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April 10, 2012 8:12 AM   Subscribe

How to stop a fight on the NYC subway
posted by roomthreeseventeen (91 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite

 
Once you pop, the roundhouse kicks to the face stop.
posted by schmod at 8:15 AM on April 10, 2012 [8 favorites]


The "doo doo doo just standin' here eatin' chips doo doo doo" look on the guy's face is priceless. Also, I have wanted to repost this subway fight story for the LONGEST TIME because originally it was in a deleted thread and NOW I WILL:

I'm heading home from a party with a pair of friends of mine. We're on the train station, and there's two piss-drunk teenagers. Local Spanish kids. They're bugging everyone, leering at the girls, making everyone a little tense, etc. We've all been drunk at sixteen and know that there's a lot less restraint going on for doing dumb-ass shit

At some point a couple of 20somethings with bikes comes down and one of the teens just decks the guy in the back of the head. Not hard enough to drop him, but they get into a, well, "conversation." Bike-guy doesn't want to start shit, the puncher's friend is apologizing and the puncher is wildly flagellating between apologizing as well and trying to start shit.

Cue Olympia coming into the train station. Olympia, slim and in her mid 20s, was local too, and, at some point in her life, a guy. She comes down with two friends and we think "Shit. What's going to happen now?" Well. Some interesting stuff happens. Olympia comes right up to the kids harassing the guy and starts giving them the tongue-lash. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? This is grown people you messin' with!" The two kids start up again and she just knocks one to the ground. Cold. Starts kicking the shit out of him, yelling "you don't mess with the cunt." Drags him down the train station. More kicking. His friend is fucking terrified, mumbling something under his breath about this not being fair. Starts waving his schoolbag at her, yelling something about getting a blade and she turns to him and dares him to do it. Eventually, the two kids split.

Olympia, not dazed one bit, sashays down the train station, back to her friends and screams out, for everyone: "My name's Olympia. And if any y'all need help, just call me."
posted by griphus at 8:15 AM on April 10, 2012 [150 favorites]


As long as no one makes a "Nacho Man" theme song in the tune of The Village People's "Macho Man".

But this is kind of random.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:16 AM on April 10, 2012


I'd like to see what all the junk food haters have to say about this. Snackman could not possibly have handled the situation whilst attempting to juggle a to-go cup of hummus with a Tupperware of carrot sticks.
posted by schroedinger at 8:17 AM on April 10, 2012 [25 favorites]


The "doo doo doo just standin' here eatin' chips doo doo doo" look on the guy's face is priceless.

Yeah, exactly what I thought. My other thought is that that guy has kids.
posted by DU at 8:18 AM on April 10, 2012 [23 favorites]


Trip to Subway stops fight on Subway.
posted by ColdChef at 8:18 AM on April 10, 2012 [10 favorites]


This is the best argument for food on the DC Metro I've ever seen!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 8:20 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I see the snack eater as a peace ninja wielding a jujitsu of innocence and harmlessness but strategically interrupting the fight.

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. --Lao Tzu
posted by shivohum at 8:21 AM on April 10, 2012 [56 favorites]


I'm filing this with the story a guy once told me about how he defended a woman from a couple muggers by singing "The Banana Boat song."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:21 AM on April 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


A wonderful example of de-escalation. Good job, Pringles Man.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:21 AM on April 10, 2012


Well done, snacker. Link directly to the video though, and add a via for gawker.

Worth noting that a bunch of other people are helping snacker.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:21 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


The first YT comment I see is about Tebow. Classic.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:22 AM on April 10, 2012


Also, hard to tell totally what's going on, but it doesn't seem like a "fight" per se, i.e. two people get mad at each other and come to blows.

It seems like this man was stalking this woman (he's talking about restaurants and dinner?) and being physically aggressive, and at some point she snapped. My guess is the other passengers made him get off?

Would like to know how the story ends ...
posted by mrgrimm at 8:25 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


The link to gawker adds nothing (and on my ancient browser at work, doesn't even show the video.)

Here is the video.
posted by jsturgill at 8:28 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


It seems like this man was stalking this woman (he's talking about restaurants and dinner?) and being physically aggressive, and at some point she snapped. My guess is the other passengers made him get off?

