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Fifty Shades of Orange
October 10, 2013 9:29 AM   Subscribe

"But Bryzgalov still has one more fan-fiction story than Cliff Lee, Allen Iverson, Evan Mathis and most other Philadelphia professional athletes that do not play hockey. Because this phenomenon doesn’t happen for baseball, basketball or football." The Philadelphia City Paper on Flyers Fan Fiction.
posted by troika (87 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
ahahaha there are over 3000 of these
posted by The Whelk at 9:33 AM on October 10, 2013


of course the top rated one if a teen wolf crossover, of course it is
posted by The Whelk at 9:37 AM on October 10, 2013 [6 favorites]


Oh yeah, hockey RPF is huge. One of my friends has recently been pondering hockey/Sleepy Hollow crossovers. The Stanley Cup would be some kind of demon-fighting device. (And Lord Stanley would have been a demon fighter back in the day, of course.)
posted by kmz at 9:39 AM on October 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Hockey RPF is sort of a hilarious wonderland, frequently with little connection to actual hockey.
posted by asperity at 9:39 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Pot, meet kettle.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:39 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


After reading the title of the FPP, I was so relieved this wasn't about Boehner.
posted by exogenous at 9:40 AM on October 10, 2013 [5 favorites]


If a nice kid like Claude Giroux (clearly the Jesse Pinkman of the Quebecois hockey crime underworld) shot Chris Pronger, he must have had a good reason. I'm sure a grizzled veteran of the hockey police force like Kimmo Timonen will crack the case. And then alternate universe Scott Hartnell will fall over.
posted by Copronymus at 9:41 AM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I know so many people who are really into hockey RPF and it seems so random to me. Not just because I'm not really a hockey fan, either. I can't imagine wanting to read fanfic about Xabi Alonso and David Villa, for example.
posted by elizardbits at 9:42 AM on October 10, 2013


I'm just confused that Mibba appears to be the only site City Paper checked for this article. I'd never heard of it and it's sure not where I'd start looking.
posted by asperity at 9:42 AM on October 10, 2013


No, I lie, I would totally read Angela Merkel/Basti Schweinsteiger fanfic.
posted by elizardbits at 9:43 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Why Hockey RPF?
posted by asperity at 9:43 AM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I know so many people who are really into hockey RPF and it seems so random to me.

Fanfiction is like the Rule 34 of real life. There is fanfiction about everything.

No, seriously, everything. Everything.

Everything.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:46 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


"I AM MIGHTY ZEUS, GOD OF NOT HAVING ANY PANTS ON"

I'd read more literary fiction if it had more lines like this.
posted by The Whelk at 9:47 AM on October 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


i .... know? i have personally written greasemonkey/stylish fanfic. browser extension fanfic.
posted by elizardbits at 9:48 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


There is fanfiction about everything.

I once thought I was super clever in High School by writing a short story about a woman turned on by Knife/Spoon pairings and intricately written utensil sex fic until a an hours worth of Google taught me everyone had beaten me to that joke.
posted by The Whelk at 9:48 AM on October 10, 2013


I'll just be over here, waiting for the inevitable crossover of this and dinosaur erotica.
posted by ThatSomething at 9:50 AM on October 10, 2013


All fanfic progresses until the characters are Jaeger pilots.
posted by The Whelk at 9:51 AM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


(or kittens)
posted by The Whelk at 9:51 AM on October 10, 2013


crap that Fandoms I Love Loved tag is pretty awesome
posted by The Whelk at 9:57 AM on October 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


This is a major breathrough in literature. A five-minute major. For holding.
posted by not_on_display at 9:57 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Fanfiction is like the Rule 34 of real life. There is fanfiction about everything.

We all know that, the question is why Hockey RPF seems to be so popular, way more so than say, Baseball RPF or Basketball RPF.
posted by kmz at 9:58 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


There's just something about sweaty, pasty, unshaven, toothless slavic men sliding around in frigid temperatures in padding that obsures nearly every detail of their bodies except for the rawest humanoid form that really gets my juices flowing.

