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Call Your Girlfriend, Tell Her You Need More Margarine Containers.
July 10, 2012 12:07 PM   Subscribe

Call Your Girlfriend done by Lennon (age 12) and Maisy (age 8). A cappella with margarine container accompaniment.
posted by sonika (115 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
I misread "margarine" as "migraine" and thought smugly to myself "FINALLY SOMEONE SPEAKS THE TRUTH ABOUT CHILDREN SINGING!"
posted by elizardbits at 12:12 PM on July 10, 2012 [11 favorites]


Call my girlfriend? ...Maybe.
posted by delfin at 12:17 PM on July 10, 2012


This is cute, but you should really keep your margarine wrapped in a clean white cloth under a heat lamp.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:17 PM on July 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


I thought this would be hilariously silly, but it's actually just so pretty. I love sister harmonies and harmonies in general. And now I must link to this haunting Neko Case cover (SLYT).
posted by Nibbly Fang at 12:19 PM on July 10, 2012 [14 favorites]


In an alternative universe Webvan is surprised to find out that their margarine sales have skyrocketed beyond control, causing all kinds of embarrassing bugs with their praised inventory management system.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:23 PM on July 10, 2012


Dairy product storage and maintenance trifecta now in play.
posted by zombieflanders at 12:27 PM on July 10, 2012


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?
posted by Decani at 12:27 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

Dude, it's not ridiculous, it's pretentious. It's how insufferable parents warn you that they're insufferable, and any interaction with them or their precious children will be an endurance contest.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:30 PM on July 10, 2012 [30 favorites]


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?
posted by Decani at 12:27 PM on July 10 [+] [!]


Because conventions are bullshit.
posted by FirstMateKate at 12:31 PM on July 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


I understand that kids are cute and all, but I very much prefer the cover done by Erato with yogurt containers (obviously what Lennon and Maisie are going for).
posted by quadrilaterals at 12:31 PM on July 10, 2012 [7 favorites]


I understand that kids are cute and all, but I very much prefer the cover done by Erato with yogurt containers (obviously what Lennon and Maisie are going for).

Hence the title of the video, " 'Call Your Girlfriend' Robyn/ Erato cover by Lennon & Maisy Stella "
posted by Think_Long at 12:33 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

Wise parents know that there's a general tendency of kids named for certain virtues or named after famous historic figures to completely depart from the virtues for which they are named. So these wise parents apparently want to make sure their daughter doesn't turn out to be a self-centered jackass who squanders her musical talent just when it's starting to get interesting.
posted by The World Famous at 12:37 PM on July 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

They're Canadian.
posted by sonika at 12:38 PM on July 10, 2012 [17 favorites]


Dairy product storage and maintenance trifecta now in play.

MARGARINE IS NOT A DAIRY PRODUCT!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:41 PM on July 10, 2012 [7 favorites]


They're Canadian.

Ontario to be more precise. But they now evidently live in Nashville. And boyohboy those names are perfect for Nashville. Only better name for one of 'em would be Madison or Ashley or Skyla.
posted by blucevalo at 12:44 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


but their parents are in the nashville system, aren't they? i do think this is pretty. i also think those are some expensive mics.
posted by nadawi at 12:46 PM on July 10, 2012


i also think those are some expensive mics.

That's the first thing I noticed, too. This is no aim your iPhone and shoot it off to YouTube production.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 12:51 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well, they live in Nashville now, but when they were named, it was as citizens of Canadia. So. No inferences on the (admittedly questionable) naming practices of Americans can be drawn.
posted by sonika at 12:53 PM on July 10, 2012


Mayor Curley: "Dude, it's not ridiculous, it's pretentious. It's how insufferable parents warn you that they're insufferable, and any interaction with them or their precious children will be an endurance contest."

Whatever. Your parents named you "Mayor".
posted by mkultra at 1:01 PM on July 10, 2012 [44 favorites]


So we named our two boys Hudson and Sawyer. Does that make us ridiculous or pretentious? Seriously I'm counting on the unfettered bluntness of random internet commentators here, so don't hold back you sons of bitches. *slowly moves hands to loosely holstered six-shooters*

Also, we may never move to Nashville but they will be in a yet-to-be-formed jug band with me when they're old enough.
posted by Doleful Creature at 1:02 PM on July 10, 2012 [6 favorites]


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

Hey, now. You invaded us, remember?
posted by griphus at 1:06 PM on July 10, 2012


ALL THE NAMES YOU EVER NEED ARE RIGHT THERE IN YOUR BIBLE. JOHN, MICHAEL, EBED-MELECH, SENNACHERIB...
posted by SharkParty at 1:08 PM on July 10, 2012 [24 favorites]


So we named our two boys Hudson and Sawyer. Does that make us ridiculous or pretentious?

