The crew of the Enterprise take on their greatest challenge yet -- an out-of-service holodeck

November 26, 2012 9:12 AM

LARP Trek - webcomic from MetaFilter's own cortex
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 (210 comments total)

I
Love
This

The commentary below the comics, perhaps, more than the comics themselves.
posted by muddgirl at 9:16 AM on November 26, 2012

I literally have this in another tag and was debating if I should post it.
posted by The Whelk at 9:18 AM on November 26, 2012

It's everything I've ever wanted.
posted by Mizu at 9:25 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

OK this is great. Took a bit to get going and set the hook. I love the Worf gag in #6. (Speaking of which, I hope Seven of Nine gets to make a cameo opposite Six from BSG, maybe with some decontamination gel from the pilot of the Archer Enterprise.)
posted by Nelson at 9:28 AM on November 26, 2012

I DEMAND MORE CLICKS OF NEXT
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:31 AM on November 26, 2012 [17 favorites]

Encounter at Ponn-Farr Point. LOL.
posted by not that girl at 9:34 AM on November 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

Hi! I've been kind of constantly giggling putting this together over the last week.

I DEMAND MORE CLICKS OF NEXT

I got scripts, don't you worry. But I'm gonna aim informally for a MWF schedule and see how that goes in terms of sane production pacing.
posted by cortex at 9:36 AM on November 26, 2012

RSSubscribed!
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:36 AM on November 26, 2012

This cortex fella knows what he's doing!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:37 AM on November 26, 2012

I've been watching TNG for the first time through. I'm on season 6. This is kind of the best thing I could have hoped for. MOAR.
posted by zeek321 at 9:37 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Heh, "Trek Noir". I never got that before.
posted by leotrotsky at 9:38 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Good news: the comics have hover-over text, so now you can read them again!
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:39 AM on November 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

bwahahahahah! I adore this.
posted by DWRoelands at 9:47 AM on November 26, 2012

This was good until I got to number 7. Then it became great. Geordi losing it and his background becoming a deeper red as his frustration grows. Brilliant.
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:49 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Added to my RSS feed. It was hungry for new content since Mulder's Big Adventure went silent.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:51 AM on November 26, 2012

contains potassium benzoate

...can I go now?
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:51 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

the holograms are in your imagination!
posted by The Whelk at 9:52 AM on November 26, 2012

I never realized inappropriate excitement was a thing until I read this.

Make it so, forever plz
posted by Hadroed at 9:53 AM on November 26, 2012

And I can’t blame people for not liking the character, because he didn’t get used well; but it’s kind of a shame when you think of Wes’s potential with slightly different plotting and setup as the kid living the greatest goddam adventure a kid could have. How great would that be? But maybe that’s just not Star Trek.

No, kids having adventures is TOTALLY Star Trek. The problem was that Wesley was redundant. Riker, Worf, Geordi and Data are the kids and Picard is the dad. On TOS, Kirk was the kid AND the dad, which is why he's a far better captain than Picard (in terms of entertainment value only). Spock was the dad while Kirk was the kid and McCoy was always the mom. There is no mom on TNG, another of its many problems.

In any case, having a literal kid on TNG is just redundant.
posted by DU at 9:54 AM on November 26, 2012 [8 favorites]

sir, i represent the Dopterian Herpetic Anti-Defamation League. we need to talk.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 9:54 AM on November 26, 2012

*sound of door slamming*

Later!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:56 AM on November 26, 2012

"I sense you are experiencing feelings of frustration."

This line made me lose it. Audibly. At work.

Thank you.
posted by gauche at 9:56 AM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

I am beginning to think that cortex has the perfect life.
posted by philipy at 9:58 AM on November 26, 2012 [4 favorites]

To preemptively respond to anyone saying Troi was the mom: OK, yes. They had someone they clearly wanted to be the mom, but she was only mom in the way that lame sitcom moms are mom. She never resonated as mom.
posted by DU at 10:00 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

The Animated Series is not canonical.
posted by Aquaman at 10:01 AM on November 26, 2012

She never resonated as mom.

I thought she was pretty empathetic
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:03 AM on November 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

Deep Space Sixty-Nine!

excellent
posted by OmieWise at 10:05 AM on November 26, 2012

Guinan was a sort of absent mother.
posted by 256 at 10:06 AM on November 26, 2012

Ha!

awesome work cortex!
posted by eyeballkid at 10:06 AM on November 26, 2012

Troi isn't mom so much as milf.
posted by Nelson at 10:12 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

The Animated Series is not canonical.

You can remove my giant Spock from the canon when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
posted by Flunkie at 10:16 AM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

Am now imagining Riker RPing as Bashir and cackling madly.
posted by dinty_moore at 10:18 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

If Picard plays Sisko, that scene between Picard and Sisko in the series opener must be... rather awkward.
posted by Flunkie at 10:20 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Guinan was Wise Old Ethnic Lady, which is a different character than Mom. WOEL doesn't care about you except in so far as you follow her advice, which you never can since you can't understand it (see also: The Oracle from The Matrix).

