Agent Scully needs a few good Gentlepersons
August 21, 2012 4:28 PM   Subscribe

Mefi's own Mightygodking takes the April Fool's joke from Comics Alliance ( previously ) to the logical next step with The League Of Extraordinary Gentlepersons: 1996.
posted by The Whelk (114 comments total) 36 users marked this as a favorite

 
I've been on a pre-broadband internet nostalgia binge lately, and this almost put me in a coma.
posted by Brocktoon at 4:33 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


The background detail of Nancy Downs being there made it for me cause, yes of course she would be.
posted by The Whelk at 4:35 PM on August 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Looks more fun than the original !
posted by Bwithh at 4:40 PM on August 21, 2012


Actually both if these do - can people/ shadowy forces persuade/ compell Moore to actually do them?
posted by Bwithh at 4:42 PM on August 21, 2012


Awesome. Just the other day, I was just thinking about an updated version of the The League from the 80s featuring David from Flight of the Navigator, Teen Wolf, Sledge Hammer!, the dwarf inventor from The Wizard, Small Wonder, and lead by Maddie from Moonlighting.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:45 PM on August 21, 2012 [6 favorites]


Moore's LOEG is pretty centered around British media, all of these are more or less US
posted by The Whelk at 4:47 PM on August 21, 2012


Also, at this point it's going to take a gorilla with a crowbar to pry him away from Mina, Allan and Orlando as the main characters. Not to mention the whole copyright thing.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 4:48 PM on August 21, 2012


Awesome. Just the other day, I was just thinking about an updated version of the The League from the 80s featuring David from Flight of the Navigator, Teen Wolf, Sledge Hammer!, the dwarf inventor from The Wizard, Small Wonder, and lead by Maddie from Moonlighting.

This is compelling (especially with an alien invasion led by The Last Starfighter, now an insane ruler in a battleship-sized flagship controlled by his spun-out nerve endings.

But surely the 1980s LOEG is Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers?
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:52 PM on August 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


a young high-functioning sociopath named Zack Morris who has the strange ability to stop the flow of time itself
a young high-functioning sociopath named Zack Morris who has the strange ability to stop the flow of time itself
a young high-functioning sociopath named Zack Morris who has the strange ability to stop the flow of time itself
a young high-functioning sociopath named Zack Morris who has the strange ability to stop the flow of time itself
a young high-functioning sociopath named Zack Morris who has the strange ability to stop the flow of time itself

posted by Sticherbeast at 4:52 PM on August 21, 2012 [9 favorites]


This does unfortunately ruin the suspense. We know that it's all right - because he's saved by the bell!
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:56 PM on August 21, 2012


I hate that fanfiction is only cool when we're doing it ironically.
posted by Sokka shot first at 4:57 PM on August 21, 2012 [6 favorites]


The sad thing is that both of these are a better approximation of contemporary narrative culture than the actual LoEG Century 2009 (a.k.a. the "Get off my lawn" issue) was.
posted by No-sword at 4:58 PM on August 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


Moore's LOEG is pretty centered around British media, all of these are more or less US

Okay, so Inspector Morse puts together a new team of Gentlepersons lead by Eddie Fitzgerald (Cracker) and including serial-killer-attempting-redemption Patsy Stone (AbFab), one-woman-vigilante Raquel Wolstenhulme (Coronation Street), untrustworthy exorcist Father Ted Crilly (Father Ted), and some guy named Tim hired from a temp agency (Spaced). Their mission? Stop a rogue agent (Danger Mouse) from opening up the Dread Doorway and unleashing a malevolent entity known as The Doctor on mankind.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:59 PM on August 21, 2012 [26 favorites]


I hate that fanfiction is only cool when we're doing it ironically.

There is nothing ironic about what's happening here.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:01 PM on August 21, 2012 [7 favorites]


Ironic what I want to write this like yesterday.
posted by The Whelk at 5:03 PM on August 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


The sad thing is that both of these are a better approximation of contemporary narrative culture than the actual LoEG Century 2009 (a.k.a. the "Get off my lawn" issue) was.
posted by No-sword at 4:58 PM on August 21 [1 favorite −] Favorite added! [!]


