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Pop a Scotch for me, will ya?
January 5, 2012 7:40 AM   Subscribe

Scotch. In. A. Can. I have nothing more to add.
posted by cross_impact (149 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
You take it neat, then?
posted by OmieWise at 7:40 AM on January 5, 2012 [7 favorites]


Well, this would certainly make family train rides to Boston more interesting.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 7:43 AM on January 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


Aged at least a month!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:44 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Does it come with a straw?
posted by octothorpe at 7:45 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


A distillery in Scotland is planning to sell its whisky in beer cans.

Blended? That is NOT whisky, that's whiskey, and barely that. Blecch. Oooh, though, it's all of three years old! ;-P
posted by Shane at 7:45 AM on January 5, 2012


One can is all it takes.
posted by unwordy at 7:47 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'd probably buy one of these, not to consume myself, but to offer to single-malt snobs just to watch their heads explode.

I imagine that their heads would make a high, keening wail, not unlike a set of bagpipes, immediately pre-detonation.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:48 AM on January 5, 2012 [32 favorites]


"Scottish Spirits" -- swearing, angry, "Ya clarty bastard" etc

It's a good name.
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 7:48 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Should make for fun shotgunning.
posted by jonmc at 7:48 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I mean, if you're an alcoholic looking for a cheap, economical, portable buzz, there's always lighter fluid.
posted by Shane at 7:48 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Technically, scotch only has to be aged three years to be called "scotch."

This seems like a terrible idea. Just terrible.

I'll take a case, thanks.
posted by pts at 7:48 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


looks like I picked the right time to quit drinking
posted by thelonius at 7:49 AM on January 5, 2012 [7 favorites]


"They'll crack it open and pour it with Coke or some kind of mixer," says Ken Rubenfeld, the company's vice president of operations, "and have fun with it with their friends." If the container did not tip you off, that scenario probably tells you all you need to know about the quality of this product.
The "pour it with coke" isn't that crazy. I buy those huge, cheap plastic jugs of "brandy" and "whiskey" for the same thing. A smaller container would be more convenient. For my uses, it should be resealable, but for a party it wouldn't.
posted by DU at 7:49 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


...contends, consumers of age are hopefully smart enough to realize that scotch in a can is, after all, still scotch in a can


Not saying a lot there, I can only imagine the problems I face when drinking the Barley Wine I make (Now remember this is not just regular beer: IT'S IN A BEER BOTTLE!!!) would be amplified (remember it's scotch: IT'S IN A BEER CAN!!!), all of which is just a roundabout way of saying the container used can influence the sipping amount.

Never gone broke underestimating people's stupidity (mine includ).

and serryly? The hiking line of reasoning is just stupid... that's what flasks are for- duh)
posted by edgeways at 7:50 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


The one to have if you're only having one.
posted by peeedro at 7:50 AM on January 5, 2012 [15 favorites]


I would be all like this post is Johnnie Walker Blue, but it already exists in a bottle.
posted by dortmunder at 7:50 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'd probably buy one of these, not to consume myself, but to offer to single-malt snobs just to watch their heads explode.

*head explodes with a high, keening wail.*
posted by Shane at 7:52 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also coming soon for our American cousins: a special edition haggis-filled Twinkie.
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 7:52 AM on January 5, 2012 [10 favorites]


So, since the "suggested" use of this is to be poured into mixers, and not drank directly from the can, what is the purpose of this packaging, other than the very obvious "drink it like a beer/soda"?
posted by Old'n'Busted at 7:53 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Granted, I hate to take my flask camping...
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:54 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I can't imagine who the target market for this product would be.

People who used to be in the 1% but are now in the 99%?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:56 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


This seems like a one-off joke from one of the better seasons of The Simpsons.
posted by codacorolla at 7:58 AM on January 5, 2012 [9 favorites]


So, since the "suggested" use of this is to be poured into mixers, and not drank directly from the can, what is the purpose of this packaging, other than the very obvious "drink it like a beer/soda"?

I suppose one use for it would be to take in to tailgating, concerts, or other sporting events. You get a coke and it looks far less suspicious to pour a can in to it than to tip a flask or a bottle.
posted by codacorolla at 7:59 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


If we can get our native bro population to switch to "scotching" over "icing," we could beat our planned Bro Reduction Schedule Quotas by at least five years.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:00 AM on January 5, 2012 [17 favorites]


"You know, for kids!"
posted by entropicamericana at 8:00 AM on January 5, 2012 [7 favorites]


So, since the "suggested" use of this is to be poured into mixers, and not drank directly from the can, what is the purpose of this packaging, other than the very obvious "drink it like a beer/soda"?