Troi wasn't empathetic. She just turned feelings into words. Which is ALSO redundant, but in a different way than Wesley was, on a TV show. Aren't the actors supposed to be able to convey their emotions by themselves, without having a character devoted to decoding that for us?
posted by DU at 10:22 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

"The holograms are in your imagination, Wes"

MIND…BLOWN.

Can we have an online LARP TREK generator dingus please?
posted by adamrice at 10:23 AM on November 26, 2012

Having Sisko as a character that Picard would come up with automatically makes Picard a much more interesting character. The deep-seated anger issues that only come out while RP'ing or when holodecks are destroyed? hmm.
posted by dinty_moore at 10:26 AM on November 26, 2012

Does Wil Wheaton still dislike Metafilter, or has that all been worked out?
posted by Flunkie at 10:26 AM on November 26, 2012

If Picard plays Sisko, that scene between Picard and Sisko in the series opener must be... rather awkward.

He was in the Royal Shakespeare Company don't you know
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:27 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

If Picard plays Sisko, that scene between Picard and Sisko in the series opener must be... rather awkward.

Yeah, the whole premise is a gold mine of really troubling implications of self-loathing and delusion and projection. But hopefully in a fun way! I'm thinking we're gonna see some Counselor's Log action on a regular basis when Troi twigs that this is the group therapy session she could never convince the senior officers to attend.

Can we have an online LARP TREK generator dingus please?

I wouldn't bet against it in the long run, though for now I'm more focused on the actual strip[ content generation.

Does Wil Wheaton still dislike Metafilter, or has that all been worked out?

I sent him hugs and an apology from Mefi over twitter a while back, though in my capacity as Some Random Guy On Twitter that probably did not have much visibility or influence.
posted by cortex at 10:30 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah, the whole premise is a gold mine of really troubling implications of self-loathing and delusion and projection.

Picard will finally be allowed to punch Q though.
posted by dinty_moore at 10:34 AM on November 26, 2012

This is great.
posted by brundlefly at 10:35 AM on November 26, 2012

There is no mom on TNG, another of its many problems.

What th--? She's even Wesley's actual mom!
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:35 AM on November 26, 2012 [7 favorites]

Worst job on the Enterprise?
Holodeck mop duty.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:37 AM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

JLP: I punch him.

GLF: Captain, he's omnipotent.

JLP: I punch him! I punch him I punch him I punch him!

GLF: (sighs)... Roll.

JLP: Twenty!

GLF: (sighs)... Roll again.

JLP: Twenty!

GLF: (sighs)...

JLP: Make it so, Mister LaForge!

GLF: You... punch him.
posted by Flunkie at 10:39 AM on November 26, 2012 [6 favorites]

Oh, god, if this whole thing can basically be like 5-7, I am 100% on board.
posted by adamdschneider at 10:40 AM on November 26, 2012

I’m maybe wasting material for a future comic in talking about this, but it’s not difficult to watch some Riker-centric scenes in TNG and come to the conclusion that his face is just a straight-up sex thermometer.




Panel 3.


HOWLING with laughter. I spilled my coffee and scared the cat.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:10 AM on November 26, 2012

I love it.
posted by BeeDo at 11:12 AM on November 26, 2012

Wait a second. This is very entertaining, but mods aren't supposed to be doing fun things outside of Metafilter, are they?
posted by orme at 11:12 AM on November 26, 2012

cortex

ohmygod

cortex

what if picard is sisko, and riker is so petulant about not being able to live out any of his insane sex fantasies on the broken holosuite that geordi has to rewrite EVERYTHING, and they somehow end up re-enacting "take me out to the holosuite" vicariously through deep space nine's holosuite. troi could be odo. wesley is definitely rom.
posted by Mayor West at 11:22 AM on November 26, 2012

...and that's how I found myself writing fan-fiction for a Star Trek LARPing webcomic.
posted by Mayor West at 11:22 AM on November 26, 2012 [16 favorites]

Riker is first season Garak, isn't he? And Wesley is Bashir, and oh no, the flirting.
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:28 AM on November 26, 2012

So, will there actually be LARPing? Because right now it seems more like Geordi's whipped up a tabletop RPG setting.
posted by ursus_comiter at 11:28 AM on November 26, 2012

So, will there actually be LARPing?

The LARPing may be mostly implicit, though I'm inclined to think that given their having been accustomed to the holodeck, a certain amount of use of the room and physical interaction seems plausible.

I will admit that mostly I just went with "LARP Trek" because (a) it's a funny name and (b) larp slant-rhymes with star and (c) photoshopping the logo was a cinch and (d) I couldn't think of anything better.
posted by cortex at 11:35 AM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

Well done!

(sets fire to my "Well I can't draw so I can't make a web comic" excuse tag)
posted by cavalier at 11:37 AM on November 26, 2012

Wait, Wil Wheaton hates mefi? Why/since when?
posted by Greg Nog at 11:43 AM on November 26, 2012

This thread, which calls his (then) freshly started blog "lame".
posted by never used baby shoes at 11:46 AM on November 26, 2012

Yeah Wil Wheaton needs to don his most awesome sweater and join the gang here.
posted by Mister_A at 11:46 AM on November 26, 2012

That was 11 years ago though!

