This Year’s Hot TV Trend Is Anatomically Correct

October 19, 2011 2:23 PM

There has been a noticeable uptick in the use of the word "vagina" in network TV shows, reports the NY Times.
posted by reenum (131 comments total)

I understand the word itself makes some men uncomfortable. They don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say, whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:27 PM on October 19, 2011 [48 favorites]

I'm going to speculate that when the writers can't come up with anything actually funny to write, someone says "Well, we can always say vagina. That will make people giggle. We can say 'vagina' now, can't we?"
posted by benito.strauss at 2:27 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Not anatomically correct at all—they're almost always referring to vulvas rather than vaginas.
posted by asperity at 2:29 PM on October 19, 2011 [47 favorites]

'Snatching' victory from the jaws of defeat, so to speak.

I'll get my coat.
posted by unSane at 2:30 PM on October 19, 2011 [16 favorites]

"whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson."

I just saw it for the first time a month ago...and just recently saw it for the millionth time. Great movie.

I decided not to waste my NY times link on this article. I pretty much know what these hacks are gonna say.
posted by hal_c_on at 2:31 PM on October 19, 2011

If everybody calls a vulva a vagina, doesn't that mean vagina actually can mean vulva?
posted by Threeway Handshake at 2:32 PM on October 19, 2011 [7 favorites]

Hey look, mediocrity learned a new word.
posted by basicchannel at 2:34 PM on October 19, 2011 [7 favorites]

I cunt believe it.
posted by Winnemac at 2:34 PM on October 19, 2011 [17 favorites]

You know, they claim a trend, but half their evidence seems to come from Whitney, so this is going to look a lot sillier when Whitney is canceled and we all forget it ever happened.

That is what's going to happen right?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:38 PM on October 19, 2011 [6 favorites]

In other news, there was a sharp increase of the use of the word 'vagina' and euphemisms for same in the New York Times today.
posted by empath at 2:38 PM on October 19, 2011

What a bunch of *'s
posted by not_on_display at 2:39 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

gets popcorn... locks keyboard..settles in...
posted by HuronBob at 2:40 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

If everybody calls a vulva a vagina, doesn't that mean vagina actually can mean vulva?

Science is sadly very prescriptivist.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:41 PM on October 19, 2011 [16 favorites]

I understand the word itself makes some men uncomfortable. They don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say, whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.

But do they talk about their "penises"? I would imagine any dude who is discomforted by 'vagina' would also be discomforted by 'penis' or something. There aren't as many euphemisms for Vagina though. Pussy. Cooter. Muff. Fanny (if you're British)
posted by delmoi at 2:42 PM on October 19, 2011

Twat will they think of next?
posted by Larry Duke at 2:42 PM on October 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

Hello. Nein dizbatcher says zere iss problem mit deine kable.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 2:43 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

If everybody calls a vulva a vagina, doesn't that mean vagina actually can mean vulva?

Well, it's kind of an unintentional synechdoche, so yes in the same way that one definition of "wheels" is "slang term for car", one definition of "vagina" is now "slang term for vulva." (I know that the vulva technically excludes the vagina, but it does include the vaginal opening, which is close enough for this synechdoche-lover).

Honestly I think most people don't really understand vulvas, or want to turn it into "the opposite of a penis aka the internal bits" and ignore everything else that's goin' on down there. Which is pretty sad, because vulvas are awesome.
posted by muddgirl at 2:45 PM on October 19, 2011 [7 favorites]

delmoi said the c word.
posted by Sailormom at 2:46 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Hello. Nein dizbatcher says zere iss problem mit deine kable.

That is the worst german accent I have ever heard. Are you talking through your vagina?

**cue laugh track**
posted by found missing at 2:46 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

“You know what else it shows off?” says Tessa. “Your vagina.”

Not unless you have an endoscope or a speculum.
posted by atrazine at 2:48 PM on October 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

Emily Kapnek, the creator of “Suburgatory,” noted that it would be difficult to challenge a woman’s using clinical words for female parts of the body.

“How could anyone take issue?” she asked. “It’s not like vagina should be perceived as a dirty word.”

“I think we’re in lot of trouble if we censor clinical terms,” Professor Jay said. “There’s nowhere to go then.”

Yes, indeed, how could anyone take issue with using the wrong word? Let's not censor clinical terms, or use the right ones, cause then we'd really have no where to go.