An aluminum can is a perfectly fine vessel for storing a beverage, a lot of the stigma against it is for it being associated with low class connotations rather than for actual technical reasons. From the manufacturer's perspective, the aluminum can itself is cheap and sturdy, and generally the process of filling cans is cheaper than bottling. For beverages that are sensitive to light (such as beer) it's actually a much better choice than clear bottles for keeping light out, and sealed cans are completely airtight. The main problem with this particular use is that 12 oz is much more hard liquor than the average person needs in one sitting, and aluminum cans are not resealable. A smaller can would probably make more sense but would look even sillier.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:00 AM on January 5, 2012 [11 favorites]


I suppose one use for it would be to take in to tailgating, concerts, or other sporting events.

That's what I was thinking. Scotch in a can would go great with Football Hooliganism!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 8:04 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Is not a good time to introduce my idea for Islay-distilled IPA? I call it Hopscotch.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:04 AM on January 5, 2012 [17 favorites]


So, since the "suggested" use of this is to be poured into mixers, and not drank directly from the can, what is the purpose of this packaging, other than the very obvious "drink it like a beer/soda"?

To the other answers, I'll also add- marketing. It should be quite an effective gimmick. I'll admit it, I'm not interested in buy a small amount of apparently shitty whiskey, but I'd probably pick this up just for the hell of it, even just to leave it on the shelf.
posted by beau jackson at 8:04 AM on January 5, 2012


An aluminum can is a perfectly fine vessel for storing a beverage, a lot of the stigma against it is for it being associated with low class connotations rather than for actual technical reasons.

Beer out of cans always tastes worse to me than beer out of bottles or glasses. Is this a psychological issue or does it actually taste different? Whiskey with that sharp metallic taste I associate with beer in cans sounds awful.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:05 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


This could actually be sort of handy for boating. Around here anyway, you can't take glass on the water, so you could get one of these and a sixer of cola and be able to make mixed drinks. Of course, you can already do that with a flask.
posted by echo target at 8:06 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm holding out for Scotch in a box.
posted by bondcliff at 8:06 AM on January 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


Beer out of cans always tastes worse to me than beer out of bottles or glasses. Is this a psychological issue or does it actually taste different?

I've never had beer from a can, but it wouldn't surprise me that a company attempting to save money on packaging would also produce a cheaper (i.e. probably lower-quality) beer.
posted by DU at 8:07 AM on January 5, 2012


DU. has. never. had. beer. from. a. can.
posted by toastchee at 8:08 AM on January 5, 2012 [57 favorites]


I've never had beer from anything but a boot.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:09 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I've never had beer from a can

my head asplode
posted by Aizkolari at 8:10 AM on January 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


Well, to be fair, DU's hands were replaced with giant lobster claws after he lost them saving the planet Crustasceous IV from the B'zelgruelian Invasion.

I mean, that's the only logical explanation, right?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:11 AM on January 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


My Scottish ancestors would be Glenlivid about this.
posted by argonauta at 8:12 AM on January 5, 2012 [23 favorites]


I've never had beer from a can

That's like saying "I've never eaten food served in Styrofoam." It's certainly possible, maybe even admirable in some ways, but goddammit son it just ain't right.
posted by bondcliff at 8:15 AM on January 5, 2012 [18 favorites]


I'll admit it, I'm not interested in buy a small amount of apparently shitty whiskey, but I'd probably pick this up just for the hell of it, even just to leave it on the shelf.

I wish my life was uncluttered enough I could buy stuff just to buy stuff [not snark]
posted by edgeways at 8:15 AM on January 5, 2012


I've never had beer from a can, but it wouldn't surprise me that a company attempting to save money on packaging would also produce a cheaper (i.e. probably lower-quality) beer.

I should say, I mean the same beer tastes different. Usually, this is cheap beer (who else uses cans), but since I can get, say Miller High Life, in bottles and in cans, my experience has always been that the High Life in bottles tastes better.

Obviously, I could be imagining this. Or it could be that Miller is putting crummier High Life in cans, but that seems like a lot of work to make a frat party a slightly worse place to be.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:15 AM on January 5, 2012


I'm not sure which is more frightening: That it's only aged three years (Scottish lightening?) or that it's only the booze equivalent of 1.7 Four Lokos.
posted by General Malaise at 8:16 AM on January 5, 2012


I'm holding out for Scotch in a box.