On the other hand I have kept grudges for twice as long.
posted by elizardbits at 11:47 AM on November 26, 2012

Yeah Wil Wheaton needs to don his most awesome sweater and join the gang here.

Although this awesome sweater may give his a run for its money.
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:48 AM on November 26, 2012

Yeah, that was back in the very early days. We were kind of dicks. I think he even name-checked it in passing in one of his books as a weird thing that happened during a weird-headspace point in his life.

Wil is great and I'd be incredibly delighted to see him pop in for some reconciliation. I doubt it's an outstanding grudge in any case so much as just kind of an off-the-radar issue. "I should go back and check out that website where people were kind of a dick about younger-me's blog" probably isn't high on anyone's list of priorities.
posted by cortex at 11:50 AM on November 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

"I should go back and check out that website where people were kind of a dick about younger-me's blog" probably isn't high on anyone's list of priorities.

Well, it is on mine, but I'm kinda a low self-esteem masochist.
posted by never used baby shoes at 11:54 AM on November 26, 2012

Hey stop trying to mod your own thread cortex!




Can you spot three errors in the preceding commandment?
posted by Mister_A at 11:55 AM on November 26, 2012

I never thought Wesley was uncool. He got to kiss Ashley Judd, case fuckin' closed.
posted by Beardman at 11:56 AM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

To be fair to o2b, most websites in 2001 were pretty lame.
posted by muddgirl at 12:00 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

As someone who has just started watching TNG--I'm still on the first season--I can say that I like this very much.
posted by Somnolent Jack at 12:10 PM on November 26, 2012

As someone who has just started watching TNG--I'm still on the first season--I can say that I like this very much.

Rest assured, it does get better.

I mean, how could it not?
posted by Rangeboy at 12:18 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Unfortunately, I see Paramount lawyers delivering a Certified Mail "Cease and Desist" letter at warp speed.
posted by spock at 12:37 PM on November 26, 2012

If Darths & Droids is still running, this shouldn't have a problem.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:40 PM on November 26, 2012

I used to approach creative stuff involving other people's IP with a lot of trepidation by that reasoning, but increasingly I've just sort of gotten zen about it. The possibility exists that a stakeholder could C&D me at any moment, and that'd suck, but until it happens it hasn't happened and life's too short to let that shit fuck with my creative happiness.
posted by cortex at 12:43 PM on November 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

a Certified Mail "Cease and Desist" letter at warp speed

I read that as a "Cease and Desist" wetter at larp speed. I don't know what it means, but it sounds messy.

Nice work, cortex! You've got a funny thing going there, and I too was sad to get to the end so quickly.
posted by Brak at 12:47 PM on November 26, 2012

I just realized: I'm being eponysterical.
posted by spock at 12:47 PM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

This comic is the platonic ideal of a fair-use parody. The legality of such was reaffirmed in 1998: guess who the defendant was?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:49 PM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

Sadly, you can be right, but still not be able to afford the fight to prove it in a court of law.
posted by spock at 12:52 PM on November 26, 2012

Eponylogical.
posted by Flunkie at 12:56 PM on November 26, 2012 [7 favorites]

Seriously, sprite- and screencap-based webcomics are not what you'd call vanishingly rare, and I don't know of a one that's been taken down by legal action. I really doubt Cortex has anything to worry about here.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:58 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Intellectual Property makes every creative act a potential sand mandala.
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:58 PM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

It's hard to read on an iPhone because it won't let me zoom out. Please hope me.
posted by jewzilla at 12:59 PM on November 26, 2012

Have you tried reconfiguring the positron matrix?
posted by adamdschneider at 1:02 PM on November 26, 2012 [8 favorites]

Nah, just remodulate the phase inverters.
posted by IjonTichy at 1:04 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

I parameterized the constructor, but all I got was a null reference.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:04 PM on November 26, 2012

Huh, yeah, what the hell is that about? You can tell I'm still not particularly mobile-centric in my testing because I got as far as testing an earlier layout on iphone, seeing that that worked fine, and leaving it at "works on mobile".

Let me see if I can tweak the stylesheet, though that area of CSS is honestly a bit greek to me.
posted by cortex at 1:05 PM on November 26, 2012

Cortex and Paramount at Tanagra.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:06 PM on November 26, 2012 [11 favorites]

Works on Dolphin in Android (which is also Webkit) for whatever that's worth.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:07 PM on November 26, 2012

I can't wait to find out what happens with Bill Striker.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:11 PM on November 26, 2012

cortex: Huh, yeah, what the hell is that about?

At a guess, you have:

<meta name="viewport" content="">

in your <head> somewhere, with the content attribute set to some combination of "maximum-scale=1.0", "minimum-scale=1.0", or "user-scalable=no".