YES!
the 1996 one here even has a bona fide video game character - Carmen Sandiego (Tron in the 1996 is arguably kinda one too and Lisa in the 1988 one is a computer age character )
posted by Bwithh at 5:04 PM on August 21, 2012


Top Shelf needs to do a Multiverse series of LOEG comics contracted out to different writers/artists
posted by Bwithh at 5:06 PM on August 21, 2012


the 1996 one here even has a bona fide video game character - Carmen Sandiego

Lord British is M!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:11 PM on August 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


@sokka shot first

don't worry, it might not always be cool, but when it is, it's way better than anything that beardo Moore did

wait a sec, that is actually grounds for worrying
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:13 PM on August 21, 2012


The 1996 one needs Jeff Goldblum, who can program a virus to shut down any computer system. No, not his character in Independence Day. Jeff Goldblum.
posted by thecaddy at 5:18 PM on August 21, 2012 [7 favorites]


90s LOEG needs Dale Cooper trapped in the Black Lodge.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:19 PM on August 21, 2012 [12 favorites]


THEY CAN FIGHT BILLY ZANE'S CHARACTER FROM DEMON KNIGHT

GUYS

GUYS

I AM SO FUCKING AMPED LIKE

CAN YOU TELL
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:20 PM on August 21, 2012 [11 favorites]


I didn't get like half of this. AIEE! I AM RETROACTIVELY OUT OF TOUCH!
posted by Zed at 5:24 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Fortunately, this is just before the Buffy event horizon, as the whole thing could so easily be capsized by the Whedonite faction. I mean, you could have Buffy, but just Buffy (...in none too shabby Kristy Swanson form, no less).
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:24 PM on August 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


90s LOEG needs Dale Cooper trapped in the Black Lodge.

Or just a billboard with "BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND! THAT GUM YOU LIKE CLASSIC!" on it.
posted by No-sword at 5:28 PM on August 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


The 1996 one needs Jeff Goldblum, who can program a virus to shut down any computer system.

He can also invent a matter teleportation system.
posted by localroger at 5:28 PM on August 21, 2012


Holy shit the Zack Morris bit is better than anything I could have ever come up with in a million years.

Also I'm disappointed to see that that's Tequila Yuen rather than State-era Ken Marino, as I'd originally thought based on the illustration.
posted by Greg Nog at 5:29 PM on August 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Put in Johnny Bago and you have a deal!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:32 PM on August 21, 2012


I like this idea, but I really want the previous sequence. KITT. Egon Spengler. Carmen Sandiego. Sledge Hammer. Pizzazz from the mother-fucking Misfits!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:32 PM on August 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


I have to say that, as the teams get closer to the present day, they seem to get a bit less awesome with each iteration. That having been said, it's fun to imagine a modern iteration that features a yellow-jumpsuited Walter White who's been (maybe just temporarily) recruited from the dark side for his chemical skills.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:38 PM on August 21, 2012


oh shit dudes what if they have to go visit joel on the satellite of love
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:40 PM on August 21, 2012 [10 favorites]


Walt would Griffin the '00s team in a heartbeat.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:41 PM on August 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Imagine a scene where a group of baddies stalk our heroes in an abandoned chemical factory. It's gray and blue, with yellow zig-zag caution tape.

One baddie is talking casually about his new marriage. He holds up his new wedding band. It turns out that all the bad guys are now married. They make small talk about married life.

The baddies tiptoe stealthily through the nightmarish chemical maze. Many ramps have been bent into ungodly twists and turns. Stinking troughs of pink, acidic slime dot the warehouse. They stealthily use grappling hooks to navigate the twisted pieces of razor sharp metal.

They only stop when they see something truly ominous: a snarling, two-tailed fox, suspended noiselessly in the air, its tails swirling around and around.

The sniper of the group carefully takes out his rifle, but it's too late: all the baddies each clutch their now-heartless chests. Something fast and powerful has hurtled through them all.

The newlywed still has a few seconds of life left in him. He gazes at where his wedding band used to be, but now it's gone, replaced only by a tanline. Same goes for everyone else's hands.

