AHH NOT FLICKR, ANYTHING BUT THAT
October 6, 2011 9:23 AM   Subscribe

Going through the Nightmares Fear Factory in Niagara Falls will cause you to face your greatest fear - getting caught screaming your face off.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero (128 comments total) 111 users marked this as a favorite

 
I just can't pick a favorite!
posted by theodolite at 9:27 AM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


Going through the City of Niagara Falls will also do that to you.
posted by pracowity at 9:29 AM on October 6, 2011 [6 favorites]


This is my favorite so far, but I'm going to have to stop looking because I'm going to lose it at my desk. These pictures are the best advertising ever.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:29 AM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


Do the CongAAAHHHHH!
posted by griphus at 9:30 AM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


This one looks like a lost Jacques-Louis David painting.
posted by theodolite at 9:31 AM on October 6, 2011 [6 favorites]


This one is also really good- notice her feet aren't touching the ground!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:32 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I especially like the ones where three or four people are screaming and then there's one guy who looks absolutely delighted.
posted by theodolite at 9:33 AM on October 6, 2011 [10 favorites]


I like how everyone here is screaming but Blondie's all "Say, are those Muii jeans?"
posted by The Whelk at 9:34 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT I WANT TO KNOW
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:35 AM on October 6, 2011 [41 favorites]


We've been sharing these at work today, and there are several where a dude is not only hiding behind his girlfriend but also grabbing her breasts.
posted by lunalaguna at 9:35 AM on October 6, 2011


You have NO IDEA how much I needed this right now. Thank you from the very depths of my soul.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:37 AM on October 6, 2011


abject terror or new dance craze?
posted by The Whelk at 9:39 AM on October 6, 2011


Hold my hand, bro, pleeease hold my hand!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:40 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've got similar photos from the camera I've mounted over my bed.
posted by orme at 9:41 AM on October 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


I speak from experience - mocking Niagara Falls tourists can be great fun. This pic is easily my fave.
posted by davebush at 9:41 AM on October 6, 2011


I love the guy on the left, who not only is not scared, but actually intrigued.

Me gusta.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 9:41 AM on October 6, 2011


the British reaction to the squirrel's nuts controversy
posted by The Whelk at 9:42 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh my god it's Jazz hands!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:42 AM on October 6, 2011


jump, jump!
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 AM on October 6, 2011


Do the dude bro conga line freak out!
posted by medeine at 9:44 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT I WANT TO KNOW

"This is how much money you could have saved on your car insurance by switching to Geico!"
posted by kmz at 9:45 AM on October 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


This is amazing. I love it.

How many dudes hiding behind a significant other half their size can you spot?

And does it ever stop being completely hilarious?

Also:

At first, I was like, okay clearly this is the funniest photo not just on this page but on the internet at all.

Then I was like, no, it's not, because this is. Bunny-stepmom is all AUGH, pretty lady is all AUGH, camo pants appears to have just been awakened to some nascent and life-changing realization.

But then there was this, which is just as funny for its own reasons.

But right now my favorite - well, they're all my favorite - but definitely in my top three is this one. I mean, if I were to tell you, "I am about to show you a photo with four teenagers in it, and three of those teenagers are going to go on to be adults who regularly update Facebook with reposted updates about Jesus and/or the troops and/or how much they luv hangin with there (sic) girlz, and one of them is going to go to med school," and then I explained that you have to determine from the photo which was which - then the last thing you might expect to be shown is a picture of the four in a haunted house, but here we are.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 9:46 AM on October 6, 2011 [54 favorites]


> WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT I WANT TO KNOW

All secrets revealed by hidden camera.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 9:47 AM on October 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


Geico: You're close.