Me too, ever since Sons of Anarchy showed what that shiny, happy world could look like. Sippy straws for everyone!
posted by amy lecteur at 8:16 AM on January 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


12 oz is much more hard liquor than the average person needs in one sitting

Ahh, but Scotch in a Can is for the above average consumer.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:17 AM on January 5, 2012 [11 favorites]


Aye, but if it was really Scottish whisky, it'd be in a tinnie, no a can.
posted by Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo at 8:17 AM on January 5, 2012 [8 favorites]


this is cheap beer (who else uses cans)

Oskar Blues, Sixpoint, Sierra Nevada, 21st Amendment, Brooklyn, Surly, ...
posted by uncleozzy at 8:20 AM on January 5, 2012 [14 favorites]


I'm holding out for Scotch in a box.

Isn't that how it's already sold? I mean, they put your twelve bottles in a spare box to help you carry it to your car.

That's how everyone buys Scotch, right?
posted by backseatpilot at 8:20 AM on January 5, 2012 [13 favorites]


Also there is a reason that pint bottles of booze are flask-shaped. You can't hide a can in your pocket.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:21 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I've never had beer from a can

That's like saying "I've never eaten food served in Styrofoam." It's certainly possible, maybe even admirable in some ways, but goddammit son it just ain't right.


I'm reminded, yet again, of an old New York magazine article in which the writer is decrying the touristization of 57th Street in NYC, in which he mentions--in the context of tourist joints like the Hard Rock Cafe doing a brisk business in T-shirts--that he's never worn an article of clothing with writing on it. Ever. Assuming he means that literally, and is including things like school gym uniforms, he and I may as well not even be from the same planet.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:23 AM on January 5, 2012


Beer out of cans always tastes worse to me than beer out of bottles or glasses. Is this a psychological issue or does it actually taste different? Whiskey with that sharp metallic taste I associate with beer in cans sounds awful.

First of all for best taste don't drink beer straight out of a bottle or can, always pour it into a glass. Aluminum does have a detectable metallic taste if you actually drink out of it, but the can has a waxy liner on the inside so the beer itself so it does not automatically get any kind of metallic flavor. So if you can't pour it into a glass, a bottle is better because glass bottles don't affect the taste much. After that they should taste exactly the same, if anything the can should be better at keeping the exact same taste that you would get from drinking it at the brewery itself. If you really want to see the benefits of a can over a bottle for beer though, put a bottle (preferably clear or green) and can out in the sun for a day and then get them cold again and drink them.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:25 AM on January 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


How are you meant to glass someone with a can?
posted by ob at 8:29 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yeah, New Belgium is selling some of their beer in cans now where I live, and I've gotta say I actually prefer it. I mean, the beer tastes the same, but you can buy a case of twelve instead of a six-pack, and you don't have to worry about dropping it while you're carrying your groceries in. Also, the cans are crushable, so you can go longer without taking the recycling out.

What I'm trying to say here is, I drink decent beer but I'm exceedingly lazy. (And finally someone is catering to my demographic! Hooray!)
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:29 AM on January 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


I've been drinking Scotch out of a can for years.

Yeeeeeeearshshshshshhhshss.
posted by orme at 8:30 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Isn't that how it's already sold? I mean, they put your twelve bottles in a spare box to help you carry it to your car.

When's the meetup at your place?
posted by bondcliff at 8:31 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I won't drink beer from clear bottles, and every since I came to terms that I don't like larger I haven't touched a green bottle either. There is a reason the overwhelming majority of beer is in brown bottles. what i don't understand is why glass carboys aren't brown by default (I end up putting a sweater over them when fermenting).

As to cans... mm Surly Furious is top notch and is canned. I noticed Guinness also comes in cans (mind you they also refrigerate those) although I have given it up in favor of local stuff
posted by edgeways at 8:31 AM on January 5, 2012


Also there is a reason that pint bottles of booze are flask-shaped. You can't hide a can in your pocket.

Ah, but you can put a can-koozie and pretend that it's something else so when the cops come b- I mean, yeah, crazy.

i swear that this is all hypothetical or at the very least learned years ago as an undergrad
posted by codacorolla at 8:33 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


For some perspective, this stuff is cheaper-per-L than Old Smuggler in a 1.75L plastic handle. Old Smuggler is not a particularly enjoyable spirit.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:35 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


This was foretold in Revelations.
posted by Stagger Lee at 8:38 AM on January 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


What i don't understand is why glass carboys aren't brown by default (I end up putting a sweater over them when fermenting).