We then see the cause of all this chaos: a realistic-looking hedgehog, colored blue, noisily eating a bunch of wedding bands.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:42 PM on August 21, 2012 [15 favorites]


oh shit dudes what if they have to go visit joel on the satellite of love

aaaaaah god damn you okay I'm in.
posted by Sokka shot first at 5:43 PM on August 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


Only 1 year away from Buffy season one. Shame.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:45 PM on August 21, 2012


If you're going to integrate Buffy, integrate the alternate universe Buffyverse where Buffy is in Cleveland.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:48 PM on August 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


It dawns on me that Rufus could meet the eighth Doctor. Just putting that out there.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:48 PM on August 21, 2012


If they're going to be British, can we work in Bernard Black... And Mike would probably be more useful than Tim, but if you have Tim, Mike would probably show up anyways...
posted by drezdn at 5:48 PM on August 21, 2012


Greg Nog: "Also I'm disappointed to see that that's Tequila Yuen rather than State-era Ken Marino, as I'd originally thought based on the illustration."

I'm glad to see that I wasn't the only one who thought that. Of course, we also know from this now-classic sketch that Louie is also the mysterious time-traveller who took Christ's place on the cross...
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:50 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


If they're going to be British, can we work in Bernard Black...

The Dread Doorway turns out to be located in Black Books, more specifically inside Manny's closet. Bernard is the last guardian, driven mad by the responsibility... at least until the heroes relieve him of the mantle of duty, passing it on to a young IT professional named Moss...
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:54 PM on August 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


It dawns on me that Rufus could meet the eighth Doctor. Just putting that out there.

The villain could be the Coca-Cola Kid, also known as The Master.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:00 PM on August 21, 2012


robocop is bleeding: "the heroes relieve him of the mantle of duty, passing it on to a young IT professional named Moss..."

But Moss has his own troubles, indulging an unstable boss during the day and nursing a crippling addiction to Numberwang at night...
posted by subbes at 6:04 PM on August 21, 2012 [8 favorites]


For years I've wanted to write a comic called The League of Gentlemen's Gentlemen, about an LXG-style team made up entirely of fictional butlers. My dream team at the moment consists of Reginald Jeeves, Alfred Pennyworth, Owen Burnett (or Preston Vogel, but not both), Lynn Belvedere and Riff Raff.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 6:09 PM on August 21, 2012 [22 favorites]


You'll need to add Carson in there if you want my Kickstarter bucks.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:11 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


If you're going to go British, no matter what recent decade, James Bond is mandatory.

Plus a chunky robot from the future named Kryten.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:13 PM on August 21, 2012


It dawns on me that Rufus could meet the eighth Doctor. Just putting that out there.

If you don't accept the TV movie as canon, Rufus could be the eighth Doctor.
posted by painquale at 6:13 PM on August 21, 2012 [12 favorites]


If you don't accept the TV movie as canon, Rufus could be the eighth Doctor.

...!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:16 PM on August 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


George Carlin had already replaced Ringo Starr in (the American version of) Shining Time Station...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:20 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


What is going on in the wiki page for LOEG III? I have not read it. Are there really so many references to harry potter? Check the last paragraph of the Chapter III summary.
posted by kittensofthenight at 6:21 PM on August 21, 2012


For years I've wanted to write a comic called The League of Gentlemen's Gentlemen, about an LXG-style team made up entirely of fictional butlers.

And founded by Marmaduke Ruggles!
posted by Doktor Zed at 6:21 PM on August 21, 2012


painquale: "It dawns on me that Rufus could meet the eighth Doctor. Just putting that out there.

If you don't accept the TV movie as canon, Rufus could be the eighth Doctor.
"

And if you do accept the Paul McGann Doctor as canon, then Rufus could be the amnesiac Eighth-and-a-Half Doctor, whose TARDIS was caught in a Cancellification Vortex, collapsing its interior and causing a slight hiccup in the frozen chamelon circuit...
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:23 PM on August 21, 2012


kittensofthenight: "Are there really so many references to harry potter?"

You really need to read it to get a full appreciation of how Potter-strewn Century: 2009 is, as any explan would spoiler the whole issue.
posted by subbes at 6:25 PM on August 21, 2012


Along the same lines, I liked Neill Cumpston's TEAM 1970’S FOOT-TO-ASSERS.

