
posted by contessa at 7:59 PM on August 5, 2011


This has been one of my favorite rifftrax shorts ever. It's up there with the classic, best of the best MST3k shorts like "Uncle Jim's Diary Farm" and the two Union Pacific Railroad safety films.

There are times every now and then my wife and I randomly switch to the "Drugs are Like That" script, turning wandering conversations into:

Mrs. C "What?"
Mr. C "Huh?"
Mrs. C "What that lady said."
Mr. C "About what?"
Mrs. C "Huh?"
Mr. C "Who?"
Mrs. C "Babies are dumb."
Mr. C "What baby?"
Mrs. C "Huh?"
Mr. C "We don't have a baby."
Mrs. C "The lady didn't have one either."
Mr. C "You know what?"
Mrs. C "What?"
Mr. C "Creamed corn is like that"

I don't think there is a better match for me than my wife. Love is like that.
posted by chambers at 8:07 PM on August 5, 2011 [9 favorites]


The Lego machine experienced ego death and can now be built into something useful. Drugs are like that.
posted by codacorolla at 8:36 PM on August 5, 2011


I was watching lots of kids' TV growing up when this looks like it was made, and I do not remember seeing this. There were a few that got a lot of play.

This one doesn't even make sense; the analogy is faulty.
posted by longsleeves at 8:36 PM on August 5, 2011


Mrs. C "What?"
Mr. C "Huh?"


I think I just coughed up a lung.

Thanks, chambers.
posted by arkham_inmate_0801 at 8:39 PM on August 5, 2011


no longsleeves, I am in a lego addict and I am in denial.
posted by clavdivs at 8:40 PM on August 5, 2011


in denile of wal-mart
BUYING MORE LEGOS
posted by clavdivs at 8:41 PM on August 5, 2011


Claw-claw, You need to be baptized in de Jordan River. Now, where did I leave the papyrus?
posted by longsleeves at 9:02 PM on August 5, 2011


Seconding the Rifftrax recommendation. Here's a favorite moment of mine.
posted by ShutterBun at 9:54 PM on August 5, 2011


Anita Bryant can suck my dick. I haven't had a glass of orange juice in over 25 years because of her (and my stomach that cannot handle the acidic juice.)
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:01 PM on August 5, 2011


I'm going to need to do more drugs before I'm willing to watch that.
posted by b1tr0t at 10:18 PM on August 5, 2011


You know what, this is probably kind of funny, if I were to watch it. And I laugh at "I'm so excited, I'm so scared" like the next person. But really, when you think about the War on Drugs and what it's done to this country, and to poor people and minorities in particular, maybe we should think of anti-drug propaganda the same way we think of "Birth of a Nation" or "Triumph of the Will."
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:45 PM on August 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


The DRUG machine experienced ego death and can now be built into something useful. LEGO is like that.
posted by philip-random at 11:41 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


1. ADHD is like that.
2. Lego is like that?
posted by Sys Rq at 11:43 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


Legos go like this, but Lincoln Logs go like this, amirite?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:08 AM on August 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Is Legos a planet in Dr. Who?
posted by Sutekh at 8:19 AM on August 6, 2011


I haven seen anything this nauseating since I ordered the fish on that passenger jet in 1980.
posted by condour75 at 8:21 AM on August 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Speaking of nauseating, does anyone remember her appearance in Roger and Me? Michael Moore interviewed her for it, and she prattled blithely on about how the unemployed of Flint, who in a devastated local economy had no prospect of paid work even at minimum wage and were getting evicted from their homes, should just "be glad they had their health" and "go work with their hands".

I punctuated her sentences by snarling, "SHUT UP!!!!" at the screen. It was one of the most disgustingly clueless and insensitive displays of its kind I've ever seen.
posted by orange swan at 8:35 AM on August 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


"go work with their hands"

Huh. I always figured Anita Bryant was the kind of person who'd be strongly opposed to handjobs.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:24 AM on August 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'd rather see Seth Rogen tell my kids about LEGOs using drugs.
posted by Naberius at 10:13 AM on August 6, 2011


I've alwaysed wanted to be in a shower of random pharmaceuticals!
posted by handbanana at 10:14 AM on August 6, 2011


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