The person who posted the video to YouTube said "Heading uptown on the 6 train, this woman sits down next to me. Then all of a sudden she jumps up and starts wailing this guy in the face. In complete disbelief I fumble for my phone and capture this..."
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:30 AM on April 10, 2012


This was in one of the newer cars where there's an intercom to speak with the conductor. I used it a few months ago when a psycho older woman began screaming at me to stop reading my paper. I moved away from her, closer to the red button and got the conductor when she didn't stop. He spoke to her at the next station and she eventually left...I don't think she realized that SHE was the reason for the delay.
posted by brujita at 8:33 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Would like to know how the story ends ...

Me too.

Also, griphus, I remember that story, and I love it.
posted by rtha at 8:33 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't always stop fights on the subway, but when I do, I prefer Pringles.
posted by bpm140 at 8:34 AM on April 10, 2012 [11 favorites]


For the first time, well, EVER, the top YouTube comment has been both coherent and funny. I'm gonna copy it here, 'cos something this rare might not stick around for long:
anthpalermo: He's the hero New York deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero, he's a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Snackman.
posted by barnacles at 8:37 AM on April 10, 2012 [37 favorites]


More than anything else, I am traumatized by the realization that I remember griphus's story from a deleted thread two years ago.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:39 AM on April 10, 2012 [20 favorites]


I don't always stop fights on the subway, but when I do, I prefer Pringles.

Stay processed, my friends.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:41 AM on April 10, 2012 [10 favorites]


That's like something Ryan Gosling would do.
posted by eugenen at 8:41 AM on April 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


The nacho intervention in animated GIF form, for our video-adverse readers.
posted by exogenous at 8:41 AM on April 10, 2012 [10 favorites]


What do you call a subway fight that you didn't stop?

Nacho intervention.
posted by griphus at 8:44 AM on April 10, 2012 [21 favorites]


No that isn't what I call it.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:45 AM on April 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


Zen & the Art of Stopping NYC Subway Fights

1. Take a breath.
2. Tension is who you think you should be. Eating nachos is who you are.
3. Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and eat nachos.
posted by Fizz at 8:45 AM on April 10, 2012 [9 favorites]


The "doo doo doo just standin' here eatin' chips doo doo doo" look on the guy's face is priceless.

Looks like he has a chip on his shoulder.
posted by hal9k at 8:46 AM on April 10, 2012 [11 favorites]


This all I could think of....
posted by GavinR at 8:46 AM on April 10, 2012


Maybe we could send him to the Mideast as a sort of peace envoy, set him up somewhere between Israel and Iran?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:47 AM on April 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Looks like he has a chip on his shoulder.

Great, now I am picturing an alternate scenario where the guy had the crap beaten out of him by both parties, died, and then Horatio Caine had to be called in from Florida to solve the mystery and...
posted by griphus at 8:49 AM on April 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


He's the hero New York deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero, he's a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Snackman.

Tangentially, if you're familiar with Christian Bale's early career, I like this variant:
He's the newsboy New York deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So he's going to Santa Fe.
then Horatio Caine had to be called in from Florida to solve the mystery and...

is pushed in front of a train by Detective John Kelly.
posted by kmz at 8:54 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I broke up a subway fight one time. BY DANCING.

I was riding between Times Square and 72nd St. on the 2 train, when a subway performer came in, put down his jukebox, and started dancing. He did some... uh... popping & locking (?), and then used the bars to swing himself around, hang upside down, do cool flips &c. He had some completely inoffensive music on, and a buddy there to clap in time. It was actually a pretty cool show.

He passed the hat (bag, whatever), left the subway car. A woman at one end of the car held up her Bible, and started shouting about how what he had just did was a sin. She was going on and on about it.

Eventually, another guy challenged her, saying something like "Nobody wants to hear your preaching." They started getting into it. She was yelling "God's gonna punish him and punish you!" He was yelling "Oh, I'm sooooo scared! Just stop it!" She said some shit about how he must have been raised. He said "Don't you talk about my family!" They really started having it out. Getting in faces, and whatever.

So another guy next to the woman says, "You know, the Book also says, 'Judge not lest ye be judged.'" She was, uh, distinctly unhappy to have the Bible's words turned against her. They started getting into a Biblical argument, as Guy #2 pointed out that while the performer may have been breaking the law on the subway, he was not breaking the law in the Bible. From 72nd Street to 116th Street, and the argument was still raging, and getting more and more heated. The mood on the car was tense.

THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO DO.

I threw my backpack over my shoulders, and walked into the center of the fray, getting between them.