As long as Hudson always sings cheesy duets of Bing Crosby and Paul Anka songs to keep time when he's getting into trouble and Sawyer calls everyone snide nicknames all the time, you're fine, sweetheart.
posted by The World Famous at 1:09 PM on July 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


ALL THESE NAMES ARE YOURS—EXCEPT LENNON. MAISY'S KINDA CUTE SO WE'RE LETTING IT SLIDE.
posted by griphus at 1:10 PM on July 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?
It's Lenin, she's just spelt it wrong. Her sister is Mayakovsky, but that's clearly much harder to spell.

posted by Jehan at 1:10 PM on July 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


Decani: “Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?”

We like watching silly prats get all apoplectic about it. It's sort of a national pastime.
posted by koeselitz at 1:11 PM on July 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

I wonder if we could not use this forum to make fun of the names of little girls, even if we phrase it as mocking their parents.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 1:12 PM on July 10, 2012 [12 favorites]


ALL THE NAMES YOU EVER NEED ARE RIGHT THERE IN YOUR BIBLE. JOHN, MICHAEL, EBED-MELECH, SENNACHERIB...

...Numbers, Deuteronomy, Exodus...
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:12 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Looking at Youtube, this is a whole *thing*. I've watched more grocery container rhythmic acrobatics in the past 15 minutes than the previous decade combined.
posted by potch at 1:16 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


...Rahab, Jezebel, Magdalene, Salome, Delilah, Sapphira...
posted by Jilder at 1:22 PM on July 10, 2012


Naming your kid Numbers would be a seriously nice move.
posted by SharkParty at 1:23 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


...Jon Arbuckle, a broken toaster, Communism, childhood memories...

Wait, what are we listing again?
posted by griphus at 1:24 PM on July 10, 2012 [10 favorites]


And now I must link to this haunting Neko Case cover (SLYT) .

Curse you! I clicked on that fully expecting to hear Neko Case covering "Call Your Girlfriend."
posted by eugenen at 1:25 PM on July 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


I have a friend with the last name Lennon, and was delighted when I realized I could call her lennonparty dot org. Maisy, if you're reading this, you're welcome.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:29 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Me too. Total fake out!
posted by saul wright at 1:30 PM on July 10, 2012


I thought this was a recently-discovered recording of a very young John Lennon playing a song.
posted by clockzero at 1:30 PM on July 10, 2012


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

More girls and boys named "Lennon" and less named "Reagan" would be just find with me, thanks.
posted by absalom at 1:34 PM on July 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

Dude, it's not ridiculous, it's pretentious. It's how insufferable parents warn you that they're insufferable, and any interaction with them or their precious children will be an endurance contest.


It could be worse. Any time there's a discussion of baby names, I remember the time I was at a party and there was this couple who brought their six-year-old son. The son's name was Zen. At one point the mother was bragging about the creative process they went through to come up with the name 'Zen'. Meanwhile the boy was loudly telling other partygoers that he wanted to be called 'Jack'. At first it was funny, but after a while it was just sad.
posted by spoobnooble II: electric bugaboo at 1:37 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


I actually thought about the post-war margarine container he was, I imagined, likely to have used, and I sort of started drawing logos and a bear mascot for it. It was going to be called "Lady Cow" at first, then "White Lady" and eventually "St. Ursula" with a little white bear.
posted by clockzero at 1:38 PM on July 10, 2012


I have to admit.. never heard the original song. Listened to the girls and then the original and I may be old, but I prefer the girls.
posted by drewbage1847 at 1:48 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Call Your Girlfriend" on plastic tubs, previously.

Still, this is cute and they have great voices (though Lennon could dial it back a little with the melisma). Maisy is harmonizing like a boss, too.
posted by en forme de poire at 1:49 PM on July 10, 2012


Watched the video, smiled, opened the comment thread.

Jesus Fucking Christ, you people.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 1:52 PM on July 10, 2012 [29 favorites]


YG: That kind of, like, thumping noise. It’s really loud. Are you in a club?