Sometimes you want to be able to see into the carboy — if nothing else, you want it to be really obvious if you miss a spot when you're washing it out.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:39 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: sometimes you want to be able to see into the carboy
posted by Flashman at 8:42 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Ah, but you can put a can-koozie and pretend that it's something else so when the cops come

A few years ago, I was tailgating at a baseball game, where alcohol was technically forbidden. We brought a stack of coffee cups from 7-11 for beer-drinking purposes.

The police occasionally made rounds, confiscating beer and handing out citations. They were driving past us, making an announcement about the alcohol ban, and added, "but if you are drinking beer, you should drink it out of a coffee cup, that would be a really good idea." And they kept on driving.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:43 AM on January 5, 2012 [14 favorites]


bondcliff: "I'm holding out for Scotch in a box."

Franzia Single Malt.
posted by schmod at 8:46 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I heartily approve of this produ ... Holy Jesus, I can't feel my legs.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:46 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Well, at least it's blend.

Does that label really say "3 year old"?
posted by Artw at 8:46 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


It doesn't seem to me that the whisky industry can afford to expand into the low end market. There are real, finite limits to how muck whisky Scottish distilleries can actually produce.

Then again, I don't see these articles discussing what's being blended in these cans, although they do leer confusingly at some of the better known distilleries:

Critics have argued that eight shots of a beverage with the same alcohol content as venerable scotches including Johnnie Walker Blue and The Glenlivet 12 is too many to be sold in a container that can't be resealed.
posted by Stagger Lee at 8:47 AM on January 5, 2012


This bottle / can question seems like a job for Science. I might have to do some sort of double-blind taste test this weekend.

(But not the kind of "double blind" where you actually end up blind. That's bad.)
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:48 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


But Rubenfeld insists his product does not encourage binge drinking, arguing that consumers will know it should be sipped like Dewars, not gulped like Dr. Pepper.
If there's one consumer segment known for being responsible, it's people who buy the cheapest booze they can get their hands on.
posted by usonian at 8:49 AM on January 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


This is not something I needed to know about mere days from picking up my 90-day chip.

eponysterical, yeah, sorry.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 8:49 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


To be fair, I hadn't had beer at all until...2 months ago? I mean sure, sips here and there.

Why buy the cheap crappy stuff as an adult?
posted by DU at 8:50 AM on January 5, 2012



Why buy the cheap crappy stuff as an adult?


In my limited experience, arts students, all the way through their MA and possibly their doctorate.
posted by Stagger Lee at 8:55 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


There are real, finite limits to how muck whisky Scottish distilleries can actually produce.

Are there, though? Do the restrictions on what can be called "Scotch" actually require the grains that go into the mash to be grown in Scotland? If not, then you could just build out distillery capacity in Scotland, using imported grain from wherever happens to be cheap at the moment, and just do the minimum required so that it can be called Scotch.

It's tough to scale up traditional pot-still distilling, but quite easy to scale up modern industrial distillation that uses continuously-fed columns. Even if there's not a ton of excess capacity right now, it could be built out pretty quickly.
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:57 AM on January 5, 2012


It might not be the most sophisticated way to down your whisky, but it certainly would prove convenient at the midpoint of a long hike. We'll remain optimistic for now, but if you have any thoughts on the matter, please add them in the comments below.


I prefer my (single malt, agreed, is not really in the same class as just Scotch) in the evening, ideally a winter evening, with snowflakes softly dotting down outside, in a nice crystal cut glass, with three cubes of ices in about two fingers, sipped, slowly, to the accompaniment of music and the faint smell of tobacco in the air.

Not on a hike.
posted by infini at 8:57 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Many micro breweries who can afford it are installing canning lines. Surly and 21st Amendment taste great from cans if poured into a glass.

I would love small cans of good hard liquor. To take camping or bike riding. Glass is heavy.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 8:58 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Why buy the cheap crappy stuff as an adult?

Also, even sophisticated urbanites have a taste for nostalgia. And stinginess.
posted by psoas at 8:58 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Beer out of cans always tastes worse to me than beer out of bottles or glasses. Is this a psychological issue or does it actually taste different?

I've never had beer from a can, but it wouldn't surprise me that a company attempting to save money on packaging would also produce a cheaper (i.e. probably lower-quality) beer.