NSFWish -- ad for semi-nekkid Dirty Found magazine to right of explanatory article.

http://avoision.com/2005/10/12/nightmare_fear_factory.php
posted by user92371 at 9:48 AM on October 6, 2011


It's okay Wall, you're safe with me
posted by The Whelk at 9:48 AM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


But really, I wonder if there's been some dustups involving cameras...
posted by Horselover Phattie at 9:48 AM on October 6, 2011


I don't think the "hiding behind" or "hold my hand" jokes are fair. Viewing a lot of these, they've clearly been told to conga through the room or something, probably to keep them all in frame or in the right perspective to view the frightening object.
posted by DU at 9:48 AM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


SPOILER ALERT: What they're looking at.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:48 AM on October 6, 2011 [9 favorites]


This is amazing. I needed this today. Thank you. This is by far my favorite, or maybe this one.
posted by lilkeith07 at 9:49 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm suspecting that they're asked to go in there in the conga position.
posted by griphus at 9:49 AM on October 6, 2011


Actually my greatest fear is the bees.
posted by chrillsicka at 9:50 AM on October 6, 2011


I don't think they're asked to conga, I think the place is pitch black and groups naturally fall into that position as a way to stick together.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:51 AM on October 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


Just don't look! Just don't look!
posted by The Whelk at 9:51 AM on October 6, 2011


I think it's just really dark, they're all kind of goofy from all the startles and pokes, and then this other thing makes them jump. If you watch some videos they're only "scared" for a moment.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 9:51 AM on October 6, 2011


There is something so totally satisfying about a bunch of dudebros cuddling together and shrieking in abject pants-peeing terror for the lulz.
posted by elizardbits at 9:53 AM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Nothing impresses Becky
posted by The Whelk at 9:55 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


That's, like, five different fetishes rolled into one wilfully misinterpreted comment.
posted by griphus at 9:56 AM on October 6, 2011 [7 favorites]


Guys, they're all just yawning.
posted by GuyZero at 9:56 AM on October 6, 2011


BUCK BUCK BWCAW MICHEAL
posted by The Whelk at 9:56 AM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


They ARE pretty intimidating., and I've seen them 4 times and I probably look pretty silly losing my shit in the mosh pit...

Oh wait, this is a haunted house thing? Nevermind.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:57 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


At first you think the guy on the right is the most scared, and then you think maybe the guy in the middle is the most scared. And then you catch the eyes of the guy on the left, and you realize that he's been looking at it the longest, and it broke his mind. His look is somewhere between supplicating, begging for mercy, and the thousand-yard stare of veterans in daguerreotypes.
posted by penduluum at 9:58 AM on October 6, 2011 [13 favorites]


I like this fellow, who seems to have gone full-Godzilla.
posted by aramaic at 9:58 AM on October 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


I'm suspecting that they're asked to go in there in the conga position.
No. The conga position becomes natural after the first few spooky feet. It's pitch black inside, and sometimes things touch you. I went through Nightmares at their original Maple Leaf Village location, and I remember at one point (again, remember it's extremely dark) whispered voices repeating "Tony the Tongue, Tony the Tongue" came from all sides. Suddenly something wet (probably an employee with a damp sponge) swiped across my face. You bet I dashed for the nearest Chicken Exit. It was off-season and the place was dead (no pun intended) and the owner told me "You didn't get your money's worth" when I exited early. "Do you want me to take you through to see there's nothing to be really scared of?" Naively I thought he was going to turn the lights up and show Mom and me the "secrets" inside Nightmares. Ha! Instead he took us on an extra-long tour, occasionally stopping and murmuring, "I dont' seem to remember this place, where are we?" (probably a secret cue) and then some creature would touch us or scream at us in the dark. That was the first time in my life I ever heard Mom use the word "bastard" (as in "you bastard, get us out of here!!!")
posted by Oriole Adams at 10:01 AM on October 6, 2011 [64 favorites]


I don't think I've ever reached that level of emotional involvement in my life.
What are they looking at?
posted by Stagger Lee at 10:02 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


This would be the most perfect goddamn place to do that xkcd chess thing, oh my god.
posted by elizardbits at 10:02 AM on October 6, 2011 [17 favorites]


I don't think they're asked to conga

No one needs to be asked to conga. Quietly hum "da-da da-da da hey!" as you pass through a happy/drunken crowd. If anyone starts, everyone will start.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:03 AM on October 6, 2011 [16 favorites]


How many dudes hiding behind a significant other half their size can you spot?