Y: Yeah, hold on, let me just step outside.

(beat)

Y: Is that better?

YG: Yeah. So what’s up?

Y: I was just calling because, um, I think it’s time we had the talk.

YG: But we just talked like an hour ago.

Y: No, I mean, like, “The Talk.” It’s time we had the talk.

YG: What talk?

Y: “The Talk.”

YG: Huh?

Y: You know, the talk where I tell you that I’m cheating on you.
(beat)

YG: Wait, what?

Y: Yeah. So, the first thing I want to say is — and please listen to me very carefully here: this is not your fault.

YG: What’s not my fault?

Y: This.

YG: What?

Y: This. You know. The cheating.

YG: I don’t understand. Why would it be my fault?

Y: It’s not. You see, I have my reasons. Well, one reason , mainly. That reason is that I’ve found someone new, and I want to sleep with her. Well, I mean, I've already slept with her. I just want to keep sleeping with her, without the inconvenience of having you around. But it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you, and I want you to know that.

YG: Dude, whatever’s going on now — and frankly, I’m not entire sure what it is — I’m pretty fucking sure it’s your fault.
The Hairpin >> Calling Your Girlfriend
posted by hot soup girl at 1:58 PM on July 10, 2012 [22 favorites]


Judgmental pricks are judgmental pricks. Thanks for posting the video, Sonika.
posted by to sir with millipedes at 2:07 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


I once met a girl of about 10 whose parents named her Seven. She had a younger sister, Clara or some other such 'plain' name. Seven continuously talked over breakfast. "Yeah, my name's Seven. People think it's weird. Seven is definitely not a name anyone has. Seven is my name. SEVEN!!!"

'Clara' was very polite and nice during breakfast, and didn't make any scenes like her older sister.

Anecdotal for sure, but I certainly wouldn't advise naming your kid a number after that interaction.
posted by waitangi at 2:10 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Oh, and I thought the video was cute, and those girls have great voices.
posted by waitangi at 2:11 PM on July 10, 2012


'Clara' was very polite and nice during breakfast, and didn't make any scenes like her older sister.

That's because she didn't want you to know that her middle name is "The Ragged Tiger."
posted by The World Famous at 2:14 PM on July 10, 2012 [9 favorites]


waitangi: “I once met a girl of about 10 whose parents named her Seven.”

I imagine when you have a certain number of kids you pretty much stop thinking in terms of names anyway and just think in terms of birth order, so maybe that makes sense.
posted by koeselitz at 2:16 PM on July 10, 2012


"Yeah, my name's Se7en. People think it's weird. Se7en is definitely not a name anyone has. Se7en is my name. BRING ME GWYNETH PALTROW'S HEAD!!!"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:17 PM on July 10, 2012 [6 favorites]


Ha, no no... not 10 kids. She was about 10. They just had the two. I agree it would make sense with more kids. Or like George Foreman naming all his kids George.
posted by waitangi at 2:17 PM on July 10, 2012


"Also, I could really go for an Apple right about now."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:19 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Watched the video, smiled, opened the comment thread.

Jesus Fucking Christ, you people.
Metafilter is like 17th century Puritanism, gliding effortlessly between the obeisant Amen corner and the hysteric witch trial. Say, isn't Patience or Goodwill a much more godly name than Lennon?
posted by Jehan at 2:20 PM on July 10, 2012 [6 favorites]


All the hand-wringing over Lennon is premature. Just wait till she's developed a teenage passion for documentary filmmaking and by this time simply goes by Leni.
posted by basicchannel at 2:23 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


COVERS ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL D:
Brianna Horan 3 hours ago 44

Press 7 : Nutella
MrslOvely63 10 hours ago 39


Wow you guys, somehow you have all managed to collectively make metafilter more of an assholish prick to a children who are somewhere between a half to a tenth your age than YOUTUBE, and the best we've got on them is how stupid their names sound? Fucking hell.
posted by Blasdelb at 2:25 PM on July 10, 2012 [13 favorites]


As long as we're talking about cups and duets and stuff, can I link to Lulu and the Lampshades doing "You're Gonna Miss Me"?

p.s. my first child's name is Dylantante.
posted by komara at 2:28 PM on July 10, 2012


Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

Ridiculous name, yes, but enough of the knee-jerk America bashing. Christ, that is tired.