Although in reality I kind of feel like "vagina" is the vernacular word so it makes sense for a vernacular-based tv show.
posted by bleep at 2:48 PM on October 19, 2011

Anyone else use "Hoonanner" or heard of it?
posted by Renoroc at 2:48 PM on October 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

So, judging by this thread, the reason is that people find the word 'vagina' makes them uncomfortable so they use it for humorous effect.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:48 PM on October 19, 2011

Yeah, I'm bookmarking this thread for the next time MeFites start getting all puffed up about how superior this place is to Reddit.
posted by Gator at 2:49 PM on October 19, 2011 [11 favorites]

Does anyone actually watch sitcoms anymore?
posted by KokuRyu at 2:50 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

There has been a noticeable uptick in the use of the word "vagina" in network TV shows, reports the NY Times.

I was hoping it would be more obvious:

America's Next Top Vagina
Are You Smarter Than A Vagina?
Law and Order: Special Vagina Unit
$#*! My Vagina Says
The Big Vagina Theory
How I Met Your Mother
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:52 PM on October 19, 2011 [38 favorites]

In related news, there's also been a noticeable uptick in monologues in network TV shows.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:52 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Seinfeld knew it was called a vulva.
posted by The Potate at 2:54 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Does the female form make you uncomfortable?
posted by Madamina at 2:54 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Does anyone actually watch sitcoms anymore?

Of course they do, I watch Community for its zany pop culture reference laden vagina jokes.

America's Next Top Vagina

I would watch every second of this.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:54 PM on October 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

...the same way that one definition of "wheels" is "slang term for car"...

My wheels should have a car on them? That explains why my commute takes so damn long.
posted by Splunge at 2:54 PM on October 19, 2011

Several of those are... intriguing, rb.

Though personally, I want Law and Order: Special Snowflake Unit.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 2:55 PM on October 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

HEY HAS ANYONE IN HERE SEEN THE BIG LEBOWSKI BECAUSE THERE'S A SCENE THAT I FIND RELEVANT
posted by shakespeherian at 2:55 PM on October 19, 2011 [12 favorites]

Dentifrice, vagina, and sour fucking grapes.
posted by lekvar at 2:56 PM on October 19, 2011

Pretty much everyone I know under the age of 30 uses either "vagina" or "vag" (pronounced "vaj"). If a friend of mine referred to her "pussy", I think I'd respond in much the same way as I would upon hearing my Mum use the word "bitchin'" to mean anything other than complaining, or when my dad says "chicky-babes"*, i.e. with disbelief shortly followed by derision.

* He really does.
posted by doublehappy at 2:58 PM on October 19, 2011

Thank Christ. You mean people are saying the real word for a real thing?

"Vajayjay" poisoned my ear canals across network television throughout 2008 or so. The only thing that stopped "frak" from being the word that made me want to slap people.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 2:59 PM on October 19, 2011 [6 favorites]

Anyone else use "Hoonanner" or heard of it?

I initially read that as "Hoonhammer" and was afraid.
posted by yeloson at 2:59 PM on October 19, 2011

Vagina vagina vagina vagina!

Pretty much everyone I know under the age of 30 uses either "vagina" or "vag" (pronounced "vaj"). If a friend of mine referred to her "pussy", I think I'd respond in much the same way as I would upon hearing my Mum use the word "bitchin'" to mean anything other than complaining, or when my dad says "chicky-babes"*, i.e. with disbelief shortly followed by derision.

Oh yes, I cannot stand the word pussy. It sounds really weird to me. Shudder. I can't imagine anyone IRL saying it casually or during sex. My dad also said "chicky-babes" not too long ago! Maybe you're my brother and I don't know.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 3:00 PM on October 19, 2011

“How could anyone take issue?” she asked. “It’s not like vagina should be perceived as a dirty word.”

