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Make Picard human again
September 30, 2011 2:43 AM   Subscribe

The Star Trek Quiet Book, by the author of The Jedi Quiet Book
posted by Toekneesan (35 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite

 
There's just so many levels of awesome at work here that I'm not sure what more to say.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:07 AM on September 30, 2011


What every child needs.... love it!
posted by MT at 3:12 AM on September 30, 2011


Just fantastic.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 3:25 AM on September 30, 2011


She offers some of her work on Etsy, but I can't seem to find the Quiet Books (or a kit for same).

If links to these books build momentum and go viral, it boggles the mind to think of what the originals might be priced at (or auctioned at on eBay).
posted by Gordion Knott at 3:46 AM on September 30, 2011


But... but... I don't see four lights!
posted by DreamerFi at 4:02 AM on September 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Love Picard's little red undies.
posted by bleep at 4:05 AM on September 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sorry but..meh, I'm not sure why you think anyone here would be interested in this.

Oh wait, universal translator was broken. What I meant to say was:

Want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:25 AM on September 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Combine this with "Go The F*ck To Sleep" and you'll have Data saying:

"The warp coils are not modulating correctly due to our recent passage through a tachyon field, which created a soloton wave frequency that is not conducive to your sleep cycle. May I suggest that you adjourn to Ten Forward where Guinan will concoct for you a beverage that will knock you on your muthafuckin ass?"

I resent Worf being reduced to something that looks soft and fuzzy. Even if he does have sort of a peat-y aroma. With just a touch of lilac.
posted by PapaLobo at 4:38 AM on September 30, 2011


The Jedi Quiet Book should include the words "Whatever you do, don't stand near a ledge!"
posted by 4ster at 4:47 AM on September 30, 2011



Sorry but..meh, I'm not sure why you think anyone here would be interested in this.

47 man! 47.
posted by Cerulean at 5:15 AM on September 30, 2011


This is awesome!
posted by desjardins at 5:16 AM on September 30, 2011


So this is for kids? And the phasers are set to kill? And the drones leave blood splatters? I'm not sure that works real well.

(Also their shooting drones right? Does it even make sense to "kill" drones and leave little blood splatters?)
posted by oddman at 6:18 AM on September 30, 2011


In her notes for the Jedi Quiet Book, she says: Matt got real mad cuz I put Yoda in the Death Star.... (Yoda was never in the Death Star) If there is anything the last decade-and-a-half has taught us, it is that Yoda has not yet been on the Death Star. Lucas is in his mid-sixties, and still has some revisionism left in him.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:28 AM on September 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


I wish she had a Dr. Who one! The cuteness of little felt Dr's and Daleks and Cybermen would make my brain just explodey-wodey into a wibbley little mess!
posted by piratebowling at 6:38 AM on September 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


I wish she had a Dr. Who one!

piratebowling, you just made me make a noise that I think only dogs heard.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:52 AM on September 30, 2011 [5 favorites]


Would be more awesome with a page featuring a soft, felt Dianna Troi.
posted by aught at 7:10 AM on September 30, 2011


Adorable.
posted by Gator at 7:22 AM on September 30, 2011


It's missing a page: "Send Wesley to his room."
posted by moviehawk at 7:58 AM on September 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


I liked this but this text threw me into a nerd rage

**Lord of The Rings Quiet Book 
(maybe... if I can actually get through the movies...)


WTF, read the books, are we expected to accept a LOTR quiet book without Tom Bombadil?
posted by Ad hominem at 8:20 AM on September 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


are we expected to accept a LOTR quiet book without Tom Bombadil

Only if we can accept a quiet Tom Bombadil (which I, for one, cannot).
posted by plinth at 8:26 AM on September 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


Well, we accepted a Star Trek quiet book without Tribbles.
posted by Gator at 8:28 AM on September 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Are there any TNG episodes with tribbles? I agree that her so called Star Trek quiet book is woefully incomplete.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:44 AM on September 30, 2011


This is fantastic.

Are there any TNG episodes with tribbles? I agree that her so called Star Trek quiet book is woefully incomplete.

Well, the Vulcan salute in a TNG book is a little weird. But whatever gets kids watching Trek!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:19 AM on September 30, 2011


I resent Worf being reduced to something that looks soft and fuzzy.

You're covered: Sir, I must protest; I am NOT a merry man!
 
posted by Herodios at 9:27 AM on September 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


Where's "In the Pale Moonlight?"
posted by hot_monster at 9:27 AM on September 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


No explanation of Jeffries tubes? No build a warp core with Wesley and Geordie? No Horga'hn, hell no explanation of Picard's adventures on Risa at all? No Lore or Lal? No Picard Maneuver?

I can accept all these omissions, but two things need to be in the book, Wesley's crazy sweaters and Picard's double faceplam from The Offspring.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:38 AM on September 30, 2011


Would be more awesome with a page featuring a soft, felt Dianna Troi.

I once saw a version of TNG where pretty much the whole crew felt Dianna Troi.
 
posted by Herodios at 9:40 AM on September 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
posted by munchingzombie at 10:21 AM on September 30, 2011


She does sell a pattern PDF for The Jedi Quiet Book, btw. You can purchase it here.
posted by Toekneesan at 11:37 AM on September 30, 2011


This is so awesome it actually makes me want to have kids so I can read this book with them.
posted by chemoboy at 12:19 PM on September 30, 2011


I agree, it's an outrage that this adorable little trifle hasn't included every possible element of Star Trek minutia for all of the series and movies. I was expecting Memory Alpha made out of felt.
posted by bleep at 12:24 PM on September 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


If these were to be copied and mass marketed they could make a fortune!
posted by Meatafoecure at 12:25 PM on September 30, 2011


Would be more awesome with a page featuring a soft, felt Dianna Troi.

The one issue I have with this delightful thing is the complete absence of any female characters. I need a Bev Crusher puppet!
posted by yellowbinder at 4:17 PM on September 30, 2011


Sheer genius. How come I can't think up stuff like this?
posted by puddinghead at 5:26 PM on September 30, 2011


Here is the pattern (on her Etsy page) for the Star Trek Quiet Book.
posted by apartment dweller at 5:10 AM on October 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


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