"Say hello to my little friend" AL PACINO in the new movie "Jack and Jill." :)

November 14, 2011 9:18 AM

"On Friday, a group of comedians took to Twitter, creating a faux-official account for Jack and Jill under the name @JackNJillMovie, firing off a series of digs at the film disguised as a misguided and desperate promotional campaign."

The Twitter account is suspended, but you can't take pee out of a swimming pool.
posted by griphus (66 comments total)

Oh man. I wish I had seen this before I lost two hours to this movie over the weekend. (To be fair, my date turned to me 1/2 hour in and said, "I don't know if I can handle any more of this." So, we were miserable together.)

It was so bad. There was nothing redeeming about this movie. So, I am going to enjoy these fake tweets without shame.
posted by bilabial at 9:24 AM on November 14, 2011

Oh man. I wish I had seen this before I lost two hours to this movie over the weekend.

.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:30 AM on November 14, 2011 [11 favorites]

I'm curious about what would compel anyone to take a risk on this movie. The poster tells you everything you need to know.
posted by bleep at 9:34 AM on November 14, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'm curious about what would compel anyone to take a risk on this movie.

"Starring Adam Sandler"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:36 AM on November 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

And if you think that's not enough, the last Adam Sandler movie of note, Just Go With It, made more than $200 million worldwide on an $80 million budget. You may not like him. But the dude continues to make films that sell.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:38 AM on November 14, 2011

last link no longer shows any search results.
posted by jepler at 9:39 AM on November 14, 2011

"...you can't take pee out of a swimming pool."

Apparently you can.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:41 AM on November 14, 2011 [24 favorites]

Awww. I'm late to the party, and I missed all the pee!
posted by doyouknowwhoIam? at 9:42 AM on November 14, 2011 [16 favorites]

To be fair, my date turned to me 1/2 hour in and said, "I don't know if I can handle any more of this." So, we were miserable together.

I endured Spider-Man 3 because of a similar exchange that went differently: "This is terrible, want to leave?" "Nah, it's not that bad." But if both parties agree the film is that bad, then why not skedaddle?
posted by cribcage at 9:44 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Cool Papa Bell, that was a terrifyingly long plot synopsis in your link. Wikipedia editors need help.
posted by dortmunder at 9:45 AM on November 14, 2011

Because god damn if you didn't pay for $12 of something, and if it isn't going to be delight, it may as well be miserable boredom.
posted by griphus at 9:45 AM on November 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Has anyone else seen Armond White's review of the film? Because I can't even.
posted by hermitosis at 9:45 AM on November 14, 2011 [8 favorites]

I'll go to my grave without seeing a minute of this movie. I'm angry that I had to even see the trailer. Wow, does it look awful.
posted by davebush at 9:47 AM on November 14, 2011 [6 favorites]

The Red Letter Media guys directed me to the trailer that forever besmirches a great song ('Impression That I Get' by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones) by including it. I'll never forgive Sandler for that. Never.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:00 AM on November 14, 2011

The kids were twisting my arm to go this weekend; I checked rotten tomatoes, saw the 3% freshness rating, and decided to stay in.

I'm pretty sure we had more fun reading the horrible reviews and reveling in the snark than we would have watching Sandler pimp his imaginary twin sister out to Al Pacino.
posted by jenkinsEar at 10:01 AM on November 14, 2011

Looks like topsy used a combination of activated charcoal, ion exchange resins and a biological filter with a nice healthy biofilm of nitrifying bacteria to remove the pee from thw swimming pool.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 10:04 AM on November 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Comedian Rob Delaney made some of the best tweets.
posted by geekyguy at 10:05 AM on November 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

"excoolsive"
posted by DU at 10:09 AM on November 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Excoolsive is my new favourite word.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:09 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is probably not a popular opinion around here, but I think Adam Sandler is kinda cute in drag.
posted by modernserf at 10:16 AM on November 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Rob Delaney agrees, modernserf, see his tweets
posted by geekyguy at 10:20 AM on November 14, 2011

I saw the trailer last month and it looked horrible but it's an Adam Sandler movie.
posted by octothorpe at 10:20 AM on November 14, 2011

> This is probably not a popular opinion around here, but I think Adam Sandler is kinda cute in drag.

He does kinda have an Alicia Coppola thing going on there, doesn't he? Hmm.
posted by davelog at 10:22 AM on November 14, 2011

Has anyone else seen Armond White's review of the film? Because I can't even.