...Even better when they are doing so in front of tens of thousands of amped up Philadelphians!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:58 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I have read all manner of weird fanfiction, but I've never been able to get into RPF, sports or otherwise. I've read a few fics that were basically original fiction and enjoyed them, but I am incapable of engaging with RPF as a fandom. Like, I don't care about these people because they are not in space or fighting crime/evil.

I have, however, briefly seen the appeal of soccer RPF. Those guys are a) really attractive, and b) really touchy-feely. But then I tried reading the fic, and I lost interest a few paragraphs in because it was still all about soccer, and there was no space or crime fighting or magic, and attractive dudes fucking was not enough to hold my interest.
posted by yasaman at 9:59 AM on October 10, 2013


I really want the image in the article to face my bed so I can wake up every morning to Scott Hartnell's dreaminess.
posted by lownote at 9:59 AM on October 10, 2013


i have personally written greasemonkey/stylish fanfic. browser extension fanfic.

I think one of my favorite RPF stories was a story written in response to a famous person's response to fanfic. It was pretty clean, and quite adorable. I've also heard that people are now writing fanfic about a pig that inexplicably turned up at a convention for the show Supernatural.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:06 AM on October 10, 2013


the question is why Hockey RPF seems to be so popular, way more so than say, Baseball RPF or Basketball RPF.

Oh, I see - well, even there, I have a hunch that baseball RPF's may be just as popular in their own way.

Although, the whole notion of angry sex between people who regularly beat each other up is a fanfic convention that lends itself to hockey a bit more so than baseball, I would imagine...
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:09 AM on October 10, 2013


I've also heard that people are now writing fanfic about a pig that inexplicably turned up at a convention for the show Supernatural.

Origin story

(Jeeze, are people not keeping up with their Journalfen flists these days or what.)
posted by kmz at 10:11 AM on October 10, 2013


the question is why Hockey RPF seems to be so popular

Hockey really does have the best hugs of any professional sport. Probably even of any organized sport at all.

They're just so damn cheerful-looking, and with all the padding and masks and everything it's like watching Care Bears with knives on their feet.
posted by asperity at 10:12 AM on October 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


Actually the best moment in fanficcery was when the actress who played Sasha Kaidonovsky in Pacific Rim starting reccing stories about her character.

Not to mention whatever the hell is apparently happening in the Sleepy Hollow world.
posted by The Whelk at 10:13 AM on October 10, 2013


kmz: "We all know that, the question is why Hockey RPF seems to be so popular, way more so than say, Baseball RPF or Basketball RPF."

I would like to introduce you to Henrik Lundqvist.

But in reality, there's nothing grosser to me than guys with a wad of tobacco in their cheeks, so that rules out any baseball shipping inclinations I might have.
posted by specialagentwebb at 10:13 AM on October 10, 2013


ahahaha there are over 3000 of these

Two minutes for slashing.

(Also, I note that there are exactly two popular pairings; Crosby/Malkin is in second place, but #1 is Kane/Toews because of course.)
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:13 AM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


This is a major breathrough in literature. A five-minute major. For holding.

I think you mean for slashing.

But seriously, it is really weird that hockey is singled out for this treatment in a way that other sports' athletes aren't. I don't really follow hockey that closely, but I wonder if it's because their personal 'voices' are more anonymized? Like, I kinda know about a few of the the players' personalities on my local baseball, football, and basketball teams, but I couldn't tell you which hockey players are friendly, likable, etc.
posted by antonymous at 10:14 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Having read no fan fiction - ever - I have to admit I was giggling pretty hard at myself after realizing that first paragraph about Giroux and Tinsley wasn't true. I love the NHL, and as I got to the end of that first section, my heart was beating a little harder against the 50/50-blend button-down dress shirt I won't be taking off until after my evening commute, I couldn't wait to read the rest of the article story and get every little detail. Then, "Obviously, this story isn’t true. Tinsley is fictional, as is this version of Giroux"... sigh. I guess I just prefer non-fiction.
posted by Lukenlogs at 10:14 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Icarus The Supernatural Pig should totally fight monsters and other threats to pigkind
posted by The Whelk at 10:14 AM on October 10, 2013


