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My god! There's blood everywhere!
May 1, 2012 3:46 PM   Subscribe

You're walking through the woods. There's no one around and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him: Shia LeBoeuf
posted by sarastro (35 comments total) 32 users marked this as a favorite

 
How do you sneak up on someone when you've gnawed off your own leg? Hopping is pretty loud.
posted by nathancaswell at 3:55 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


How do you sneak up on someone when you've gnawed off your own leg? Hopping is pretty loud.

In the time it has taken you to ask this question, Shia LaBeouf has eaten your left arm.
posted by Tomorrowful at 3:57 PM on May 1, 2012 [7 favorites]


ACTUAL CANNIBAL: Shia LeBoeuf
posted by The Whelk at 3:57 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


We're all just tasty morsels to him.
posted by tommasz at 3:58 PM on May 1, 2012


I always thought it was pronounced "La Boof".
posted by delmoi at 3:59 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was waiting so hard for this to show up here.

There's an animation for the song (it doesn't really add much). Also, his wikipedia page was temporarily changed to classify him as an 'actual cannibal'.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 4:00 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Taking time off from stalking comics journalists, obviously.
posted by Artw at 4:01 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


I guess I have to wiki this "SHEE-a la-BEEF"
posted by clvrmnky at 4:05 PM on May 1, 2012


La-BUFF.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:07 PM on May 1, 2012


Sorry, the silly-song-with-nonsense-celebrity-tie-in-song championship is still held by Britney's Silver Can.
posted by benito.strauss at 4:08 PM on May 1, 2012 [2 favorites]


This might be the worst thing i have ever heard
posted by PinkMoose at 4:12 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


So, does the song's protagonist now assume the role of feral homicidal maniac since he vanquished Shia?
posted by Burhanistan at 4:14 PM on May 1, 2012


However, the Britney song expresses tragedy in ways that I could never explain.
posted by PinkMoose at 4:14 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


La-BUFF.

Than it's different from every other LeBoeuf I've ever heard of. They go by La Beef.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 4:15 PM on May 1, 2012


Maybe your friends are French. He's Cajun-Jewish.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:17 PM on May 1, 2012


La-BUFF.

It's French. ("The beef.") It is pronounced Luh Boof, where the oo is like in book. (Unless you're Scottish or something, and then it's like food.)
posted by Sys Rq at 4:18 PM on May 1, 2012


Wow, it's like a parody of a sophomoric song by Sparks.
posted by Nomyte at 4:24 PM on May 1, 2012


So, does the song's protagonist now assume the role of feral homicidal maniac since he vanquished Shia?

I like to imagine that the Shia song tells the true story of this video.
posted by FatherDagon at 4:26 PM on May 1, 2012


"Thank God for meat!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:26 PM on May 1, 2012


I am not sure what the hell I just listened to or what damage it may have done to my brain, but I was amused.

Eating all the ~bodieeeeeess~
posted by cmyk at 4:43 PM on May 1, 2012


Usually, Google explains these things to me, but...WTF??
posted by MtDewd at 5:08 PM on May 1, 2012


It's French. ("The beef.") It is pronounced Luh Boof, where the oo is like in book. (Unless you're Scottish or something, and then it's like food.)

See, this is why his name bugs me. It's LaBeouf. That's not the same as boeuf (beef). I always want to pronounce it like boeuf, but it's just ... not ... right ...
posted by mykescipark at 5:17 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


At 20, Shia LaBeouf (it's pronounced Shy-ah LaBuff) is already an accomplished actor with a lengthy résumé.

Shia Saide LaBeouf (pronounced /ˈʃaɪ.ə ləˈbʌf/ SHY-ə lə-BUFF; born June 11, 1986) is an American actor, voice actor, and comedian.

"Hi, I'm Shia La-BUFF, and I'm hosting Saturday Night Live."
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 5:26 PM on May 1, 2012


I can't believe I just heard someone harmonize "stab it in his kidneys." Well done.
posted by Rodrigo Lamaitre at 5:35 PM on May 1, 2012 [2 favorites]


Actually the best celebrity nonsense song is this song about Bjork
posted by KirTakat at 5:59 PM on May 1, 2012 [3 favorites]


Note to self: Shia LeBoeuf is NOT a black woman.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:05 PM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


There was some weirdness when I clicked on the link, and the ghostly words "Shia LaBoeuf" followed my mouse cursor for a few minutes while I did other things in other applications. He knows.
posted by breath at 9:04 PM on May 1, 2012


It's LaBeouf. That's not the same as boeuf (beef).

I had never noticed that until you pointed it out -- in my mind, I'd always read it as 'boeuf' and mentally pronounced it accordingly. (I don't believe I've ever spoken his name out loud.)

Huh.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:32 AM on May 2, 2012


Or Sleepy LaBeef as Mark Kermode calls him
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:52 AM on May 2, 2012


No, no, no.

It goes, "You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise..."

Sheesh. Kids today.
posted by aurelian at 6:22 AM on May 2, 2012


See, this is why his name bugs me. It's LaBeouf. That's not the same as boeuf (beef).

Yeah, but Shia himself repeatedly said in interviews that his name translates to "Thank God for beef."

And do you really want to make him angry by disputing him?....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:44 AM on May 2, 2012


Actually, what I read is that his grandmother changed the spelling of her name from "La Boof" to "La Beouf", or something like that.
posted by delmoi at 12:43 PM on May 2, 2012


God, the second person view makes this total video games, doesn't it? I want more

Bruce Willis' Haunted Castle

Meryl Streep's Dangerous Web

The Pit And The Pendulum And Robert Downey Jr.
posted by The Whelk at 12:51 PM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also this really sounds like that old radio series that was on This American Life or RadioLab recently, a second person told radio drama called something like YOU ARE ...and it would have "You" in various perils like "You are hanging off the cliff by one hand, pirates in pursuit..." and a new dangerous situation every week or so.
posted by The Whelk at 5:25 PM on May 2, 2012


Whoa, it is La Beouf. Weird.

And, also, it's Sabrina Le Beauf who played Sondra Huxtable.

WTF, BEEFS???
posted by Sys Rq at 5:35 PM on May 2, 2012


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