"All right! All right! All right!" I yelled. They stopped yelling. Everybody in the subway turned to look at me. "Look, I'm gonna settle this; I'm gonna dance!" Which is when I start dancing like my life fucking depended on it. Doing some remedial-ass popping & locking, swinging around really really poorly on the pole, failing to do a pull-up, humming Abba or something. Like I meant it. The entire car (well, except the one woman) burst into laughter and applause. Tension: gone.

"Just remember folks," I yelled, "I love you, and Jesus loves you too!" I blew kisses to both sides of the car, as the train pulled to a stop at 125th and I bowed and backed out.
posted by davidjmcgee at 8:55 AM on April 10, 2012 [256 favorites]


david = my new hero.
posted by Fizz at 8:56 AM on April 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


Wow, thanks for reposting direct link, jsturgill. I couldn't watch it on gawker this morning nor could I watch it via the original post.

So, let's just say that that chip guy could now be the most eligible bachelor in NYC after Sanchez and Tebow. In fact, as a non-sportsfan, I would much rather date a mellow chip eater. Call me, chip guy!!!

Also, I remember griphus's story too. And more recently than 2 yrs ago..I think.

Anyway, chip guy. Chip guy. I ride the train to east new york every day and see some hairy things. I need you!!
posted by bquarters at 8:58 AM on April 10, 2012


A man after my own heart.
posted by SNACKeR at 9:00 AM on April 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


"Sipping tea I stopped the war." --my zen master.
posted by antinomia at 9:06 AM on April 10, 2012 [6 favorites]


David: there was a similar story I saw once where a woman interrupted a preacher on the subway by singing show tunes. The preacher started screaming that she was possessed and tried to perform an exorcism; the woman then switched to singing "Old Black Magic" and doing a whole Fosse-esque dance down the center of the car. The preacher got off at the next stop.

And then two stops later another preacher got on and got going, and the whole car cracked up and looked at the woman expectantly, who then once again said, "well, here we go again," and started in with show tunes. A couple of guys even harmonized with her.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:07 AM on April 10, 2012 [45 favorites]


It is like a minimalist version of well known Aikido story told by Terry Dobson.

note to self: add eat pringles to the art of non doing.
posted by snaparapans at 9:16 AM on April 10, 2012 [11 favorites]


My name's Olympia. And if any y'all need help, just call me.

A superhero and she was just delightful in Moonstruck!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:20 AM on April 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


I hate to say that I was disappointed by this video, but I was really expecting the two fighters to start munching on those damn snacks.
posted by orme at 9:23 AM on April 10, 2012


SNACK MAN!!! na na nana nana na nana nana SNACK MAN!

*CRUNCH*
posted by daHIFI at 9:28 AM on April 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


Why does everyone see nachos? I see pringles.

This is the nightmare of dramatic "gopher" all over again.
posted by Bonzai at 9:30 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


As a pretty big (nonviolent) dude, I've done the same in the DC subway (minus the chips of course). Being DC, the fight was going on while both parties continued power-walking to the escalator. It's hard to continue engaging with somebody when you have to peer around another party to see them.
posted by postel's law at 9:31 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


The pants down method is better.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:34 AM on April 10, 2012 [32 favorites]


The "doo doo doo just standin' here eatin' chips doo doo doo" look on the guy's face is priceless
I saw it as, "We all know exactly what the fuck I'm doing here so lets just chill out a bit and everyone can go home".

It seems like he makes eye contact with the woman a couple of times and then when the situation is de-escalated turns around and keeps an eye on the dude.

The physical embodiment of "Really? Fighting? Please"
posted by fullerine at 9:35 AM on April 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


I was going to post Dobson's Aikido surprise, so I'll just have to go with 77-year-old A. J. Ayer standing up to Mike Tyson.

Good on you, potato-chip guy.
posted by Zed at 9:36 AM on April 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


A. J. Ayer standing up to Mike Tyson

Ayer: "And I am the former Wykeham Professor of Logic. We are both pre-eminent in our field; I suggest we talk about this like rational men."

That really seems like an unfair fight to me. It's as if hes saying, "I'm the fastest sprinter on earth, Mike, and I challenge you to a foot race!" Instead of talking rationally, they should have done something neutral, like rewired a lamp or something.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:43 AM on April 10, 2012 [27 favorites]


Broke up a fight just earlier, sadly minus the snacking. This thread cheered me up. Thanks as ever MeFi.
posted by yoHighness at 9:48 AM on April 10, 2012


The pants down method is better.