So, okay, is anyone else kind of creeped out by RPF? (I mean, creeped out in a different way than so many - including me - are totally creeped out by mpreg.) I recognize that this is a somewhat inconsistent argument but it seems like a story about a totally fictional character, even one played by an actual human actor, is somewhat less, I dunno, pushy and intimate than a story about actual humans who are really alive. It just seems weirdly intrusive to spend a lot of time making up wish-fulfillment and romantic pornography stories about other people. And while those people are celebrities and as such they have a public personality (so it's, I guess, a bit different than writing porn about Joe from Accounting and his forbidden affair with Fred in Maintenance, which would be insanely creepy and harassing) it still seems like ill-wishing someone, like you totally discount their actual life that they've chosen.

Also, it seems like it feeds into the weird recent fandom behavior where people insist - insist! - that the actors from Supernatural are really gay or whatever and generally make fools of themselves at cons. (Note: I have never seen Supernatural but the con anecdotes do travel. I also know someone who writes Supernatural filk.)
posted by Frowner at 10:15 AM on October 10, 2013


Not to mention whatever the hell is apparently happening in the Sleepy Hollow world.

The show itself is so bonkers I feel like the fic has to work extra hard.
posted by kmz at 10:16 AM on October 10, 2013


RPF feels squicky and creepy, I thought this was just taken as a given.
posted by The Whelk at 10:16 AM on October 10, 2013


I would like to introduce you to Henrik Lundqvist.

Nice shot, but to get in close to Lundqvist you must first deke around Scott Hartnell and Ruslan Fedotenko.
posted by gompa at 10:19 AM on October 10, 2013


Jeeze, are people not keeping up with their Journalfen flists these days or what.

I actually knew, I didn't wanna assume anyone else did though...(Honestly, I don't even watch the show but that clip of the actors with the pig is something I've watched repeatedly because it is delightful.)

Also, it seems like it feeds into the weird recent fandom behavior where people insist - insist! - that the actors from Supernatural are really gay or whatever and generally make fools of themselves at cons.

Supernatural
may be a special case because of Misha Collins. The guy behaves as if he is a believer in one of the old Trickster Gods or something; I wouldn't be surprised if he's flat-out writing some of the more extreme fanfic under an alias just to mess with people.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:19 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, RPF is definitely a bit unsettling. But when confined to the realms of AO3, LJ/DW, etc, I think it's fine.

When it crosses lines into tinhattery is where it gets super fucking creepy (and often misogynistic as hell).
posted by kmz at 10:20 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


In a related story, "deke" is a Hall-of-Fame Canadianism and surely lends itself to all sorts of euphemistic uses in hockey-themed romantic fan fiction.
posted by gompa at 10:20 AM on October 10, 2013


RPF feels squicky and creepy, I thought this was just taken as a given.

Okay, maybe I'll rephrase my question in stronger form if that's the case. Or even make it not a question. I think RPF is kind of a bad thing and that people should not write it. I am more than a little squicked by it; I actively think it's a bad thing, even though it's also sort of a decadent-future-culture thing that would fit neatly into a John Brunner novel.

I would be willing to consider arguments to the contrary and obviously I don't think that the RPF police should be stopping people; I just think it's Not A Right Thing.
posted by Frowner at 10:20 AM on October 10, 2013


Not to mention whatever the hell is apparently happening in the Sleepy Hollow world.

Orlando Jones is happening.
posted by elizardbits at 10:20 AM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh, RPF is definitely a bit unsettling.
True, but you have to respect his contributions to quantum electrodynamics.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:20 AM on October 10, 2013


There's a lot of emotion out there for a show about two flannel shirts in a car.
posted by The Whelk at 10:21 AM on October 10, 2013


I think RPF is kind of a bad thing and that people should not write it.