Those fix an iOS bug where zoom is improperly applied on device rotation at the expense of user control. Ideally, the content attribute should only contain "width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0", but sometimes needs must depending on the site.
posted by gilrain at 1:24 PM on November 26, 2012

Hmm, yeah, looks like that's being injected by the WP theme. I was just poking with that meta tag myself on advice from someone and couldn't figure out the exact deal, but if it was already in there that might explain the confusion.
posted by cortex at 1:29 PM on November 26, 2012

Less lazily: yeah, you have <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,minimum-scale=1"> in your <head>. The minimum-scale=1 disables zooming out.

I love the comic, incidentally. You're the first new addition to my web comic reading list in quite some time!
posted by gilrain at 1:30 PM on November 26, 2012

We need zoom in 3 minutes or we're all dead!
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:32 PM on November 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

Well hey, look at that. I pulled the initial-scale and minimum-scale values and it now appears to behave sanely on my iPhone. Hopefully that didn't break anything else in the process.
posted by cortex at 1:34 PM on November 26, 2012

I tried routing power from the warp array through the deflector dish and using that to power the touchscreen, but it just sent me to CuteOverload.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:36 PM on November 26, 2012

Why did ye not try ta set up an asynchronous harmonic field wi' yere aft sensor array, laddie?
posted by Mister_A at 1:43 PM on November 26, 2012

This close to a planet? It would tear the ship apart!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:46 PM on November 26, 2012

If two characters are ever allowed in the same panel, Geordi and Data need to nod at each other.
posted by Beardman at 1:53 PM on November 26, 2012

SPOILER: In the final installment of this adventure, they all walk out of a (working) Holodeck, where everything you have been reading has transpired, and go back to work.
posted by spock at 2:01 PM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

I've always wondered about how long it will take after the invention of the holodeck for it to short circuit from the inevitable sprays of semen. And woe to the Starfleet cadet that has to mop it up. Wesley Crusher to the bridge!
posted by Renoroc at 2:02 PM on November 26, 2012

God, the facial expressions are so, so good.
posted by Greg Nog at 2:03 PM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

I have given this comic the greatest compliment one can: a bookmark in my "check these obsessively for updates" folder.
posted by flaterik at 2:20 PM on November 26, 2012

Once again, people hook me on something when I want MOAR and it only has a few episodes done. You people are sadists.
posted by corb at 2:25 PM on November 26, 2012

I recently watched an early episode of TNG where they were powering up the holodeck for the first time, and Picard is stepping into the Dixon Hill role for the first time. As not only a first-season episode but the first holodeck episode the story and acting have certain problems, but it did have this bit that stuck with me.

Picard is telling Crusher about the experience and the fun he was having, and how he was getting interrogated by the bad guys. Crusher responds, excitedly, making as if she wants to go now: "I want to get interrogated too!"

It's played for laughs on the show. But based on that exchange, I'm think that they would so totally get into this LARPing thing.
posted by JHarris at 3:03 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

(I think it was a first season episode at least. I am no expert on Trek.)
posted by JHarris at 3:04 PM on November 26, 2012

I've said it before, the entire purpose of Starfleet is, at this point, a way to ration and rationalize holodeck time.
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on November 26, 2012 [9 favorites]

These guys are all a bunch of strung-out deckies doing the 25th century equivalent of smoking banana peels because they can't get a proper fix. I approve.
posted by Mister_A at 3:15 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

I never understood the holodeck and why it needed to be a physical place. Wouldn't it be more efficient to have Gibsonian nodes or a SPACE VISOR which Picard could wear in the comfort of his own room, and then WHOOSH! Picard would be in the Matrix! And if, for some reason, Picard wanted to take Wheaton with him to Dixon Hill, he'd just send him an invite for a specific instance.

This would be more efficient, no waiting lists, and would keep cadets safe from the terrors of mop duty.
posted by honestcoyote at 5:51 PM on November 26, 2012

The thing I've never got about the holodeck is that anyone can just walk right in while you're using it. You know the Barclay incident has got to be something like the norm, holier-than-thou protestations not withstanding. Or, in fact, even a bowdlerized version of the norm. Yet you can just walk up to this high-tech glorified masturbation machine and say "Computer! Let me in so I can have a look at exactly how perverted this guy is!'
posted by Flunkie at 6:07 PM on November 26, 2012

I approve of this webcomic, as I chuckled most heartily, although the voices in my head all started to sound like BRIAN BLESSED for some reason.

I just love the facial expressions. This is going to make my DS9 rewatch... interesting.
posted by Mezentian at 6:14 PM on November 26, 2012

This is so awesome the word "Awesome" in Wiktionary should have a link to LARP Trek in it.

"Very spiritual people, the Andorians."
posted by Kevin Street at 6:21 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think that "Very spiritual people, the Andorians," is going to become my new goto phrase to signify inappropriate sexual feelings. It'll work a little something like this:

Me: I'll have a Grande White Chocolate Mocha, please.
Barista: With whip?
Me: Very spiritual people, the Andorians.
Barista: ??
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:18 PM on November 26, 2012 [4 favorites]

keep cadets safe from the terrors of mop duty.

I saw some pictures linked on MeFi earlier today that would help with training for mop duty.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 8:12 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

I recall that one of the selling points for holodecks was that it was physically real - populated by replicated matter.

