They aren't the weakest link
July 30, 2013 10:37 AM   Subscribe

A hillbilly and his zaftig racoon friend dance on the porch. [SLYT]
posted by sparklemotion (45 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
Well, I learned what the word "zaftig" means.... (Yes, I went 65 years without ever reading or hearing that word....)
posted by HuronBob at 10:41 AM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Rabies: One hell of a drug.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 10:41 AM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Man I love the planet Earth.
posted by cashman at 10:43 AM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Dude's a pretty good dancer!
posted by eviemath at 10:50 AM on July 30, 2013


That is one fat raccoon.
posted by dabug at 10:51 AM on July 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


Well, at least it has opposable thumbs so it can use all those testing strips from Liberty Medical.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 10:53 AM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Only cats get the diabeetus.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:54 AM on July 30, 2013


As awful as most YouTube comments are, "That is´╗┐ the fattest fucking raccoon I have ever seen" was pretty much my immediate thought when I saw this.

Not that I don't love this, because I want a pet raccoon SO BAD (I realize they're wild animals and it's a bad idea and I'd never actually have one, but I want one in the way that I also want to be a fire engine when I grow up)
posted by dismas at 10:59 AM on July 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


And this is where I regret not looking through the other videos on that same channel first, as it seems to be worthy of a many-link youtube.

Here is "Santa" taking a shower with a much smaller raccoon.

Here is Santa dancing to the BeeGees, in an appropriately festive setting, but with a much less enthusiastic critter.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:01 AM on July 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


You had me at 'zaftig raccoon friend'.

In fact, if that were a show, I would watch it.
posted by Myca at 11:01 AM on July 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


Someone beat me to the rabies comment. I called in to the local animal control officer about a squirrel that seemed just off. His comment was that there were two effects of rabies, the aggressive effect but the other was a slowdown of the metabolism. It did look like that coon finally got up enough energy try to get a taste of the big dumb animal that didn't know enough to run away fast in a straight line.
posted by sammyo at 11:14 AM on July 30, 2013


That raccoon has reminded me to continue to monitor Chubby Cat's weight, or else that will be her and Shepherd on the porch one day.
posted by Kitteh at 11:17 AM on July 30, 2013


Not that I don't love this, because I want a pet raccoon SO BAD (I realize they're wild animals and it's a bad idea and I'd never actually have one, but I want one in the way that I also want to be a fire engine when I grow up)

Last spring a raccoon moved into the alley behind our row house, and in lieu of luring into the house to keep as a pet, my wife and I would just spend evenings watching the raccoon come and go, spinning tales about a young raccoon who had moved to the city right after raccoon college and was making friends and enjoying all the city had to offer. Then she had babies and hung around for a little while and then left, which is pretty much how that story ends for humans, too, so it seemed appropriate.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:18 AM on July 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


sammyo, given the other two videos I linked, I'd be less concerned that that particular raccoon is rabid. He is just an overfed, irresponsibly domesticated, house pet.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:21 AM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I hope this isn't in Missouri and the pet isn't allowed inside, as the Dept. of Conservation will hunt this man down and take his raccoon.

There's an interesting PBS special about raccoons worth watching.

Someone beat me to the rabies comment. I called in to the local animal control officer about a squirrel that seemed just off. His comment was that there were two effects of rabies, the aggressive effect but the other was a slowdown of the metabolism.


I've encountered what was most likely a rabid racooon.* I was just pulling up into my driveway after a visit away when I spotted a medium sized raccoon at the end of it, sitting on his haunches. This would not have been immediately disconcerting if it were not three or so in the afternoon. I yelled at it, honked the horn, and the darn critter would not move. It simply sat on its haunches, rocking slowly back and forth. I ended up trying to call animal control only to find that there's no controlling animals on Sunday, so went over to local sheriff's office.

A deputy appeared not long after. He yelled at the raccoon. It did nothing. He waved his arms at it and approached it. It did nothing. He took out his baton and hit it with several strikes, while yelling at it. It did nothing. Finally, he removed his pistol from his holster, asked me about the presence of homes beyond the woods past the raccoon and promptly shot it twice. It fell over dead.

This raccoon looks and acts nothing like my raccoon. This raccoon looks like it's been fed too many meals too often.

*I asked the deputy if it needed to be taken somewhere for rabies testing and was simply told to triple bag it and drop it in the trash can.
posted by Atreides at 11:26 AM on July 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


If that is the fattest racoon you have ever seen you obviously haven't gone for walks in the suburbs the night before garbage day.
posted by srboisvert at 11:34 AM on July 30, 2013 [7 favorites]


The one thing I learned from that video is that I really need to trim my beard so it starts growing again.
posted by Our Ship Of The Imagination! at 11:44 AM on July 30, 2013


Actually, what I think the raccoon is trying to stay is, Human, stop doing this, it's not right.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 11:50 AM on July 30, 2013 [9 favorites]


I think I know that raccoon's grandparents.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:55 AM on July 30, 2013


I was thinking this could be a domesticated raccoon. I've seen one once in my life, and it acted like a very mischievous dog. The owners had it on a leash and everything. Cute and bizarre.
posted by fremen at 12:12 PM on July 30, 2013


That's a "zaftig" raccoon? Really? You're adorable.