The Bible is literally RPF.
posted by elizardbits at 10:21 AM on October 10, 2013


Stupid council of editors taking away our awesome SuperBaby Jesus stories.
posted by The Whelk at 10:22 AM on October 10, 2013


I've been working on my own Magnum Opus titled "Big Paul makes a porno".

Our hero Paul finds some compromising pictures of an aging business tycoon and convinces him to start an adult film company. The tycoon is overjoyed with the idea and tells our hero you had me at 15 year contract. The pair head over to Kensington and overpay a series of aging slightly haggard prostitutes for this dream production. Once the first few scenes start rolling in the pair are shocked with how awful their films look. They decide it's obviously the cameraman's fault and he has no business being in their work of pure beauty. The cameraman is sent on his way and Paul hires his buddy Chief to shoot the remaining scenes.

I've run into some writer's block at this point but I think the cameraman is probably going to move on to win an Oscar and our hero will go back to telling dancers at the local strip club he's still a big deal in the industry.
posted by cmfletcher at 10:23 AM on October 10, 2013


the question is why Hockey RPF seems to be so popular

well, what is the major difference between Hockey and {Baseball, Football, Basketball}... let's see...

could it be that the players are almost exclusively white?
posted by ennui.bz at 10:23 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


We all know that, the question is why Hockey RPF seems to be so popular, way more so than say, Baseball RPF or Basketball RPF.


Well, the racial makeup of professional hockey players vs. pro football, baseball, and basketball is pretty hard to ignore here.
posted by mcmile at 10:23 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think one of the big reasons I like that one RPF I read is that it's kind of self-aware; it's not about anything aggregiously weird, it's basically about David Tennant finding out about Doctor Who fanfic and thinking that it was weird. Which is....probably not too far off the mark for most celebrities.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:24 AM on October 10, 2013


So, okay, is anyone else kind of creeped out by RPF?

You're not alone, but mostly I find it sufficiently harmless and too full of wonderment not to dip my toes into it now and then.
posted by asperity at 10:24 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


The weirdness in Supernatural fandom is less because of people writing RPF and more because of a select group of fans not being able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. This would be true no matter what they were writing.

And also Misha Collins. (Also, Ben Edlund, even if he is no longer writing for the show. What is his twitter. What.)
posted by dinty_moore at 10:27 AM on October 10, 2013


EmpressCallipygos: "Supernatural may be a special case because of Misha Collins. The guy behaves as if he is a believer in one of the old Trickster Gods or something; I wouldn't be surprised if he's flat-out writing some of the more extreme fanfic under an alias just to mess with people."

Supernatural may also be an edge case because they had an episode where the characters were transported to a reality where they were actors (same real-life names, wives, etc) playing the characters in Supernatural. And the tweets that Misha Collins playing Castiel playing Misha Collins tweeted, were actually tweeted by Misha Collins in the real world.
posted by specialagentwebb at 10:30 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Bible is literally RPF.

You know, I think that's a really specious argument. Very little is known about the historical Jesus. It's not as though the various writers were sitting around in Gethsemane nudging each other about whether Jesus created fishes...or pornography! Nor is the audience for the bible anything like the audience for fic. Certainly, some people read both - I read fanfic and modernity theory myself - but that's not the same thing.

This whole "[THING] is really fanfic/RPF/science fiction" contrarian business is good for a laugh, yes, but it's not a very useful way to think ideas through because it plays so fast and loose with genre, style, audience and intent that you really don't have any concepts left at the end of the day.

And I'd argue that "fic" isn't the same as "fiction". It's a different genre, subject to different rules and produced for a different audience. I wouldn't waste my time reading a printed book that's as badly written as most of the fan fiction I read, and yet I consider quite a lot of that fan fiction to be pretty good - because it's not working with the same set of goals and constraints as, say, Alice Munro.