Also, if transporter technology works to create and disappear "holographic matter" as well as normal matter, it would be trivial to recycle sexual ejaculates back into the central matter pool. I'm sure this is somewhere in an Engineer's manual or something. No need for ensigns with mops, unless that's your kink.

I don't feel that Federation humans would be too keen to jack electro-neural interfaces into their central nervous system. Especially in light of their physical and bigoted revulsion towards the Borg.

Definitely not a Gibsonian universe.
posted by porpoise at 9:14 PM on November 26, 2012

The thing I've never got about the holodeck is that anyone can just walk right in while you're using it.

But having no lock on the door is exactly what keeps people from going the Full Barclay all the time. "No locks on the holideck" probably became Starfleet's Tertiary Directive soon after it was invented. It's the 24th century equivalent of having your family's computer in a public space.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:24 PM on November 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

Needs the "fumetti" tag.
posted by vrakatar at 9:42 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

What if Starfleet Policy is the other way around, like in Stross' Palimpsest, young Starfleet officers are given over to years of "academy" training that's just working out all their hedonistic fantasies and desires on the holodeck and when they are finally tired of fleshy pleasures, they are returned to explore the galaxy with cool logic and respect for the order and structure their time in the holographic fantasy land lacked.
posted by The Whelk at 9:50 PM on November 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

I will admit that mostly I just went with "LARP Trek" because (a) it's a funny name and (b) larp slant-rhymes with star and (c) photoshopping the logo was a cinch and (d) I couldn't think of anything better.

Is it weird that I had this same discussioin in my head earlier today offline and am proud that two of these reasons were ones I guessed?

Riker is first season Garak,isn't he? And Wesley is Bashir,and oh no,the flirting.

It's definitely weird that thirteen year old me is commenting (if you replace "no" with a "yes")

Also, though I'd love to see Picard LARPing as a Locutus-hating DS9 Commander, it would, based on Wesley's outfit, require A LOT of foresight on his part.

(You can move the 13 year old geek out of the living room but you can't remove it completely.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:51 PM on November 26, 2012

So this means O'Brien is a pretty lousy role-player, I guess.
posted by ODiV at 10:17 PM on November 26, 2012

I'm still making up my mind about to handle that whole O'Brien(s) situation exactly, but, yeah, it doesn't speak well to his imagination exactly if his idea of inventing a character turns out to be "me, but older, and I lose my job on Enterprise".

But maybe it actually means Miles is the only literary role-player of the bunch? Everyone else is playing out juvenile fantasies, comicbook What If stuff, while Miles is the contemplative one, reflecting in a pessimistic and starkly self-critical way on the nature of the human condition. A Henry Miller, a Hemmingway, drowned out among all the flash and overtness of the others.

Or he's just boring.
posted by cortex at 10:33 PM on November 26, 2012 [4 favorites]

Also you have no idea how hard it is for me to have strips finished and ready to go and not just immediately publish them all and be all LOOK LOOK WHAT ELSE I MADE.
posted by cortex at 10:35 PM on November 26, 2012 [4 favorites]

I like Miles spinning literate, meta-fictional yarns about the nature of life and reality and fiction while everyone else is arguing over who gets the bigger blaster.
posted by The Whelk at 10:40 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

But DS9 is O'Brien's fantasy, because he gets to have Geordi's job!

If I were Geordi, I'd keep an eye on that man. In a manner of speaking.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:53 PM on November 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

It would be funny if Miles doesn't play DS9-Miles, but Geordi introduces DS9-Miles as an NPC, and he totally is an NPC. After all, he never saves the day he is always the maiden to be saved. Poor Miles.
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:05 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Loooooooooving this.

Cortex:

Suggestion for the Miles prob, have Wesley Rpg DS9 Miles. Wes already idolises Geordies skills, it would open the door for many instances of Geordie stating "Is that really what you think I do Wes?", plus Wes could whine about being an officer, and *still* not having the autonomy and authority he craves as a respected professional grownup.

Just a thought.
posted by Faintdreams at 1:23 AM on November 27, 2012

Hmm re-reading my own last comment, perhaps I think about Star Trek too much?

And I have just *now* realised the comedic possibilities of Data rpg-ing the Trill Dax. It would hit the sweet spot of his pinocchio issues, and also allow him to be fairly unique!

Right, Cortex, you have given me TOO MUCH TREK BRAINFOOD.
posted by Faintdreams at 1:26 AM on November 27, 2012

[this is good]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:34 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

This is great.

The "terok nor" / "Trek Noir" line had me cracking up. I swear, if anyone other than me in my life had any interest in Star Trek, I'd be phoning them up right now.
posted by zoo at 2:42 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

I really hope that Worf ends up deciding that making up a character is too silly and he'll just play as himself, much to Geordie's consternation.
posted by fight or flight at 2:59 AM on November 27, 2012 [5 favorites]

cortex, this... is... BRILLIANT!

More please.
posted by _paegan_ at 3:25 AM on November 27, 2012

Hmm re-reading my own last comment, perhaps I think about Star Trek too much?

