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"That's when Han DROPS CHEWBACCA'S SEVERED HEAD onto the floor! Yes!"
April 17, 2013 9:11 AM   Subscribe

Tasked with filibustering a town hall meeting in Parks and Recreation, Patton Oswalt improvised an eight minute monologue pitch for the next Star Wars movie -- which somehow grows to include the X-Men, the Avengers, the Greek pantheon, and Chewbacca getting a robot ("I'm thinking spider") body. (SLYT)
posted by finnb (114 comments total) 70 users marked this as a favorite

 
The uploader has not made this video available in your country

:(
posted by gkhan at 9:15 AM on April 17, 2013 [9 favorites]


Someone's going to take umbrage with the way he pronounces "Kashyyyk," even though there's more than one answer, and he's going to LOVE it.
posted by gnomeloaf at 9:16 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


A curse on NBC for not making this video available in the UK! A curse on both their houses!
posted by fight or flight at 9:16 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sometimes it's good to live in the Empire, I suppose.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:22 AM on April 17, 2013 [9 favorites]


Also, is this the thread where we can talk about how great Parks & Rec is? Because I would like to do that.
posted by fight or flight at 9:22 AM on April 17, 2013 [19 favorites]


I can't believe how easy it was to watch all eight minutes of that! I would watch that movie, sure.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:27 AM on April 17, 2013 [7 favorites]


Parks & Rec is literally my favorite television series.
posted by Pendragon at 9:29 AM on April 17, 2013 [56 favorites]


gnomeloaf: "Someone's going to take umbrage with the way he pronounces "Kashyyyk"

Oh god. That was me.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 9:30 AM on April 17, 2013 [8 favorites]


The Parks and Rec Gag Reels for Seasons 2-4 (cursing, NSFW jokes) always cheers me up.

Chris Pratt has a total crush on Aubrey Plaza
posted by dubusadus at 9:32 AM on April 17, 2013 [7 favorites]


I'm not even a massive geek, just a geek, and I followed 100% of that yarn. take that mom!
posted by Think_Long at 9:32 AM on April 17, 2013


Also, is this the thread where we can talk about how great Parks & Rec is? Because I would like to do that.

Can I talk about how I'd like to watch Parks & Rec, but even if you play for Hulu Plus you only get access to the current season so I don't want to start? But that would be a derail into how Hulu Plus is overpriced, so maybe not.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:33 AM on April 17, 2013


Waiting until I get out of work to watch this is taking AT LEAST a year off my life.
posted by mean cheez at 9:34 AM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I love how bored the people in the back look. That's my wife when I have these ideas.
posted by DU at 9:37 AM on April 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


That plot doesn't even make sense.
posted by George Lucas at 9:39 AM on April 17, 2013 [67 favorites]


Coruscant is also pronounced as "corsocon" (?) but Patton is getting kind of winded at that point and I'll give him a break
posted by theodolite at 9:39 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Parks and Rec has some stoic extras. I would not have been able to keep a straight face during the entire speech.

Also, if filibusters in Washington were like this, I would watch C-SPAN religiously.
posted by bibliowench at 9:41 AM on April 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


I love Councilman Jam's reaction as he makes to leave.
posted by Rory Marinich at 9:42 AM on April 17, 2013


Chris Pratt has a total crush on Aubrey Plaza

As does everyone with a pulse on Aubrey Plaza, right?

As does everyone with a pulse on Chris Platt, also, right?

God, I love Parks and Rec so much and they might not even be in the top 5 reasons why (except as "overall cast as a reason).
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:43 AM on April 17, 2013 [7 favorites]


As does everyone with a pulse on Aubrey Plaza, right?

Well...
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:45 AM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Parks and Rec has some stoic extras.

I mean, they'd have to.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:45 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


LITRALLY
posted by gorbichov at 9:46 AM on April 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


MOON KNIGHT! AWESOME!
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 9:54 AM on April 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


My mancrush on Patton Oswalt is blossoming.

I really *really* enjoy Parks and Rec. It's gotten better every season.
posted by DigDoug at 9:56 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


"That's when Han DROPS CHEWBACCA'S SEVERED HEAD onto the floor! Yes!"

I mean, setting aside the cross-universe tie-ins for a moment, the rest of his visualization for a Star Wars movie I could *totally see.*

As for the tie-ins...well, I was reminded not so much of a cool movie as how fun it can be to play with *all* your toys (no matter their origin) all at the same time.