Herb: [on phone] Okay, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna hang up, call me back, and say the exact opposite of everything you just said. Goodbye.
[hangs up]
Herb: Bart, Lisa, come over here.
Lisa Simpson: What is it, Unkie Herb?
Herb: I want you to hear what the guys down at the plant think of your old man.
[phone rings]
Herb: Hello?
Engineer: Um, Homer Simpson is a... brilliant man with lots of well thought-out, practical, ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.
posted by griphus at 10:23 AM on November 14, 2011 [23 favorites]

if both parties agree the film is that bad, then why not skedaddle?

The same reason we are still in Iraq ... Sunk costs fallacy.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:33 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm confused. Why did Twitter suspend this account? They've allowed plenty of other mock accounts to exist, but the one mocking a terribly shitty movie gets suspended?

I smell bullshit.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 10:37 AM on November 14, 2011

It's time for Armond White to explain why everyone is wrong about Jack And Jill
posted by mrgrimm at 10:39 AM on November 14, 2011

To be fair, my date turned to me 1/2 hour in and said, "I don't know if I can handle any more of this."

What is Ghostbusters 2 Eraserhead?

True story, had GF smoke a big joint for first time before going to see an Imax movie, but the movie was sold out, so we ran across town and caught Eraserhead, people were walking out of it every 5 minutes, beak baby and whistling radiators freaking me out, just as we stand up to leave the credits roll. Needless to say she's never smoked another joint since.
posted by furtive at 10:53 AM on November 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

> I'll go to my grave without seeing a minute of this movie. I'm angry that I had to even see the trailer. Wow, does it look awful.

If a trailer were made today for Citizen Kane, it would lay right out for you that Rosebud was a sled, have inexplicable crowd cheers during the slow clap, and feature three minutes of various people shouting at each other over a slamming heavy metal soundtrack that abruptly halts to a record scratch, and then a symphonic slow build into a variation on Deus Irae.
posted by ardgedee at 10:56 AM on November 14, 2011 [8 favorites]

Rosebud was a SLED?!?
posted by Ziggurat at 10:57 AM on November 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Really makes a lot of sense. You really only have 1 big star to pay. No crazy CGI to drive up costs. This movie is like money in the bank.

Wish I could have seen Eraserhead in a teatre
posted by Ad hominem at 11:00 AM on November 14, 2011

Wish I could have seen Eraserhead in a teatre

Dude, the IFC on 6th and West 4th has it as a midnight movie at least twice a year.

In fact, funny story: I once took a date to one of their midnight showings. When the lights came on, there was about five people in the audience -- as opposed to the, like, seven at the start -- and some dude in front of us turns to her and gives her one of those I-am-the-resident-film-geek-everwhere-I-go "betya weren't expecting that eh?" She replies "I've seen this movie three times" and he just slinks away.
posted by griphus at 11:02 AM on November 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

the correct term for a trailer-record-stratch is a "Smashmouth". Thank you.
posted by The Whelk at 11:02 AM on November 14, 2011 [9 favorites]

I wish I had seen this before I lost two hours to this movie over the weekend.

I don't mean this to be mean; I am honest to god, 100% genuinely curious. What on earth inspired you to buy two tickets for this movie, site down in a theater and watch it? Did you literally not know anything about it?

I am completely serious. I don't know anyone either among friends, family or at least two degrees thereof who would hear/see "Adam Sandler in drag" and then say "sounds like a Friday for me!" and so when i come across this I really have to ask why. "Why" as a child asks about the color of the sky. Because I do not know and because the technical explanation has yet to be taught me.

This is a serious question. Why did you want to see this movie?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 11:29 AM on November 14, 2011 [12 favorites]

Everything you need to know about that Armond White review is right here:

"All Sandler’s best comedies (Grown Ups, Bedtime Stories, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and the great Spanglish)"
posted by JaredSeth at 11:32 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

From the commercials, the movie consists of unlikeable people, the worst of whom pick on one among them. Is it a comedy? Sounds like reality TV.
posted by Occula at 11:38 AM on November 14, 2011

If a trailer were made today for Citizen Kane...

In fairness, I understand the point here was about trailers (and I agree, your description is spot on) but the fact that you just used Citizen Kane as an example in a thread about this movie.... I just threw up in my soul.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 11:42 AM on November 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Adam Sandler hasn't made a good movie since the '90s and no one is willing to tell him so. It's sad really.
posted by Peztopiary at 11:53 AM on November 14, 2011

Um... Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler is like in love with some girl. But it turns out that the girl is actuallya golden retreiever or something.


Um... How about this: Adam Sandler inherits like, a billion dollars, but first he has to become a boxer or something.

Movie idea number two thousand three hundred and five: Adam Sandler is trapped on an island and falls in love with a coconut.

