Who wants to be a Princess?

September 22, 2001 3:14 PM

Who wants to be a Princess? Remember "Who wants to marry a Multimillionaire?" Remember how it turned into a big scandal? Remember how Fox promised they wouldn't do it again? Well, they're doing it again this coming Monday.
posted by Steven Den Beste (36 comments total)

Steven, they're clearly different. One was a millionaire. This is a PRINCESS!
posted by Doug at 3:22 PM on September 22, 2001

Record. Recut. Upload.
posted by joemaller at 3:25 PM on September 22, 2001

All their bases may very well belong to us but I'm still puzzled by recently-married Rupert Murdoch's taste in women.
What exactly are the 30 "ypung" women?
How do they compare with the 72 virgins of Jihad fame?
How does a pleb like me go about meeting one of those "eurpoean" princesses?
What weird variant of xyledia or zeimhaller's has affected Fux?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:43 PM on September 22, 2001

Here we go again...

What'll they come up with next season? I think they're running out of status symbols to marry shallow game show contestants off to.

"Who Wants to Marry This Guy?"
"Who Wants to Be A Fox Executive?"
posted by tomorama at 3:44 PM on September 22, 2001

Hopefully, Fox run a background check on this prince.
posted by Witold at 3:52 PM on September 22, 2001

Clearly, this is a plot hatched by Playboy to get their first official Princess? pictorial.
posted by dhartung at 4:35 PM on September 22, 2001

I do, Steven! I want to be a Princess, with all my heart!! (sobbing)

Is that so wrong?!?
posted by Optamystic at 5:31 PM on September 22, 2001

Are there any 'modern women' out there who can chime in on this? This seems so... 1950s to me. Really, who "wants" to be a princess? It sounds so demeaning.

I saw this commercial the other night and was totally taken aback. I searched Fox.com but it had a broken link for this show. Thanks for posting this, Steven Den Beste.
posted by hotdoughnutsnow at 5:38 PM on September 22, 2001

I suspect that the "prince" in question will be either a scion of a long-deposed European ruling house, or a cash-strapped junior royal from a microstate. There are a surprisingly large number of German "princes", descendents of the families which ruled the pre-unification states, so while the lucky groom may not be a fraud this time, the bride might be better off with the Artist Now Once Again Known As Prince.
posted by holgate at 6:24 PM on September 22, 2001

It does seem rather dumb, because princes aren't that rare on the continent, so they aren't as valuable as they seem. Plus this prince must be rather broke or odd to agree to a scheme like this. Sure, arranged marriage may be in his blood, but still.....

How much does a title go for these days? Prince is worth a lot in Britain, but not so much in Russia. I'm not sure if I'd rather be in Burke's peerage or the Alamanac de Gotha.
posted by Charmian at 6:29 PM on September 22, 2001

When I saw that link up there, I thought it sounded like a game show based on that kid's "Pretty Pretty Princess" jewelry game. I wonder if they told the contestants exactly what sort of "prince" they'd be competing for. Aren't these the sorts of guys that are frequently seen in those stupid royalty magazines and gossip columns?

All in all, I'd rather be a magical girl than a princess. That's what I get for watching all that anime.
posted by Electric Elf at 7:21 PM on September 22, 2001

Sweet smoking Jesus. The very word 'princess' makes my stomach turn. I've had it up to my sparkly plastic tiara with these scary middle-aged women and their glitter pink "Bow to the PRINCESS" baby tees and their holographic "Make Way for the PRINCESS" bumper stickers (the latter usually seen at close range as they cut in front of my plebeian car without once turning their precious heads).

If they want to fulfill their romantic dreams of, um, royalty - more power to 'em. Don't let the door catch your thirty-foot train on the way out.
posted by spinning jennie at 7:47 PM on September 22, 2001

Next Fall on Fox, "Who Wants To Marry Osama Bin Laden?"
posted by spilon at 8:54 PM on September 22, 2001

One can take some measure of comfort in the fact that it is the aristocracy that get guillotined first when the revolution comes :)
posted by UncleFes at 9:25 PM on September 22, 2001

Plus this prince must be rather broke or odd to agree to a scheme like this. Sure, arranged marriage may be in his blood, but still.....