With his Facebook post on the Boston tragedy, coincidental first watching of The Comedians of Comedy last week, the discovery that he was born exactly two weeks after me, and now this -- I have just one thing to say:

Well played, Oswalt. Well played.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:57 AM on April 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'm not even a massive geek, just a geek, and I followed 100% of that yarn. take that mom!

If you followed 100% of that, that means you know who Moon Knight is, and that pushes you over the border from "geek" well into "massive geek" territory.

I'm sorry you had to find out like this.

(I was annoyed he called the X-Men's plane a quinjet. It's called the Blackbird, sir!)
posted by The Tensor at 9:59 AM on April 17, 2013 [11 favorites]


And he was Remy in Ratatouille?!

WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?!
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:59 AM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I have a passing acquaintance with a once-a-season-or-so bit player on Parks and Rec, and in real life she's exactly like her character on the show. I like to think that the entire cast of P&R is like that as well.
posted by infinitewindow at 10:00 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would pay to see this and buy the Star Wars/Lego video game made from this movie.
posted by cmfletcher at 10:00 AM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sometimes it's good to live in the Empire, I suppose.

Be sure to read this comment with the voice of Sir Alec Guinness.

Good one, PhoBWan.
posted by General Tonic at 10:01 AM on April 17, 2013


For those of you new to Patton-fandom: welcome. One oft-overlooked fact is that he's also a very good dramatic actor.
posted by jbickers at 10:03 AM on April 17, 2013


And pretty decent Doctor Octopus.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:04 AM on April 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


He's just like me, only with money, charisma and a box-office draw.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:06 AM on April 17, 2013


Also, he's shorter.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:06 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'd forgotten about Big Fan! That was a really good movie.

I'd totally go see this movie. My favorite part from the monologue: "Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four is piloting the quinjet! It was a fake-out!"
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:06 AM on April 17, 2013


For fuck's sake, it is 2013, and this post was made approximately ELEVENTY-HOJILLION HOURS AGO, and NOBODY has uploaded this again so that non-USians can see it?
You sicken me, Metafilter.
posted by GoingToShopping at 10:08 AM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I would pay to see this and buy the Star Wars/Lego video game made from this movie.

Disney Infinity might make that happen!
posted by DigDoug at 10:10 AM on April 17, 2013


And pretty decent Doctor Octopus.

He's a fine Dr. Demento to boot.
posted by Peevish at 10:13 AM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


This is the first time I've ever watched an entire YouTube video that wasn't a fluffy mammal being cute.
Although perhaps you could also describe Patton Oswalt this way.
posted by roger ackroyd at 10:14 AM on April 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


I stand with the rest of you in my admiration of Patton Oswalt, but let's not fail to recognize Amy Poehler kicking in with "I recognize that name!" and other appropriately in-character bits.
posted by Etrigan at 10:24 AM on April 17, 2013 [7 favorites]


This is as good of a place as any to mention that an anonymous AV Club commentator has been porting the plot of every episode of the current season of Parks & Rec into the Star Trek TNG universe.

In response, there's also this account that mocks the original with amazing and incoherent gonzo ramblings about Star Wars fanfic.
posted by schmod at 10:25 AM on April 17, 2013 [15 favorites]


I have a passing acquaintance with a once-a-season-or-so bit player on Parks and Rec, and in real life she's exactly like her character on the show. I like to think that the entire cast of P&R is like that as well.

I really, really do too... though I try to separate the actors from the characters so I can both (a) admire and respect their performances and (b) not be totally overwhelmed by my love of them. I started to almost cry at Ben and Leslie's wedding pretty so much it was like they were my dearest friends. And then when I watched the episode a second and third time, I did again at all the same parts.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:26 AM on April 17, 2013


I really hope that this episode gets a proper Director's cut.

The existing extended P&R episodes all featured some absolutely fantastic improv. Watching Ron take calls on a daytime TV advice show for 10 minutes had me in stitches the entire time.
posted by schmod at 10:29 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


For those of you discovering Patton Oswalt for the first time: he's a good comedian and a potent actor, but I think he's a better writer than he is anything else.

His high school commencement speech is probably my favorite "celebrity commencement speech" – I like it more than I like the big David Foster Wallace one, though maybe that's shallow of me – and the article he wrote about John McCain a month before McCain lost to Obama, And You Will Be Fascinated By Defeat, was one of the more interesting things I read during the 2008 election season.

