Silence! Game Designer Derek Smart's Name Must Only Be Spoken in Hushed Tones!

December 13, 2012 7:39 AM

GameSpy's long-defunct Daily Victim was a daily first-person essay and illustration (by Dave "Fargo" Kosak, now of Blizzard Entertainment, and Michael "Gabe" Krahulik, then and still of Penny Arcade) which paid humorous tribute to the various individuals one meets online. Users would vote 1-5 on each one, and on the weekend, the top-voted Victim would get an additional essay and a properly colored and shaded image, often feeding into an ever-growing continuity. This website presents an archive of the complete series, along with some explanatory articles, all long gone from Gamespy's website, and in so doing provides a glimpse into the internet culture of a decade ago.

In case you don't want to read hundreds of entries, here are some personal favorites:

I've Been Defending This Flag since You Were in Your Father's Scrotum
Why, Yes. My New Job Title Is Just an Excuse to Play Asheron's Call All Day.
Tell Me about Your Day, Honey. I Promise Not to Fall Asleep This Time.
I Am Right and You Are Wrong, as Evidenced by the Immense Combined Power of the Diablo Characters Listed in My Signature
Hot Diggity! This New Matrix Action Figure Sitting on Top of My Monitor Will Affirm My Status as a Badass!
I Have Several Theories as to How a Counter-strike Dedicated Server Managed to Find Its Way into Our Network Closet, Perhaps I Should Elaborate?
Mock Ye the Arcane Arts of Unix Server Administration!?
Woe, I Say, Woe upon Thee Who Trifle with the Devine Server Administrator!
Watch Me Now as I Sing along with the Deus Ex Theme!
Why Doesn't This Warez Server Have Any Decent Customer Support!?
As an Arcade Attendant of Five Years, I Can Say with Certainty That Creeping Horror Is Not a Usual Fixture of Palace Park Amusements.
This Game You Bought Me Isn't SSX. and You're Not My Real Mom.
National Security Reasons Demand That These 'Punkbuster' Workarounds Do Not Fall into Enemy Hands
Our New Office Passtime Is Messin' with the Guy Who Plays Majestic
Thanks to Unreal Tournament, I Was Kicked Out of the S.A.T. Exams

posted by Pope Guilty (11 comments total)

These are all fine examples of what was known during the early turn of the century as "video game comedy."
posted by TwelveTwo at 7:54 AM on December 13, 2012

Man, I was like a kid when this was happening. It's amazing that someone saved all this.
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 8:03 AM on December 13, 2012 [3 favorites]

I never realized Gabe was involved with this. But the Unix server guy and the windows server guy remind me admirably of BoFH.
posted by ericales at 8:03 AM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

Interesting tidbit: The Asheron's Call guy in your second highlighted link? That may or may not have been lifted out of a post I made, and interactions I had with GameSpy staff around that time. I never owned a "Disco Sucks" shirt, so it's basically 100% fiction. Except for...well...most of that.
posted by thanotopsis at 9:00 AM on December 13, 2012 [3 favorites]

Dave "Fargo" Kosak, now of Blizzard Entertainment

Specifically, he's World of Warcraft's lead quest designer. Not bad for a guy whose closest previous connection to the game was the screenshot comic series Flintlocke's Guide to Azeroth/Flintlocke vs. The Horde. (He's now immortalized himself in game as the NPC Fargo Flintlocke.)

In any case, the Daily Victim was my gateway drug to online gaming culture. At my lowest point, I had turned into a notorious killing machine in our office's regular 5 o'clock Unreal Tournament deathmatch. Admittedly, the art department weren't exactly l33t adversaries.
posted by Doktor Zed at 9:37 AM on December 13, 2012

I remember reading a short story thing he wrote for Halloween about a haunted arcade and thinking, "This is better writing than GameSpy deserves." I'm not surprised, but pleased, to see he's working for Blizzard.
posted by gilrain at 9:49 AM on December 13, 2012

Gilrain, that's As an Arcade Attendant of Five Years, I Can Say with Certainty That Creeping Horror Is Not a Usual Fixture of Palace Park Amusements.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:55 AM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

No JeffK and no fat dragon ? Geeze. And who was the sex advice columnist for planetquake back in the day ? Mynx or something like that ? (OK, this was more like 15 years ago, damn.)
posted by k5.user at 10:27 AM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

Man, I was like a kid when this was happening. It's amazing that someone saved all this.

I've got stuff in my house that I haven't touched longer than the time since these were first posted.

I feel old.
posted by DU at 4:56 PM on December 13, 2012

And who was the sex advice columnist for planetquake back in the day ? Mynx or something like that ? (OK, this was more like 15 years ago, damn.)

Yeah. I think she has a podcast about gaming now but I can't remember the details.
posted by atrazine at 4:34 AM on December 14, 2012

Man, I was like a kid when this was happening. It's amazing that someone saved all this.

I was thinking about one I didn't link, "When I was locked out at work, I was forced to go Metal Gear Solid Freestyle", and thought "Wow, if it's even online, that'd make a cool MeFi post." I was so pleased that somebody rescued it all from oblivion.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:44 AM on December 15, 2012