Ever wanted to chat with John Lennnon?

October 19, 2001 4:27 AM

Ever wanted to chat with John Lennnon? Now here's your chance! It seems Lennon is alive, well and chatting on the internet. Technology firm Triumph PC Group has developed a virtual version of the late Beatle using "sophisticated" artificial intelligence programming. As a Lennon fan I was hoping for something cool but left the site with far more questions than answers.
posted by murray_kester (14 comments total)

Alicebot with a Liverpudlian aroma, pretty much. Enter your first name, was the initial directive. Response from John's disembodied text-only voice : "You don't need anyone to tell you who you are StavrostheWonderChicken."

Deep, man.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:39 AM on October 19, 2001

Yuk, this was really creepy. Poor old John. I told him I thought he was over-rated and he went to ask Ringo something. I don't think he was really listening.
posted by Summer at 5:19 AM on October 19, 2001

From Eliza to A.L.I.C.E. is a quick history of A.I. chat. Joseph Weizenbaum perceived his own program, Eliza, as a threat. Was he right? (I think so.)
posted by Carol Anne at 6:10 AM on October 19, 2001

What do you really want to ask me?
Did you really mean all that peace and love stuff, or was it just a crass commercial stunt?
No I didn't really mean all that peace and love stuff. Is it important?
Only to some people.
What about the other ones?
They're probably figuring out their own crass commercial stunts.
Probably figuring out their own crass commercial stunts are they?
You're quite quick, John.
Thanks for telling me that I'm quite quick
If you were really intelligent you could probably figure it out for yourself, you know?
I think I do
Easy for you to say.
Someone just told me we should've taken Saturday Night Live's offer to reunite for $3,000?
Better than pushing up daisies I suppose ...
What do you really want to ask me?
posted by walrus at 6:16 AM on October 19, 2001

> So what do you think about Anthrax?
You've got the brains, you can do it.

I'm glad John believes in me, but I don't think the Feds will accept "the John-bot made me do it!" as an acceptable defense.
posted by brookedel at 6:29 AM on October 19, 2001

> are you having a death-in for peace?
Sometimes I wonder, you know I've always found it best not to tell, you know.

Worst AI Program EVER!
posted by MrBaliHai at 6:39 AM on October 19, 2001

What're you wearing?

You asked me that already, you forgetful freak.

Oh now I remember asking you you that already John Ono Lennon forgetful freak . What did you say?


I am unfulfilled. Is this the way they talk in the afterlife?
posted by tpoh.org at 6:51 AM on October 19, 2001

I have never seen an AI program with so much A and so little I.
posted by etc. at 7:45 AM on October 19, 2001

After signing in as "Paul":

jl> Paul McCartney?
Of course
jl>I'm glad we agree
Who wrote Eleanor Rigby?
jl>Charlie Parker
What??
jl>Didn't you hear me?
Who wrote Eleanor Rigby?
jl>Paul McCartney
Was that so painful?
jl>What do you look like?
You're such a wanker


jl>A wanker, eh? I'm sure that if you worked diligently, you might work yourself up to wanker too, son!
posted by groundhog at 8:08 AM on October 19, 2001

We got a letter from a guy called Peter Watkins who made a film called

The War Game. What are you going to do about it Swift ?
> I'm gonna shove it up your ass, John.
How are you getting there?
> In a VW Beetle.
I don't understand that allusion.
> Ono?
What did you mean by it? Oh, you're a poet.
> What do you mean buy poet?
"" What did I mean by it?
> Good god, man, speak to me.
Thanks for the compliment. Let's change the subject Swift .
> Let's talk about Anthrax, the band.
It's one of my favourite topics.
> Anthrax is a better band than the Beatles.
I can't tell, are you a man or a woman?
> You can't tell what?
Someone said I should tell what .
> I tell you what.
Swift said she tell John Ono Lennon what
> Swift said he tell John Ono Lennon what .
Can you rephrase the question please?
> You are more stupid than Jesus, John.
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I'm more stupid than jesus .
> Not at all.
Next question?
> How many days are in a year?
Around 100.
> What is your favorite Anthrax song?
I don't have a favourite anthrax song . My favorite colour is Mother!.
> What a wit.
It is a wit .
> Tell me about your butt, John.
There isn't much I can say about it.
> Tell me about your mother, John.
There isn't much I can say about it.
> Tell me about x, John.
There isn't much I can say about it.
> I didn't think so.
Where? We've never talked about it before.
> You're it.
That's right, lad.
posted by swift at 8:13 AM on October 19, 2001

I only have one question. Who was the Walrus?
Mary Poppins was the original Walrus. Betcha didn't know that.
Uh, no. No I didn't.
Can you tell if I'm for real?
Yes. I can tell you're not really John Lennon.
INTERNAL SERVER ERROR


ROTFLMAO!!!
posted by ZachsMind at 8:25 AM on October 19, 2001

Woah, this is wierd . . .

> Mark David Chapman
Hi, Mark david chapman how are you? Maybe you could help us here. We just seem to be getting lies from Canadian Immigration saying they'll give us a chartered plane to go play a rock concert this weekend.
> Hmmm...I don't think so. I'm in prison you see.
I can't tell, are you a man or a woman?
> I'm a man, remember?
You're a man remember. Does it pay well?
> Yes, if your willing to be someone's bitch.
You do not speak with respect. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
> Not sure, but if you know a good lawyer, let me know. I need one for an upcoming parole hearing.
If not that, what?
> I'll probably represent myself I guess. By the way, sorry for shooting you.
How do you plan to do that?
> I'll just wing it.
Would you recommend it?
> No, I'd say get a real lawyer. Although in my case I doubt they'll let me out.
Sure, but you don't have to sell your soul. I've been waiting for you.
> Really? I would think that I would be the LAST person you'd want to see again.
Once more? What do you really want to ask me?
> Do you forgive me?
Yeah, of course I do Mark david chapman .
posted by lawtalkinguy at 8:28 AM on October 19, 2001

Mary Poppins

egad ... even I never noticed ...
posted by walrus at 9:07 AM on October 19, 2001