"The movie opens: A cult killer tries to assassinate Chauncey Gardiner, the President of the United States. Before the brainwashed assassin dies he gasps the word, “Cyrus” and takes a poison pill.

Senator John “Bluto” Blutarsky forms a super-team to infiltrate New York and take down the “Cyrus” cult. This team is made up of “Bruce” (from ENTER THE DRAGON), “Dirty” Harry Callahan, a now-teenaged Regan MacNeill (who is a stone boner machine and also has devil powers), “Quint” from JAWS, who’s upper torso washed ashore after the shark attacked him, and who has now been made bionic by Oscar Goldman and OSI, and finally Beau “The Bandit” Durville, who’s driving his Trans Am.

They enter New York with the Bandit driving like a fucking maniac, and Dirty Harry shooting people out the window and Regan making people’s heads explode and shit. Wow!

They get to the center of the Cyrus Cult headquarters in the middle of Central Park and confront Cyrus. He’s controlling his subjects with a glowing Chevy Malibu. Bruce goes totally Jackie Chan on everyone while Harry and the Bandit battle their way to the car. Quint dies bringing down all the cult killers, and they drive off with the Malibu. They also find out that Cyrus was trained by the Parallax Corporation.

Back at the White House, they get their next assignment. They must take down the Parallax Corporation, which is being run by Gregory Marmalarde. They are creating an Army of brainwashed super-killers at their facility at Crystal Lake. These new killers are indestructible and a step above the cult killers of Cyrus. For this phase of the mission they are joined by CIA agent Vincent J. Ricardo (from THE IN-LAWS) and off they go.

They blast their way into Parallax Headquarters, only to find their way blocked by the new generation of super-killers – hockey-mask wearing motherfuckers who have all undergone the “Vorhees treatment”. Bruce and Regan take on the killers, while Harry and Vincent go for Marmalarde. That’s when he reveals his newest, greatest killer – New York taxi driver Travis Bickle, who’s undergone the “Vorhees treatment” and is a virtual arsenal of different guns, knives – all of which appear from his wrists, chest, even eyes. Bickle killed Marmalarde’s frat brother Douglas Neidermeyer in Vietnam. Harry dies fighting Bickle, but not before killing Marmalarde. Ricardo searches the Parallax files, only to find that Parallax is only a tiny part of a much bigger, much more evil power – the Thorne Corporation, run by Damien Thorne. He has a huge facility in the Nevada desert, near Area 51.

Their final mission is to deliver the Chevy Malibu to Area 51. The Chevy contains a weapon which can defeat Thorne’s final plan.

Thorne’s compound is patrolled and protected by driverless trucks from DUEL and a bunch of those devil limousines from THE CAR. Two teams are sent in – The Bandit, driving his Trans Am with Regan and Bruce, and another driver named “Kowalski”, who will drive the Malibu along with Ricardo.


They battle their way through the devil trucks and demon limos until they penetrate Thorne’s headquarters. He’s got every character from every boring-ass indie film in the last twenty years strapped to posts in this huge chamber full of leather-y ALIEN eggs. The eggs are hatching and putting face huggers on the douche bags from WALKING AND TALKING and SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPES and CHASING AMY and everyone from every Henry Jaglom film ever made and killing them.

There’s nothing anyone can do – they have to stand and watch while all of these characters are slowly and horrible killed before our eyes, and they hatch into Aliens. That’s when “Kowalski” opens the trunk of the Malibu to reveal: ROY NEARY, JR. This is the half-human/half-alien offspring of Roy Neary from CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND and he starts going outer space whup-ass on the aliens along with Bruce Lee. The Bandit looks at the camera, winks, and smiles. (There can be a lot of shots during the closing credits of The Bandit cracking up).

