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October 26, 2011 6:21 AM   Subscribe

The Mother of All Hot Wheels Tracks (SLYT)
posted by plinth (59 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
James May would fucking love that.
posted by salmacis at 6:27 AM on October 26, 2011


This is a great way to keep the kids' minds off the fact that mommy's gone and took all the furniture.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:27 AM on October 26, 2011 [13 favorites]


salmacis: Whoa, whoa, now. Slow down there.
posted by cthuljew at 6:30 AM on October 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


My fingers used to get numb after jamming together a little oval track, I can't image doing 2000 feet of that plastic track. I also wonder how many times they had to do it with the car jumping over the hot tub and landing on its roof.
posted by lilkeith07 at 6:31 AM on October 26, 2011


Yeah, first thing I thought of was the Scalectrix track James May built.

Second thing: I'd never seen those Hot Wheels power booster things. I want them!
posted by Fortran at 6:33 AM on October 26, 2011


That must have cost a stack for the batteries in the boosters.
posted by episodic at 6:35 AM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


I want to know how they kept the toddler from running after the car.
posted by anastasiav at 6:38 AM on October 26, 2011


I want to know how why they kept the toddler from running after the car.
posted by jontyjago at 6:41 AM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


I thought the same thing. My kids would've destroyed that track before I had 4 parts put together.
posted by Blake at 6:42 AM on October 26, 2011


I was hoping it would go outside. Then once it got outside I started wondering how long hundreds of feet of track would last on the sidewalks in my neighborhood.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:43 AM on October 26, 2011


Pretty sweet.
Though, my inner cynic is telling me that, at the very least, the outdoor run was really just short runs set-up on location for the static shot, and the run wasn't actually continuous.

However, my inner kid really wants to believe...
posted by Thorzdad at 6:45 AM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Not to dismiss how impressive this is at all or poop on this family's attempt to draw attention to their charity of choice or anything, but after years of links to single-shot music videos and car ads, etc. of giant set pieces the fact that there's no pan or picture of the complete track and a bunch of cut shots that clearly required multiple takes to angle correctly sort of gives pause to the idea that this really was a complete, 2,000 foot track. Yes, I'm being that guy.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:46 AM on October 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


You only see 6 boosters at the same time. WAKE UP SHEEPLE! Also, there's a convenient cut in the video at the point where it "jumps" the hot tub.
posted by brokkr at 6:46 AM on October 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


Cynic trifecta!
posted by brokkr at 6:47 AM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


My inner kid says:
-- Where'd you get all the boosters? Nobody can afford that many boosters!
-- C'mon, put another car on the track, man.
-- Mom's gonna make us take it down before dinner.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:48 AM on October 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


Yeah, you just need to look closely about 2:03 to see that the track ends down the sidewalk. Definitely just made one-shot at a time.
posted by FreezBoy at 6:51 AM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Where'd you get all the boosters? Nobody can afford that many boosters!

They reused the same ones over and over again.
posted by empath at 6:52 AM on October 26, 2011


I'm obviously getting middle-aged because I found myself marvelling at how someone would choose the same pale beige carpet for their entire house.

I expect they're those funny shoes-off-in-the-house sorts that I always cross the street to avoid.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 6:55 AM on October 26, 2011 [9 favorites]


This is worse than the Nürburgring.

I herby name it The Orange Hell.
posted by eriko at 7:00 AM on October 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


Other comments.

1) Film is shot. Someone says "OMG that floor is FILTHY you post that on the internet and you die!!!" Mass cleaning ensues.

2) Needs a bemused cat. Seriously. Don't all videos of this sort require a bemused cat?
posted by eriko at 7:01 AM on October 26, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'm obviously getting middle-aged because I found myself marvelling at how someone would choose the same pale beige carpet for their entire house.

Which the carpet cleaners spent a full day on, since they banged up every baseboard in the house.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 7:02 AM on October 26, 2011


I was counting the number of track boosters and it came to over 110 (I couldn't see all of them).

I also checked the Hot Wheels site and the item didn't seem to be listed, but other similar items listed around $16.

So you see $1,750 of just accessories (forget the track, cars, batteries, connectors loops etc etc) then the shill for a charity? Sorry, but I have plea-for-charity burnout and it is not even the holiday season yet.

Probably just a mashup of several clips of short sections of track, but that ending just makes it too weird.
posted by lampshade at 7:05 AM on October 26, 2011


1) Film is shot. Someone says "OMG that floor is FILTHY you post that on the internet and you die!!!" Mass cleaning ensues.

I commented to my partner recently that one of the things I find interesting about youtube videos is the glimpses they give you into people's homes: how cluttery they are, how messy or not-messy, what kind of stuff they hang on the walls. Usually you only see people's houses when they've prepared to have company over. I find it sociologically interesting.