To give credit where credit is due, girlfriend in the first photo is pretty ripped. But no, I don't think it ever stops being hilarious.

Every time I think I couldn't love FAMOUS MONSTER or elizardbits more, y'all go and prove me wrong. Well done.
posted by EvaDestruction at 10:05 AM on October 6, 2011


> I don't think I've ever reached that level of emotional involvement in my life.
What are they looking at?


Huh. This comment has single-handedly allowed me to understand what the appeal of scary movies/houses is.
posted by brenton at 10:07 AM on October 6, 2011 [12 favorites]


This is a brilliant idea. The fight-or-flight response in action! You can almost see the adrenaline coursing through their veins. Pretty primal reactions really. Makes me wonder about things like, Do startled/scared people scream in order to disorient an attacker, warn others in the tribe, call for help, or all of the above?
posted by bstreep at 10:09 AM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


My high school Model UN team used to go to a conference in Niagara every year (the sadly-defunct NAIMUNC), and one of the traditions of the team was a group outing to the Nightmare Factory. By my junior year every member of the team had been through the whole thing at least a couple times, and if you pay attention it's not hard to tell when this particular photo-scare is coming (it's a train or car that comes out of the wall at you, if I remember correctly). So somewhere in my parents' house are three or four different photos of my friends trying out different poses we'd planned out in advance - there's a last supper one that I recall being particularly good, in which I'm John (long hair), and a couple involving wearing funny hats into the haunted house. Good to hear the haunted house is still apparently going strong.
posted by Oxydude at 10:11 AM on October 6, 2011 [14 favorites]


Oh these are great! I wonder what is happening at the time of the photo?
posted by Theta States at 10:19 AM on October 6, 2011


Every time I think I couldn't love FAMOUS MONSTER or elizardbits more, y'all go and prove me wrong. Well done.

Oh, blush! We aim to please here at FAMOUS MONSTER.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 10:22 AM on October 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


Bob knew that morning he needed to wear that shirt, but didn't know why. A tingling sensation told him it would provide him the strength he needed that day.
posted by Big_B at 10:23 AM on October 6, 2011 [12 favorites]


I fucking love haunted houses.

My town has a haunted woods where they turn an entire park into a giant, outdoor haunted house. You'll be amazed how quiet and scary a dude on a horse can be.

I so, so want to hide in the woods in a ghillie suit.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:24 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oriole Adams, that is an awesome story. That guy really knows how to do his job.

Also, elizardbits, I too am developing a meta-crush on you. Perhaps I will apply for stalker status.
posted by blurker at 10:24 AM on October 6, 2011


hiding behind invisible girlfriend
posted by roger ackroyd at 10:25 AM on October 6, 2011


I LOVE the fact that these are now on Flickr. What a great collection!

I first heard about Nightmares from my co-worker way back in 2005. At the time, their photo gallery was down, but we were able to track down some images via the Wayback Machine (old blog post, self-link).

I'm not 100% on this, but I think what happens moments before the photo is the illusion of a car, crashing through the wall and headed straight for the people caught on camera. Not sure if this is still the same thing, or if they've changed it up.

Whatever it is... they're doing it right. Great photos!
posted by avoision at 10:27 AM on October 6, 2011


My town has a haunted woods

GODDAMNIT WHY ARE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY?
posted by The Whelk at 10:27 AM on October 6, 2011


How much of this is "OMG A MONSTER" and "OMG I'M IN THE DARK AND SOMEONE JUST HIT ME WITH A STROBE FLASH."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:28 AM on October 6, 2011


I could not love this more.
posted by odinsdream at 10:28 AM on October 6, 2011


For those wondering what is happening in the photo, while I am not 100% positive, I suspect from things I've heard from people that have been that it is a car with headlights careening out of the darkness at you. Loud horn and screeching noises I assume as well.
posted by skinnydipp at 10:29 AM on October 6, 2011


I've been to this place, it is fairly awesome. I'm just glad that the pictures don't go back too far cause I'm sure I would look like an idiot.