Unfortunately, the editor then realized there was 500 words of blank space left just right there on page C-1 and realized something had to be done.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 3:01 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

It's enjoyable to see the NY Times probing this story.
posted by quadog at 3:01 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Pussy is a totally bitchin' word.
posted by adamdschneider at 3:09 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

Well, as Patton Oswalt pointed out, while technically acceptable, it'd be a lot creepier to say something like, "I'm going to fill your hoo-ha with goof juice!"
posted by cmoj at 3:09 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

Hey look, an NYT trend piece without any numbers to indicate the trend!
posted by vidur at 3:09 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

No numbers yet, but there has been a noticeable uptick in the use of the word "vagina" in MetaFilter very recently.
posted by mazola at 3:14 PM on October 19, 2011

as I would upon hearing my Mum use the word "bitchin'" to mean anything other than complaining

This needs to come back. I am bringing this back.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:15 PM on October 19, 2011

More shows about vaginas:

Vagina Idol
Vagina's Got Talent
Dancing with the Stars' Vaginas
CSI: Vagina
Jersey Shore
posted by unSane at 3:16 PM on October 19, 2011 [11 favorites]

There are so few good slang words for female genitalia. Things like "cunt" and "pussy" are tainted by being primarily used as insults, and almost every other option sounds like you're a 15 year old boy who hasn't kissed a girl yet. Box? Gash? Muff? Vajayjay?

My penis euphemism of choice is "wang", and the only thing that comes even close for silly charm is "ladygarden" and that's still not quite right.
posted by jess at 3:16 PM on October 19, 2011

How about "kitty"? (The only problem is that pretty soon we won't have any word we can use to refer to cats.)
posted by Crabby Appleton at 3:19 PM on October 19, 2011

(The only problem is that pretty soon we won't have any word we can use to refer to cats.)

Exactly. Here in Canada we now get kind of sheepish when referring to our national animal, the majestic beaver.
posted by jess at 3:20 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

Who gives a shit what words someone uses? They're just words; not arcane spells! If you really need to scratch that obsessive compulsion to over-analyze what people are saying, I'd suggest spending more time worrying about their intent.

Oh, and "seafood shawarma" is a personal favourite. (Keep in mind, one of my main hobbies is "giggling at stupid shit.")
posted by Dark Messiah at 3:23 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Centipedes
posted by Horselover Phattie at 3:23 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Exactly. Here in Canada we now get kind of sheepish when referring to our national animal, the majestic beaver.

'That's a nice beaver....'

"Thanks, I just had it stuffed."

I miss Leslie Nielson
posted by Dark Messiah at 3:24 PM on October 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

Seinfeld knew it was called a vulva.

Arrested Development knew as well.
posted by buriednexttoyou at 3:25 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hairy axe wound? That's pretty badass, like you could take a blow to the crotch with a Sharp instrument and keep on going.

Still bleeds occasionally, though.
posted by backseatpilot at 3:27 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I find the casual use of "vagina" to really mean vulva particularly bothersome, considering a friend of mine is an ER doc who tells stories. Once in a while, when I hear someone say "I can see $person's vagina" I think of his stories about women in the ER with prolapsed vaginas.
posted by chimaera at 3:27 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

Who gives a shit what words someone uses?

Anyone who cares about maintaining language as a way to express oneself with clarity and precision does.

Also, I'm personally offended that when as sufficiently large group of idiots and illiterates misuses a word for long enough, it somehow magically becomes accepted usage. That's evil, in my book.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 3:27 PM on October 19, 2011 [6 favorites]

Bad news about Whitney--it was picked up for a full season.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 3:29 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

That's evil, in my book.

Too bad your book is full of words we don't understand.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:32 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I always get uvula and vulva mixed up. And trust me, those are two body parts you don't want to get confused with each other.
posted by tommasz at 3:32 PM on October 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

At least Betty White is above this.
posted by mazola at 3:33 PM on October 19, 2011

Nothing a little UV exposure won't sort out.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:33 PM on October 19, 2011

I think comedy is moving back to the "ladies night out" comedy of the 80s, which makes female comedians who don't write lots of jokes about vaginas get sidelined. This seems to come up on WTF whenever there's a female guest.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:37 PM on October 19, 2011

More shows:

Battlevagina Galactica
Buffy: The Vagina Slayer
America's Funniest Home Vaginas
The Vagina Zone
Space Vagina Yamato
The Vagina Hillbillies
VAGiNAs (Vermont Aggressive... ah, fuck it)
The Outer Vagina (Do not adjust your genitals. We will control the clitoris. We will control the labia majora.)
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:38 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

You know, if I had to choose between:

1. The Vagina Hillbillies

or

2. The Beverly Vaginas

I would choose #2

This is NOT an exact science.
posted by HuronBob at 3:44 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

There are so few good slang words for female genitalia. Things like "cunt" and "pussy" are tainted by being primarily used as insults, and almost every other option sounds like you're a 15 year old boy who hasn't kissed a girl yet. Box? Gash? Muff? Vajayjay?