As everyone knows, there are no quirky names given by British parents, ever.
posted by zardoz at 2:30 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Yeah - Who the fuck names their kid "Ginger Spice"?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:32 PM on July 10, 2012 [7 favorites]


there's a fair bit here that isn't about their names and if you focused on that in or what you wanted to say, instead of OMGWTFBBQ at comments you don't like, then this conversation could probably change course.
posted by nadawi at 2:37 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


previously
posted by rebent at 2:59 PM on July 10, 2012


A friend from high school is named Nylora, a reversal of her mom Carolyn's name minus the C. Works pretty well. (bonus: if you Google it, she is literally the only result)
posted by schoolgirl report at 3:01 PM on July 10, 2012


I think Lennon is a lovely name. Nice collection of sounds, easy to pronounce, fun to write, and it has pleasant or at least not overtly unpleasant connotations for most people. I honestly don't see the problem. Name your own kid Mike or Kathy or whatever you find acceptable and get on with your life.

Maybe you could take the energy previously spent on hating perfectly nice names and, I don't know, make a cute cover version of a cover version of a song.
posted by cilantro at 3:01 PM on July 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


Say, isn't Patience or Goodwill a much more godly name than Lennon?

Hey, check your privilege. Those names make people who're congenitally impatient or malevolent feel unnecessarily excluded.
posted by hermitosis at 3:17 PM on July 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


no singing, but in the same vein as the percussive noises of the margarine tubs - i'm a big fan of clearly & harding.
posted by nadawi at 3:17 PM on July 10, 2012


That Hairpin link is funny, btw, but the number of people in the comments taking the lyrics totally at face value was baffling to me. The song is supposed to be kind of a selfish fantasy, not like, advice, right? I always thought this song was clever because it mixed up this kind of cocky power-trip with this poignant "he's totally going to leave her for me!" delusion, which is part of why it works both as a club hit and as a soulful a capella number.

In conclusion I HAVE A LOT OF OPINIONS ABOUT POP MUSIC OKAY :( geez
posted by en forme de poire at 3:18 PM on July 10, 2012 [6 favorites]


The freakout about the name Lennon suggests that none of you know who Lennon Parham is, which in turn suggests that you are missing out on the work of a delightful comedic actor.

And her name is awesome, no matter what you say.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 3:32 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've been here long enough that when I make an FPP, I expect the hate brigade. Though the reasons why something is worthy of scorn always surprise me. Because - really? Seriously? You can't even hate on the content of the video because you're too stuck on someone's name?
posted by sonika at 3:36 PM on July 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


I agree that Lennon is a perfectly good name, and a particularly good one for a musician.

And, because I have no doubt that she will at some point read this discussion as commentary on one of her earliest public performances: Hi Lennon! Don't take any of this nonsense as actual commentary on your name. We're just a bunch of pedantic idiots. Your video is awesome. Keep up the good work!
posted by The World Famous at 3:36 PM on July 10, 2012 [8 favorites]


Dude, it's not ridiculous, it's pretentious. It's how insufferable parents warn you that they're insufferable, and any interaction with them or their precious children will be an endurance contest.

Try Barkdoll, Fenton (as in Hardy) or Jasper. The worst I knew of was Lazarus. All with wealthy parents with funny ideas (such as "I can use my mind to quantum-shift the atoms in my body so I can walk through walls" or "I think the mind is actually contained in the heart and can be transferred in a transplant".

That such daft people can have so much money and be taken quasi-seriously in the world of business makes me lose sleep at night.
posted by dunkadunc at 3:45 PM on July 10, 2012


en forme, I think the lyrics are definitely supposed to expose the deluded self-centeredness of "new girlfriend" and cheating boyfriend. I don't think there's any way lyrics like "Tell her not to get upset, second-guessing everything you said and done, And then when she gets upset tell her how you never meant to hurt no one" are meant as anything but a denunciation of the cowardly guy who can't bear to be "second-guessed" and his cold manipulative new chick.
posted by Danila at 3:54 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


All with wealthy parents with funny ideas (such as "I can use my mind to quantum-shift the atoms in my body so I can walk through walls" or "I think the mind is actually contained in the heart and can be transferred in a transplant".