The best part is the old hearse parked outside with a pamphlet holder about the place. They keep a guy hidden in there who jumps out when you go to take a pamphlet. Must have watched for like 30 minutes as hapless tourists get the crap scared out of them.

The place is super dark and most of the time you are just holding onto the wall and trying to keep moving. Things come at you all of the sudden. I do remember there was always a flash of light when the scary thing happened, now I know why.
posted by dripdripdrop at 10:29 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


God, all these pictures made me jealous. I LOVE being scared like that. Such catharsis. I live too far away from Niagara and will have to find out what this year's best haunted house in Portland. Last year's haunted house pick was a dud. Somebody please scare the shit out of me this year!
posted by dchrssyr at 10:30 AM on October 6, 2011


we were able to track down some images via the Wayback Machine (old blog post, self-link)

The just married couple FTW.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:30 AM on October 6, 2011


This would be the most perfect goddamn place to do that xkcd chess thing, oh my god.

I humbly suggest a counterpoint, and this is something I would contribute to a kickstarter to make happen:

Someone needs to go through this with some people who aren't in on what he or she plans to do. Maybe they need to go through it more than once so they can figure out from context where the moment is that these photos are taken.

In the pitch-dark, they make their preparations when they realize it's coming. They calmly disengage themselves from any grasping hands.

Then the moment happens. Perhaps the flash of light is brief.

At the end of the month, somewhere among the Flickr stream is the image: Three shit-scared young people, each of their faces captured in a wide-eyed rictus of terror, cowering and grasping and hunched over; and one individual standing next to them or maybe in the middle of them, standing up perfectly straight, poised as anything, making a face as much like this one as possible and calmly blowing bubbles on a bubble pipe.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 10:30 AM on October 6, 2011


Close, but no bubble pipe.
posted by EvaDestruction at 10:35 AM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


dammit, EvaDestruction! You beat me too it. I had that one all ready to post after FAMOUS MONSTER's comment.
posted by dchrssyr at 10:38 AM on October 6, 2011


Until seeing that photo I did not realize that it would be just as funny to have three terrified people and one person duckfacing and just generally acting like the camera were a phone being held up to take a Facebook photo.

Brilliant.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 10:40 AM on October 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


Maybe that's her natural fight or flight response.
posted by Stagger Lee at 10:40 AM on October 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


Everybody, hold onto Rachael Dratch as tightly as you can!
posted by dr_dank at 10:50 AM on October 6, 2011


I am strangely satisfied, and not all disappointed, to find out what the best thing ever is.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:19 AM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Like EmpressCallipygos, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post.

I have some friends who are going through a tough time, I am sending them a link to this page in 5...4...3...2...
posted by Elly Vortex at 11:20 AM on October 6, 2011


SPOILER: apparently this is what folks are freaking out about
posted by soplerfo at 11:23 AM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


These are hilarious. Thanks. :)
posted by zarq at 11:25 AM on October 6, 2011


Hrmmm, the prevalent and instinctual posture of drawing the upper arms tightly against the rib cage when the subject perceives impending doom is most curious...
posted by de void at 11:34 AM on October 6, 2011


Alright, what is the Rachael Dratch link SUPPOSED to go to? I get a completely black screen at that link.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:37 AM on October 6, 2011


I think that's supposed to be this one.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:42 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


SPOILER: apparently this is what folks are freaking out about

Yeah, all the pictures are taken in the same spot (which looks suspiciously like a hotel lobby ...) is it just that face from soplerfo's video that is freaking people out? Really?

My favorites are the people who are not only not scared, but want to get closer. "C'mon, honey ..."
posted by mrgrimm at 11:46 AM on October 6, 2011


I feel badly for the Blues Clues guy. He's my favorite.
posted by Windigo at 11:46 AM on October 6, 2011


I love these so much.

The way people grab onto each other in a moment of terror, especially all the tangled balls of teenagers, but very most especially I love this protective young man, who actually managed to choke me up a little bit.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:48 AM on October 6, 2011 [14 favorites]


I don't scream. I'm British. British people don't scream. Only Americans and girls scream. American girls are the worst. No wait, I meant the best. I had to say that or my American girlfriend would have beaten me until I screamed.
posted by Decani at 11:52 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure most of those people are actually looking in a mirror.

