You got it, dude.
September 25, 2012 11:12 AM   Subscribe

 
Obligatory : John Stamos' Guide to Cuddling
posted by Afroblanco at 11:15 AM on September 25, 2012 [6 favorites]


I see John Stamos still has that portrait in his attic.
posted by elizardbits at 11:18 AM on September 25, 2012 [14 favorites]


The Olsen twins would have brought the party down anyway, dude. John Stamos doesn't have time for their buzzkilling pouts, he's too busy living the party lifestyle with his yogurt.
posted by Mizu at 11:19 AM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


25 years. God damn. The Olson's seem like even bigger sucks for being the old people from the cast to skip out on the party.
posted by chunking express at 11:22 AM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


I see John Stamos still has that portrait in his attic.

They all look pretty good!
posted by sweetkid at 11:27 AM on September 25, 2012


I figured the twins were trying to distance themselves from the FH days to establish their adult acting careers - specifically that gender-switch remake of Dead Ringers they're trying to get produced - but then I remembered that they don't have adult acting careers and there is no such remake so I guess they're just humorless snobs.
posted by Egg Shen at 11:28 AM on September 25, 2012 [25 favorites]


My senior year of high school, with the class winnowed down from 900 something to a graduating 600. By then, those of us in the Science and Tech program knew each other pretty well.

I was sitting in AP physics next to Aruna, my seatmate. She points to the boy in front of me.

"Did you know that Jesse was on Full House?" she whispers.

"No way! Who did he play?" I said back.

"Kimmy Gibbler's littler brother," she says.

I couldn't believe it. I'd been in classes with a freaking child star for the past four years! Why didn't he brag about this!

I had another class with Jesse later in the day. He was across the aisle from me when I said, "Jesse! I didn't know you were on Full House!"

He laughs and shakes his head, returns to his other conversation. I was slackjawed.

Within the week I break this amazing news to my good friend Shannon during lunch. She laughs so hard that her soda comes out her nose. "Oh my god," she says, "I started that rumor with Chris our freshman year."

This was 1996, so imdb wasn't as thorough as it is now, so it seemed totally plausible that he would not be in there for being in 1-2 scenes. Also, Kimmy Gibbler having a brother seemed somewhat likely, and Jesse resembled Andrea Barber. But man, a four year troll. Jesse's reaction to me was based on 4 years explaining that it wasn't true.

Shannon also admitted that Chris started the rumor about the vice principles having a contest yelling "And Jerry Mathers as the Beaver!" in the main concourse during a class period one day (Chris was a teacher's assistant and in the hallways, hence how he witnessed it.)

That's my Full House story.
posted by frecklefaerie at 11:30 AM on September 25, 2012 [4 favorites]


Damn you Egg Shen! I was all excited by the idea of Dead Ringers Olsen twins remake!

I WANT TO BELIEVE!
posted by mazola at 11:30 AM on September 25, 2012 [9 favorites]


I'm trying to find a nice way to say that all the ladies there look quite attractive and well put together and that the same could not have been said had the Olsen twins been attendance.

I can't find a way to say it so, anyway, there's that.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:30 AM on September 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


I think the Olsons weren't legally allowed to attend this reunion. Something having to do with protecting the line of succession in the event of a catastrophe.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:32 AM on September 25, 2012 [15 favorites]


You know how people who are not just successful, but like super successful, don't go to class reunions because it's just awkward for everybody how much better they are doing and because they feel like somebody's going to ask them for a small loan and shouldn't they just give it to them because they're, at least 1000 times richer than the richest person in the group.

That's why the Olsen twins don't go to the Full House reunion.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:33 AM on September 25, 2012 [9 favorites]


The cocaine was better somewhere else.
posted by tommasz at 11:34 AM on September 25, 2012 [7 favorites]


I see John Stamos still has that portrait in his attic.

...of a wrinkly bald dude with an acting career.
posted by griphus at 11:39 AM on September 25, 2012 [4 favorites]


The former Mr. Romijn always reminds me of The Big Sleep where Marlowe needles Eddie Mars about his wife running away: "From what I hear, she's not the kind of wife a guy likes to lose."
posted by Egg Shen at 11:42 AM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Given Bob Saget's version of the Aristocrats joke, maybe it's no wonder why the Olsens didn't show up.
posted by emelenjr at 11:44 AM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


We're assuming the Olsens were invited.
Obligatory clip from the Bob Saget roast.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:45 AM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Bob Saget smirk in its canonical form.
posted by Egg Shen at 11:46 AM on September 25, 2012


The Olson Twins are by far the richest out of that cast. They have a billion fashion empire and personal net worth of at least 300 mil. They're not exactly screw ups. They probably got paid peanuts on FH but managed their money well.
posted by Witold at 11:48 AM on September 25, 2012