Arranged marriage? Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't the prince get to pick who wins? It looks like a high publicity mail order bride scam to me.

"Hi I'm a deposed aging prince looking for some lovely American ladies."

I think the marriage aspect is just plain weird. Fox should really appeal to its audience and go for some like "Who want to fuck a celebrity?" I'd watch that. Preferably rock stars and actors. It could be like blind date but no ones going home alone.

Its completely plausible. I remember watching some documentary and there was a couple in line to meet Gene Simmons. They both claimed to be drug and alcohol free (go figure) and the guy really wanted his wife to have sex with Gene. He thought it would be neat.

Clearly, this is a plot hatched by Playboy to get their first official Princess? pictorial.

I wouldn't doubt it. Even after the divorce she gets to keep the Princess title. Once she gets dumped or gets sick of him there's always Hef's money waiting for her.
posted by skallas at 10:18 PM on September 22, 2001

You're right, skallas, but I believe that usually it's the parents/prime minister who would choose the bride.

One night celebrity stand sounds better. Everybody wins. Obsessed groupies get to have some with their idol, and an instant fame boost for their careers. Star gets most attractive of the groupie pool. Fox gets publicity. Pundits get fodder. And less bogus sentimentality. I'm sure the lawyers could find some way not to run afoul of the pandering/procuring laws. Perhaps you have a real idea here.
posted by Charmian at 10:26 PM on September 22, 2001

Perhaps you have a real idea here.


I'm just a hack, after I wrote that I remembered seeing "who wants to sleep with a porn star" on Howard Stern's tv-show. For some unfair reason I think a non-porn celebrity would be classier and make better TV. Well, porn celebrities are barely famous compared to Hollywood stars.
posted by skallas at 11:18 PM on September 22, 2001

For some unfair reason I think a non-porn celebrity would be classier and make better TV

Ya think Janeane Garofolo would go for something like this? Probably not, huh? (sigh) Well, a guy can hope, can't he?
posted by Optamystic at 1:01 AM on September 23, 2001

Ya think Janeane Garofolo would go for something like this? Probably not, huh? (sigh) Well, a guy can hope, can't he?

You're a delightfully strange man, Optamystic.
posted by pudders at 2:31 AM on September 23, 2001

If they wanted to be honest, and get higher ratings, they could have labeled the show "Who wants to be a high priced hooker?" or "Who wants a million dollar trick?"

Probably get a more interesting selection of contestants, too!
posted by Steven Den Beste at 5:36 AM on September 23, 2001

Maybe Fox could buy a European island, set up a monarchy and associated parasitic aristocracy, build a palace and have a court full of young, photogenic royalty they could film. Then Americans could have all the benefits of the most glamorous monarchy in the world while remaining a republic. I nominate the Isle of Wight. It's already got a royal palace - Osborne House. You could have her Lady of Shanklin Sands and the Earl of Alum Bay. It would be just fab.
posted by Summer at 7:07 AM on September 23, 2001

Optamystic:

The question is, does Janeane Garofalo want to sleep with a princess.

If so, you are in business.
posted by Sapphireblue at 10:50 AM on September 23, 2001

I have a better idea. Who Wants to be an Absolute Monarch? Fox purchases an island in the middle of nowhere. Contestants prove their own worthiness as despots.
posted by Charmian at 1:21 PM on September 23, 2001

Who Wants to be an Absolute Monarch?

I would compete for that prize.
posted by rebeccablood at 1:30 PM on September 23, 2001

Who Wants to be an Absolute Monarch?

Now that would rule (pun intended).
posted by spinning jennie at 5:23 PM on September 23, 2001

After the terrible attack on my country I cringed when I heard about the upcoming show "Who Wants To Be a Princess". I see these stupid women as superficial and give my gender, as well as America, a bad name. When the prince was revealed I was in shock. I am unfortunately related to this so-called "prince" and never knew it.
posted by Gia at 6:34 PM on September 25, 2001

you watched it?
posted by rebeccablood at 7:02 PM on September 25, 2001

OK, let's hear it. Who was it? What happened? I'm curious (but not curious enough to actually watch the show.) Was there a marriage this time or simply a date?
posted by Steven Den Beste at 7:02 PM on September 25, 2001