Not the case that cheap beer is the only kind to come in cans; in fact the opposite is true a lot of the time. Many tasty imports come in tall cans out this way, while bottled beer tends to be your Molson/Labatt variety stuff. Which needs all th ehelp it can get I suppose, so maybe it's best out of a bottle.
posted by Hoopo at 9:00 AM on January 5, 2012


There are real, finite limits to how muck whisky Scottish distilleries can actually produce.

Tell that to the Goans
posted by infini at 9:02 AM on January 5, 2012


Not on a hike.

Scotch tastes amazingly delicious served from a Nalgene bottle miles from nowhere when you've spent all day getting there, knowing it's sitting in your backpack.

But your way sounds nice too.
posted by bondcliff at 9:03 AM on January 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


Boak.
posted by scruss at 9:03 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Just import some Heinz Big Eat All Day Breakfast in a can from Australia to deal with the hangover and you'll be all set.
posted by Harpocrates at 9:03 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Not the case that cheap beer is the only kind to come in cans...

True, but cheap beer is often best in cans. Certainly, you don't want to pour it into a glass and look at it.
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:04 AM on January 5, 2012


Good list, uncleozzy. Now I want to grill in someone else's backyard (I don't have one) and drink Dale's Pale Ale.
posted by defenestration at 9:13 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


What'll they think of next, canned champagne?

To be fair, a malt beverage, but close enough.

posted by item at 9:14 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Everyone knows the best way to drink champagne is out of a stiletto heel.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:19 AM on January 5, 2012


What'll they think of next, canned champagne?

Oh, you've been able to get the Sofia Coppola sparkling wine in cans for years now. Pink ones.
posted by argonauta at 9:20 AM on January 5, 2012


Why buy the cheap crappy stuff as an adult?

Not every beer you have in your life has to be the best beer you've ever had in your life.
posted by notmydesk at 9:21 AM on January 5, 2012 [10 favorites]


They'll probably do mega-business in San Diego, or any other city where glass containers are forbidden at pretty much any municipal open space (beach, parks, etc.). I'm sure folks at the bocce courts or disc golf course are ecstatic right now.
posted by LionIndex at 9:25 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Not every beer you have in your life has to be the best beer you've ever had in your life.

Right. You have to at least use ≥ instead of > or else you can never drink the same beer twice.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:27 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've never had beer out of anything other than a funnel and a length of surgical tubing. But I'm just a cheap slut.
posted by Kokopuff at 9:28 AM on January 5, 2012 [7 favorites]


So where can I buy this?

A bunch of us at work pool our money every Friday and buy a couple bottles of some sort of whiskey to enjoy at the end of the day. I'm pretty sure we have to try this, for Science.
posted by spitefulcrow at 9:33 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I love their suggestion that you drink eight shots at the midway point on your hike. I've drunk somewhat less before and it lead to me being unable to find the site, trying to convince my friend to dig a hole to sleep in so that we could "readdress this problem in the morning", and proclaiming with great confidence that "Bears won't bother you if you're sleeping".
posted by troublewithwolves at 9:35 AM on January 5, 2012 [15 favorites]


Everyone knows the best way to drink champagne is out of a stiletto heel.

If you like your bubbly to taste like toejam, hey, man, whatever floats yer boat.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:37 AM on January 5, 2012


I can't imagine who the target market for this product would be.

People who want to drink cheap scotch next to a pool that forbids glass containers?
posted by nomisxid at 9:42 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


My God. Kids today.
posted by Decani at 9:43 AM on January 5, 2012


Is it wrong that I'm wondering if it will come in six-packs?
posted by mollweide at 9:44 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


See the worry about resealable cans just further proves my point that liquor goes bad. I always make sure to drink it quickly enough to prevent the horrible occurrence.
posted by Carillon at 9:49 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm surprised no one has done cans with glued on labels yet.
posted by smackfu at 9:53 AM on January 5, 2012


call me when you're making caffeinated scotch in a can
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 10:10 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


call me when you're making caffeinated scotch in a can

Four Loch-o
posted by Hoopo at 10:13 AM on January 5, 2012 [30 favorites]


I guess a Tallboy of one of these would be really bad then.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:28 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


You know this does sound bad and all, but when it comes to déclassé single-use container alcoholic beverages, nothing tops those little "One Cup Ozeki" jars of sake for disgusting things you should not put in your mouth.
posted by Hoopo at 10:32 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


For those who have doubts that beer in a can can't taste as good as beer from a bottle, I give you the ten-fiddy (and the rest of the line of products by Oskar Blues). Seriously amazing beer, just pour it into a glass first if you are concerned about "aluminum flavor." Also a bonus: you can bring canned beer to the beach without issue (because who wants to find broken beer bottles with their feet?).
posted by mrzarquon at 10:41 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Scotch in the can? *looks towards bathroom* No thanks, I'll have it right here.
posted by Muted Flugelhorn at 10:41 AM on January 5, 2012


My feelings about this are about as mixed as it is possible for my feelings to be.
posted by cortex at 10:44 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


This isn't a 'distillery in Scotland', it's a dodgy importer in Fort Lauderdale repackaging bottom-of-the-barrel blended whisky.