This is totally making me go all Darko Suvin about genre, actually. I don't think that the existence of edge cases like Sarah Monette's work or Swordspoint means that there's no such thing as the genre of fanfic, or that fanfic phases seamlessly over into fiction any more than I think that Oryx and Crake means that there's no such thing as a genre of science fiction.

On a personal level, I think that when actual living people are around to read one's little mpreg bondage stories, one ought not to make those stories about the actual living people.
posted by Frowner at 10:31 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Plus, it's a show where the fandom exists in-universe as a thing.
posted by The Whelk at 10:31 AM on October 10, 2013


Plus Supernatural's issue was that lots of people didn't feel comfortable reading or writing Wincest. RPF was a much more common alternative than in other fandoms where the two major characters weren't brothers.
posted by asperity at 10:32 AM on October 10, 2013


Creepy insanity in SPN fandom isn't new by a long shot. It's been going on since day 1, although it really took off when the costars decided to be roommates.

Misha Collins is the greatest troll the world has ever known, and is a weird combination of charming and fucking insufferable.

Also, craziness in slash RPF in that particular fandom is no more and no less than regular heterosexual delusions which culminated in a fan attending a convention in a wedding dress and physically assaulting one of the stars, or fans tweeting death threats to the stars' wives.
posted by elizardbits at 10:32 AM on October 10, 2013


for purposes of completion: what happens when you mix Supernatural and Metafilter
posted by The Whelk at 10:33 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


This whole "[THING] is really fanfic/RPF/science fiction" contrarian business is good for a laugh, yes, but it's not a very useful way to think ideas through because it plays so fast and loose with genre, style, audience and intent that you really don't have any concepts left at the end of the day.

It's made-up stories about famous people fucking.
posted by elizardbits at 10:34 AM on October 10, 2013



Also, slash RPF in that particular fandom is no more and no less than regular heterosexual delusions which culminated in a fan attending a convention in a wedding dress and physically assaulting one of the stars, or fans tweeting death threats to the stars' wives.


Oh, of course, absolutely. The reason I find the "but they are really the gays" stuff annoying is that I believe very strongly (as a gender-nonconforming/trans-type queer person) that it's important to respect people's stated orientations.

(Absent some politically important reason to out them along with actual evidence, of course.)
posted by Frowner at 10:35 AM on October 10, 2013


Here is a helpful article on the fandom history of RPF. (Which on preview I now see asperity already linked.) At any rate, fandom has already had the giant arguments over RPF and whether it's a good thing or not. It's more or less settled in as a mainstream part of fandom at this point, though there are plenty of fans who don't have any interest in it.

I used to be creeped out by RPF, but now I agree with one of the quotes in the Fanlore article that "Rps characters, by contrast, are total chimaerae. They are wraiths (and not of the SGA variety). They are insubstantial; they are surface; they are the ultimate screens for our projections." RPF isn't really about the real people involved, it's about the constructed narratives around those people. I do think there's a lot more room for ugliness in RPF, especially when it comes to fans' reactions to the real people's real life wives, girlfriends, etc., and that has definitely given RPF some of its bad reputation. But honestly, most RPF is just an excuse for porn, or it's basically a generic M/M romance novel.
posted by yasaman at 10:36 AM on October 10, 2013


could it be that the players are almost exclusively white?

I did notice that Wayne Simmonds didn't appear to make it into any stories, and he's still a Flyer.
posted by gladly at 10:37 AM on October 10, 2013


I want Anne Helen Petersen to write a freaking thesis on RPF and how it relates to celebrity culture.
posted by The Whelk at 10:37 AM on October 10, 2013


The weirdness in Supernatural fandom is less because of people writing RPF and more because of a select group of fans not being able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. This would be true no matter what they were writing.

Oh, man - this actually also reminds me of the fan reaction I read about when Cote de Pablo announced she was going to be leaving NCIS. Apparently some fans got so bent out of shape that a couple of other cast members tweeted that "look, people are allowed to leave television shows if they want to."