I agree that it must be done in separate shots because otherwise they'd not only have to be able to afford all the track and the boosters, but all the cameras. But I still think it was pretty neat. A lot of the individual setups were very cool, and I like to imagine that they planned and filmed a path that could have existed as a single path all at once.
posted by not that girl at 7:07 AM on October 26, 2011


I started to look at the boosters as there were a couple different kinds and that might tell you how much of this they were able to have set up at once. Once I realized I was doing statistical analysis of a giant Hot Wheels track video on YouTube, I decided it was time to turn off the computer for a while.

See you folks later.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 7:17 AM on October 26, 2011 [7 favorites]


I'm obviously getting middle-aged because I found myself marvelling at how someone would choose the same pale beige carpet for their entire house.

I expect they're those funny shoes-off-in-the-house sorts that I always cross the street to avoid.


I'm one of those funny people and I have rugs on hardwood floors. I marveled at the house too. Much of surburban mcmansion types are as bland as can be, but this place takes it a step further...

Which is the main problem with this track. Sure, it's of some length, but there's no flair. Aside from the tent, it doesn't go through anything. And also, yeah, fake. Count me with the synics

I like to imagine that they planned and filmed a path that could have existed as a single path all at once.

It's easy when every room in your house looks exactly the same. (I swear they went in and out of that same room 12 times.)

All you whiners are lucky. We didn't have any boosters. We just pushed and then pushed again.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:26 AM on October 26, 2011


sc
posted by mrgrimm at 7:27 AM on October 26, 2011


The best part of having two boys is doing shit like this just to watch their mother's face when she gets home. So far we've been caught having a pizza dough throwing contest in the living room, setting up the drums on the roof, and jumping on the bed with ZZ Top blaring. This just tips the scale right over.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:36 AM on October 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


As the owner of a large Hot Wheels track setup (it's for my son, really!) let me just say that if this is in fact a single track, the guy who built it has invested at least $400 in D-cells to power those boosters, let alone the cost of the boosters themselves.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 7:37 AM on October 26, 2011


Kid: Daddy, when can I play?

Dad: DON'T TOUCH IT!!
posted by chugg at 7:38 AM on October 26, 2011 [2 favorites]


I suppose you could use a daughter to drive your wife just as crazy of course. I don't know what I'm saying besides playing like a child is really fun and doing it knowing that you are supposed to be setting the example is even better.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:41 AM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


This reminds me: it's about time I get my 3 yr old started on Hot Wheels tracks. I think I know what's coming this Christmas.
posted by slogger at 7:46 AM on October 26, 2011


Well, they could have been watching their local Freecycle for some time to collect the tracks and boosters. That would make it less costly.
posted by onhazier at 8:33 AM on October 26, 2011


My favorite part was when the car went down the track.
posted by dgran at 8:42 AM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, you just need to look closely about 2:03 to see that the track ends down the sidewalk.

I agree that this certainly could be fake, but that shot proves nothing. You can see in the next shot that the track dips below the curb, so it wouldn't be visible.
posted by designbot at 9:08 AM on October 26, 2011


Is this what early retirement looks like?
posted by tmt at 9:15 AM on October 26, 2011


in next shot that the track dips below the curb
Then you should still be able to see the booster that's up above the curve in that shot.
posted by FreezBoy at 9:26 AM on October 26, 2011


Probably, although at that distance, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that it might just not show up.

I'd say there's a 90% chance it's fake (meaning only one segment was built at a time), but it's not certain. (If nothing else, it goes without saying that this is many, many different takes edited together, not one continuous run.)

If the whole track really existed, it is a crime against humanity that they shot this video just before the release of the Hot Wheels Video Racer.
posted by designbot at 9:55 AM on October 26, 2011


Look at the leaves at 1:51

Now notice no leaves at 1:53

Case solved!
posted by atomicmedia at 10:18 AM on October 26, 2011


Look at the sunlight at the turn at 2:03

No sunlight at the next shot
posted by atomicmedia at 10:22 AM on October 26, 2011


Absence of life forms was eerie. I kept thinking that this was like the super-8, Mattel-style version of Wall-E.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 10:28 AM on October 26, 2011


The part where the track went outside is the bit where my inner kid went whoa cool!, while my adult self simultaneously went what an overkill.

May be not my adult self but my 9 year old self, trying to protect the track from prying neighborhood kids.
posted by the cydonian at 10:32 AM on October 26, 2011


Moving leaves and sunlight don't prove anything other than that it was shot in multiple takes, which would hopefully be obvious, since:
  1. No one has dozens of video cameras, and
  2. Other cameras aren't visible in any of the shots
(By the way, looking for scenes where you should be able to see the other cameras is a great way to unsuspend your disbelief and ruin "reality" shows and even shows shot in a documentary style, like The Office or Parks and Recreation. You're welcome!)
posted by designbot at 10:34 AM on October 26, 2011


Look at the leaves at 1:51

Now notice no leaves at 1:53

Case solved!