/Torontonian
posted by maudlin at 12:18 PM on July 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Moved into a house a few years ago and came home one evening to a horrible wailing. Three baby raccoons by and oak tree attempting to climb it. They'd make it between 10 and 15 feet off the ground and then fall with a horrible thump and bounce. 'coons are one dense (as in mass not sense) critter. Anyway, Sunday night so after several dead-end phone calls finally got a hold of an emergency vet that would hold them until they could be sent to the shelter the following day. So put on some heavy gloves and scooped the adorable rapscallions into a box and headed to the vet. Once they got comfortable in the box their mischievous little purring got louder and louder. 'coons are load as hell. Long story short, they are adorable little thieves and I was tempted to keep one and make him my friend. I am sure they lived happily every after and my yard and trees (especially the mulberry) are still full of raccoons. I have yet to dance with any of them.

Not my video, but all the sound effects you'll need.
posted by misterpatrick at 12:27 PM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I bet Kevin Rose couldn't throw that raccoon very far.
posted by BinaryApe at 12:45 PM on July 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


America is the only nation in the world where the raccoons are fat!
posted by bukvich at 12:57 PM on July 30, 2013


When your raccoon friend with the eating disorder is trying to get you to realize you're embarrassing yourself, step back and reassess.

"____ & the Zaftig Raccoons" needs to be a band.
posted by yerfatma at 1:09 PM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's a "zaftig" raccoon? Really? You're adorable.

/Torontonian


I'll admit that the video made me a little homesick for the roving raccoon gangs of Hog's Hollow.
posted by sparklemotion at 1:21 PM on July 30, 2013


There was a truck driver in Scotts Valley ,CA in the late 70's that had a raccoon that would ride with him. I used to see him once and awhile. The surprise was when I was back east, and I was watching an episode of Real People I was saying to some people I was watching with "hey I've seen that guy" then the story moved to some people who raised rattlesnakes in the same town and I was "WTF thats my parents house!".
My parents were renting it out as they were working overseas. My parents were not too pleased.
posted by boilermonster at 1:22 PM on July 30, 2013 [5 favorites]


Interesting that nobody has issues with the word "hillbilly."
posted by JanetLand at 1:28 PM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


The video (which I think he posted himself) is entitled "Hillbilly slide" and considering we're talking about a guy in overalls, with a beard that reaches his sternum and a pet raccoon, it's not impossible that he self identifies as a hillbilly
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:33 PM on July 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Some of the raccoons at Mt Pleasant & Eglinton were so fat that they couldn't climb curbs, only getting onto the sidewalk via driveway drop-downs.
posted by scruss at 2:15 PM on July 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I kept thinking that raccoon was gonna bite him square in the nuts, actually.
posted by The Whelk at 2:22 PM on July 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


I actually had an issue with the word "hillbilly" until I watched the video and saw that the dude apparently self-identifies as such.
posted by KathrynT at 2:35 PM on July 30, 2013


The offensiveness of hillbilly, like many words, often times rests upon the context and usage.
posted by Atreides at 2:42 PM on July 30, 2013


Seasick Steve really needs to hire some new backup dancers.
posted by Optamystic at 3:31 PM on July 30, 2013


Yeah, I really got the impression that raccoon has been domesticated to the point that it quietly approaches to accept treats, and even allows the occasional petting and interaction, but is not entirely domesticated from what could, even rabies-free, be a really nasty bite.
I should know, I have a barely-domesticated housecat who's bitten me.
posted by dhartung at 3:47 PM on July 30, 2013


Sadly, the raccoon depicted, Gunshow, has passed away.
But now they have Rebekah!

I don't know if my dad has seen these videos, but I am certain this is the man my dad wishes he could be. He also has a huge white beard and sent me a video of him and a raccoon in the yard the other day. (That one was a juvenile that was a little too old to catch and tame, so he let him be.)
posted by Countess Elena at 4:02 PM on July 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


Not a big fan of domesticating wild animals, but I did laugh at this. And if Gunshow and Rebekah were orphans, rescues or similar that otherwise would have died in the wild, it's hard to condemn this guy and his family for saving them.

But still: Don't try this at home, folks. Wild raccoons can be nasty when confronted.

And for the non-USA MeFi-ites and any others who may not know: Much like "redneck," "hillbilly" is one of those words that can be just a description when people use it about themselves, but often turns into an insult when used by outsiders.

I have relatives in the Ozarks who occasionally describe themselves as "hillbillies," even though they reside "in town," have college degrees and regular jobs, dress just like people in cities, live in regular houses not wooden shacks, etc. It's a small-town/rural-white-person tribal thing, often used in a mildly self-deprecating/humorous way, as would seem to be the case here.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 4:41 PM on July 30, 2013


I love his video where he explains why he uses Hanna Montana Body Wash.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13cS7oQwCHc&list=TLTIYlOGriYts
posted by Sintram at 5:11 PM on July 30, 2013


there's no controlling animals on Sunday

This is why Matt had to bring in a weekend moderator (hi restless_nomad!)
posted by ActingTheGoat at 6:14 PM on July 30, 2013


Nice! It's great to see my local Arts Council get some recognition on The Blue!
posted by sourwookie at 6:44 PM on July 30, 2013


And I live here in The Ozarks, so I'll use "Hillbilly" all I want, slicker.
posted by sourwookie at 6:46 PM on July 30, 2013 [5 favorites]


Rebekah, huh? Wonder if the new critter is named after Grace Coolidge's White House raccoon?
posted by Scram at 10:39 AM on July 31, 2013


Hello.
posted by homunculus at 8:08 PM on August 1, 2013


Turtle release upstaged by thieving raccoon
posted by homunculus at 9:30 PM on August 2, 2013


Raccoon rescue
posted by homunculus at 11:58 AM on August 12, 2013


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