...I've actually seen a couple of fan-made music videos for NCIS instead - but through a strange connection; I actually worked on one of the very first things Cote de Pablo did in New York, which was this weird musical that was under development at the time. We only did a workshop, a sort of command performance for potential investors; the show ultimately didn't go anywhere, but the creative team behind the music still brought a couple cast members into the studio to record a couple of the songs and posted them all on their web site. And then when Cote got onto NCIS, eventually the fans tracked down that web site, and suddenly YouTube was being filled with sappy fan-made music videos featuring the big showstopping Torch Song she sang in our show.

I ran into the playwright of the show years later and told her I'd seen this. We both agreed that the whole thing felt incredibly surreal.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:38 AM on October 10, 2013


But honestly, most RPF is just an excuse for porn, or it's basically a generic M/M romance novel.

Yes, exactly. Which is why I predict there will be (or already is) fanfic of Captive Prince with the main characters replaced by 1D band members.
posted by elizardbits at 10:42 AM on October 10, 2013


It's made-up stories about famous people fucking.

Which is why the Bible isn't actually RPF. Not a lot of conventionally "real" people in the Bible; only some fucking and much of that offstage, which is not characteristic of RPF at all; hardly any romance except David and Jonathon or Ruth and Naomi. Also, the people in the Bible are not famous a priori; they're famous because they are in the Bible. It's as if someone wrote a RPF about Bob in Accounting which then went viral causing Bob to be harassed and stalked and the writer went to HR and said "but this shouldn't count, Bob is famous on the internet!".

I think the best argument for RPF is simply "would it bother you, Frowner, if someone wrote pornography about a long-dead historical figure?" Which it wouldn't, especially. I'd probably respond by arguing that RPF operates as porn and fantasy because it's about living or not-long-dead people and that it's about personal wish fulfillment on some level. I'd probably try to exclude whatever that book by the Atrocity Exhibition guy is that has Reagan in it and EL Doctorow's World's Fair, which I don't really like much but which is certainly chock-a-block with famous people and has a rather steamy dub-con Emma Goldman scene.
posted by Frowner at 10:42 AM on October 10, 2013


There's just something about sweaty, pasty, unshaven, toothless slavic men sliding around in frigid temperatures in padding that obsures nearly every detail of their bodies except for the rawest humanoid form that really gets my juices flowing.

Add in the occasional Octopus and you can have Tenticle Porn too!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 10:45 AM on October 10, 2013


RPF has never, ever been my thing (I didn't want to picture Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny getting together--they were both married at the time!--but rather the characters of Mulder and Scully, who were both single and so so right for each other WTF Chris Carter, bees arghhhh). Ahem.

On the other hand, I'm not going to stop other people from writing RPF, reading, reviewing, etc and I don't think anyone in fandom should. Yes, creating fictional versions of real people can be incredibly disturbing (in some cases) but who am I to judge? I like Mpreg. And there are plenty of other areas of fanfic (hello twincest) that can't go around judging either. That old fanfic warning about 'if this isn't your cup of tea, please leave the pot so others may enjoy'? Yep, I believe it applies even to RPF.

There's already a lot of weird gender dynamics in fanfic (I wouldn't say race goes off the rails as often, but that may be because so much of what fandom is writing about is explicitly or implicitly all-white anyway)--like the predominantly female slash writers who make harpies* of female characters and re-write canon relationships to make their idealized slash couple work.