"OH MY GOD IS THAT WHAT MY ASS LOOKS LIKE IN THESE SHORTS!?"
posted by loquacious at 12:06 PM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


This is awesome.

Nthing those who say it comes at a time when a good laugh was sorely needed.

Thanks, ThePinkSuperhero!
posted by lord_wolf at 12:11 PM on October 6, 2011


/thought it said Nightmares Fear Factory in Nicaragua and expected something different.
posted by Artw at 12:16 PM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Oh no. No no no. THIS ONE is the best. The girl in the middle should consider a career as a rock and roll singer.
posted by Elly Vortex at 12:20 PM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


The girl in the middle should consider a career as a rock and roll singer.

Many of these reminded me of the classic photo of Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald that's been photoshopped into a rock and roll band.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:23 PM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


Nobody hear but us leaves
posted by Foam Pants at 12:30 PM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


There are one too many hats in this picture.
posted by MrVisible at 12:46 PM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


There are one too many hats in this picture.

The ghost hat is tugging down the lad on the left's jeans. I'd be frightened too, if a ghost hat were trying to steal my jeans.
posted by cmonkey at 12:53 PM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Oh my god Power Balance bracelets work?!
posted by soplerfo at 12:53 PM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Further proof that the war on terror has been a failure.
posted by billyfleetwood at 1:03 PM on October 6, 2011 [11 favorites]


There are one too many hats in this picture.

You never heard the term "jimmy hat" before?
posted by phearlez at 1:04 PM on October 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'm going to digress for a minute into the land of image computation.

Here we have a corpus of pictures with:

1. Identical camera placement
2. Identical lighting
3. Enough variation in subjects to identify all of the background

What's missing? An automatic image process that subtracts the background from any single picture.
posted by odinsdream at 1:12 PM on October 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


HAY GURL HAAAAY
posted by sarahnade at 1:16 PM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


There are one too many hats in this picture.

You never heard the term "jimmy hat" before?


I thought it was the oft-referenced but rarely photographed asshat.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:19 PM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


It's an asshat and a jimmy hat IN THE SAME PICTURE!
posted by MsVader at 1:36 PM on October 6, 2011


This is the most amazing photoset on Flickr. :D
posted by clockworkjoe at 1:44 PM on October 6, 2011


For a few seasons, I worked in a haunted house at a local school. It was easy to scare the kids, so we did it in a way that was as fun as possible without actually trying to scare them. All bets were off when it came to adults though, and some of my best memories were moving through the secret paths to get ahead of people I'd already encountered to scare them again and again.

Towards the end you could see their nerves so frazzled that they were sure I or one of my friends was going to come out behind them in an open and empty room, and when I did just that they'd damn near scream the house down.

God I loved that.

And this whole thing reminds me of a project I've always wanted to do: I want to set up an isolation room, where participants sit in a dark, silent box, watching a screen with detailed information that they need to pay very close attention to. I was thinking that I'd set it up as a "Test Your Focus" kind of experiment with all sorts of caveats about heart conditions and the like.

As they are watching, with all of their attention on that little screen, I wanted to duplicate an explosion right in front of them by flooding the room with a blinding light and a nearly deafening white noise (the best way I could think to simulate a non-concussive explosion)

As the light came on, cameras from all angles would record the people's expressions and those would go on to be a part of an art exhibit called the "Faces of Fear" or the "Sight of Surprise" or something.

There is just something real about that open, naked look of fear and surprise that people get. And if it can be gotten in a safe environment where people are willing to be displayed, you'd end up with some amazing shots, much like these.
posted by quin at 1:54 PM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


As they are watching, with all of their attention on that little screen, I wanted to duplicate an explosion right in front of them by flooding the room with a blinding light and a nearly deafening white noise (the best way I could think to simulate a non-concussive explosion)

Add a sudden blast of compressed air.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:59 PM on October 6, 2011


My favorites, by far, are the ones in which everyone is Doing the Choo Choo Train.