The speed of that man's (the depantser) thought process is just amazing. I never could have come up with such a quick means of defusing the situation without escalating it in that short amount of time!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:58 AM on April 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


I saw how many comments this thread had and was totally certain the answer was going to be "pull the emergency stop", and I couldn't wait to see the fight I was (ironically) sure was happening in here.

Pleasant surprise, this.
posted by penduluum at 10:02 AM on April 10, 2012


Uh, yeah, I think it bears repeating that the man in this fight was presumably stalking the woman, given she keeps yelling at him to "stop following [her]" and he's still talking like he's asking her out for a date. I'm not saying violence is the best solution to that, but I don't think he's necessarily an innocent victim here.
posted by Drexen at 10:37 AM on April 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


penduluum: "I saw how many comments this thread had and was totally certain the answer was going to be "pull the emergency stop", and I couldn't wait to see the fight I was (ironically) sure was happening in here."

I don't get why the emergency stop cord is so controversial.

Maybe they should label it "If somebody is being hurt because of the fact that the train is moving, pull this cord, the train will stop moving, and you will be stuck wherever the train happens to be at that time."

It's verbose, but seems to sum things up.... Why do people find this so complicated?
posted by schmod at 11:23 AM on April 10, 2012


I'm not sure schmod, it seems pretty easy to me: hit the button if someone on the train smells bad or you miss your stop. Simple!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:26 AM on April 10, 2012


It's hard to be an intimidating bad-ass motherfucker with your pants around your ankles.

I just showed that to my son who has troubles with bullies. Three times because he thought it was the best thing he'd ever seen.
posted by double block and bleed at 11:28 AM on April 10, 2012


Here's a 383-comment MeTa on the emergency stop cord. Enjoy!
posted by griphus at 11:29 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


snaparapans: "It is like a minimalist version of well known Aikido story told by Terry Dobson.

note to self: add eat pringles to the art of non doing.
"

Wouldn't that be the art of nom doing?
posted by Splunge at 11:56 AM on April 10, 2012 [11 favorites]


> I'm not saying violence is the best solution to that, but I don't think he's necessarily an innocent victim here.

Yup. I hear him saying "I'm trying to ask her out, take her for dinner" at the end. It's noisy and I might be mishearing it. But even so, it's a good way to handle it -- stop the kicking via the use of salty snacks, then keep the two people separated.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:58 AM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Here's a 383-comment MeTa on the emergency stop cord. Enjoy!

I forgot that one! It was a good one. But strangely enough, it does not include my favorite comment ever about the emergency stop cord: I heard if you pull it then lots of candy comes out of the ceiling and a parade happens
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:37 PM on April 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


SNACK MAN!!! na na nana nana na nana nana SNACK MAN!

You misspelled 'nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom'.
posted by Anything at 12:52 PM on April 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


We're kids, we're driving around drinking, some other kids flip us off, or maybe they didn't do anything but Bob cuts them into the curb anyways, we all pile out of the car, run up to theirs. Bob and Scott are yelling into the window, barking loud, being all totally bad-ass, but almost immediately the kids in the car are looking at me, all like wtf, because I was between and a bit behind Bob and Mike and I'm taller than either but anyways I've got my thumbs in my ears and waving my fingers and sticking out my tongue -- it stopped everything dead, it's just so hard to be tough guys when one of your guys is goofing that way, my buddies were awfully disappointed but I wasn't, we got back into Bob's car and drove off into the summer night.
posted by dancestoblue at 1:25 PM on April 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


Yeah, the guy getting hit was being a creeper. Either way the chips guy did an excellent job of deescalating the situation. I don't think he was trying to protect the guy or anything, I think he just realized this was about to get really ugly and something needed to be done. Good on him!
posted by OsoMeaty at 2:20 PM on April 10, 2012


jamesdmcgee, I'd like to think you're the guy who recently broke up a screaming fight between two mothers on the Red Line in Boston -- one that had caused two small children to weep in terror -- by suddenly running up the aisle playing the harmonica.