Honestly, I'm not shocked that they wouldn't go- the show ended when they were, what, nine years old? It's not like they'd be catching up with old pals and discussing the glory days. It would be more like the awkward church reunion I went to a couple years ago, which consisted of dozens of complete strangers telling me "My goodness, I haven't seen you since you were five years old!"
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:49 AM on September 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


....and then the party became awkward when Urkel jumped out of the cake, naked. "Am I... Am I... late?" a visibly confused Jaleel Ahmad White asked as he scraped cake out of his diaper. "Ready for the comeback, JAW. Ready ready. I did that, man. I did that."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:51 AM on September 25, 2012 [7 favorites]


Terrible show, but I think this is really pretty sweet. The cast members actually seem to like each other.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:52 AM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Maybe the Olson twins were just afraid Kirk Cameron might show up bearing pamphlets.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:53 AM on September 25, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'd just like to point out that Jodie Sweetin hosted season two of "Pants Off Dance Off" and it was the greatest thing ever.
posted by jbickers at 11:53 AM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Maybe the Olson twins were just afraid Kirk Cameron might show up bearing pamphlets.

Candace also has her own ministry
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 11:54 AM on September 25, 2012


Honestly, I'm not shocked that they wouldn't go- the show ended when they were, what, nine years old? It's not like they'd be catching up with old pals and discussing the glory days

yeah, I saw them in an interview once where they said while they enjoyed working on the show and liked the cast they are mostly struck by the fact that they have all these home movies of themselves growing up from 0-9. That has got to be pretty trippy.
posted by sweetkid at 11:58 AM on September 25, 2012


The Olson Twins are by far the richest out of that cast. They have a billion fashion empire and personal net worth of at least 300 mil.

Yes, they were HUGE. I remember my now fifteen-year-old niece asking me to "play Mary Kate and Ashley" with her when she was little.

I'm impressed by John Stamo's use of his Facebook page. It's a free and fairly low maintenance way for him to connect with his fans, and he comes across as funny and approachable. Not every actor would do that or come across as well as he does. George Takei is another actor who has done something similar, and his posts are so consistently hilarious and on point that I "liked"it even though I don't care anything about Star Trek, just because some of my Facebook friends were constantly sharing great stuff from George Takei's newsfeed.
posted by orange swan at 11:59 AM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Kanye and Jay-z namedrop the olson twins in a song. That is how huge they are. Kanye namedrops them.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:02 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


(minus the Olsen twins)

How rude!
posted by Redfield at 12:05 PM on September 25, 2012 [21 favorites]


I figured the twins were trying to distance themselves from the FH days to establish their adult acting careers - specifically that gender-switch remake of Dead Ringers they're trying to get produced...

*spit take* The what?!

...but then I remembered that they don't have adult acting careers and there is no such remake so I guess they're just humorless snobs.

You son of a... For a brief, shining moment I lived in a universe where that was possible... and now it's been snatched away. Nothing will ever compare.
posted by brundlefly at 12:05 PM on September 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


They have a billion fashion empire and personal net worth of at least 300 mil. They're not exactly screw ups. They probably got paid peanuts on FH but managed their money well.

Their manager formed a production company for them, so instead of them getting hired as talent they were getting a bigger stake in their projects, which were all straight to video kid oriented twin things. It's actually pretty impressive, even if they didn't architect it.
posted by sweetkid at 12:08 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


can we research John Stamos and his hair? y'know, for SCIENCE
posted by ninjew at 12:09 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't think we are giving the twins a fair shake. They were on the show as toddlers. They do not remember it as the rest of the cast does. Maybe they should have gone out of obligation, but these are "co-workers" (can toddlers even be said to have co-workers) they likely barely remember. Who knows if they even want to act anymore, they never chose the profession.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:11 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


John Stamos was the last decent thing about Glee so I guess he has super magical powers or something.
posted by elizardbits at 12:15 PM on September 25, 2012


Damn...Kimmy Gibbler looks exactly the same!
posted by jnnla at 12:17 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


they never chose the profession.

Sure they did. Maybe not then, but later. It's not as if these were child actors who, immediately upon reaching majority, renounced acting and Hollywood altogether.
posted by cribcage at 12:19 PM on September 25, 2012


How rude!

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, that phrase has been forever scarred in my mind in the voice of Jar Jar Binks.
posted by Celsius1414 at 12:23 PM on September 25, 2012 [6 favorites]


Well, pin a rose on your nose!
posted by history_denier at 12:27 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Was this a pizza party?
posted by Brocktoon at 12:30 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]



Sure they did. Maybe not then, but later. It's not as if these were child actors who, immediately upon reaching majority, renounced acting and Hollywood altogether.