My penis euphemism of choice is "wang", and the only thing that comes even close for silly charm is "ladygarden" and that's still not quite right.
posted by jess at 6:16 PM on October 19 [+] [!]


How about "kitty"? (The only problem is that pretty soon we won't have any word we can use to refer to cats.)
posted by Crabby Appleton at 6:19 PM on October 19 [+] [!]


Um, Bunny?
De La Soul used to say "Buddy".
Is "cooch" as unpleasant as "pussy" (which I really dislike)?
And of course, I assume "ladygarden" refers to this here.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:47 PM on October 19, 2011

Time to boot up The Vagina Polylogues.
posted by localroger at 3:48 PM on October 19, 2011

I go for silly and quaint and call it my undercarriage.
posted by Specklet at 4:04 PM on October 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

I thought the word "uptick" was the new slang term for vagina?
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 4:09 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised no one has quoted this yet:

Ms. Meriwether has learned, though, that penis jokes do have a limit. In an episode of “New Girl,” the lead character, played by Zooey Deschanel, sees one of the male characters naked. In describing the scene, the network placed a limit on how many times the word penis could be used.

which does not go with this:

“How could anyone take issue?” she asked. “It’s not like vagina should be perceived as a dirty word.”
“I think we’re in lot of trouble if we censor clinical terms,” Professor Jay said. “There’s nowhere to go then.”

So...Vagina is clinical and not dirty and should not be censored but there is a double standard for Penis?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:15 PM on October 19, 2011

Maybe the penis was dirty?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:25 PM on October 19, 2011

"When I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to another radio station as we Broadcaster's sometimes do... what I heard shocked and saddened me... I heard a broadcaster, who will go unnamed, use the word penis on the air. At 9 in the morning not just once but twice he said... that word... twice. Now as a Broadcaster, freedom of speech is my bread and butter but I'm also a big fan of a little thing called decency - the meat in the broadcasting sandwich. I am personally outraged by the shock tactics our competitors are using in pursuit of the all mighty ratings. Freedom of speech is one thing... the word "Penis" is another. I'm Bill McNeal with the McNeal perspective..."
posted by weinbot at 4:27 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

Have we had the "it's a VULVA!" [120 favorites + yaaaaaay!] correction yet?

The new Godwin's Law.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 4:39 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Since you're the first person to type "it's a VULVA!... yaaaaaay!" umm, I guess yes?

But seriously, the title of this post contains the words "anatomically correct," and yet strictly isn't. Should we not discuss that? Maybe we should just keep talking about dicks (or as I call them, "scrotums").
posted by muddgirl at 4:50 PM on October 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

Have we had the "it's a VULVA!" [120 favorites + yaaaaaay!] correction yet?

It's a Volvo! yaaaaaaay!
really. A white Volvo. I can't find it, but I'm sure I parked down this aisle.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:50 PM on October 19, 2011

I always get uvula and vulva mixed up. And trust me, those are two body parts you don't want to get confused with each other.

When I was younger, I used to like saying "Hey, nice uvula." to the ladies. I got a shocked face about 50% of the time.
posted by sharpener at 4:59 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Heh, and I don't mean that someone tased my face for saying it (stupid sexy grammar).
posted by sharpener at 5:00 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is my shocked vulva face!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:05 PM on October 19, 2011

damnit. vulva face.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:06 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I like Linda_Holmes's theory that this is a new Rae Dawn Chong Challenge.
posted by donajo at 5:13 PM on October 19, 2011

Upticks? In my ...
posted by zippy at 5:13 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

So...Vagina is clinical and not dirty and should not be censored but there is a double standard for Penis?

Let's go for quaint and silly again and say "gentleman's agreements".
posted by Specklet at 5:21 PM on October 19, 2011

I'm with Sarah Haskins: Sarlacc.
posted by wobh at 5:21 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Thanks to this thread, I've had the following Doug Anthony All Stars song in my head all morning.