It was amazing, and, I have to admit, it was pretty uplifting under the circumstances. I got a little video of it, but it wasn't very good-quality. Perhaps that's for the best -- the instigator was a black woman who seemed genuinely unhinged, and the other woman and her children were white. I didn't like the apparent racial politics of the situation, and I didn't want it to be a viral video. In any case, I hope those kids got some counseling. The world does not need two more gently raised white children who are terrified of public transportation.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:34 PM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Depantser guy is my new hero. That was amazing.
posted by Space Kitty at 2:38 PM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm not saying violence is the best solution to that, but I don't think he's necessarily an innocent victim here.

Victim, aggressor, who knows the full story? Stop the fight and sort it out when people aren't hitting each other. Fire fighters don't ask who's house it is when they go to a fire.
posted by bonehead at 2:52 PM on April 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


All well and good, but did anyone else notice that Depantser guy is a rather big feller? Pulling down the punk's pants was a way to get his attention.

I'm assuming mental illness, but are there environments in N. America where persistent aggressive pursuit of a woman who is obviously not interested common? Do they expect the woman to suddenly change her mind? The worst that I've seen in public here was a young obviously uneducated man hitting on a university coed, but that ended after she started replying in monosyllables.
posted by porpoise at 4:38 PM on April 10, 2012


....Huh. Now that I've seen the video, I'm wondering why the woman who also came over and was telling the guy "no, dude, at the next stop get out of this car and go into another car" didn't also get some love. Because ultimately, she did a hell of a lot more than snackman.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:39 PM on April 10, 2012 [12 favorites]


Also:

I'm assuming mental illness, but are there environments in N. America where persistent aggressive pursuit of a woman who is obviously not interested common?

As a couple of VERY popular threads in here will attest, yes.

Do they expect the woman to suddenly change her mind?

Yes, they do.

The worst that I've seen in public here was a young obviously uneducated man hitting on a university coed, but that ended after she started replying in monosyllables.

Sometimes even that doesn't stop some guys.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:40 PM on April 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


I don't live anywhere big enough to warrant a subway system, but I was sitting at the bus stop once when a guy quietly threatened to break my nose unless I sat and had a conversation with him. To anyone who wasn't paying close attention it would've looked like we were just sitting and having a conversation, and if I hadn't been too afraid to do anything about it (guy was like twice my size), I'm sure I would have looked like I was being crazy and aggressive for no reason. (Not that I would have hit him, although that sounds REALLY satisfying, but I probably would have started yelling at him to leave me alone, and moved to another bench.) IME there are far more creepy assholes in public than there are schizophrenics, and the schizophrenics are rarely as consistent/coherent as this woman. From what I've heard, public harassment is even worse in NYC than it is here so I'd bet dollars to donuts this guy was being a creeper.

Chip guy still has a pretty awesome tactic though. I wonder if it would work if a smaller person tried it?
posted by purplecrackers at 4:52 PM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


PO-TATE-OWNED.
posted by ShutterBun at 5:09 PM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


are there environments in N. America where persistent aggressive pursuit of a woman who is obviously not interested common?

yes, it is mostly limited to one neighborhood called The Entire Goddamn World.
posted by elizardbits at 5:16 PM on April 10, 2012 [28 favorites]


The worst that I've seen in public here was a young obviously uneducated man hitting on a university coed, but that ended after she started replying in monosyllables.

If you're a guy (and your male friends aren't assholes) you probably don't get to see this stuff firsthand unless you're constantly out and about among strangers and aren't tuning out everything one generally tunes out living in a city full of people. I live in NYC and I have never actually seen a dude catcall a woman or otherwise be lewd. However, every single woman I know, NYC or not, has been (and continues to be) harassed in public repeatedly.

Here's an 800+ comment thread about street harassment. If you want a summary: it's happening everywhere and it's happening constantly.
posted by griphus at 6:21 PM on April 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


This video makes me embarrassed to admit that the most creative uses I've ever come up with for Pringles is making a duck face or commenting "I just love eating these tiny saddles!"
posted by 4ster at 7:11 PM on April 10, 2012


I don't care if he's Batman, Jesus Christ or some reincarnation of Buddah; NO FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED ON THE SUBWAY, NO EXCEPTIONS.
posted by humanfont at 7:17 PM on April 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm just happy that it's landscape mode.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:20 PM on April 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


> I'm just happy that it's landscape mode.

