a feral pig, three six-packs, and a cow

September 12, 2013 8:34 AM

The pig was reportedly last seen resting under a tree, possibly nursing a hangover.
posted by Annie Savoy (22 comments total)

Some pig.
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 AM on September 12, 2013 [3 favorites]

One camper reported seeing the pig guzzling the beer before getting involved in an altercation with a cow.

Oh Australia, how you delight me.
posted by elizardbits at 8:43 AM on September 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

Any night that ends up with you being chased by a cow is a good one.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:43 AM on September 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

I don't believe any of that story. Why would a pig take cans and how did it get them open. Are they trying to tell me a pig bit open 18 cans of beer?

Pretty sure the cow drank them.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:45 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

The State Government of Victoria's Agriculture site says that feral pigs have large tusks and "need to drink daily in hot weather." Apparently it was time for this one to pork-belly up to the bar and stab open a few cold ones.
posted by Annie Savoy at 8:53 AM on September 12, 2013

I like the ambiguity of the camper-pig-cow-altercation sentence.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:58 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Drunk and boarish: swigging pig hogs 18 beers at campsite
Campers told to lock up food and drink after feral pig goes on bender in Western Australia and ends up in altercation with cow

seriously one of my favorite head/subhead-lines.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 8:59 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

I once caught a wallaby drinking beer. Some backpackers in the tent next to me had ignored the instructions posted a gazillion times around the campground and left all their rubbish outside. I woke up at 1am to a sound of a small child crashing about a liquor store. I got the torch, shone it to where the noise was and caught a wallaby standing there with a beer can in its hand, looking guilty.
posted by MuffinMan at 9:00 AM on September 12, 2013 [9 favorites]

A drunk pig appeared in one of the first Oscar-winning films ever.
posted by bubukaba at 9:14 AM on September 12, 2013

The pig may have been drunk, but I'm sure that cow had it coming.

Cows... always standing around, staring you down with those gentle brown eyes, like they couldn't harm a fly.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 9:23 AM on September 12, 2013

When my mother was growing up in Wisconsin, a local girl was killed by a cow. Maybe the pig was defending the helpless, sleeping campers from death by bovine.
posted by Annie Savoy at 9:27 AM on September 12, 2013

Needless to say, my next band will be called Cow Altercation.
posted by Kimberly at 10:32 AM on September 12, 2013 [3 favorites]

Isn't a cow altercation where you both make moo-t points?
posted by MuffinMan at 10:48 AM on September 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

That all rather depends, Professor, on what one considers to be a pig.
posted by emmtee at 11:10 AM on September 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

Oh that pig is so cute!
posted by FirstMateKate at 11:15 AM on September 12, 2013

here is an unrelated but nevertheless interesting Pig Story
posted by elizardbits at 1:03 PM on September 12, 2013

This is a very inventive way to convince dad you didn't drink all his beer.

The fact that it was probably Swan Draught is even more of a reason to convince people you didn't drink it.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:39 PM on September 12, 2013

Eh, Swan is better than VB and on par with Carlton Draught in my opinion.

So yes, it's piss.
posted by deadwax at 4:42 PM on September 12, 2013

I got the torch, shone it to where the noise was and caught a wallaby standing there with a beer can in its hand, looking guilty.

There should be a photo of this captioned MEANWHILE IN AUSTRALIA
posted by Countess Elena at 6:45 PM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh Australia, how you delight me.

Oh, elizardbits, let me share with you the delights of the NT News!
It is usually a hotbed of bikini girls and crocs,' but there is also
Nuttiest idea to wean us off meat: the Territory's fattest town needs to get the pork off its fork and go vegan!

Croc love bite tips next PM!: Big Wendell the psychic croc, while certainly taking a while to choose, favoured Tony Abbott to take out the election on Saturday. AND HE WAS RIGHT!

Gen Y sisters doing it for themselves- Frails can do sums!

And, my favourite: Only In The Territory - If it involves Crocs or nekkid chicks, or stupidity, boy, is it here? YES.

I am sure drunk pig is somewhere there, but trounced by some other drunk creature.

I must also add that Doris the Drunk Pig was a featured character on A Country Practice before Molly died.
posted by Mezentian at 9:45 AM on September 13, 2013

Croc love bite tips next PM!

I imagine the author of this magnificent piece of journalism waggling their eyebrows and making finger guns throughout its composition.
posted by elizardbits at 10:46 AM on September 13, 2013

I imagine the author of this magnificent piece of journalism waggling their eyebrows and making finger guns throughout its composition.

I met one of the senior journos from the NT News once.
He was straight from Fleet Street and within 10 minutes of his company I knew exactly the find of person who writes up the profiles of Page 3 Girls, and types "PWHOOOOOOR" in all caps unironically.
posted by Mezentian at 7:14 AM on September 14, 2013