They actually haven't acted much since turning 18. Mary Kate did a small part on Weeds but mostly they have been running their fashion empire. True, their not exactly behind the scenes in promotion for that, but they've been in front of the camera their entire lives. It's normal for them.
posted by sweetkid at 12:32 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Maybe not then, but later. It's not as if these were child actors who, immediately upon reaching majority, renounced acting and Hollywood altogether.

I guess, they are close to 30 now no? I just imagine it is hard to renounce the only thing you know. I feel bad for them, trapped in a golden cage of money and beauty. They can never not be the Olsen twins.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:33 PM on September 25, 2012


I was about to reply "no, they're closer to my age which is..." and then I stopped because the answer is apparently "close to 30."
posted by griphus at 12:36 PM on September 25, 2012 [13 favorites]


True, their not exactly behind the scenes in promotion for that

ugggg, they're not their. The F.
posted by sweetkid at 12:37 PM on September 25, 2012


I was about to reply "no, they're closer to my age which is..." and then I stopped because the answer is apparently "close to 30."

weird when that starts happening. Even weirder when you realize you are now older than the friends from Friends.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:40 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Even weirder when you realize you are now older than the friends from Friends.

The day I realized I was older than Michael Steadman was a dark day.
posted by Egg Shen at 12:42 PM on September 25, 2012


I can actually pinpoint the exact moment that happened to me. I was 26 and on the train talking to a friend of mine about god-knows-what and:

"...yeah, but I mean that's totally applicable to all of us in the eighteen-to-tw....thirty age range."
"You were about to say eighteen-to-twenty-five, weren't you?"
"..."
posted by griphus at 12:44 PM on September 25, 2012


They all look great!

I once read an interview of Bob Saget's in which he related a story I love. While Full House was on the air, he and John Stamos would go out to clubs, head to the bathroom together, find some drunk guy using the middle urinal, then take the urinals on each side of him and start talking across him about how Joey was doing, whether D.J. was doing her homework, etc. Just to freak the guy out while he was relieving himself.
posted by painquale at 12:45 PM on September 25, 2012 [55 favorites]


That's awesome.
posted by sweetkid at 12:46 PM on September 25, 2012


I've actually had the pleasure of seeing both Bob Saget (in Drowsy Chaperone) and John Stamos (in Cabaret, Bye, Bye, Birdie and The Best Man) on Broadway. They are both really excellent theatre actors.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:46 PM on September 25, 2012


I don't think we are giving the twins a fair shake. They were on the show as toddlers. They do not remember it as the rest of the cast does.

Full House ended when they were 9.
posted by elsietheeel at 12:48 PM on September 25, 2012


The day I realized I was older than Michael Steadman was a dark day.

In the most recent season of Mad Men, Don turned 40.

I've just started watching Fortysomething just to have a show where they aren't younger than me.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:48 PM on September 25, 2012


They were on the show as toddlers. They do not remember it as the rest of the cast does. Maybe they should have gone out of obligation, but these are "co-workers" (can toddlers even be said to have co-workers) they likely barely remember.

Good point.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 12:49 PM on September 25, 2012


Full House ended when they were 9.

Yeah, I hadn't realized it was on so long. But the fact remains I don't remember shit from when I was 9.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:49 PM on September 25, 2012


Some days I cling desperately to the fact that strangers still call me "miss" instead of "ma'am". Once the ma'aming begins I assume I have to strand myself out on the ice and wait for death.
posted by elizardbits at 12:56 PM on September 25, 2012 [5 favorites]




WHERE ARE ALEX AND NICKY
posted by eugenen at 1:01 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


WHERE ARE ALEX AND NICKY

Nowhere to be seen, thank god.
posted by Redfield at 1:04 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Some days I cling desperately to the fact that strangers still call me "miss" instead of "ma'am".

I've gotten both but have since I was younger and am baby faced, so I think it's just what some people choose to say. I prefer when people just say "excuse me" or whatever without any misses or ma'ams though.
posted by sweetkid at 1:05 PM on September 25, 2012


Alex and Nicky
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:05 PM on September 25, 2012


Well, at least Elizabeth Olsen is kicking some ass. She was great in Martha Marcy May Marlene.
posted by mykescipark at 1:12 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Elizabeth was very good in “Liberal Arts” as well.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:14 PM on September 25, 2012


Thank goodness there's archive of Mefi's own Lore Sjoberg's dissection of Mary-Kate and Ashley's Magazine, which contains a phrase forever etched on my memory: lung glitter.
posted by BrashTech at 1:23 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Candace also has her own ministry

Maybe. But she totally kissed an atheist on Make It or Break It.

so I'm told
posted by Sparx at 1:23 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Sorry, but a Full House minus a Pair is only Three of a Kind.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:37 PM on September 25, 2012 [6 favorites]


I was disappointed they sang the NKOTB "Step by Step." I really thought they were going to sing the Step by Step show theme song as part of a cross-space-time-cross-network promotion.
posted by Luminiferous Ether at 1:46 PM on September 25, 2012 [7 favorites]


NO OLSENS, NO PEACE!