What? You thought you were going to get away without an Awesom-O reference?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:57 AM on November 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

last link no longer works. "That Twitter account doesn't exist, is deleted, or is set to private."
posted by Deathalicious at 12:00 PM on November 14, 2011

I lost two hours to this movie over the weekend. (To be fair, my date

Just figured out their new advertising campaign:

It's the perfect, "Wanna ditch this thing and go back to my place?" movie.
posted by Deathalicious at 12:04 PM on November 14, 2011 [11 favorites]

griphus: Because god damn if you didn't pay for $12 of something, and if it isn't going to be delight, it may as well be miserable boredom.

aye (if I infer your irony correctly):
Escalation of Commitment

my SO and I have come to agree that it's better to eat a wasted $12 than a wasted $12 paired with a wasted 90 minutes. ..we're talking about two people, at that, so it's really $24 and 3 hours at stake.

Same goes with books. If I'm not dazzled 50 pages in, see ya kid: there are more waiting than I'll ever have time for, and it seems so far that my eyesight isn't improving as I age.
posted by herbplarfegan at 12:07 PM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

> Adam Sandler hasn't made a good movie since the '90s and no one is willing to tell him so.

Funny people? I thought it was an apology for making funny, but stupid movies, but then there was Grown Ups, Just Go With It and now this. He didn't write it, but he must have read Apatow's script, right? George Simmons was not a completely fictional character, yes?
posted by morganw at 12:38 PM on November 14, 2011

You may not like him. But the dude continues to make films that sell.

Well, I continue to sit on my toilet every morning. And what I make is just as stinky. I just wish all my turds were as gold-plated as Sandler's.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:40 PM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I thought this thread was going to be about an imaginary movie of the 'Jack and Jill went up the hill' nursery rhyme that someone was promoting from a fake twitter account. "Will they make it back down the hill?" etc etc
posted by memebake at 12:41 PM on November 14, 2011

I believe this review of the Zookeeper trailer is relevant. (from the awesome Red Letter Media of Star Wars prequel review fame)
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:47 PM on November 14, 2011

"Home Alone" just never gets old!
posted by telstar at 12:57 PM on November 14, 2011

Why did you want to see this movie?

I didn't see it, but I did see Jack Black in Gulliver's Travels, so I know how the logic goes.

We want to see a movie in the theater this weekend.
There's nothing in particular we really want to see.
Comedies are generally a safe bet.
This one has Adam Sandler, his movies are funny even if they get bad reviews.
So, why not.
posted by smackfu at 1:02 PM on November 14, 2011

Comedies are generally a safe bet.
The opposite is true.

Adam Sandler, his movies are funny even if they get bad reviews
See above.
posted by davebush at 1:13 PM on November 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

my SO and I have come to agree that it's better to eat a wasted $12 than a wasted $12 paired with a wasted 90 minutes. ..we're talking about two people, at that, so it's really $24 and 3 hours at stake.

Same goes with books. If I'm not dazzled 50 pages in, see ya kid: there are more waiting than I'll ever have time for, and it seems so far that my eyesight isn't improving as I age.

Yeah, see sunk costs fallacy reference above. I have a much harder time pulling the plug on books, but our time is too limited to sit through crap just cause we paid for it.

(Now I am a consummate plate finisher, regardless of food quality, but I think that's a different thing--more of a religious belief in not wasting food.)
posted by mrgrimm at 1:28 PM on November 14, 2011

George C. Scott watches the Jack & Jill trailer

Sam Neil watches the Jack & Jill trailer
posted by asfuller at 1:41 PM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've never walked out of a movie but then I've never paid to see an Adam Sandler movie either.
posted by octothorpe at 1:43 PM on November 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

JaredSeth : Everything you need to know about that Armond White review is right here:

"All Sandler’s best comedies (Grown Ups, Bedtime Stories, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and the great Spanglish)"

This is very nearly verbatim what I was going to write. The reason I can't stand White is that he is so absurdly contrarian that I don't even need to read his reviews, I can just look at what everyone else gave it and know that he took the opposite stance.

And Chuck and Larry and Spanglish as Sandler's best? Please. Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore might not be universally praised movies, but they stand head and shoulders over this dreck. Not to mention Zohan which managed to be unexpected brilliant.
posted by quin at 1:53 PM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Life is too short for bad movies, unless you have rifftrax in which case life is just too short.
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:01 PM on November 14, 2011

Also, Tim and Eric are great at promoting things that suck ironically.

See Shrek the Third and Herman Cain.

