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I bungled things and couldn’t even fix a match
December 20, 2011 12:55 PM   Subscribe

The Buddha tells the people he can fulfil only one of their wishes. Someone asks: "Could you lower the price of property in China so that people can afford it?" Seeing the Buddha frown in silence, the person makes another wish: "Could you make the Chinese football team qualify for a World Cup?" After a long sigh, the Buddha says: "Let's talk about property prices."

And speaking of property prices in China, also see.
posted by vidur (20 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
I remember when I was a kid in Beijing I was led to believe both that 1) China invented soccer and 2) China was good at soccer.

Turned out to be just a small (and relatively unimportant) portion of the many many things I had to unlearn once I got to the US.
posted by kmz at 1:05 PM on December 20, 2011 [4 favorites]


China appears to have invented being as bad at soccer as China is.
posted by clockzero at 1:10 PM on December 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


(And man, property prices in Beijing right now are fucking insane. On the way to Badaling I passed by an under construction condo building somewhere around the 6th Ring, aka way the fuck outside the city, and that's saying something considering how much sprawl there is. The sign said the price for a 600 square foot condo was around $160k USD. And Chinese salaries are still generally way lower than USD equivalents. My uncle is a top tier professor at Peking University, one of the best in the world. His annual salary is less than $20k.)
posted by kmz at 1:15 PM on December 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


I remember when I was a kid in Beijing I was led to believe both that 1) China invented soccer and 2) China was good at soccer.

Kind of like how I, having grown up in the US, was led to believe both that 1) the US invented democracy and 2) the US was good at democracy.

/cynical joke derail
posted by 3FLryan at 1:35 PM on December 20, 2011 [13 favorites]


chip-shot gate

I wonder if we will ever get another scandal that will dethrone Watergate, or if every scandal from now on will be known as "[scandal] gate"?
posted by 3FLryan at 1:39 PM on December 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


Estimates of such idle holdings range anywhere from 10 million to 65 million homes; no one really knows the exact number, but the visual impression created by vast "ghost" districts, filled with row upon row of uninhabited villas and apartment complexes, leaves one with a sense of investments with, literally, nothing inside.

The motto of the economic order for 50 years has been growth for the sake of growth. Just like cancer. The incomprehensibly immense waste of time and resources represented by the millions of empty homes that now litter China as well as the USA ought to be branded onto the back of free market consumerism forever, like bread lines in the USSR - raw physical proof of the abject failure of the system that created it
posted by crayz at 1:40 PM on December 20, 2011 [3 favorites]


The satire in this article is strange, if the article is indeed satirical.

Everyone knows you cannot be corrupt at soccer and any good.

This is why Italy has won the WC 3 times and had Juve and other top teams thrown out of the first division. Brazil is another country with totally clean football.

Clearly to succeed the Chinese need to bring in the top levels of soccer organisation to clean up the game. Blatter and Bin Haman will fix things in no time.

Also, from the article's comments it is worth knowing that there are Chinese stars who play at the top level of European club football so China has had a few home grown stars. Sun Jihai, who played for Manchester City and Li Tie, who played for Everton, both in the English Premier League are Chinese.
posted by sien at 1:42 PM on December 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


I wonder if we will ever get another scandal that will dethrone Watergate, or if every scandal from now on will be known as "[scandal] gate"?

It's a one-syllable suffix that instantly conveys meaning. It'll probably be around for a really long time. I hear Quisling to denote betrayal more often than Benedict Arnold or Brutus, but then Judas is still in the running.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:16 PM on December 20, 2011


Just for the record, China qualified for the 2002 World Cup. They didn't do very well (losses to Costa Rica, Brazil, and Turkey) but they were in it.
posted by Fnarf at 2:45 PM on December 20, 2011


The problem is when I watch Chinese football I need to watch some other football 15 minutes later or I feel like I haven't watched any football at all.
posted by srboisvert at 3:09 PM on December 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


The problem is when I watch American democracy I need to watch some other democracy 15 minutes later or I feel like I haven't watched any democracy.

[sorry, it's just too fun]

Pretty cool play by Sun Jihai (Chinese player mentioned upthread).
posted by 3FLryan at 4:17 PM on December 20, 2011


He should just teach them Shaolin Soccer.
posted by homunculus at 5:39 PM on December 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


-BrotherCaine-
I’ve never heard "Quisling" before, thanks for that.
posted by bongo_x at 5:43 PM on December 20, 2011


homunculus: He should just teach them Shaolin Soccer.

They're trying but only getting it half right.

Yes, I know it's a Nigerian player in the Hong Kong league, so it's not technically germane, but just look at that thing... it's straight out of Shaolin Soccer.
posted by Kattullus at 6:58 PM on December 20, 2011


>The Buddha tells the people he can fulfil only one of their wishes.

I don't think the Buddha granted wishes. I don't think he was like a genie or Santa, or breakfast radio hosts.
posted by surenoproblem at 10:04 PM on December 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Buddha can only grant one wish. And that wish has to be to rub his belly. There really is other point to living in his present.
posted by srboisvert at 4:27 AM on December 21, 2011


If you meet the Buddha on the road, rub his belly. I like that much better than the alternative.
posted by Kattullus at 6:45 AM on December 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


When you get deep enough into any folk religion it all comes down to asking for supernatural favors. I feel confident blithely asserting that, yes.
posted by clockzero at 12:04 PM on December 21, 2011


Ignorance must be wonderfully comforting.
posted by Grangousier at 12:16 PM on December 21, 2011


You mean you don't know, Grangousier?
posted by clockzero at 12:35 PM on December 21, 2011


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