Elizabeth was very good in “Liberal Arts” as well.

If I were the sort of person who was attracted to breasts and could overlook the failings of half-baked horror stories (which are not the star's fault, of course), I would recommend Silent House too.

posted by psoas at 1:51 PM on September 25, 2012


Actually (adjusting glasses) as Steve Urkel had a cameo on both Full House and Step By Step, so they must either exist in the same universe, or Urkel built some sort of rudimentary stargate in the Winslows' basement.

Even money, really.
posted by griphus at 1:52 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Actually (adjusting glasses) as Steve Urkel had a cameo on both Full House and Step By Step, so they must either exist in the same universe, or Urkel built some sort of rudimentary stargate in the Winslows' basement.

…except for the fact that Cousin Steve lives a double live as Mike Seaver.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:54 PM on September 25, 2012


Hilariously enough, I freelance occasionally in a building where the twins have their fashion line. They just got off the elevator before I came up today.
posted by 235w103 at 2:36 PM on September 25, 2012


Some days I cling desperately to the fact that strangers still call me "miss" instead of "ma'am". Once the ma'aming begins I assume I have to strand myself out on the ice and wait for death.

I always, always use ma'am despite being old enough to be the father of most people I end up saying it to. Had no idea I was fueling ice-floe fantasies.
posted by maxwelton at 2:53 PM on September 25, 2012


I always, always use ma'am despite being old enough to be the father of most people I end up saying it to. Had no idea I was fueling ice-floe fantasies.

Most women I know prefer "miss" over "ma'am" (if you feel either is necessary).
posted by elsietheeel at 3:00 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


My most favorite blog ever: Full House Reviewed.
posted by HMSSM at 3:20 PM on September 25, 2012 [4 favorites]


Hilariously enough, I freelance occasionally in a building where the twins have their fashion line. They just got off the elevator before I came up today.

In retrospect, asking one of them, "Ma'am, could you hold the door?" would've have been just awesome.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:47 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


My most favorite blog ever: Full House Reviewed.

I'm not sure if you've just made or ruined my evening.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:42 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]




If you liked DJ more than Kimmy I don't think we could be friends.

(seriously, the Tanners were really shitty to her. And DJ was a dull brat and Kimmy didn't have a single fuck to give.)
posted by Windigo at 6:11 PM on September 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


PhoBWanKenobi: make sure you start at the beginning to get the full effect of his dissent into massive cynicism and cursing.
posted by HMSSM at 6:52 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


My most favorite blog ever: Full House Reviewed.

Oh jeez, there goes an hour. You're in big trouble, mister.
posted by painquale at 8:13 PM on September 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


Oh the days when a waiter says miss, knowing full well you're a ma'am, and you know full well he's gunning for a good tip. And you give it too, because even knowing it's a farce, you can't help reward the effort.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 9:35 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Once the ma'aming begins I assume I have to strand myself out on the ice and wait for death.

I'm 37. I got carded buying wine the other day (sidenote: I really do not mind being carded, I understand that there is tremendous liability to the store if they accidentally sell to minors), and it had been a long hard day wrangling my kids and dealing with the fact that the main water supply to our house had burst, causing a bubbling puddle in my front yard, and we were trying to refinance the mortgage -- anyway, I had a lot going on, and I was weary. And I looked at the clerk and said "Yes, that's right, you got me. I am the hardest-living 20-year-old you've ever seen."
posted by KathrynT at 9:46 PM on September 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


They can never not be the Olsen twins.

Oh, there's a way. They just haven't settled on who gets to be the victim and who gets to be the murderer.
posted by radwolf76 at 3:12 AM on September 26, 2012


The Olsen Twins never even met the rest of the cast, who were in the fantasy world.
posted by Zed at 11:16 AM on September 26, 2012


roomthreeseventeen: "Alex and Nicky"

Blake and Dylan Tuomy-Wilhoit were not the only ones to play Nicky and Alex, though they were perhaps more memorable. As infants it was Daniel and Kevin Renteria.

Also, Tia and Tamara's little brother, Tahj Mowry, was a recurrent guest on the show as one of the kids' friends (I think Michelle's). Jurnee Smollett was another friend that I remember as super cute.
posted by IndigoRain at 3:21 PM on September 26, 2012


wait, where are the beach boys?
posted by Tandem Affinity at 8:02 PM on September 26, 2012


OMG you guys HAVE to read that Full House Reviewed blog. It is effing hilarious!! "Sometimes this show feels like a Franz Kafka story that’s based off of a Norman Rockwell painting, except without any of the thought or craft."
posted by Melismata at 3:47 PM on September 29, 2012


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