Don't worry, Faintdreams. I think you just might be in the right place.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:46 AM on November 27, 2012

The best thing about discovering this yesterday is that, in looking for a new strip, I have continually read the following exchange multiple times:

"Question I have a beard."
"Uh --"
"Will my character need to have a beard?"
"No."
"Interesting."

Because it is currently my favorite thing ever.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:56 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah, if I were to try and put together merch of some sort, I think my first choice would be a nice line drawing of Riker and the words "Question. I have a beard." on it.
posted by cortex at 8:18 AM on November 27, 2012 [4 favorites]

Yeah, if I were to try and put together merch of some sort, I think my first choice would be a nice line drawing of Riker and the words "Question. I have a beard." on it.

And Christmas is solved for an indeterminate year.
posted by corb at 8:22 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

I really hope that Worf ends up deciding that making up a character is too silly and he'll just play as himself,

I'd love to see Worf try to roleplay as Pulaski, and everyone gettin' reeeeal uncomfortable about it.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:26 AM on November 27, 2012

Or he comes up with Dax, and everybody thinks nothing of it until two or three campaigns down the line...
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:32 AM on November 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

Pulaski was just Bev wearing the Trek future equivalent of a Hollywood fat suit. Personal holoprojector plus an alibi, so she can see what people really think without the red hair and the smile and the conciliatory manner.
posted by cortex at 8:40 AM on November 27, 2012

She got bored with it after one season 'cause every time she'd ask a patient "So how was my predecessor, Dr. Crusher?" they'd sort of just shrug and be like, "Pretty good I guess"
posted by Greg Nog at 9:09 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'd love to see Worf try to roleplay as Pulaski, and everyone gettin' reeeeal uncomfortable about it.

You want everone to get reeeeal uncomfortable? Wesley as Dax.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:47 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'll disclose some of my plotting here and say that the primary plan for Wes is to play Jake Sisko, and for Bev to play Dax—I've got my reasons, but more to the point have a couple jokes written and that makes it fixed in stone—but I think it's fair to acknowledge that people sometimes can't make it to a game session and someone has to do a quick NPC/fill-in job for their character.

And who would have easier access to Bev's notes than her son? So, yes. Hmm. Hmmmmmm.
posted by cortex at 11:00 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

My work here is done.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:04 AM on November 27, 2012

Did anybody else have a weird impulse just now where they wanted to say "Whoa - how about a spoiler alert?" to the creator of the work?

(just kidding - as any of my other previous comments about spoilers on Metafilter and Metatalk should prove)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:10 AM on November 27, 2012

I'm think that they would so totally get into this LARPing thing.

But isn't the holodeck simply a giant LARP? I mean, you've got the role-playing aspects, drawn out storylines, costumes, even "fake" weapons. I mean, it's not putting on your robe and wizard hat or yelling "lightning bolt!" at people, but the technology kind of eliminates the need for that.

So really the primary form of entertainment in the future is the LARP. Global warming-induced planetary extinction can't come quickly enough.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:36 AM on November 27, 2012

what is this horseshit I clicked the link again and there are not 48 new panels.

48. NEW. PANELS.
make it so.
posted by cavalier at 11:36 AM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm enough of a nerd that I have vague notions of what things like the Holodeck are, and I follow @wilw on Twitter 'n' shit, but I've never actually seen a full episode of any flavor of Star Trek so I don't get a lot of the jokes, I don't know the characters beyond the fact that everyone hates Wesley and Picard is some sort of dick who likes Earl Grey tea or something, and this thread is confusing the shit out of me.

Still I'm still finding this strip enjoyable for reasons which I cannot at all explain.

Bravo, sir.
posted by bondcliff at 12:02 PM on November 27, 2012

The lack of a favicon is killing the vibe on my "Daily Giggles" bookmark tab.
posted by ob1quixote at 12:39 PM on November 27, 2012

and Picard is some sort of dick

Those are fighting words. Picard is sometimes exasperated, and sometimes weighted with the heavy burden of command, but he's never churlish.
posted by muddgirl at 12:47 PM on November 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

Good point, ob1quixote. Forgotten detail, will amend.

Which raises the question: "LARP TREK" in tiny pixel font, or close-cropped Riker leer?
posted by cortex at 12:50 PM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Turns out that 256 pixels is far too little space to convey Riker's true nature, so tiny text it is.
posted by cortex at 1:25 PM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

It can't just be 256 pixels of beard?
posted by flaterik at 1:54 PM on November 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

I don't know the characters beyond the fact that everyone hates Wesley and Picard is some sort of dick who likes Earl Grey tea or something

Nobody hates Wesley. I mean, yeah, there are some Trek fans who are vocal about their dislike for Wesley, but nobody in the show hates Wesley. They all like Wesley very much.

And Picard is not a dick of any sort.