Look at the sunlight at the turn at 2:03

No sunlight at the next shot


I dont think I like you guys anymore. :(
posted by the cydonian at 10:36 AM on October 26, 2011


Where's Errol Morris when you need him?
posted by designbot at 10:41 AM on October 26, 2011


The thing that's disappointing about it being "fake" is that it's still an impressive display of imagination, industriousness, and editing, but that gets diminished when you spend most of the video trying to figure out if it's real or not.

All that needed to be done was some sort of intro text that was like "What if we had as many Hot Wheels track sets as we wanted?" and then you'd cut to the edited footage.
posted by Ian A.T. at 11:07 AM on October 26, 2011


The thing that's disappointing about it being "fake" is that it's still a moderately impressive display of imagination, industriousness, and editing

The thing that's disappointing about it being "fake" is that it's fake. Would it be cool if a giant Hot Wheels track took cars around the block? Hell yes it would. But this is not that.

All that needed to be done was some sort of intro text that was like "What if we had as many Hot Wheels track sets as we wanted?" and then you'd cut to the edited footage.

... and no one would watch it.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:48 PM on October 26, 2011


Next time you see a kid pretending to be a Jedi fighting with a lightsaber, remind him it was all just special effects and the Force is actually some Teamster at the end of fishing line, you soulless joy-wraiths.

I hope they blacklist you at the Magic Castle.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:49 PM on October 26, 2011


Gothic Castle. Otherwise the joke doesn't work.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:52 PM on October 26, 2011


Next time you see a kid pretending to be a Jedi fighting with a lightsaber, remind him it was all just special effects and the Force is actually some Teamster at the end of fishing line, you soulless joy-wraiths.

That is exactly what I do, right after I tell them that Star Wars is overrated claptrap.

Gothic Castle. Otherwise the joke doesn't work.

Is there such a thing?!
posted by mrgrimm at 1:11 PM on October 26, 2011


When it went outside I said "You're shitting me". He was not shitting me.

That man has way too much time on his hands.
posted by Decani at 1:51 PM on October 26, 2011


Next time you see a kid pretending to be a Jedi
Star Wars wasn't pretending to be something it wasn't. This is pretending to be "The Mother of all Hot Wheels Tracks" when really it's one Hot Wheels track very creatively filmed and edited.
posted by FreezBoy at 2:26 PM on October 26, 2011


This is pretending to be "The Mother of all Hot Wheels Tracks" when really it's one Hot Wheels track very creatively filmed and edited.

It should've been titled "The Mother of All Hot Wheels Tracks Videos" and then nobody could complain.

But someone still would've.
posted by inigo2 at 2:35 PM on October 26, 2011


A couple years ago my wife got my son some track segments and a car or two. I started "teaching" him how to play with it by showing him one new thing at a time. I started with a small box through which I cut entrance and exit holes, making a tunnel. Run the track over the top, you have a bridge. Flip it and you have a jump.

The following Christmas, Mrs. Plinth and I designed some laser cut plastic pieces that will hold a track segement and when paired let you make easy overpasses that keep stacking.

Now at 4, he makes up narrative with the cars.

Sure, the video is probably fake, and that's fine. He's sharing the joy of creativity with his sons, as I do with my kids. But for those who chose to spend your time being Poirot (or Marple), stay away from my kids. They still believe in Santa Claus, and I'd prefer that they come to understanding the reality in their own time.

By the way, I recall having a booster in the 70's that looked like a small building. It worked ok (about 1/4 of the time, it would turn the car 45 degrees and wedge it tight. Exploding batteries spelled its doom.
posted by plinth at 3:11 PM on October 26, 2011


This is going to be a Minecraft mod in a week.
posted by Evilspork at 3:54 PM on October 26, 2011


What exactly is fake about this?

The part that didn't get filmed is the dad jetting just ahead of the Hot Wheel, laying down track at a furious pace just milliseconds ahead of the racer . . . just like Gromit.

Now admittedly I would have liked to see that, but I can't blame them for failing to capture it on video.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 4:22 PM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also I don't believe this track _really_ gave birth to all other Hot Wheels tracks. So fake.
posted by wildcrdj at 5:10 PM on October 26, 2011 [3 favorites]


How exactly do the boosters work. Do they create an electromagnetic field that powers a motor on the car? Or do they propel the car directly through an electromotive force?
posted by spacediver at 7:48 PM on October 26, 2011


Is there really a debate as to whether or not this is a full track? Meh.
posted by ReeMonster at 7:57 PM on October 26, 2011


How exactly do the boosters work. Do they create an electromagnetic field that powers a motor on the car? Or do they propel the car directly through an electromotive force?

Flux capacitors. Or little wheels that shove them along. One of the two.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 7:59 PM on October 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


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