Man of many talents, Patton. One of the more fascinating people to come out of alt-comedy – the things he does are all really good, but all in very different ways.
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:33 AM on April 17, 2013 [6 favorites]


"Your house isn't haunted; you're lonely."
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:34 AM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


Oh, and while Patton Oswalt's stand-up style is often more "interesting" than "funny" for me, his routine about the angry magician is wonderful. I think it's where everything I like about Patton Oswalt comes to a glorious head.
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:35 AM on April 17, 2013 [13 favorites]


infinitewindow: "I have a passing acquaintance with a once-a-season-or-so bit player on Parks and Rec, and in real life she's exactly like her character on the show. I like to think that the entire cast of P&R is like that as well."

Shauna Malwae-Tweep?
I may have a total crush on Shauna Malwae-Tweep
posted by namewithoutwords at 10:37 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I still insist that Tarantino STAR WARS would be the best thing since evar.
posted by LukeLockhart at 10:45 AM on April 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


I just hope that Ethel Beavers managed to get all that down.
posted by Johnny Assay at 10:45 AM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


This is the first time I've ever watched an entire YouTube video that wasn't a fluffy mammal being cute.

You need some better search terms.
posted by DU at 10:45 AM on April 17, 2013


Oh, and while Patton Oswalt's stand-up style is often more "interesting" than "funny" for me, his routine about the angry magician is wonderful.

I literally (no, not Chris Traeger literally, actual literally) had to pull over to the side of the road the first time I heard that routine, I was laughing so hard. To this day, my spouse can paralyze me by saying that something costs "twenty games of Galaga."
posted by Etrigan at 10:46 AM on April 17, 2013


Rory Marinich: "Oh, and while Patton Oswalt's stand-up style is often more "interesting" than "funny" for me, his routine about the angry magician is wonderful. I think it's where everything I like about Patton Oswalt comes to a glorious head."

"hatefucked the crowd with magic for 10 minutes"
HAHAHAHA
posted by Strass at 10:46 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


...he's also a very good dramatic actor...
...And pretty decent Doctor Octopus...
...He's a fine Dr. Demento to boot...


...also a pretty good Penguin.
posted by PlusDistance at 10:47 AM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


If you followed 100% of that, that means you know who Moon Knight is, and that pushes you over the border from "geek" well into "massive geek" territory.

Uh oh.
posted by entropicamericana at 10:47 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I watched through the whole thing and was really really hoping that there'd be a tag/tease of robotic Chewbacca after the credits.
posted by elmer benson at 11:12 AM on April 17, 2013


Implying Moon Knight is a first tier Marvel super hero.
posted by ND¢ at 11:20 AM on April 17, 2013 [8 favorites]


I have heard considerably worse pitches.
posted by The Whelk at 11:26 AM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


"This is someone who I know! I know who that is! That is the first person I know!"

... is about where I lost it. But also Jamm's off-screen "come on" after Oswalt brings Thanos into it... that's just excellent.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:39 AM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


The female part is a little under-written.
posted by ShutterBun at 12:01 PM on April 17, 2013 [6 favorites]


Metafilter: Fluffy animals being cute.
posted by Billiken at 12:11 PM on April 17, 2013


I still insist that Tarantino STAR WARS would be the best thing since evar.

It already happened and was called Cowboy Bebop.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:14 PM on April 17, 2013 [11 favorites]


For those who can't view the youtube link:
Try this or this (via Reddit)
posted by JiffyQ at 12:20 PM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Parks + Recs has gotten progressively better season after season. It is up there for me with Modern Family in the writing department.
posted by Theta States at 12:35 PM on April 17, 2013


I walked into my neighborhood record store a year or two ago and the place was packed full of people all facing the back of the store and I looked and lo and behold Patton Oswalt was there doing a reading or something. I couldn't hear anything he said and the store was too packed to get any closer and I turned and walked right back out the door and now I feel like my reaction is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:42 PM on April 17, 2013


Underestimate Patton Oswalt at your own peril.
posted by misha at 12:44 PM on April 17, 2013


THANK YOU, JiffyQ.
posted by Pendragon at 12:45 PM on April 17, 2013


I'd like to take a moment to mention that this seems to have all been done in one or at least very few takes. Pretty impressive.

Is he really this into all this stuff or is it an act?
posted by Malice at 12:49 PM on April 17, 2013


The opening crawl states that it was all done in one take.

If you watch his standup it becomes pretty clear that he's deeply into that stuff.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:04 PM on April 17, 2013


Is he really this into all this stuff or is it an act?