You got the part about tea (Earl Grey, hot) right.
posted by Flunkie at 1:55 PM on November 27, 2012

256 pixels of beard

...is the name of my new band.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:14 PM on November 27, 2012 [4 favorites]

love
posted by arkham_inmate_0801 at 3:01 PM on November 27, 2012

Side effect: now every time I see cortex having to actively moderate things, I will think "SETTLE DOWN PEOPLE YOU ARE INTERFERING WITH LARP TREK TIME"
posted by flaterik at 3:18 PM on November 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yes! New one is up. Reading rainbow indeed.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:56 AM on November 28, 2012

INDEED.
posted by cortex at 8:58 AM on November 28, 2012

Side effect: now every time I see cortex having to actively moderate things, I will think "SETTLE DOWN PEOPLE YOU ARE INTERFERING WITH LARP TREK TIME"

Dear god, is this your clever plan? ...must not read politics threads...must not interfere with comics...
posted by corb at 9:06 AM on November 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

Come on people, we need this thread to crack 8,000 comments.
posted by Mezentian at 5:46 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Make it so.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:13 AM on November 29, 2012

and no one posted
ever again
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:30 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Well, maybe if Cortex would update the damned comic!
Four days, one update!

This will not stand! What are we paying him for?

Or is he carefully etching more faces?
Because those faces? Perfect.
posted by Mezentian at 8:24 PM on November 29, 2012

M-W-F, man! Tomorrow is F!
posted by cortex at 9:05 PM on November 29, 2012

Fucked?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:16 PM on November 29, 2012

Cortex, I just attended the theatrical screening of two episodes of season two TNG, all remastered on blu-ray. Will you be giving us remastered high-res comics in the eventual and inevitable published anthology? I want to see their pores!
posted by Mizu at 12:37 AM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

M-W-F, man! Tomorrow is F!

Maybe where you are.
So, that's, like, just your opinion man.
posted by Mezentian at 2:15 AM on November 30, 2012

OK, I've realized that I'm, like, stalking this comic. I was keeping an eye both on my reader feed and my twitter feed waiting for an indication that the new comic was up. I need a life.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:16 AM on November 30, 2012

are you stalking it because it's the slowest and most injured of all webcomics?
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 AM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

Riker's leg all bloody and half-wrecked from an ambush
All limping along and glancing nervously back at the approaching tiger
All trying to solve the problem by telling the tiger it's got a bodacious rack
posted by cortex at 8:42 AM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

are you stalking it because it's the slowest and most injured of all webcomics?

No, I am stalking it because it is young and fresh and nubile, sweet and tender - oh gawd, I'm becoming Riker...
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:56 AM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

If I ever register a sockpuppet it will be named Bill Striker.

You heard it here first.
posted by adamdschneider at 9:00 AM on November 30, 2012

I should do a whole spinoff monologue comic about Bill Striker using nothing but screenshots of Riker in one of his Bedroom Sexytime outfits.
posted by cortex at 9:05 AM on November 30, 2012

I've never been the Internet's biggest Troi-hater, but her eye-rolling looks at Riker in LARP Trek have given me a whole new appreciation for the character.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:22 AM on November 30, 2012

Oh, my god, thank you for that link to @tng_s8. This is one of the greatest things I have ever read.
posted by adamdschneider at 11:06 AM on November 30, 2012

@tng_s8 and LARP Trek both hit the exact sweet spot where they parody the show semi-brutally while still making me want want to watch old episodes.

(Speaking of, the Picard/Worf scenes near the beginning of "Redemption Part 1" are so fucking good.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:48 AM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

I want to see a screenshot of the directory where all the character stills are stored. Knowing cortex, he already has amassed a large library of stills already sorted by action/emotion.. I just want to see a screenshot. Mmmm.
posted by cavalier at 11:01 AM on December 1, 2012

And facing direction and, in Troi's case, outfit color. It's not actually nearly big enough of a collection yet, but I've been trying to mix up the screenshotting with the actual writing and construction to keep it sane.

Here's a sample. I actually have a lot more screenshots so far than I have finalized masked-out headshots; looks like 54 final masked shots out of 222 screenshots in the raw folder, since it takes a minute or two per shot to do the masking at all well.
posted by cortex at 11:57 AM on December 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

Gosh bless it, I love you, cortex.
posted by cavalier at 12:09 PM on December 1, 2012

Panels 12-14 of episode 12 are perhaps the funniest set of three consecutive wordless panels that I've seen in a comic.
posted by Flunkie at 5:11 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

If you'd asked me a month ago to convey Oedipal horror using Star Trek screencaps I would have given you a hell of a look, and yet here we are.

I suppose I should mention this here explicitly: people can bet/argue/theorize right here about who will be playing who, or who should be, since that seems to be a recurring point of discussing in the comments on the site anyway and I like hearing people's reasoning.
posted by cortex at 9:59 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

Cassanova Frankenstein is a perfectly fine character name.
posted by Artw at 11:45 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

I still feel weird about accidentally riffing off Mystery Men like that. I've never even seen the movie.
posted by cortex at 9:21 AM on December 8, 2012

It's okay, it contains one scene that I have used to illustrate how directing/editing choices can completely step on and mess up jokes in the script.
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 AM on December 8, 2012

Mostly what I want is for someone to make a Flaming Carrot film. Well, make a Flaming Carrot film and not totally fuck it up, which seems sort of unlikely.
posted by cortex at 9:33 AM on December 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

/rates Mystery Men considerably higher than "okay".
posted by Artw at 9:33 AM on December 8, 2012

I haven't seen it in full since I was 17 soooooo
posted by The Whelk at 9:59 AM on December 8, 2012

I haven't seen it in years either, but I remember enjoying the heck out of it. The Shoveler in particular.