Yes Rebeccablood...I was dumb and wanted to see who the loser prince was...thought it may be Prince Albert of Monaco since he was previously linked to a porn star. You got me.
posted by Gia at 7:46 PM on September 25, 2001

Pretty please? Who was it? What happened?
posted by Steven Den Beste at 8:04 PM on September 25, 2001

Hi! I'm just dying to say something negative about this ridiculous excuse for a tv show. Not only was the show crazy, but the tramps on it left me feeling as though the world really has gone insane. I started watching in the begining of the show, planning on turning it off of course. I became glued to the TV when these 'women' were saying things like... "Hi..My name is Jennifer..and I'm a lawer" .
Then they proceded to answer questions about their sex life. The best was when he asked Elizabeth the most provacative place she has had sex. I was hoping her reply would be something like " sorry, I respectfully decline to answer that question" .... but to my dismay...she said ... " on a boat at a boat show...hehehehheheh" OH DEAR LORD...HELP THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please ..... for the sake of humanity...... have some decency. Some pride..respect...class. etc.... Am I the only one who was nauseated by the way these women acted? Oh--- my other favorite part was what I like to call.... "Segment 3, Meatmarket" The women strutting around in bathing suits doing amatuer porn star moves. Could it have gotten any cheaper? I swear they forgot to add the bowm chicka bowm bowm porn music. Maybe they lost the cd. Then we get to segment 4.... for those who haven't seen it.... the remaining women were able to say something to the prince. All of them basically saying the week had been the best experience of their life. WOW--- and I thought my life was boring! So... in the end ... a barbie- like woman won the 'title' and bounced away with her prince. No horse....no carriage..... just a prince, with a striking resemblance to a teanage mutant ninja turtle. After all the strides women have made towards equal rights.... and these bimbos go and ruin it for us. In conclusion....I am doing a speech in my college class on this subject... so if anyone has anything to contribute...please post it or write to me *[e-mail]* . It would be greatly appreciated... as I want to graduate college and make a life for myself..... not get a boob job and wait for some moron to make my life for me.
posted by AdrienneP at 10:13 PM on September 25, 2001

Sigh; no-one's going to tell me who the Prince actually was. Sigh.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 5:16 AM on September 26, 2001

Steven, I heard it in the other room, I think it was a guy from Rome.
posted by jmackin at 11:58 AM on September 26, 2001

As if once wasn't enough... there will be a "special encore presentation" of the show on Thursday night.
posted by markbos at 1:21 PM on September 26, 2001

..And I ain't gonna watch it this time, either!
posted by Steven Den Beste at 6:18 PM on September 26, 2001

This travesty was a disgrace.

Prince Giovanelli of Rome, has a PhD in Economics, is the Chair of the Marconi Foundation http://www.marconiusa.org/foundation/index.html , and runs a pretty serious real estate portfolio in Italy.

While perhaps not the best looking man on the planet, there's certainly nothing visually repulsive about him, in fact, he looks pretty much like your average guy.

So, let's forget about the women for a minute, who are obviously living out some pathetic age old fantasy, why's this guy DOING this? It's an embarrassment to his supposed station, and certainly his apparent intellect.

What I'd like to know, is who pitched who for the show? Did Fox go around looking for some royal who wouldn't mind the exploitation, or did this guy call up and say, "yo, can't get a date, make a pageant or something, will ya?"

I only watched the last ten minutes - the five finalists, each of whom spoke about the amazing opportunity the show was, yada, yada. Only one said that she would like to get to KNOW the prince, his likes, and dislikes, and to show him what she had to offer as a person - needless to say, she did not win. Apparently, the prince was more interested in the Barbie-girl achetype than anything else.

I keep hoping it's a joke, and in a few days we'll be reading about how the lucky "Princess for a Date" was taken back to Italy and publicly mocked for being such an idiot, with the Prince leading the way. Fox certainly deserves the bad press, as does any girl who thought participating in the contest was a self-respecting way to behave.

But then again, why be surprised? After all we've got the ED afflicted Ex-Senator Bob Dole drooling over BARELY LEGAL Britney Spears just so he can flog Pepsi, why not have a prince pick his princess out of a line up on national tv. Media continues to cater to the lowest common denominator, and it seems nothing is able to prevent it.
posted by lpeper at 8:07 AM on September 27, 2001