Oh, he's one of our people. You should check out his book Zombie Spaceship Wasteland if you want a good, fast read about nerd making good.
posted by bibliowench at 1:05 PM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


Is he really this into all this stuff or is it an act?

I'd venture to say that Oswalt has built a large chunk of his particular comedic brand on his unabashed film/comics/tv fandom. You sure can't fake that level of Star Wars/Marvel nerdery. Even his mispronunciations of the various planet names felt authentic, in the sense that a lot of those names existed in the books/comics/ancillary merch a decade or two before anybody ever said them out loud in an "official" movie.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:05 PM on April 17, 2013


I cannot image the social benefit of pretending to be that into Disney owned properties.
posted by The Whelk at 1:05 PM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also, one of his standup bits articulates his dissatisfaction with the prequels:
At Midnight I Will Kill George Lucas With A Shovel

posted by bibliowench at 1:08 PM on April 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


Man I love Patton Oswalt so much... I wish I could see him as a little kid.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:09 PM on April 17, 2013 [8 favorites]


Building robots and having conversations.
posted by The Whelk at 1:10 PM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


So late to this, but this is exactly what San Francisco public access is like when they cover citizen comments to the board of supervisors.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:22 PM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


Lest we forget Physics for Poets.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:40 PM on April 17, 2013


See, I feel like Ben is missing out. He would be super into this.
posted by kbanas at 1:44 PM on April 17, 2013


See, I feel like Ben is missing out. He would be super into this.

Gods yes, a heated rebuttal from Ben about some crucial trivia point like "X would never fight Y because they formed a TREATY on Pangooeet in the Dardeen Age*" would be nerdgasmy. Both of them reduced to hot tears of indignation. nerdfight gawww

My only concern would be that it might dilute the purity of nerdiness of that damn fine filibuster.

* I made up those words
posted by sidereal at 2:21 PM on April 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


If you're a twitter type, you must subscribe to his feed. It's especially entertaining in moments of high polital theater. It was the best thing about the Republican nominee debates. He would live tweet the debates and it killed.

My husband and I tried to secretly buy Patton tickets last year to surprise each other. It was sold out. But we have tickets to see him in a month!!!
posted by amanda at 2:47 PM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


My husband and I tried to secretly buy Patton tickets last year to surprise each other.

That is incredibly romantic. I bow to you both.
posted by sidereal at 2:59 PM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


That is the greatest O. Henry story ever.
posted by shakespeherian at 3:01 PM on April 17, 2013 [6 favorites]


Implying Moon Knight is a first tier Marvel super hero.

You mean he isn't? I stand with Patton. And yes, the X-Men in the Quinjet provoked some minor interior nerd rage but of the "C'mon, Patton, of all people YOU should have gotten that right!" variety. At least he committed to it for the rest of the monolugue, though.
posted by KingEdRa at 3:37 PM on April 17, 2013


No, Moon knight isn't a first tier Marvel hero. Come on.

Hey, amanda's comment alerted me to an upcoming Patton tour, and he'll be in town in May for a few shows. 222 was one of the funniest things I've ever listened to.

Is it better to see a first show or a second, and does it matter which night (first, last)?
posted by Auden at 4:04 PM on April 17, 2013


ok nerdfight
posted by sidereal at 4:22 PM on April 17, 2013


kbanas: Yes! I was wondering where the hell Ben Wyatt was during this.

Also, how long before someone acts this out with action figures and cgi?
posted by Pronoiac at 4:23 PM on April 17, 2013


Also also, I think if Ben were there, he would contest some point, Patton would sorta counter it, Ben would improve that suggestion, and then they'd go to a whiteboard to chart everything out. After a few hours, they'd have several movies laid out.
posted by Pronoiac at 4:29 PM on April 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


jbickers: "For those of you new to Patton-fandom: welcome. One oft-overlooked fact is that he's also a very good dramatic actor."

He was so great as Constable Bob on Justified this season.
posted by Room 641-A at 4:30 PM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, and I think misha meant to link thusly: Underestimate Patton Oswalt at your own peril. On preview, it's regarding Justified, like Room 641-A.
posted by Pronoiac at 4:32 PM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Pronoiac, I like your outcome better, Mr. Eponysterical.
posted by sidereal at 4:35 PM on April 17, 2013


schmod: Watching Ron take calls on a daytime TV advice show for 10 minutes had me in stitches the entire time.

Whoa! I tried to track this down. I found a 2-minute version, at least. I'm sad I can't find more!
posted by Pronoiac at 4:50 PM on April 17, 2013


Blue shirt guy in front totally wants to see the movie he's describing. ;)
posted by usagizero at 5:21 PM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


No, Moon knight isn't a first tier Marvel hero. Come on.