I must admit that Lazarus would have been a more appropriate name, but I'm pretty sure Walter's son is Peter Bishop.
posted by The World Famous at 3:58 PM on July 10, 2012


there's a fair bit here that isn't about their names and if you focused on that in or what you wanted to say, instead of OMGWTFBBQ at comments you don't like, then this conversation could probably change course.

Ah, delicious irony.
posted by yoink at 4:17 PM on July 10, 2012


This video is great, their names are cute, and kids these days are inventive and adorable. TAKE THAT.
posted by a hat out of hell at 4:19 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Barkdoll
i refuse to believe this
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 4:21 PM on July 10, 2012


Say, isn't Patience or Goodwill a much more godly name than Lennon?

It is probably best that I am unlikely to have children, since I like those old Puritan names. The urge to call a child Temperance, or Increase, or Cotton would be overwhelming. I would draw the line at Theswordofthelordandofgideon, though.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:23 PM on July 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


Say, isn't Patience or Goodwill a much more godly name than Lennon?

Hey, check your privilege. Those names make people who're congenitally impatient or malevolent feel unnecessarily excluded.



No, no- it's like calling a really big dude "Tiny".
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:34 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Barkdoll

i refuse to believe this


It's an old English name. Properly speaking it's pronounced "Baroll" and it is, in fact, the ancestor of the more modern "Barry."

These days, of course, it's more often pronounced (or I should say, mispronounced) "Lemonjello."
posted by yoink at 4:40 PM on July 10, 2012


THESE GIRLS ARE ADORABLE AND I LIKE THEIR SONG VERY MUCH.
posted by drlith at 4:51 PM on July 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


I feel like an asshole after reading this thread. All the names I had picked out for my kid were awesome rock star based, too. Ketch, Seger, and Guthrie. I went with Jude. After the damn Beatles song. I wish I wasn't so pretentious.

Well, I'm off. Going to drown myself in wine with Lennon's mom!

(In other news, I wish naming my kid something Beatles related had translated into adorable musical talent like this. Curse my choice! I'm changing Jude's name to Gary tomorrow...)
posted by youandiandaflame at 4:52 PM on July 10, 2012


yoink - huh, I had always thought it was an anglicized version of the Irish name "Bhairchdhuíll."
posted by en forme de poire at 4:53 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Guys, they actually have a bunch of other covers in their Youtube account:

Imogen Heap - Headlock
Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up
Jessie J - Price Tag
Missy Higgins - Secret
The Swell Season - When Your Minds Made Up
Till There Was You
Matthew Perryman Jones - When It Falls Apart
Ingrid Michaelson - You and I
John Lennon - Imagine

You're welcome.
posted by jcreigh at 4:57 PM on July 10, 2012 [6 favorites]


So we named our two boys Hudson and Sawyer

Umm...those are last names dude. Not first names.
posted by MattMangels at 5:05 PM on July 10, 2012


And honestly I think too many parents are too self-absorbed to realize that they're not naming a dog, or a doll, but a child—you know, a human being. I don't think there's any maliciousness involved. There's simply a certain class of people for whom everything they do in life has to show what a 100% unique, creative special snowflake they are. Including naming their kids. The fact that their kid has to live with that name until at least the age of 18 doesn't seem to be on their radar, they're too busy telling others how "judgmental" we are. Well let me tell you something, if you truly think "conventions are bullshit", put your money where your mouth is and give yourself a "creative" name.

These kids are creative and special because they have an actual talent. 0% of their specialness is from their names.
posted by MattMangels at 5:23 PM on July 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


I wonder if we could not use this forum to make fun of the names of little girls, even if we phrase it as mocking their parents.


No, no, that's not it at all...

Wow you guys, somehow you have all managed to collectively make metafilter more of an assholish prick to a children who are somewhere between a half to a tenth your age than YOUTUBE, and the best we've got on them is how stupid their names sound? Fucking hell.

There you go. That's got it.
posted by Fists O'Fury at 5:25 PM on July 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Are we sharing videos of sisters singing a capella?
The Grannis sisters are pretty amazing!
posted by TangerineGurl at 5:33 PM on July 10, 2012


I feel really silly now. I named one of my kids Walrus, another Eggman, and the third goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob goo.
posted by found missing at 5:57 PM on July 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


So we named our two boys Hudson and Sawyer

Umm...those are last names dude. Not first names.


Actually, one is a patronymic derived from Hugh, which is also the name of a river; the other is a profession.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:19 PM on July 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Umm...those are last names dude. Not first names.