I think a good percentage of youtube commentors, before the originals were pulled, thought Tim and Eric were legitimately promoting it. Re: Herman Cain, have you seen his actual campaign videos?
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:07 PM on November 14, 2011

I've had an irrational hatred for this film ever since the banner ad for it on another site would inexplicably freeze Chrome. I swear, there was like 5 or so ads this one site used to cycle through, and everytime without fail, if it was this goddamn movie, the banner would load and then - nothing. Frozen. Stuck staring at Adam fucking Sandler in drag.
posted by mannequito at 2:23 PM on November 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Does anyone else think Adam Sandler in drag looks EXACTLY like Jennifer Aniston? I'd briefly seen the poster a few times before I actually took a good look at it and just assumed it was a Just go with it sequel or something.
posted by Wantok at 4:18 PM on November 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

I went to it today, after reading and posting in this thread. I paid $5.50 for a matinee that I completely expected to be let down by - it didn't suck.
Adam Sandler does a decent job of portraying both roles that you see them as two different people. (He wasn't as good as Dominic Cooper in The Devil's Double, but it was a solid performance that let the audience see these as two separate characters.)
The film was filled with cameo appearances beyond Al Pacino - Regis Philbin, Jared from Subway, Norm MacDonald, Dan Patrick, Shaquille O'Neal, Drew Carey, John McEnroe, Christie Brinkley, Michael Irvin, Bill Romanowski, Billy Blanks, Vince the Sham-Wow Guy, Bruce Jenner and David Spade as a Snooki-like character.
It was fun and funny. Yeah, the editing was choppy and some scenes began without any explanation or setup. It's an Adam Sandler movie. It is, by the time it is over, a holiday movie about family with a side of romantic comedy.
Is the premise ridiculous? Yeah, absolutely. This weekend I also saw a movie about a high-ranking government official who helped found a government investigation agency that bullied presidents all while suppressing his homosexual tendencies. I also saw a movie about Greek gods that involved the pursuit of a magical bow.
Relax people, they are movies, they are only meant to entertain.
To anyone who wants to complain about losing two hours, I'd venture that you probably actually enjoyed it. Don't feel guilty about what you do or don't enjoy. Enjoy life.
posted by geekyguy at 4:26 PM on November 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Adam Sandler hasn't made a good movie since the '90s and no one is willing to tell him so. It's sad really.

Punchdrunk Love (2002) is a good movie, I think. I thought it had a chance to be a great movie, but fell quite short. Still good though, and good performance from Sandler.

Admittedly, that's the only Sandler movie I've seen since The Wedding Singer. I still cut him a lot of slack because I enjoyed Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore and he seems like a decent guy.
posted by mrgrimm at 5:04 PM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Geekyguy, I think you've taught us all an important lesson here: relax, enjoy life, and never pay full price for an Adam Sandler movie.
posted by octobersurprise at 5:10 PM on November 14, 2011 [5 favorites]

Funny People isn't perfect, but I enjoyed it more than any other Sandler movie I've ever seen. (It helps a lot, I think, that I really enjoy that thing where the show-within-a-show is absolutely goddamn horrible. Sandler's movies in Funny People are on about the same level as Tracy Jordan's.)
posted by box at 5:33 PM on November 14, 2011

I came in here to write what Wantok wrote.
posted by quantumetric at 7:42 PM on November 14, 2011

Uh, wait -- there's also reports over at Fempop that the movie challenges rape culture. Between that and Armond White's review, are we seeing the satire spread beyond the Twitter account and into the territory of the Family Circus cartoon book reviews on Amazon?
posted by gusandrews at 3:44 PM on November 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

> reports over at Fempop

Holy shit! That review is brilliant. I was believing it about 1/2 way through, then checked the rating (PG), decided it had to be a satire, then the rest of the piece made it obvious that it was.

I would pay not just $10, but the extra $5 for QD or whatever gee-gaws they're equipping the theaters with to see a film with Adam Sandler directed by Darren Aronofsky.
posted by morganw at 12:48 PM on November 20, 2011

whoa, brilliant indeed. my favorite bit:

The special effects were great in the scene where Jill pricks her finger on a hypodermic needle, becomes pregnant, and gives birth to a swarm of flies, but I hadn’t been told the movie was in 3D, so I’m sure I was getting half the experience of having the baseball-sized flies buzz through the theater, eating the tears of children.
posted by mannequito at 1:11 PM on November 20, 2011

the correct term for a trailer-record-stratch is a "Smashmouth". Thank you.
but what do i call it when i need to use a song by smashmouth in my trailer that will be very confusing
posted by RobotHero at 2:40 PM on November 26, 2011