"We defeated them with the sword of teamwork and the hammer of... not bickering."
posted by brundlefly at 11:24 AM on December 8, 2012

"We have a blind date with destiny...and it looks like she ordered the lobster."
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:03 PM on December 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

When you doubt your powers, you give power to your doubts.
posted by Artw at 12:07 PM on December 8, 2012

The Mystery Men movie is highly underrated, yes.
posted by JHarris at 1:28 PM on December 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

My favorite part of Mystery Men
posted by Flunkie at 5:07 PM on December 8, 2012

Is this the Mystery Men love-fest?
"Do you think there's a really angry way I can say I'm sorry?" is basically my thing.
posted by Mezentian at 7:35 PM on December 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

For my next trick, I will start a Mystery Men comic in which a character unwittingly names their alter ego "Admiral Adama".
posted by cortex at 9:58 PM on December 8, 2012

Make it so; so say we all.
posted by never used baby shoes at 10:56 AM on December 9, 2012

guys I hope this doesn't make stuff weird between us but the folks over at /r/deepspacenine seem to like the strip and we keep having mild, friendly exchanges on the subject
posted by cortex at 12:55 PM on December 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

tramp!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:10 PM on December 17, 2012

Don't come crying to us when Reddit breaks your heart.
posted by tonycpsu at 3:18 PM on December 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

On reddit everyone has a goatee.
posted by The Whelk at 4:29 PM on December 17, 2012

/waits for cortex to return full of PUA knowledge about "musking".
posted by Artw at 4:54 PM on December 17, 2012

There's a random argument going on now about who moved which goalposts in a discussion of similarly inhuman-yet-exploring-humanity characters across various ST series and it has shit-all to do with the comic and it's somehow worse than people not commenting at all. Like twenty people showing up to your party but only because your house got in the way of their bar brawl, and then they're using the nice towels to clean up blood and it's like no no no you should try the crudites you should discuss literature why are you even at this party
posted by cortex at 6:51 PM on December 17, 2012 [3 favorites]

t has shit-all to do with the comic and it's somehow worse than people not commenting at all.

Of course it could be worse, and they could be wondering which characters they would play in Star Trek Into Darkness.
posted by Mezentian at 6:54 PM on December 17, 2012

I roll up a lense flare.
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 PM on December 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

On reddit everyone has a goatee.

So that raises an interesting question - the crew of DS9 treated the mirror universe to some extent as a place to play and indulge some personal fantasies (I remember one episode where Sisko got to get it on with both Dax and Kira in said mirror universe (and I have to say, the behaviour in the mirror universe made me uncomfortable - it was as if by being in it, they got to throw away all Star Fleet morality and have personal playtime without regard for the consequences, when they are still dealing with an alternate universe full of people who are affected by their decisions and such; but hey, it's more fun to play games, right?)) almost as if it was a roleplaying game...so will we see the mirror universe in LARPTrek, and what will it be like in that context?
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:09 PM on December 17, 2012

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN't be Noonien Sighn.
posted by Artw at 9:39 PM on December 17, 2012

Just to mention: I am greatly enjoying the directors commentaries as well as the strips themselves. Example: today's discussion of Data.

(very minor nit: the title in the RSS feed "LARP TrekLARP Trek" which makes Google Reader look like it's stuttering.)
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:16 PM on December 18, 2012

The commentaries and discussions are some of the more intelligent I've seen out in webcomic land.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:23 PM on December 18, 2012

If you ever sell shirts, you should definitely have one that says "everybody should endeavor to create an oral vacuum around my external genitalia".
posted by adamdschneider at 2:47 PM on December 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

Data should totally go David and try to kill everybody by touching too many things.
posted by Artw at 3:33 PM on December 18, 2012

I guess really that's not far off Lore...
posted by Artw at 3:50 PM on December 18, 2012

guys

what is going on guys
posted by cortex at 1:57 PM on December 19, 2012

You've been Oatmealed!

Now you need to have a loud and public interwebs spat!
posted by Artw at 2:21 PM on December 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think we should command the rest of the internet to take their damn dirty hands off this webcomic.
posted by never used baby shoes at 2:25 PM on December 19, 2012

Actually, I'm thinking that every comic would be subtly improved with the addition of a final panel saying, "Fuck that, blow them into the next quadrant."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:46 PM on December 19, 2012

Kinda the "Christ, what an asshole" for LARPTrek?
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:00 PM on December 19, 2012

So, if they get to 17 are they going to change it to make an oral sex joke?

Data is fully functional.... and anatomically correct.
posted by Mezentian at 6:55 PM on December 19, 2012

I'm working by way through StarGate Atlantis, and man, doesn't O'Brien look young in 18?
posted by Mezentian at 6:56 PM on December 19, 2012