If I asked all the women of the world what it was to be a lesbian,
they would be silent, oh mother.
And yet, if I was to ask all the men (men is the derivative of womyn) in the
world what it was to be a lesbian, they would talk their small dark and vicious minds for an eternity.
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
Virile vulvic pole vaulter, creamy contorted control tower
penetrating the big fluffy clouds of all womyn.
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
Ramrod frothing spring roll, dipping, dunking, drooping,
into the soy-sauce bowl of all sisters, to gain that sweet and sour pork
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
Siamese-eyed invader. Cake decorater, squidging, squirting, splodging,
the cheap white carbohydrates upon the womyns lemon-meringue sponge
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
I reject thee, I reject thee, I reject thee...thrice
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
[Feculent fist thrust cruely inside the mother-earth, glove puppet.
Frontend-loader, mining, scraping, painting, defiling,
filling the unwilling velvet goldmine, with splodges and wet wads of baby gravy
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
Loathing laden ladle lavishing lumps of creamy, airy white sauce upon the womyn's chicken maryland hairyland.
Oh male, you wish to fuck this body, you wish to fuck...it..now?
Well thou shalt not, thou shalt not, thou shalt not...thrice
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
Furious frown invading the loving understanding vertical smile of all womyn
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
Single headed dog, pissing on the fallopian tree
Oh man, oh male, oh sapien, oh cock
Pink and purple pajero family wagon, driving around in the vulva cul-de-sac
You total sexist bastard get out of our lives
posted by Wantok at 5:26 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

I think that was our prom theme song.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:29 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

{i}
posted by Senor Cardgage at 5:32 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also, I'm personally offended that when as sufficiently large group of idiots and illiterates misuses a word for long enough, it somehow magically becomes accepted usage. That's evil, in my book.

So basically every word in the English language, including the borrowed words vagina and vulva?
posted by Threeway Handshake at 5:37 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Look up the word "misuse" in the dictionary. You sapien, you.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 5:40 PM on October 19, 2011

Horace Rumpole: "They don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say, whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson."

In 1992, one college professor set out, and did a proper academic analysis of every slang term for the penis that he could find amongst students on his campus, which was later reviewed and published. They eventually came up with 144 separate names (impressive considering that this was before the internet).

_{There are times when I'm so damn proud of my alma mater.}
posted by schmod at 6:02 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

We seem to have some really different TV habits, my night is mostly:
Star Trek (The original Vagina)
Star Trek: The Next Vagina
Star Trek: Deep Space Vagina
Star Trek: Vaginager
VaginaPrise

And maybe a few regulars, like The Daily Vagina with Jon Stewart, the Colbert Vagina (Robert Ludlum needs to write this.) and maybe some Ghost Vaginas, or VaginaBusters on Sci-fy and Discovery, or maybe some reruns of an anime or two, like Cowboy Vagina or Vagina in the Shell. Don't even get me started on my addiction to Matt Groening's "Vaginarama".

I guess this is what happens when you rely mostly on NetVagina's streaming service.
posted by mrgoat at 6:05 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I still think Community Vagina is superior to Big Vagina Theory.
posted by bleep at 6:17 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Desperate Vaginas
The Real Vaginas of Orange County
Vagina Swap

and some movie remakes in the works

Bury My Vagina at Wounded Knee
12 Angry Vaginas
Little Big Vagina

and so on
posted by unSane at 6:18 PM on October 19, 2011

CSI: Vagina

Zoom and enhance!
posted by modernnomad at 6:24 PM on October 19, 2011

Worst euphemism I ever encountered (in a work of self-published erotic romance, yes) was "moistening yumbox." It nearly ruined sex for me forever.
posted by KathrynT at 6:28 PM on October 19, 2011 [6 favorites]

Well, if we're talking movies, there's
Vaginaception
The Dark Vagina
Scott Pilgrim vs. the Vagina
Snatch
The Vagina Wears Prada
Mean Vaginas
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Vaginas
The whole "Pirates of the Vaginas" series with Johnny Depp

At least this hasn't rolled into video games too much.
Team Vagina 2
Deus Ex: Vagina revolution
Sid Meier's Civilization V
Minevagina
Red Vagina Redemption
Left 4 Vagina (and the sequel)
Vagina's Creed: Sisterhood
Portal
posted by mrgoat at 6:30 PM on October 19, 2011

wobh: I'm with Sarah Haskins: Sarlacc.