And it's wrong on too many levels to count.
posted by Happy Dave at 10:47 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


And considering they are registered as a subsidiary of 'Scottish Spirits Ltd Cayman Islands group' and advertise 'Job Opportuntities' on their website, I think they are about four baw-hairs this side of sketchy.
posted by Happy Dave at 10:50 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


That's the kind of joyless attention to detail that separates you from the fun-loving, carefree canned scotch demographic, man.
posted by cortex at 10:51 AM on January 5, 2012 [16 favorites]


You guys know about ShotPak right? Its shots of booze in easy to carry (and conceal) bags.

These cans are practically wearing a monocle, comparatively.
posted by mrzarquon at 10:57 AM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I love me some snooty single malts, but I'd try it. Just because.

A coworker of mine bought me this as a Christmas gag. It's... interesting. Not a strong flavor. It's almost like vodka that briefly passed through a can of corn.
posted by Fleebnork at 10:58 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


You guys know about ShotPak right? Its shots of booze in easy to carry (and conceal) bags.

These cans are practically wearing a monocle, comparatively.


You know, I'm pretty happy I just happened to close the door to my office before I clicked that link.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:03 AM on January 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


MetaFilter Moderation: the fun-loving, carefree canned scotch demographic
posted by infini at 11:03 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


If you poke a hole in the top, you can light it and use it as sterno. So it's doubly useful when camping, it will probably kill mosquitoes too.
posted by doctor_negative at 11:05 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I would drink scotch or bourbon from a can. The recycling and weight/danger (broken glass at the beach, etc.) reasons alone make it worth it.

I also would drink a non-alcoholic bourbon-flavored cola drink, if it exists ... ? I've often thought of launching my own. Pepsi Bourbon Blue sounds good.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:08 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Beer in cans is not always cheap stuff. It actually costs a fair bit to get set up to produce cans instead of bottles, so you tend to see it with the mass produced macrobrews.

There is at least one craft brewery here in Canada that is producing cans, and let me tell you, their stuff is delicious.
posted by utsutsu at 11:16 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wait, no Slim Pickens riding the bomb? Serious oversight.

Like the zoom in on Alex at the milk bar it would probably be hard to loop...
posted by Artw at 11:17 AM on January 5, 2012


You know this does sound bad and all, but when it comes to déclassé single-use container alcoholic beverages, nothing tops those little "One Cup Ozeki" jars of sake for disgusting things you should not put in your mouth.

Ah, I wish I had some of those right now. I used to buy them at Yaohan's in LA. I used to have a shelf full of those little glasses, but they all broke over the years.

But anyway, just for reference in this thread:

Sake in a can. A self-heating can.
posted by charlie don't surf at 11:31 AM on January 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


Beer in cans is not always cheap stuff.

I have been enjoying Hop Crisis (and Brew Free or Die) and Old Chub.

But watch out ... Old Chub (8% ABV) will jump up and bite!
posted by mrgrimm at 11:36 AM on January 5, 2012


Saw Fat Tire make a go of cans for a while, but haven't seen it lately ... yep, still going, now with tall boys.

The one I would root for would be Bear Republic. It would be excellent to get Racer 5 in a can. It's a good hot-weather beer, and I'd much prefer that to Tecate or Natural Light.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:38 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


A self-heating can.

well here I was thinking that after living there I was over the "WOAH" factor for cool stuff from Japan. I'm one of these new-schoolers that like sake cold, but still that is awesome.
posted by Hoopo at 11:40 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


For those who think that canned beer tastes different than bottle or draft: if you drink it directly out of the can, you're actually smelling the aluminum while you drink the beer, hence the "tinny" taste. As a ton of other people pointed out upthread, pour your beer into a glass first.
posted by slogger at 11:44 AM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


> The one I would root for would be Bear Republic

If you like Old Chub, go for Dale's Pale Ale. Canned beers have a lower oxygen saturation level as well, so hoppy beers keep their hoppy freshness longer, so IPAs in a can are the venn diagram of tasty.
posted by mrzarquon at 11:53 AM on January 5, 2012


if you drink it directly out of the can, you're actually smelling the aluminum while you drink the beer, hence the "tinny" taste.