*conscious word choice there

So to my mind, judging others? Doesn't make sense in what was for so many years a really marginalized and judged community. Even hockey RPF, which I will never in ten million years read, clearly has devoted fans. With the caveat that stalking the real people you're writing about or otherwise being unable to clearly separate fiction from reality is not ok, have at it RPF-ers.
posted by librarylis at 11:15 AM on October 10, 2013


but rather the characters of Mulder and Scully, who were both single and so so right for each other WTF Chris Carter, bees arghhhh

No romo till I die, you slatternly shipper. /totally shipperist*

*but only when it comes to the X-files. And Sleepy Hollow. And Elementary. And...no that's it. Ichabod/Sherlock and Abbie/Joan are bros and should stay that way. Ichabod and Jenny might work though.
posted by nooneyouknow at 12:15 PM on October 10, 2013


There is fan fiction for just about everything else, why not hockey? I'm sure David Freese has a small shrine in the homes of some Cardinals fans of both sexes... why not a literary tribute as well?
posted by Driven at 12:21 PM on October 10, 2013


I did notice that Wayne Simmonds didn't appear to make it into any stories, and he's still a Flyer.

There are at least a few. The article's data's pretty limited.
posted by asperity at 12:24 PM on October 10, 2013


Oh lord, so many of my friends are so into hockey, and now the season's about to start, and they ignore everything else, and it doesn't matter that I finally got one into Night Vale, or that the Thor movie is coming out, or even the insanity that is Sleepy Hollow, because it's hockey time.

I just bury my head in something else and go "LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU HOCKEY DOESN'T EXIST."

Also, in the great RPF wars (because, oh lord, they were wars. They split friends and fandoms and it was only until people didn't want to write dirtywrong Wincest that it suddenly became fine), I always pointed to Clive Barker's Coldheart Canyon, which, admittedly, was not a great work of literary art, nor was it a great example of RPF, but I could say (and this does contain slight spoilers for the novel) "If Clive Barker can write Claudette Colbert getting off on sticking her breast in a jar full of bees, and get paid for it, then, for Christ's sake, I can write *NSync getting a monkey's paw in the mail, and enjoy my life without you criticising me."

And then I'd write Justin Timberlake becoming a zombie. Because I could.
posted by Katemonkey at 12:33 PM on October 10, 2013


Meanwhile, Joe Thornton is giving a big helping hand to whoever's out there writing fanfic about him.
posted by Copronymus at 12:40 PM on October 10, 2013


My first introduction to RPF was for the cast of Lord of the Rings - although I should specify , not the Viggorlijah/tin hat, wackadoo brigade that was doing the thing where it all gets carried out into real life. I was a Miranda Otto gets whoever/whatever she wants fan, and essentially read a bunch of stories by one person whose writing and sensibilites I could trust.

The lure for me was the seemingly tight-knit bonding that was apparently going on. And honestly, it was the DVD extras that cemented it all into place. I'm fairly sure there is fanfic out there about some of the props guys or costumers or third elf from the left. (Especially when said elf later turns up as part of a New Zealand musical comedy duo.)
posted by PussKillian at 1:04 PM on October 10, 2013


I have never been much of an RPF person, because I like genre in my genre-- if there aren't swordfights or spaceships or similar, I get bored easily.

But last Yuletide I ended up writing Doctor Who RPF in which Matt, Arthur and Karen are terrible hipsters who run a vintage shop, because I stalled out on the story I actually matched on.

And this Yuletide I am requesting a story in which Julia Child, Roald Dahl, and Christopher Lee form an improbably tall Nazi-fighting spy team during WWII. (fun fact: this is not actually that far divorced from reality, except for the team-up bit!)

So I guess I'm coming around.
posted by nonasuch at 1:19 PM on October 10, 2013


We all know that, the question is why Hockey RPF seems to be so popular, way more so than say, Baseball RPF or Basketball RPF.


Well, the racial makeup of professional hockey players vs. pro football, baseball, and basketball is pretty hard to ignore here.
posted by mcmile at 11:23 AM on October 10 [1 favorite +] [!]