People who take video of shit going down with their smartphone in portrait mode are very bad people and need to be sent to reeducation camps.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:22 PM on April 10, 2012


Predictably, the internet has found our snacking zen master. His name is Charles Sonder and he's "an architect and Brooklyn resident." He found out about his fame from his mother, who texted him this morning with "Hey snackman."

15 minutes start... now.
posted by swerve at 9:33 PM on April 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Now I'm hungry for cheddar Pringles.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:42 PM on April 10, 2012


It's a very good example of de-escalation, but it's not an example of non-violent dadaism - violence was very much implied. Snacks are good, being a head taller than either combatant with a solid build is better. If you're big, you don't need to threaten or say anything, just put yourself in the middle, and let them work it out. Their option is to get you out of the way, or continue their fight through you. Nobody wants to be the one to make the big guy drop his chips, because he's already annoyed, so the fight stops.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:08 AM on April 11, 2012 [6 favorites]


Wouldn't that be the art of nom doing?

No, Splunge, "nom doing" is the art of sitting meditation while chanting and eating pringles...

n-Om, n-Om, n-Om...

But, we have just seem, many years of this type of practice on a daily basis, has practical applications, at least on the subway.
posted by snaparapans at 7:18 AM on April 11, 2012


Buy that man a blue helmet, then turn it upside down and fill it with nachos.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 8:33 AM on April 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


snaparapans: "Wouldn't that be the art of nom doing?

No, Splunge, "nom doing" is the art of sitting meditation while chanting and eating pringles...

n-Om, n-Om, n-Om...

But, we have just seem, many years of this type of practice on a daily basis, has practical applications, at least on the subway.
"

If you glom a stack instead of one at a time do you get hit with a stick?
posted by Splunge at 10:11 AM on April 11, 2012


Why do you think Snackman only ate one at a time?

He learned the hard way.
posted by snaparapans at 11:05 AM on April 11, 2012


Meet Charles Sonder, Chips-Eating Subway Hero a.k.a. Snackman.
posted by ericb at 1:23 PM on April 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


EmpressCallipygos: a woman interrupted a preacher on the subway by singing show tunes.

Dammit, I am certain that I read that story here on MetaFilter--possibly as a comment. I can't find it now.
posted by tzikeh at 1:24 PM on April 11, 2012


Oh, man, he sounds awesome. "I'm a meme?" Welcome to your 15 minutes, Snackman. I hope it treats you kindly; you deserve it.
posted by rtha at 3:40 PM on April 11, 2012


Snack on, gentle traveler, snack on.
posted by arcticseal at 12:33 AM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


What were you eating?
A stack of Cheddar Pringles that my friend had shared with me. The bag in my hand was Gummi Bears.

Adorable.
posted by like_neon at 4:44 AM on April 12, 2012


Oh man, I would slaughter untold millions for some cheddar pringles right now. Luckily for humanity I can just go down to the bodega, though.
posted by elizardbits at 6:02 AM on April 12, 2012


A long time ago I was on an evening train, going home to my folks. It was quite empty and most people were sitting well separated and on their own. Mostly women, but a couple of chaps. I noticed another chap come in and sit next to a woman - noticed because there was plenty of space he could have chosen that wasn't next to someone. He started talking and she responded in mono-syllables - but he was getting agitated. Another chap noticed and moved across the carriage to sit down opposite, and creepy chap moved on.

Unfortunately he only moved on to sit next to another woman. At some point it was my turn - I copied the first lady's mono-syllable responses and hoped he'd move on. At this point the train conductor came in, and one of the chaps in the carriage had a word with the conductor.

He made sure creepy chap was focused on him, making sure to engage him if he drifted back to any passenger. This was despite the fact that creepy chap was clearly getting agitated, and at more than one point creepy chap made threats to the conductor. The conductor went out of the carriage (I found out later to arrange for the police to meet the train at a big station), and came back to spend the journey distracting creepy chap.

I think both the conductor and the chap (who sat opposite at one point) made sure that creepy chap didn't escalate in a way that was barely noticable at the time. I'm very grateful to both of them (though I doubt I was actually in any danger).
posted by SuckPoppet at 9:01 AM on April 12, 2012


Snackman Gets A NYT Profile.
posted by ericb at 1:58 PM on April 13, 2012


EmpressCallipygos: a woman interrupted a preacher on the subway by singing show tunes.

The showtunes versus subway preacher story is from a livejournal post from 2004; you can read it here.
posted by Fretful Porpentine at 7:28 PM on April 16, 2012


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