December 10, 2001

1:40 PM

I've been eagerly anticipating the launch of this site. So...it just went live and.....after 2 minutes of frustration (and it's not fine Lynchian weirdness either), I gave up. Is this thing still under construction or is it really that bad?
posted by davebush (40 comments total)

It is really that bad.
posted by internook at 1:46 PM on December 10, 2001

Yep. Even on a T3 connection the front page took nearly a full minute to load.

What's it hosted on, a 386?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:51 PM on December 10, 2001

I also gave up, it's not something I enjoy.
posted by riffola at 1:52 PM on December 10, 2001

I like how everything is cut up images, even the plugin info text. Classy.
posted by malphigian at 1:54 PM on December 10, 2001

Wil Wheaton won't be losing any sleep over this site.
posted by bobo123 at 1:55 PM on December 10, 2001

Lame, especially given who it is, though it loaded fine for me on DSL.
posted by mmarcos at 1:59 PM on December 10, 2001

Geez...I just remembered reading months ago that David was teaching himself Flash. I think I understand now.
posted by davebush at 2:01 PM on December 10, 2001

I hate sites that feel compelled to render full paragraphs of text as images, when using CSS-styled text would have worked just as well with a fraction of the bandwidth.
posted by waxpancake at 2:05 PM on December 10, 2001

At least he has a sense of humor about it.
posted by panopticon at 2:06 PM on December 10, 2001

oh, my. oh...my.
posted by jpoulos at 2:07 PM on December 10, 2001

Its that bad.

I'm not against pay sites by any means but there seems to be a hell of a lot of hoops to jump through just to view it. Looks like its for hard core Lynch fans so even fringe ones like me would scram. And I did.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:08 PM on December 10, 2001

Quicktime and Flash required - red flag there
No open source software browsers - another red flag
"netscape will not work" - one more flag
"pay" - see ya!
posted by yesster at 2:18 PM on December 10, 2001

The flash animations where way to small to be read. I don't know if it's Konqueror or Linux... or maybe the site was developed for 360x480 resolution.
posted by Localemperor at 2:24 PM on December 10, 2001

pay... not the best way to start a following. I'd say tempt us for a while, then add more and ask for a little fee. ..but then again, if its that bad, don't let them see it until they pay, who'd pay for crap?
posted by tomplus2 at 2:25 PM on December 10, 2001

Is this thing still under construction or is it really that bad?

No, it's worse than really bad. It's really awful. Why do web designers make bandwidth hogging images of pure text? Really stupid, too.
posted by waffleboy at 2:26 PM on December 10, 2001

It's a veritable how-to of bad web techniques! And, even better, there are whole new kinds of mistakes, the likes of which I've never seen before. Sure, you've got your classic "images of text" error, but there's also a "Flash used for a page that is, in it's entirety, two links." That's original. And then there's the whole "torment the user with the worst experience ever, restrict viewership as much as possible, and demand money before they see anything" business model. Sort of a "whip me, beat me, call me Mommy" approach to salesmanship.

Lynch has arrived on the web folks! The man who made a career out of inventing whole new kinds of filmmaking mistakes is finally here to show us how to really not do it.
posted by rusty at 2:38 PM on December 10, 2001

Whew... What's amazing is that the site was made this poorly at a time when there are more unemployed web designers and engineers willing to work for next to nothing than ever before. I smell nepotism. Bye, David.
posted by scarabic at 2:41 PM on December 10, 2001

I did enjoy the notification email I received yesterday, announcing that the site was going live.

It was written all in caps (THIS IS THE DAVID LYNCH.COM LAUNCH NOTIFICATION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), which was kind of funny if you read it out loud in an impersonation of David's own character on Twin Peaks.

Too bad the site is so awful.
posted by bcwinters at 2:42 PM on December 10, 2001

and just for the record, here's the full text of the classy notification email:


Date: Sat, 08 Dec 2001 11:44:01 -0800
From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Subject: DAVIDLYNCH.COM LAUNCH NOTIFICATION !!!!!!!

DAVID LYNCH.COM


THIS IS THE DAVID LYNCH.COM LAUNCH NOTIFICATION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ON MONDAY, DECEMBER 10 2001, AT 9:45 AM PACIFIC STANDARD TIME, DAVID LYNCH.COM WILL LAUNCH ITS MAIN SITE ..... THIS WILL BE FOLLOWED SHORTLY BY THE LAUNCH OF "NEW SERIES" EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE NET, AND IN TURN, THEY WILL BE FOLLOWED BY THE OPENING OF THE STORE ..... THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN DAVID LYNCH.COM ..... I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THERE !!!!!!