Ricardo and Regan work their way to Thorne’s headquarters where there’s this huge demon battle between Regan MacNeill and Damien Thorne that will make the audience go, “We need new words for ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT’”."
posted by Sebmojo at 6:28 PM on August 21, 2012 [9 favorites]


I'm just waiting for the 2012 League Of Extraordinary Gentlepersons, which will feature all of the cool innovative heroes from the pop culture of today, like Batman, and Spiderman, and the Avengers. Oh, wait.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 6:33 PM on August 21, 2012 [6 favorites]


robocop is bleeding: "oh shit dudes what if they have to go visit joel on the satellite of love"

Of course, if Alan Moore truly was writing MST3K into LoEG, he would probably depict some truly foul bachelor-pad conditions on the Satellite of Love. Remember, Joel only tried to keep his sanity with the help of his robot friends...
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:42 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


My dream is to someday see The League of Extraordinarily Silly Persons:

Arch Mage Tim The Enchanter

Master of Disguise Harry "Snapper" Organs

Financier and athlete Oliver St. John-Mollusc

Invisible Man Thomas Walters

Brilliant strongman Professor R. J. Gumby

And the villain? Obviously.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:48 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Senator John “Bluto” Blutarsky

oh god my sides

a now-teenaged Regan MacNeill (who is a stone boner machine and also has devil powers)

i no longer have any sides
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:54 PM on August 21, 2012


The original April Fools' gag was the most exciting and cruelest joke I have ever encountered. I kept throwing my money at the screen, without result.
posted by SPrintF at 6:54 PM on August 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm just waiting for the 2012 League Of Extraordinary Gentlepersons, which will feature all of the cool innovative heroes from the pop culture of today, like Batman, and Spiderman, and the Avengers. Oh, wait.

And Jason Statham. No role. Just him.
posted by brundlefly at 6:54 PM on August 21, 2012 [10 favorites]


Also, this had me at Tequila.
posted by brundlefly at 6:55 PM on August 21, 2012


2012 League Of Extraordinary Gentlepersons

I think you are referring to The Expendables.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:57 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Tron/Max Headroom pairing is inspired.
posted by the painkiller at 6:59 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have this sinking feeling that when it comes time to do the League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: 2012, we will be represented by Keyboard Cat, Dancing Banana, Pedobear, Old Spice Guy, Badger Badger, and the token girl will be Vampire Bella. They've got to get down on Friday to fight Scumbag Steve and his army of Rage Faces. It's not the pop culture we need, but it's the pop culture we deserve.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 7:00 PM on August 21, 2012 [15 favorites]


Slendermen EVERYWHERE.
posted by Artw at 8:01 PM on August 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


Personally (and perhaps unsurprisingly) I'm pretty stoked for The League of Extraordinary Gentletoons, with Aang, Finn, Ahsoka Tano, Goliath, and Buttercup.
posted by Sokka shot first at 8:37 PM on August 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


I tried to like this (after all, mightygodking has never let me down before), but The Craft?!

My college roommate and I managed to con our way into the movie reviewing position on our weekly school paper. It was great, even if the pay only was enough for a single matinee movie a week. Pre-every-business-has-a-website days, we made elaborate schedules, trying to find the optimal time to stretch that single ticket into two or three movies. It was great, except when there was nothing to watch. That's how we saw Deep Rising alone in the theater (surprisingly good), or how I reviewed Mortal Kombat II alone (my co-reviewer refused). Or the god awfulness that was the Duchovny doctor for the mob flick, Playing God.

Nothing, nothing hurt the brain so badly as The Craft. My shattered psyche was forced to imagine alternate versions of the film at nearly every plot point. Finally, the only way to walk away with any piece of sanity was to imagine a film where, standing on the beach, trying to summon forth the whatever dark lord it was, the spiritual energy of whatever they were doing rips them asunder, and, as the camera pans across the ruin and devastation, it pulls back to Cthulhu-esque elder gods rising from the surf and destroying L.A.

Sadly, that didn't happen. The Craft remains the worst 'A' movie I've ever seen, below Batman and Robin, Mortal Kombat II, and even Mullholland Falls (which really takes some doing).
posted by Ghidorah at 8:49 PM on August 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


The League of Extraordinary Gentletoons

And Goku and Kaneda.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 9:00 PM on August 21, 2012


My dream team at the moment consists of Reginald Jeeves, Alfred Pennyworth, Owen Burnett (or Preston Vogel, but not both), Lynn Belvedere and Riff Raff.