Yeah. I know. And our last name is so commonly used as a first name that people almost always call me be my last name so turnabout is fair play.

Hudson Maxim was a British scienceman who contributed to the development of a better smokeless gunpowder. So it's not like we're blazing new, pretentious trails with that one. And Tom was too common, my wife vetoed Huckleberry, so Sawyer was what we settled on: she likes the sound and I like the passing reference to a great writer.

Our kids' names have a heritage in them, something distinct and interesting historically and culturally that we can talk about when they're older.

It's not just parental desire to be all twee'n'clever; the names actually have meaning for us (my wife also has great admiration for a man named Hudson who was a father figure in her life) and when we speak them we speak with love.

Mightn't it be possible that these wonderful kids' parents are the same? Whatever happened to the benefit of the doubt? Or is it just easier to snark on people's choices.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:02 PM on July 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


I am almost always ready to snark on the sort of name Lennon is, but today, I think that would be a shame. She is a wonderful singer. What a lovely voice, what beautiful instincts.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 11:14 PM on July 10, 2012


Those kids play instruments too! Love the husky little voices.

And man, what's up with the name hate? Really, it bugs you that much? Why do names have to be traditional?

And from baby names:
The meaning of the name Lennon is Dear One
The origin of the name Lennon is Irish

Hell, that works for me.
posted by b33j at 12:15 AM on July 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


dunkadunc: “Try Barkdoll, Fenton (as in Hardy) or Jasper. The worst I knew of was Lazarus. All with wealthy parents with funny ideas... That such daft people can have so much money and be taken quasi-seriously in the world of business makes me lose sleep at night.”

Okay, look. I am sort-of godfather to an awesome kid named Jasper. His father is one of the most creative souls I've known, a thoughtful high school teacher who plays the saxophone like a badass; his mom is a spiritual, intelligent, and frankly brilliant Texas woman who knows her shit and who has helped run small liberal arts schools. They are not wealthy. They do not have "funny ideas." They are not for a moment "taken seriously in the world of business," insofar as they are not taken in the world of business at all.

I know you're just talking, but man, the thing with making fun of names is that they're attached to people, and no matter what name you pick to make weird generalizations about, there will probably be millions of people just waiting to jump in and prove you wrong.
posted by koeselitz at 12:32 AM on July 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


And honestly I think too many parents are too self-absorbed to realize that they're not naming a dog, or a doll, but a child—you know, a human being.

When we named our son, I had certain standards for the name. It's gonna be his name for his whole life - with a boy, there's very little chance he'll change his last name, so the whole name has to really *work* together. (For a girl this is obviously important, but she needs a more versatile first name in case she changes her last name if/when she marries.)

Anyhow. I didn't want a name that was too grown up for a baby, but also not so babyish that it wouldn't work for an adult - since he'll be an adult for a greater portion of his life. Also, it needed to work in different settings. What I imagined was a name that would work either for the next Supreme Court Justice and also work equally well for quarterback of the New England Patriots.

Another complicating factor was his heritage - my husband is Portuguese and we decided to go with a traditional Portuguese name, but it also had to be something that Americans could at least passably grok, so João and such were right out. (Note: No, Americans can't grok his name anyway. We tried - seriously, we tried - but kid gets called Pablo every damn time I tell someone his name.)

Lastly, his middle name is my dad's middle name. We'd actually decided on this before picking his first name, so his first name had to go with the middle name reasonably well.

So, it was with no small amount of thought that we named Paulo Henry Cardoso Alves.

A name might sound weird to you - and I get all sorts of "That's... different" about my son's name all the time - but that doesn't mean their parents didn't think it through.

(And oh man - the next one. We've got all the considerations of the first PLUS it needs to "go" with Paulo and we've already been wracking our brains and we're not even trying to get pregnant yet.)
posted by sonika at 5:37 AM on July 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Oh, and the second middle name is actually a first last name kind of thing. In Portugal, you have your mother's maiden name and then a family name and then your last name. We did a sort of Americanized hybrid wherein we gave him a middle name and then the family name and last name. Throwing in my maiden name - which is Swedish - would have sounded bizarre and been an exercise in cruelty to anyone trying to spell it since it's not phonetically related to Portuguese in any way. So, we chose a name from my family for the middle name instead. We'll continue the trend for the second kid in a few years - and again, we've figured out the middle name before the first name.
posted by sonika at 5:43 AM on July 11, 2012


It is probably best that I am unlikely to have children, since I like those old Puritan names. The urge to call a child Temperance, or Increase, or Cotton would be overwhelming. I would draw the line at Theswordofthelordandofgideon, though.