Relevant: For those who haven't seen it yet. It's never the wrong time to link to a Target: Women episode...
posted by Zephyrial at 6:36 PM on October 19, 2011

moistening yumbox

It helps if you say it in the voice of that salesman character Johnny Carson used to do.
posted by cmoj at 6:39 PM on October 19, 2011

The worst euphemism, at least for the single guy I was then, was "momma." NOT the way I wanted to think about that particular transaction.

I feel like a discussion of gential euphemisms should be hi up on the list of "things to talk about before we get naked" for a new couple. No one wants to be taken out of the mood by hearing something like "moistening yumbox." (Jesus.)
posted by maxwelton at 7:12 PM on October 19, 2011

So does this have anything to do with the rise of The Vagina Monologues, y'think?
posted by limeonaire at 7:46 PM on October 19, 2011

HEY HAS ANYONE IN HERE SEEN THE BIG LEBOWSKI BECAUSE THERE'S A SCENE THAT I FIND RELEVANT

Uhhhh, you mean "vagina"?
posted by kirkaracha at 7:46 PM on October 19, 2011

This sounds like a joke, but I love the word 'uptick.'
posted by rough at 7:51 PM on October 19, 2011

"That vagina really pulled the room together"

other famous movie quotes"

"This is the beginning of a beautiful vagina"
"I am your vagina"
"Luke. Feel the vagina"
"I've seen vaginas you people wouldn't believe..."
"You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off"
posted by unSane at 7:55 PM on October 19, 2011

Dukes of Hazzard had a character named Cooter, for goodness sake. I just don't see modern tv surpassing that high standard.
posted by jewzilla at 8:57 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

My penis euphemism of choice is "wang"

I prefer "The mighty Saturn Five"
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:04 PM on October 19, 2011

Rockets separate, though. I guess that can represent detumescence.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 9:08 PM on October 19, 2011

Rockets take you new places that few travel to.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:14 PM on October 19, 2011

Rockets take you new places that few travel to.

Sometimes they fail on the launch pad.
posted by maxwelton at 10:08 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

"You know, they claim a trend, but half their evidence seems to come from Whitney, so this is going to look a lot sillier when Whitney is canceled and we all forget it ever happened.

That is what's going to happen right?"

From your mouth to God's vagina.
posted by klangklangston at 12:27 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sometimes they fail on the launch pad.

Not The Mighty Saturn Five!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:54 AM on October 20, 2011

The clitoral hood doesn't get mentioned enough on prime time TV.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:02 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Call me when ABC airs its groundbreaking Modern Family "taint" episode.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:37 AM on October 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

There aren't as many euphemisms for Vagina though. Pussy. Cooter. Muff. Fanny (if you're British)

The High Temple.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:02 AM on October 20, 2011

Is this a good place to mention this commercial?
posted by kinnakeet at 7:13 AM on October 20, 2011

Exactly. Here in Canada we now get kind of sheepish when referring to our national animal, the majestic beaver.

Indeed. Last year, after nearly a century of publication, a monthly magazine on Canadian history changed its name from The Beaver to Canada's History. The original publishers in 1920 could not have foreseen spam filters playing havoc with their online readers. In fact, in 1920, everything in the previous sentence between "foreseen" and "readers" would have been perplexing.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:24 AM on October 20, 2011

Rockets take you new places that few travel to.

Sometimes they fail on the launch pad.
posted by maxwelton at 1:08 AM on October 20 [+] [!]

And when they explode only seconds after getting up, it feels as though the entire country is watching, and is disappointed, and no one quite knows what to say.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:30 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

I prefer the classics:
I Dream of Vagina
My Favorite Vagina
I Love Vagina
My Three Vaginas
Gilligan's Vagina
The Six Million Dollar Vagina
All in the Vagina
posted by happyroach at 7:31 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

muddgirl wrote: Which is pretty sad, because vuvuzelas are awesome.

I have a bone to pick with you.
posted by wierdo at 7:40 AM on October 20, 2011

Another bullshit New York Times "trends" article that solely uses anecdotal evidence. Where's the analysis of a script corpus? Or a closed-captioning corpus? Or even "we had interns watch every episode of every show broadcast in the last ten years and counted all the body-part references"?

This from the same New York Times that wouldn't let me use the word "crotchfruit" in a glossary of "buzzwords of the year" for 2005. I'd rather that they make new strides in doing proper analysis of data to prove -- and disprove -- trend theories than they make new strides in loosening their pursed editorial sphincters.
posted by Mo Nickels at 7:51 AM on October 20, 2011

There aren't as many euphemisms for Vagina though.