What, no Geoffrey?
posted by adamdschneider at 9:02 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


As much as I loved the original LoEG and volume 2 (couldn't get into Black Dossier at all), I'm a bit tired of the every Victoriana pastiche at this point. Or, no I'm not, I'm just tired of Moore's cynical weary style. Give me more Kim Newman "vampires and supernaturals and other fictional characters abound" stories! His are gothic without being dreary.
posted by Apocryphon at 9:10 PM on August 21, 2012


I'm just waiting for the 2012 League Of Extraordinary Gentlepersons, which will feature all of the cool innovative heroes from the pop culture of today, like Batman, and Spiderman, and the Avengers. Oh, wait.

Frank Cobb from Inception as leader. Team members: Dren from Splice, Wikus from District 9, Gang-du from The Host, Kathryn Jannings from The Cave and Captain Damian Tomaso from District 13.
posted by mightygodking at 9:36 PM on August 21, 2012


You can't have Buffy cause she's a fandom event horizon, like Harry, it would make the whole thing about them.

For for a 2012 one, yes some Internet memes but mostly Clint and Katniss trying to train the new members who are total except for this new girl from some isolated rural island called Maderia or something.
posted by The Whelk at 9:42 PM on August 21, 2012


Their boss is Walter Bishop and Tony Stark is the actual hier to the Stark Iron throne.

Peggy Olson is M.
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 PM on August 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


And she interacts with The Laundry and Isis.

They've had problems working with the Bluth corporation.
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 PM on August 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


And something something something true blood.

Wait no Jessica, can she be part of the 2012 team! CAN IT JUST BE JESSICA?

Maybe also Pam.
posted by The Whelk at 9:45 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


And the threat is Slenderman and HIM.
posted by The Whelk at 9:47 PM on August 21, 2012


Using Dren is cheating cause no one saw that and it was bad.
posted by The Whelk at 9:50 PM on August 21, 2012


mightygodking: Frank Cobb from Inception as leader. Team members: Dren from Splice, Wikus from District 9, Gang-du from The Host, Kathryn Jannings from The Cave and Captain Damian Tomaso from District 13.

I recognized all the 1980s LOEG characters but few of the 1990s, and the reason is this: both sets were TV characters. I watched a lot of TV before I went off to college, but after college my friends and I watched action movies instead. I'm guessing you are younger than me since you filled the LOEG 1990s lineup with TV shows, but your modern-day list with movies.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 10:31 PM on August 21, 2012


Has no one put two and two together yet? Given the thread from the other day, I submit to you that the 80's League movie was already made, and it was called Buckaroo Banzai.
posted by Ghidorah at 10:35 PM on August 21, 2012


Marcellus Wallace's magical suitcase sits Rught there in plain sight.
posted by The Whelk at 10:41 PM on August 21, 2012


adamdschneider: "My dream team at the moment consists of Reginald Jeeves, Alfred Pennyworth, Owen Burnett (or Preston Vogel, but not both), Lynn Belvedere and Riff Raff.

What, no Geoffrey?
"

And the lack of Walter almost invalidates the entire list.
posted by radwolf76 at 10:41 PM on August 21, 2012


I'm guessing you are younger than me since you filled the LOEG 1990s lineup with TV shows, but your modern-day list with movies.

That was only because the previous poster complained about movies all being superheroes and such. I mean, my list didn't even have Hurley on it. You gotta know a 2000s LXG has Hurley on it.
posted by mightygodking at 10:46 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


And can't have a League of Butlers without a Butler.
posted by Iteki at 10:58 PM on August 21, 2012


I'm trying to think of a Millennial Edition LOEG, but all I'm coming up with is Tyler Durden. I think I was kind of busy around that time.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:58 PM on August 21, 2012


...the thing where The Whelk says the inclusion of a character from "The Craft" in a notional pantheon of fictional supernaturals is the part that "made it" for him make part of my brain all like, you know, there it is, you child of the eighties, kids are just riding the 90s Zeitgeist in a manner sadly closed to you. The other part of my brain is yelling that The Whelk is a fucking con artist! And now I need to take a couple Tylenol.

That portrait drawing really captures Christopher Lambert's freaky, slight lazy eye though.
posted by nanojath at 11:26 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Moore's LOEG is pretty centered around British media, all of these are more or less US

Also notable that the originals were primarily from actual novels, while these are not.