Okay, I'm going to stop looking at these now. I'm going to save a set for once I get my work done.
posted by Elly Vortex at 2:17 PM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


A look of lovecraftian horror
posted by The Whelk at 2:22 PM on October 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


The three stages of fear
posted by The Whelk at 2:23 PM on October 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


HEY GURL!

YES MASTER
posted by The Whelk at 2:25 PM on October 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


So it looks like I'm going to be the lone curmudgeon here, but thanks for alerting me to a place that I'll never go. It's hard to explain, but most of these photos left a bad taste in my mouth. The ones that made me smile or laugh were the people being non-nonchalant. I think it probably goes back to unpleasant childhood memories, with most of the fourth (I think it was fourth, may have been earlier) grade being enchanted by the fact that it was easy to make me flinch if they made mock punching motions or flung a hand out in front of my face. Mocking someone for having a truly human reaction (scared by something designed to trigger a flight or fight reaction, acting on instinct to protect themselves) strikes me as rather vicious.

There's probably a deep psychological reason for feeling like this and I might just be in the wrong mood.

Anyway, sorry to piss on the parade. But I hope that most of the people featured in the photos you are linking to don't find this thread.

(I do like haunted houses and things that make me jump. I don't like people making fun of others for this, no matter the spirit intended.)
posted by Hactar at 2:28 PM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


The 'look of Lovecraftian horror' The Whelk linked to above has just made me start crying, I'm laughing so hard.

*crawls away to recover dignity*
posted by frogbit at 2:36 PM on October 6, 2011


I assume these people had to give permission for their photos to be used... were they allowed to see the photos first? I would never in a million years let my photo be shown.
posted by desjardins at 3:33 PM on October 6, 2011


I assume these people had to give permission for their photos to be used... were they allowed to see the photos first? I would never in a million years let my photo be shown.

It's no doubt buried in a sub-paragraph in the multi-page release you sign, or in tiny print on the back of your ticket.
posted by odinsdream at 3:37 PM on October 6, 2011


When I went, you did have to sign a release mostly about having a heart attack, I'm sure the picture thing was in there too.
posted by dripdripdrop at 3:41 PM on October 6, 2011


My favorites are the ones where people look like they're trying to run away already. Good fight-or-flight decision!
posted by bleep at 4:46 PM on October 6, 2011


Mocking someone for having a truly human reaction (scared by something designed to trigger a flight or fight reaction, acting on instinct to protect themselves) strikes me as rather vicious.

I can't stand that "haha you flinched" 4th grade stuff either for the same reasons. I don't think this is the same thing though. I think the flinching thing is more about showing weakness and not being able to distinguish actual threats from pretend threats. I don't think anyone in this thread would deny that they wouldn't have their own funny picture up there the first time they went through. But people make funny faces when they're scared and it's okay to laugh because we know they aren't in danger.
posted by bleep at 4:56 PM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I don't like the "two for flinching" crap, either. Any properly wired monkey tends to react to that stuff just out of a healthy sense of self preservation. I even suffer from PTSD and hate sudden loud noises or even mock aggression.

But haunted houses and horror movies and the like don't do anything for or to me. I'd probably be the guy walking through looking bored and vaguely amused, if annoyed that people keep grabbing on to him and shrieking. I guess I save my terror for things like poverty, unexploded landmines and the countless real things that are terrifying in this world.
posted by loquacious at 5:01 PM on October 6, 2011


ಠ_ಠ
posted by tumid dahlia at 6:55 PM on October 6, 2011


This is fantastic. Absolutely the best of the web.
Thanks TPS!
posted by herrdoktor at 7:04 PM on October 6, 2011


I'm not making fun of these people, I admire them. I don't do haunted houses, too scary. I'd probably pee my pants, and imagine seeing THAT on Flickr!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:23 PM on October 6, 2011


ladies first LADIES FIRST
posted by gottabefunky at 8:06 PM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


ThePinkSuperhero: "I'm not making fun of these people, I admire them. I don't do haunted houses, too scary. I'd probably pee my pants, and imagine seeing THAT on Flickr!"