You haven't seen the new style of bottle-style cans. They're coated with plastic.

My advice for those people who buy the old style cheap aluminum cans and want to avoid the aluminum taste: don't lick the can.
posted by charlie don't surf at 11:57 AM on January 5, 2012


Dale's Pale is just about the best thing to drink while sitting on the porch in August reading a book.
posted by octothorpe at 11:58 AM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


A self-heating can.

well here I was thinking that after living there I was over the "WOAH" factor for cool stuff from Japan. I'm one of these new-schoolers that like sake cold, but still that is awesome.


The technology has been around for a bit, and while I too thought it was cool at first (IIRC, a similar self-heating food container is in the Asimov novel Pebble in the Sky), but unfortunately my exposure to it was via Wolfgang Puck-branded canned coffee, and it was quite horrid.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:19 PM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Okay, I like to do things and drink.
When I am backpacking, we always keep our liquor in extra water bottles. The number of water bottles is dependent upon how long the two of us will be in the woods. 3 quarts is usually enough for 2 people over 4 days. Extra in the car in case you need to shorten the loop for a refill then return to the woods.
When I am taking a short day hike in the greenbelt, a small flask and some canned beer will suffice. Good canned beer if I have it. There are many these days. Crap canned beer if that's all I have. In neither case do I lick the cans.
When I am at a music festival and I want a mixed drink, the whole vacuum packed bag thing comes in handy. I took about 90 mixed drinks of various sorts to Muddy Roots this year. My family calls them "adult capri-suns". I don't.
Cheap scotch in a can? Only see this as a novelty for me and a method of hiding (until the staggering and slurring makes it obvious) the drink for others.
But hey . . . more power to them.
posted by Seamus at 12:19 PM on January 5, 2012


This can't be real. I'll bet it's actually a front for a chemical weapons lab. Someone should alert the Defence Threat Reduction Agency.
posted by homunculus at 12:24 PM on January 5, 2012


Blended? That is NOT whisky, that's whiskey
If it's distilled in Scotland, it's whisky. Canada too (usually). Whiskey refers to the products of Ireland or the United States (usually). The spelling has nothing to do with blended vs. not, only the country of origin.

Note that there are plenty of outstanding blended Scotches, and plenty of mediocre or worse single malts as well.

I'd try it. But I'll drink anything. I even got through an entire bottle of Indian (from India) "whisky", which is made from molasses, like rum, but tastes like Scotch with subtle notes of brake fluid and antifreeze. Just kidding about the "subtle".
posted by Fnarf at 12:26 PM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


::steps out on stage::
::walks to microphone::
::clears throat::

Yuck.

::walks off stage::
posted by Splunge at 12:27 PM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cheap scotch in a can? Only see this as a novelty for me and a method of hiding (until the staggering and slurring makes it obvious) the drink for others.

I remember seeing a documentary about huffing. They put paint solvents in a pop can and sniffed from it, thinking it looked close enough to drinking to disguise what they were doing.

At one point in the documentary, a guy lifted up his shirt and proudly displayed hideous scars all across his belly. He said that one day, he and his friend got so high, they played tic tac toe on his stomach with a knife.
posted by charlie don't surf at 12:28 PM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


He said that one day, he and his friend got so high, they played tic tac toe on his stomach with a knife.

good thing they were too high to play chess, isn't it?
posted by pyramid termite at 12:40 PM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


This product was in the news almost exactly a year ago. Back then, Scottish Spirits™ was a Panama-based company with "an office" in Glasgow; now, according to its website, it's a "well-established, major liquor company, based in Orlando, Florida, USA. Scottish Spirits Imports Inc. is part of the Scottish Spirits Ltd Cayman Islands group and is a main importer of Scottish Spirits brand for North American and Canadian Market." And in the Huffington Post article, the headquarters are said to be in Fort Lauderdale.

So this is now two Januarys in which this supposed canned whisky has made news, but not the shelves, supposedly produced by a company that might be based in two different cities in Florida, Panama, the Cayman Islands, and ostensibly Scotland.

Right.
posted by me3dia at 12:43 PM on January 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Why buy the cheap crappy stuff as an adult?