You can interpret that difference several ways, I suppose, many of them cheerful: but I'm going to allow myself to be midly depressed because it reminds me of the way that when they have Book Day at my daughter's school (that concept alone is good for a bitter smirk if you're in the mood) half the kids turn up dressed as film characters. (Actually, they all turn up dressed as film characters, it's just that half the film characters happen to have started life in a book.)
posted by Segundus at 1:42 AM on August 22, 2012


Has no one put two and two together yet? Given the thread from the other day, I submit to you that the 80's League movie was already made, and it was called Buckaroo Banzai.

CMD-F Buckaroo Banzai, dude. I'm right there with you.
posted by running order squabble fest at 2:12 AM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hang on, this can be salvaged - she's not Nancy Downs, she's Vicki Vaillancourt. This gives us an unstoppable brawler as well as a magic user if she brings along her boyfriend...
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:33 AM on August 22, 2012


Hang on, this can be salvaged - she's not Nancy Downs, she's Vicki Vaillancourt.

I like the way you think, but personally, I think she should be a grown up version of Dorothy Gale.
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:47 AM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


2012 League Of Extraordinary Gentlepersons

A Parks & Rec/Community/Archer (Pam is the new Jessica Rabbit)/ Arrested Development/ Game of Thrones Hodor mashup? I'd watch that.
posted by ersatz at 5:15 AM on August 22, 2012


Marcellus Wallace's magical suitcase sits Rught there in plain sight.

ACROSS FROM A POKÉBALL HA HA HA HA
posted by Sokka shot first at 5:53 AM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


The League Of Extraordinary Gentlepersons: 1996

Funded by a mysterious backer only known as F.G.

"Lieutenant Dan got me invested in some kind of sports league. So then I got a call from him, saying we don't have to worry about Purity no more."

posted by FJT at 6:36 AM on August 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


Yesss.
posted by The Whelk at 6:37 AM on August 22, 2012


And who eliminated Bill and Ted from the timeline, you ask? Skynet.
posted by thecaddy at 6:55 AM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Admit it, you want to read a scene where Scully throws a pokeball.
posted by The Whelk at 6:57 AM on August 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


So if the British musuem was the HQ for the UK league, where do thier American counterparts meet?
posted by The Whelk at 7:06 AM on August 22, 2012


In the basement of the Alamo.
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:10 AM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Smithsonian castle, duh.
posted by COBRA! at 7:11 AM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I want a dramatic scene at the national catherdral so we can see the darth vader grotesque and then have pendants point out that's not a joke, that actually exists.
posted by The Whelk at 7:12 AM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


I love how 'pendants' works in that sentence.

3. A sculptured ornament suspended from a vaulted Gothic roof or ceiling.

posted by ersatz at 8:06 AM on August 22, 2012


I mean, you could have Buffy, but just Buffy...

No. Willow.
posted by steambadger at 8:25 AM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Alternate universe Vampire Willow.
posted by Artw at 8:28 AM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wow it took like three seconds to find Nancy/Willow cross over fic.
posted by The Whelk at 8:39 AM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Also notable that the originals were primarily from actual novels, while these are not.

LoEG: Century included plenty of references to TV and movies and comics.

So if the British musuem was the HQ for the UK league, where do thier American counterparts meet?

Under Disneyland, overseen by Walt's frozen head.

Alternate universe Vampire Willow.

I was thinking Ethan might be fun.
posted by Zed at 9:12 AM on August 22, 2012


I'm usually up on my pop culture references, but I have no idea who the three characters are behind Scully.

Love the Tron/Max pic though - and Sledgehammer!
posted by panboi at 9:58 AM on August 22, 2012


I've always wanted to do a 1930's version of the concept: Sam Spade, Doc Savage, The Shadow, an undead Herbert West and a grown-up Dorothy. They're pulled together to investigate the disappearance of Agent Chan, who vanished while investigating the activities of Senator Buzz Windrip's Minutemen. They stumble upon a strange occult ceremony being held by the Minutemen upon a ship docked in San Francisco bay and decide they have no choice but to stow away until the ship reaches its eventual destination - Skull Island.

Upon reaching the island, they're almost immediately captured by the supersoldiers who patrol the secret Nazi base there, products of the German regime's "Gladiator" project. They're taken to the base's SS commandant, Fraulein Ilsa, who explains that Agent Chan was killed after uncovering their plans to resurrect the ancient deity who slumbers beneath the island, a plan set to be realized that night. Our main characters, Ilsa decides, will make a splendid sacrifice.