I mean, it is and it isn't. Certainly hockey is the whitest professional sport. But the bulk of the stories seem to be centred around a small number of specific players (usually the stars, obvs.) and it's not like baseball and football don't have loads of white star athletes people could choose. In a universe with only hockey and basketball, I think your point is stronger. But there's plenty of possibilities for people to write football stories stories where Aaron Rodgers Clay Matthews or baseball stories where Mike's Trout swims up Albert's Pujols or whatever.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 2:52 PM on October 10, 2013


Homeboy Trouble: "Mike's Trout swims up Albert's Pujols"

<Takei> Oh, my! </Takei>
posted by tonycpsu at 2:58 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


And this Yuletide I am requesting a story in which Julia Child, Roald Dahl, and Christopher Lee form an improbably tall Nazi-fighting spy team during WWII. (fun fact: this is not actually that far divorced from reality, except for the team-up bit!)


That's weird, my checkbook just opened by itself.
posted by The Whelk at 3:24 PM on October 10, 2013


I'm fairly sure there is fanfic out there about some of the props guys or costumers or third elf from the left. (Especially when said elf later turns up as part of a New Zealand musical comedy duo.)

Ask and ye shall receive your share of Rule 34.

In fact, the fans actually created a name for that third-elf-from-the-left ("Figwit" - it's actually an acronym for "Frodo is grea- who is THAT?").
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:38 PM on October 10, 2013


Yeah, it took me a while to figure out the acronym. For a long time it was just "tee Hee, Figwit" all over my LJ friends feed. And of course it was years until the whole Flight of the Conchords stuff came up.
posted by PussKillian at 6:06 PM on October 10, 2013


I'm fairly sure there is fanfic out there about some of the props guys or costumers or third elf from the left.

Yes, yes there is.
I have friends who worked on the films. If you were an unemployed male uni student at the time, you basically ended up as an Elf.

If they showed up for more than a few seconds, they often got 'assigned' names from the LOTR books (one of them even has an action figure, and another, a trading card).

A fan in the US ended up contacting them, and building little fan sites for some of them?
One was my downstairs neighbour at the time, and he even sent her (the fan), pictures of himself wearing very shady black glasses in front of our house. I wont link, because, more embarrassing than anything, really.
The one with the action figure answered questions - he also helped with special effects, and during filming, he'd come home and make silly prosthetics like elf ear tips and third eyes.

Anyway, at a party the brought-back-from-China-Vodka had come out already *shudder*), someone had the bright idea of googling their elf names.
Sooooo... there was fanfic.
Which were duly read aloud.
At the party.
And the only things they were mentioned in, being such bit parts, were basically huuuge 10-20 character Elf orgies.

It was pretty horrendous, but as bad as that was (and sorry for the ill-thought-out humiliation, guys!) the worst part of the evening was still the Chinese Vodka, which did not taste like something any health and safety standards had ever been near. It tasted poisonous.
I spat, I did not swallow (Unlike Elves in Elf orgies - Ba dumsht! :P).
posted by Elysum at 7:43 PM on October 10, 2013


Anyway, at a party the brought-back-from-China-Vodka had come out already *shudder*), someone had the bright idea of googling their elf names.
Sooooo... there was fanfic.
Which were duly read aloud.
At the party.
And the only things they were mentioned in, being such bit parts, were basically huuuge 10-20 character Elf orgies.


I have never more in my life wished to have been a fly on a wall.

(Also - I really really really really deep down wish that Suddenly, Elf Ass was among you.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:50 PM on October 10, 2013


Elf orgies and Chinese Vodka. There's a combination born to be together.
posted by PussKillian at 7:53 PM on October 10, 2013


Not gonna lie, this is what I thought I was getting into when i joined the MeFi Fantasy Hockey Pool. I'm a little disappointed frankly, but it's OK I guess.
posted by Hoopo at 10:21 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Chinese vodka? Or baijiu? Good baijiu is awesome, though it is quite strong if you're not used to it, and there's certainly shitty quality ones around.
posted by kmz at 7:21 AM on October 11, 2013


I wouldn't exactly call baijiu a "vodka". Sure it's a grain-derived spirit, but it's usually lower in alcohol content (30%) and its flavor is anything but neutural, on purpose, just like how rum or tequila is not vodka.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 7:34 AM on October 11, 2013


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