There are broke adults too.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 1:34 PM on January 5, 2012


Well, I for one welcome our new tinned Scotch drinking overlords!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 2:00 PM on January 5, 2012


cheap stuff? brings back bad memories of roommate who drank "Vladimir" vodka. Look for it on the lower shelf. No, not that one, keep going.
posted by thelonius at 3:12 PM on January 5, 2012


Oh man. One time when I was like 22 I went into a liquor store and noticed, down near the floor, a bunch of bottle labeled "Oregon Springs Vodka", and I was like, ooh, Oregon! Awesome! And only ten dollars!
posted by cortex at 3:16 PM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


cheap stuff? brings back bad memories of roommate who drank "Vladimir" vodka. Look for it on the lower shelf. No, not that one, keep going.

Royal Gate puts the "aah" in vodka. (More like "argghhhhhh!")
posted by mrgrimm at 3:18 PM on January 5, 2012


At least you're not dealing with insane tax schemes based on the malt content of the beer. One can of any major beer in Japan, ¥210 ($2.75ish). One can of "happoshu" (low malt fake beer) runs about ¥160. Then there's "third category" fake beer, with little to no malt, brewed from crap like peas. PEAS. ¥120 a can. And that's not even talking about the spendiness of Japanese microbrews (which are amazing).

Next time you're buying a six pack (of bottles, no less) for less than ten bucks, drink a little for me, would you?
posted by Ghidorah at 3:55 PM on January 5, 2012


"Bears won't bother you if you're sleeping".

This is generally true except if you are wearing assless leather chaps...
posted by srboisvert at 3:59 PM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


The main problem with this particular use is that 12 oz is much more hard liquor than the average person needs in one sitting,...

I submit that anyone drinking scotch out of a damn can is probably below average in their sense of taste and above average in their general consumption.
posted by BlueHorse at 4:29 PM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


You know, I'm pretty happy I just happened to close the door to my office before I clicked that link.

I love how their slogan is 'Drink Different. Drink Responsibly.' and its crammed under the arched back of a girl in fishnets and booty shorts sucking on a bag of liquor.
posted by mannequito at 5:16 PM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Oregon Springs Vodka", and I was like, ooh, Oregon! Awesome!

I had a similar experience involving Poland Spring Vodka. I figured, huh, that water company makes vodka? Well, their water is good, maybe their vodka is, too.

It was not.

(And it's not related to Poland Spring water.)
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:45 PM on January 5, 2012


So this is now two Januarys in which this supposed canned whisky has made news, but not the shelves, supposedly produced by a company that might be based in two different cities in Florida, Panama, the Cayman Islands, and ostensibly Scotland.

....and we're reading about it over the Internet. So all we need is to somehow get some Manila gangsters mixed up in this, and we'll be living in a Neal Stephenson novel.
posted by mannequito at 8:41 PM on January 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


cheap stuff? brings back bad memories of roommate who drank "Vladimir" vodka. Look for it on the lower shelf. No, not that one, keep going.

One of the worst nights of my life was the result of 'Rasputin' vodka. Warm, neat, $5 a bottle.

Good times.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:38 PM on January 5, 2012


I so wish had bought this.
posted by Artw at 9:53 PM on January 5, 2012


"but if you are drinking beer, you should drink it out of a coffee cup, that would be a really good idea." And they kept on driving.

A great moment in civic compromise.
posted by formless at 10:03 PM on January 5, 2012


I guess I'm just going to stick to Coppola's canned champagne.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 11:54 PM on January 5, 2012


Artw- A friend of mine didn't just buy that bottle, he earned it. He said that drinking his way through it was an exercise in suffering.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 11:59 PM on January 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


cheap stuff? brings back bad memories of roommate who drank "Vladimir" vodka. Look for it on the lower shelf. No, not that one, keep going.

One of the worst nights of my life was the result of 'Rasputin' vodka. Warm, neat, $5 a bottle.

Good times.


Aristocrat Vodka was mine. It's pure poison.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:10 AM on January 6, 2012


In my younger lightweight days it was a gallon jug of Carlo Rossi white wine, split three ways with an art student buddy and my little brother at some weird overnighter party in NE Portland.

And then picking up my new computer from the local tech shop the next morning, as in me and my brother literally going there on foot and picking up a desktop tower and a great big CRT with our hands and making the schlep ten blocks home, hungover under an angry summer sun and stopping two or three times every block to breath and curse and wonder what the hell we were thinking.
posted by cortex at 8:15 AM on January 6, 2012


Grand old Glentinnie!
posted by jimfl at 9:19 AM on January 6, 2012


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