Yes, there is definite imbalance there. In English, you really have three general routes to take: the clinical, the offensive, or the cutesy. Other languages do not necessarily suffer this deficiency. My understanding of Russian is middling at best, but so far as I can discern, пизда (pizda) seems to be a fairly neutral term for the parts -- not the kind of thing you would say to a priest or a classroom of pre-schoolers, but still only moderately impolite, with maybe the same weight of profanity as saying "ass" in English. We need something like that in this language. And with all due respect to Mo Nickels, "crotchfruit" doesn't quite cut it.

Note that as I say, my Russian is not great, so if somebody wants to correct my usage of пизда, I would be grateful for the lesson.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:54 AM on October 20, 2011

Dukes of Hazzard had a character named Cooter, for goodness sake. I just don't see modern tv surpassing that high standard.

That's for sure. We're not likely to see the nomenclassicture of B.J. and the Bear ever again.

We seem to have some really different TV habits, my night is mostly:

My nights are usually Property Vaginas or Monday Vagina Football or a hockey game or something. If an old This Old Vagina rerun is on, I'll prolly tivo it. That Norm Abrams really knows his way around the woodshop.
posted by Dano St at 7:55 AM on October 20, 2011

oops, <em> that first line
posted by Dano St at 7:56 AM on October 20, 2011

I understand the word itself makes some men uncomfortable. They don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say, whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.

Do you really understand that or are you just echoing some misandry you've picked up somewhere? Myself, I don't recall any man ever expressing specific discomfort at the word. I met men uncomfortable talking about sex generally. And I've met men uncomfortable around women generally. But not once can I recall those men also being brash enough to be loud about their own genitalia.

For that matter, I don't know any guys who use the terms 'rod' or 'Johnson' in any way except jokingly. 'Dick', sure, but again those guys aren't put off by 'pussy'.

The types of men you mention are around in our cultural narrative, of course. I can picture Old Southern Gentlemen-type embodying those characteristics. Maybe Bitterly Awkward Teen Boy. Not sure how "real" those tropes are though.

Do you (Horace or any of the many mefites who favorited that comment) know actual people like that? Uncomfortable about pussy yet pushy about their cock?
posted by Dano St at 8:26 AM on October 20, 2011

It's a line from an extremely famous movie that's referenced constantly around here.
posted by cmoj at 8:29 AM on October 20, 2011

Let's not forget

VaginaBusters
Who wants to be a Vagina?
Vagina, 1999
Buck Rogers in the 25th Vagina
Sex and the City
posted by unSane at 8:29 AM on October 20, 2011

Ah, so 'tis fiction then. Thank you.
posted by Dano St at 8:30 AM on October 20, 2011

I initially read that as "Hoonhammer" and was afraid.

The hoonhammer is my penis.
posted by RobotHero at 8:50 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Rockets take you new places that few travel to.

Sometimes they fail on the launch pad.
posted by maxwelton at 1:08 AM on October 20 [+] [!]

And when they explode only seconds after getting up, it feels as though the entire country is watching, and is disappointed, and no one quite knows what to say.

The failure to launch happens to every man, or at least that's what I tell them so they'll feel better about it.

That, um, "early" explosion can be the first of many explosions, some with a longer burn time, if you know how to handle the situation delicately. When that happens, worrying about what to say is replaced by judging how loud your screams of excitement get before your neighbors start to complain.
posted by doyouknowwhoIam? at 9:22 AM on October 20, 2011

"Do you really understand that or are you just echoing some misandry you've picked up somewhere? Myself, I don't recall any man ever expressing specific discomfort at the word."

Yeah! This aggression will not stand, man!
posted by klangklangston at 12:22 PM on October 20, 2011

You're out of your aliment, Donny.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:28 PM on October 20, 2011

Obviously Dano St is not a golfer.

I think delmoi is not a golfer, either... but that was a long time ago thread-wise.

(Seriously, no one calls their dick a "Johnson" anymore. That's a big hint that we're being fatuous.)
posted by muddgirl at 2:17 PM on October 20, 2011

I heard they've been trying to use the word "vagina" more for years. It finally went through when the board members rotated.
posted by schlichtm at 11:24 PM on October 20, 2011

It finally went through when the board members rotated.

And how.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:55 PM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]