DAVID LYNCH
posted by gluechunk at 2:48 PM on December 10, 2001

wow, almost as good as Melanie's site.
posted by gwint at 2:51 PM on December 10, 2001

Too bad the site is so awful.

I think that's the point. All caps, bad interface, etc. What's weirder than bordering on non-useability?

I'm sure the web designers are getting a kick from the reaction to the site. "They're doing everything wrong!" Its actually pretty funny.
posted by skallas at 2:54 PM on December 10, 2001

Once again, a new type of media comes along and makes the old masters look foolish.
posted by jragon at 2:55 PM on December 10, 2001

5 JavaScript errors on the first page. No thanks.
posted by cakeman at 2:57 PM on December 10, 2001

23 items and errors on the page...*and* it's done in black and white, no less. David, David -- ever heard of GIF files?!
posted by metrocake at 3:03 PM on December 10, 2001

Ok, Melanie's site isn't great in regards to usability, but it is pretty, and I loaded the front page and the second page in well under a minute...I'm still waiting for David Lynch's lobby to load. I actually don't know the first thing about him, but I do want to know what I'm waiting for...I bet I can spell check this post and post it, and it still won't be done loading...
posted by jacobw at 3:04 PM on December 10, 2001

That's a damn fine cup o' javascript.
posted by scottfree at 3:06 PM on December 10, 2001

I think there was something wrong with the looping or something, I hit reload, took off loop, and pressed play, and it popped up.

Of course, once it opens, there's nothing to see, nothing to press, nothing, nothing, nothing.

Can I cry for wasting the last 5 minutes of my life on this?
posted by jacobw at 3:08 PM on December 10, 2001

Hey, the site loaded in a reasonable am't of time on my road-runner cable pipe, no javascript errors under IE5.5 sp1 and the content is quite lynched...

But $9.95 a month? Is he trying to reinvent porn?

(On a lighter note...Mulholland Drive is an awesome film that really delivers the goods... for Lynch Fans anyhow)
posted by BentPenguin at 3:27 PM on December 10, 2001

Really crap. Out of curiosity... did anyone get far enough to see how much the membership costs?
posted by edamame at 3:30 PM on December 10, 2001

it loaded pretty quick for me on 56k, i don't see what the fuss is about, and although it says you can't use netscape you can if you want cos i am using mozilla and it worked ok. but there's no actual content on there yet, maybe we should wait until there is something more to judge it on!! (i love finishing posts with exlamation marks whether they are warranted or not)
posted by mokey at 4:48 PM on December 10, 2001

Didn't Zeldman do the Griffith site?
posted by jpoulos at 5:21 PM on December 10, 2001

IE 5, and I got so many JS errors that I didn't go past the first page.
posted by SpecialK at 5:24 PM on December 10, 2001

Personally, I think the site is great. Who cares about usability? It's David Lynch. His movies aren't usable. They're weird experiences. The web site fits the Lynch motif.
posted by benbrown at 8:28 PM on December 10, 2001

I love David Lynch. His movies are intriguing and thought-provoking, and I particually liked The Lost Highway (which also has one of the best soundtracks ever). Come on people, this is David Lynch. What do you expect? A weblog with black text on a plain white background?

The site looks like it is still under construction. It says it has movies, art, music and cartoons. The website is definitely for hardcore David Lynch lovers. I'd pay $9.95 a month for fresh Lynch action, you know, if I had a job.
posted by animoller at 8:37 PM on December 10, 2001

I'd pay $9.95 a month for fresh Lynch action, you know, if I had a job.

I'll take "Fatal Problems with my Business Plan" for $800 please, Alex.
posted by rusty at 10:29 PM on December 10, 2001

I am a big fan of David Lynch, and I will give him the benefit of the doubt as regards 'errors' on the site... But asking for $9.97 a month, without any indication, even, of what the site will provide us with, for that money, is ridiculous.
posted by Rebis at 10:30 PM on December 10, 2001

Come on people, this is David Lynch. What do you expect?

Ummm... a little content???
posted by Dirjy at 11:14 PM on December 10, 2001

"Click here to enter."
"Members Entrance"
"Free preview"
Are they gonna ask me if I'm over 18 next?
posted by jeb at 11:19 PM on December 10, 2001

Jpoulos : Zeldman's Company didn't do Melanie's site (AFAIK), they did it (and apparently, a bunch of others too).
The sad thing is that Melanie apparently (obviously?) had the final "creative" word on her site...
posted by XiBe at 4:48 AM on December 11, 2001

But asking for $9.97 a month, without any indication, even, of what the site will provide us with, for that money, is ridiculous.

If you have a read of it, it says music, film, cartoons and art. That sounds like an indication to me.
posted by animoller at 6:56 AM on December 11, 2001