Crescant darts at moonrise, sir.
posted by KingEdRa at 6:00 PM on April 17, 2013


I would watch an entire movie of Patton Oswalt describing his plot, My Dinner With Andre style.
posted by Dr-Baa at 6:48 PM on April 17, 2013


"I'm wearing boots of escapement!"
posted by Room 641-A at 6:51 PM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


My husband and I tried to secretly buy Patton tickets last year to surprise each other.

Do you have a sister?

Really, 'tho, I loves me some Patton. Consistently entertaining and always puts his heart into it.
posted by djrock3k at 6:53 PM on April 17, 2013


The Parks and Rec Gag Reels for Seasons 2-4 (cursing, NSFW jokes) always cheers me up.

"I'm fart and I'm smunny and I'm a prize."
posted by bendy at 7:37 PM on April 17, 2013


I am totally down with Leia leaving Han for Lando.
posted by nooneyouknow at 7:57 PM on April 17, 2013


Ahhh i've been waiting so long to see him on P&R.

I suppose this is the place where I issue a public plea to Bill Murray to please, please play the Mayor of Pawnee.
posted by littlesq at 8:17 PM on April 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Nothing less than this would justify an eight minute delay in getting better gun control laws.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:14 PM on April 17, 2013


So, is anyone else going to be really disappointed now if Ep VII doesn't start with Bobba Fett crawling out of the Sarlack pit?
posted by dry white toast at 5:16 AM on April 18, 2013


Episode VIII can start with a despondent Han finding a puzzle box which turns out to be a Lament Configuration, thus bringing the Hellraiser franchise into the story. A guilt-ridden Leia will hire Boba Fett and Moon Knight to retrieve Han from The Labyrinth while Leviathan and Thanos duke it out.
posted by homunculus at 10:37 AM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


There must be a temple of Khonsu in the bottom of the Great Pit of Carkoon. That would explain Boba Fett's reappearance as well as his new best pal.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 12:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Star Wars Episode VII - The Gauntlet of Infinity movie poster, as envisioned by Patton Oswalt
posted by homunculus at 6:20 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


In other Avengers news: Mark Ruffalo Reacts to ‘Science Bros,’ the Tony Stark–Bruce Banner Romance Meme
posted by homunculus at 8:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Patton gets in touch with his inner asshole on Reno 911

Oswalt appeared several times on the show as a troublemaker character at Ren faires, but this is my favorite. Reno 911 is improv...
posted by krinklyfig at 11:16 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


My favorite scene in the Comedians of Comedy is when they're all sitting down to dinner, like 20 people at this long table, and Patton says: "This calls for a toast." He raises his glass, and so does everyone else. "To White Power!"

I use that one on rare occasions when dining out. Never fails to get a laugh.
posted by Eideteker at 1:20 PM on April 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


Moon Knight was an A-level character in the '80s.
He was one of my favourite things about the West Coast Avengers. So there.

I am a little disappointed Patton Oswalt didn't work in any Cylons. You know, him being from the Galactica universe and all.
posted by Mezentian at 6:59 PM on April 19, 2013


Patton Oswalt’s ‘Star Wars’/Marvel pitch comes to life in poster
posted by Mezentian at 6:59 AM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


I *just* watched this episode online and as I was watching it I said, "Oh man, I would love it if the whole rest of the 30 minutes is just him filibustering." Was really put out when they cut out chunks of his speech and was delighted to discover the whole thing here, so thanks!
posted by Deathalicious at 11:06 PM on April 21, 2013


Just finished watching it. Everyone in that audience deserves an Oscar for keeping straight faces the entire time.
posted by Deathalicious at 11:15 PM on April 21, 2013


Little-known sci-fi fact: Know Yoda's original first name, we do
posted by homunculus at 7:39 PM on April 25, 2013


Joss Whedon hints Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are in Avengers 2
posted by homunculus at 7:52 PM on April 25, 2013


A porn parody of “Parks and Recreation” now exists. It's called "Porks and Recreation"
posted by homunculus at 11:39 AM on April 30, 2013


Feels like it needs to be more like Porkin' Recreation.

Storks and Procreation is of course an entirely different show.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:13 PM on April 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


PBS: The Movie (PBS Meets The Avengers)

Not bad, but the female part's a little underwritten. Julia Child maybe?
posted by homunculus at 6:03 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


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