On a similar vein, I would hope to hell I had made a trip to the washroom before I went into a haunted house like this one.
posted by deborah at 11:37 PM on October 6, 2011


FAMOUS MONSTER: " How many dudes hiding behind a significant other half their size can you spot?"

The girl goes first because in these cases she's shorter and they want to hold onto each other, so her going 2nd wouldn't really work out too well. And yeah, the conga line forms in all of them. It's DARK and it's the only way to stay together.

Oriole Adams: "Suddenly something wet (probably an employee with a damp sponge) swiped across my face."

That would be fan-damn-tastic. We have a haunted asylum here and they openly tell you on the website and in the intro rules that no one is allowed to touch you. And once you know nothing can touch you, it's really hard to be scared.
posted by IndigoRain at 12:50 AM on October 7, 2011


And once you know nothing can touch you, it's really hard to be scared.

With this thought in mind, that nothing could touch me, I was convinced to ride a dark ride at a small boardwalk amusement park during our beach vacation this year. Looking back, what I thought was chivalry on the part of the young man ("Ladies first...") as we boarded the ride, I now realize is to ensure that the woman is sitting in the half of the seat where something touches you. As the car turns the corner into a new room, something long, wet (and mechanical) slithered across my shoulder and I FREAKED.OUT. Of course that's when the camera catches you too.

So there's a photo of us, my husband looking vaguely bemused by the cheesy "scary" scenes, and me, sheer terror in my eyes, mouth wide open in a scream, as I'm physically trying to curl into him for safety. It's such a hilarious photo, we bought the keychain.
posted by librarianamy at 8:09 AM on October 7, 2011


Mocking someone for having a truly human reaction (scared by something designed to trigger a flight or fight reaction, acting on instinct to protect themselves) strikes me as rather vicious.

These photos are prominently displayed in the marketing of the haunted house, before you decide whether you go in. They tell you that you're going to be terrified. They give you a safe word so you can leave at any time. These people intentionally put themselves through this experience for the express purpose of having a photograph taken of themselves while they are completely terrified.

I am not seeing the viciousness here. They did this on purpose and presumably enjoyed the experience over all.
posted by empath at 9:13 AM on October 7, 2011


We have a haunted asylum here and they openly tell you on the website and in the intro rules that no one is allowed to touch you.

They have to not touch you, and I really love and appreciate the lengths the good houses go to scare the bejesus out of you and stay under this restriction.

Two good anecdotes from good experiences:

* They had a closet with a sliding door, with a mirror facing outward. Inside the closet were a mannequin and a guy dressed exactly like the mannequin. He could slide the door open and closed, revealing the mannequin. When you were sure it was just a mannequin, that's when the dude would slowly raise an arm to your face.

* In the haunted woods, from far away, you could hear the sound of a chainsaw and screams echoing through the woods. There was a shack that was a take-off on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Upon leaving the shack and scenes of cannibalism, the dude with the chainsaw (chain removed, but engine fully functional), was waiting behind a huge tree. He waited for you to pass, then fired up the chainsaw with one pull ("VHRAAAAAAA!!!") and chased you with it.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:49 AM on October 7, 2011


Aaaaand we have a new winner for best photo ever!
posted by MustardTent at 10:52 AM on October 7, 2011


Aaaaand we have a new winner for best photo ever!

Dancing with myse-he-helf...
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:48 AM on October 7, 2011


Okay guys. I've looked at them all. They are all awesome.
posted by odinsdream at 5:23 PM on October 10, 2011


Best one.
posted by ocherdraco at 12:50 AM on October 12, 2011


Something Awful has a go at them.
posted by Theta States at 4:49 PM on October 12, 2011


my favourite. also.
posted by Theta States at 4:52 PM on October 12, 2011


Something Awful has a go at them.

the kitty petting is the only good one so far.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:20 AM on October 13, 2011 [3 favorites]


OK, this one is officially my favorite. Her friends might be losing their shit, but the girl in the middle still hasn't lost her metal.
posted by phunniemee at 6:09 AM on October 25, 2011


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