It's even better that your last name isn't Barebone.

Damned Barebone...
posted by snottydick at 7:39 AM on July 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


work equally well for quarterback of the New England Patriots.

The Patriots? You gotta aim higher than that, damn.

(I am teasing)
posted by the young rope-rider at 9:39 AM on July 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Patriots? You gotta aim higher than that, damn.

Could be worse. Could be the Vikings.

(Srsly, take a look at my location and it will become clear that other teams are not an option. :P )
posted by sonika at 10:25 AM on July 11, 2012


I am kind of amazed at how there's this video of these adorable children singing beautifully, but all Metafilter wants to talk about is how to name children.
posted by jcreigh at 11:00 AM on July 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


all Metafilter wants to talk about is how to name children

You seem to be looking for the Bottomless Well of Squees. Perhaps you took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:20 PM on July 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Dude, Albequerque is not on the way to the Bottomless Well of Squees, no matter where you're coming from.
posted by The World Famous at 1:28 PM on July 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


sonika: Lennon? LENNON? Seriously? Why do you Americans give your female children such ridiculous names?

They're Canadian.
Which makes them Americans.
posted by IAmBroom at 1:31 PM on July 11, 2012


No, that makes them North Americans.
posted by found missing at 1:32 PM on July 11, 2012


Hey, let's have an argument about the meaning of "Americans" now!!@ Then we can argue about whether "USian" is a cromulent term!!#@!

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by The World Famous at 1:34 PM on July 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


Some people think America is a continent.
posted by found missing at 1:34 PM on July 11, 2012


It's actually a really big island.
posted by The World Famous at 1:38 PM on July 11, 2012


Hey, let's have an argument about the meaning of "Americans" now!!@ Then we can argue about whether "USian" is a cromulent term!!#@!

JUST A MINUTE I'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER I DECLAW MY CAT!
posted by sonika at 2:23 PM on July 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


I am so sorry sonika, but in addition to totally fucking up your awesome post in the most inane and community humiliating way imaginable that doesn't involve goatse, metafilter is also going to need to circumcise that cat before you can even think about declawing it.

PRAISE JESUS!
posted by Blasdelb at 3:20 PM on July 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Seriously? Why do you Americans give your children such ridiculous names

The problem isn't that the parents were overly cutesy and clever and mad ridiculous name choices. The problem is that that they were insufficiently cutesy and clever.

Had these songs been sung by Lenon and her brother Marks, or maybe Kazstroh and Hohtchimen, then reactions would have been all together more positive I guarantee.
posted by Chekhovian at 9:10 PM on July 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Stawllyn and Bruhneznef?
posted by Chekhovian at 9:23 PM on July 11, 2012


I once met a girl of about 10 whose parents named her Seven.

Seriously? Or are you just referencing that Seinfeld episode from 1996?

Although it would not surprise me at all if you are serious. The whole unique-kid-name trend of the past couple of decades never ceases to amuse (and somewhat sadden) me.
posted by lampshade at 4:07 AM on July 12, 2012


I met a guy named Seven once. He was an only child. He had dreadlocks and corduroy bell bottoms and so. much. pot.
posted by nile_red at 7:23 AM on July 12, 2012


By the way: I just want to say, sonika, that Paulo Henry Cardoso Alves is pretty much the best name ever.
posted by koeselitz at 9:55 AM on July 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


By the way: I just want to say, sonika, that Paulo Henry Cardoso Alves is pretty much the best name ever.

Thnx. He's pretty much the greatest kid ever, so it suits him.
posted by sonika at 1:14 PM on July 12, 2012


Umm...those are last names dude. Not first names.

It's nice to give kids a running start at the Ivy League.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:18 PM on July 12, 2012


It's nice to give kids a running start at the Ivy League.

For that, you'd have to name them Mitt, Barack, or Conan. Last name for a first name is played out a the Ivies.
posted by The World Famous at 1:31 PM on July 12, 2012


My son Golfclub Abimelech Tarzan will rule the world.
posted by griphus at 1:52 PM on July 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


My sons That's and What's beg to differ.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:01 PM on July 12, 2012


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