That night, they hold the ceremony and unleash the many-tentacled dark god. Fortunately for our heroes, the god is much more interested in the leagues of Nzis gathered around than them. Unfortunately for everybody, the chaos attracts the attention of the giant ape who lives on the other side of the island. The climax is a three-way battle between the Nazi supersoldiers, King Kong and Cthulu while our heroes struggle to escape the carnage. Finally, they find an old seaplane and fly away while, in the distance, Kong lifts Cthulu above his head and rips him in two and the collective squee of comic readers is heard around the world.
posted by Toby Dammit X at 11:04 AM on August 22, 2012


For years I've wanted to write a comic called The League of Gentlemen's Gentlemen, about an LXG-style team made up entirely of fictional butlers. My dream team at the moment consists of Reginald Jeeves, Alfred Pennyworth, Owen Burnett (or Preston Vogel, but not both), Lynn Belvedere and Riff Raff.
No-one's mentioned Edwin Jarvis from the comic book Avengers yet? I haz a sad. (Or the J.A.R.V.I.S. from the movies, or, fuck it, both.)

Also, Toby Dammit X, if you haven't, you should read the first chapter of Warren Ellis and John Cassaday's Planetary. Well, you really should read the whole thing, but the first chapter has expies of numerous pulp characters such as Doc Savage, Tarzan, Fu Manchu, etc.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:34 AM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


oh shit dudes what if they have to go visit joel on the satellite of love

I'm pretty sure I know what move they'd be riffing when they arrived.

Personally (and perhaps unsurprisingly) I'm pretty stoked for The League of Extraordinary Gentletoons, with Aang, Finn, Ahsoka Tano, Goliath, and Buttercup.

I will not bring PONY into this I will not bring PONY into this....

Finally, they find an old seaplane and fly away while, in the distance, Kong lifts Cthulu above his head and rips him in two and the collective squee of comic readers is heard around the world.

Then there's a vast cloud of foul-smelling gas, and now they're TWO Cthulhus....
posted by JHarris at 11:45 AM on August 22, 2012


Tssk. Cthulhu isn't just a Godzilla with tentacles. You kids and your plushies...
posted by Artw at 12:06 PM on August 22, 2012


And Jason Statham. No role. Just him.

Excellent suggestion from Chris Sims.
posted by Artw at 12:09 PM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Great Cool Lulu" has already been a part of Moore's Leagueverse. Jeeves and Wooster watched the League take him on.
posted by painquale at 12:48 PM on August 22, 2012


In the greatest prose work ever published in the English language, I hasten to add.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:51 PM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I posit that The Craft is a not great movie with some good moments here and there, and at the same time that it is a transcendent classic every time Fairuza Balk is on screen. Nancy seems to have arrived from a different, better -- WAY better -- film...she's like from the version of The Craft that alternate universe Gregg Araki made hot on the heels of The Doom Generation. Great call.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:29 PM on August 22, 2012


"Moore's LOEG is pretty centered around British media, all of these are more or less US

Okay, so Inspector Morse puts together a new team of Gentlepersons lead by:"


The updated British lineup needs Super Hans from Peep Show.
posted by MikeMc at 7:31 PM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


"What Ho, Gods Of The Abyss?" almost justifies the entire LOEG product cause it is a pitch perfect pastiche and wonderful.

RE: The Craft I agree with Nostalgia Chick. Pretty much the only thing keeping the movie from being completely forgettable is Balk's performance cause you're sitting there wondering "Wait ...I don't think she's acting. I think she may be a crazy person." and slightly afraid she's going to come out of the TV and start yelling at you.

Okay so clearly there has to be some great mystery around the Pokeball and how it holds a great and terrible force and never touch it ever (EVER!) at the Final Battle, Scully throws it at the big bad as a last ditch hail-mary-i-hope-this-works and out pops.........
posted by The Whelk at 7:50 PM on August 22, 2012


« Older Sergey Petrovich Kapitsa (1928-2012)...  |  Ex Ontario Attorney General Mi... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments