Sniff first,

October 16, 2001 5:30 PM

Sniff first, then check with the sheriff. Now what would you do if you received a black lace thong in an anonymous letter? Suspect anthrax or is Sadie Hawkins Day coming up?
posted by Geo (21 comments total)

Am I color-blind or does a black lace thong look dramatically different than a bunch of white powder in a faded yellow envelope? Everyone involved in this story seems like an idiot: the sheriff for deeming it a bio-hazard, the press for reporting it, and the menopausal woman who didn't capitalize on her last chance for sex.
posted by bloggboy at 5:36 PM on October 16, 2001

When will Metafilter regulars get their own secret admirers? I'm sure many of us are much more crush-worthy than that bloke, from the sounds of him!
posted by rushmc at 5:41 PM on October 16, 2001

"Earlier today, a man was arrested for sneezing on a subway. He was apprehended by hazmat-suit weilding police and the subway was promptly evacuated. Tests were ordered for all 5393 people in subway stations, on subway cars, or dining in any 'Subway' restaurant in a 3 mile radius. Witnesses waiting for their tests were quoted as saying 'OHMIGODOHMIGODWEREALLGONNADIE.' and other non-sensical jibberish. The man, who will remain nameless, is being held on 5 counts of bioterrorism. 'He sneezed 4 more times in the cop car.' report police.
posted by starduck at 5:48 PM on October 16, 2001

Heres a jpg image of the letters to Brokaw and Daschel.
posted by stbalbach at 5:53 PM on October 16, 2001

I didn't know Anthrax smelled like fish.
I wonder if it tastes like chicken.
posted by chokersandwich at 5:56 PM on October 16, 2001

Unfortunately one piece of advice people are hearing on tv and on the radio is "be suspicious of suspicious email" - hell, most of my damn email is suspicious looking! Damn marketers making their envelopes look personal, odd packaging on crap I buy on ebay....

Anyway - so while people /are/ getting anthrax in the mail, there are also folks whose anthrax-o-meters are set way too sensitively. I don't think they're dumb, I think they're overly cautious.
posted by artlung at 6:16 PM on October 16, 2001

Silk and satin, leather and lace
Black panties with an anthrax face

-with apologies to Steve Miller

Actually, I hate Steve Miller for making me know that stupid song. No apologies for you!!
posted by Kafkaesque at 7:00 PM on October 16, 2001

"menopausal woman who didn't capitalize on her last chance for sex"? bloggboy, I'm gonna assume you're 13. The guy who got the panties was so spooked by the suggestion of sex that he's gonna die a virgin.

If *you* assumed a black thong contained anthrax, would you sniff it?

The woman who mailed her thong was trying to get a dead-brain male to pay attention to her attentions. I'm quite sure she'll know better after this...and I hope next time she'll focus on somebody who's actually alive.

Everybody else involved in this incident is a moron.

Kafkaesque, you made my day. No apologies to Steve Miller!
posted by realjanetkagan at 7:59 PM on October 16, 2001

Where does it say that the woman was menopausal? She might as well be a 21-year old. It may be hard for you snotnoses to swallow, but some of old guys are very popular with the young ladies..
posted by knutmo at 12:35 AM on October 17, 2001

Hmm.

Not exactly on-topic, but...

I'd never heard of Sadie Hawkins Day, but in his piece Violin Time, Ken Campbell says that Stephen Hawking has another computerised voice, a Southern Belle, that he uses at parties. This voice is called "Sadie" apparantly, and Campbell refers to the Great Man as "Sadie Hawking" throughout. Since the same piece involves Campbell's part-possession by a Cathar Troubadour mixed up with a similarly possessed ex-CIA man called (I think) Jack, perhaps the Sadie thing should be taken with a pinch of salt.

Can anyone confirm or absolutely deny?
posted by Grangousier at 5:28 AM on October 17, 2001

(Shockingly enough, women can have sex after menopause!)
posted by rodii at 5:54 AM on October 17, 2001

How do you know?
posted by gleemax at 6:34 AM on October 17, 2001

Sadie Hawkins day
posted by fakenamex at 7:03 AM on October 17, 2001

that was suppossed to be a link: http://www.lil-abner.com/sadiehawk.html
posted by fakenamex at 7:05 AM on October 17, 2001

Do they still have Sadie Hawkins days or dances? They were an annual high school event in the 60s when it was not socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out. I suppose every day is Sadie Hawkins day now.
posted by Geo at 7:43 AM on October 17, 2001

How do you know?

It's a gigolo thing--you wouldn't understand. ;)
posted by rodii at 8:38 AM on October 17, 2001

They had Sadie Hawkins dances when I was in high school... 85-89, so I imagine they still have them. Good thing they had them too, because I had all the game of a particularly shy agoraphobic. One of my best lines: "Would you dance to like?"

Wait a minute! that's 12 years ago!

I'm getting all old and shit! When did this happen?? Why wasn't I informed?!
posted by Kafkaesque at 8:51 AM on October 17, 2001

I'm getting all old and shit!

I know what you mean. Mind you, I was young and shit, too. May be getting senile, but at least I'm consistent.
posted by Grangousier at 9:09 AM on October 17, 2001

And continent, too!
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:18 AM on October 17, 2001

Ours wasn't called a Sadie Hawkins dance, but we had it... the only place I've seen it called one is at Davenport College, a few years back.
posted by dagnyscott at 9:41 AM on October 17, 2001

We had Prom. Do the kids still do that one?
posted by Hildago at 9:54 AM on October 17, 2001