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1. Somebody, somewhere does something bad
October 11, 2013 10:29 AM   Subscribe

The 29 Stages of a Twitterstorm

"Fergus McContrary is a writer and co-founder of Plank magazine."
posted by Diablevert (47 comments total) 24 users marked this as a favorite

 
Step 29 is a lie. There really should be 30 steps. The actual step 29 is to write "17 animated gifs that are totally having a worse day than the PriceHound dog."
posted by phunniemee at 10:33 AM on October 11, 2013 [4 favorites]


I suddenly don't feel my life will be complete until somebody with a Hello Kitty avatar tweets "your a dick" to me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:35 AM on October 11, 2013 [10 favorites]


I think I have read a few articles by Susannah Troll as well.
posted by Curious Artificer at 10:37 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


Step 30 is future Scooby-Doo villains exclaiming "And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you Twittering kids!"
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:39 AM on October 11, 2013


Yep, that pretty much covers it.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:42 AM on October 11, 2013


You can put a lot of ads in between the parts of a 29-step process.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:43 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


9. People start sending angry messages to the wrong Twitter account.

Step 9a: Canadians then appologize to wrong Twitter account holder.
posted by Kabanos at 10:44 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


Pricehound Twitter
William Price-Hound Twitter

Gordon Darroch ‏@synthjock 3h
I see @PriceHound are marketing own-brand penis beakers now. Are there no depths to which this shameless company will not plunge?

posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:47 AM on October 11, 2013 [4 favorites]


I prefer the term "twit-fit".
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:48 AM on October 11, 2013


Fergus McContrary is a real guest columnist in The Guardian though.
posted by Artw at 10:49 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


12. There are now lots of petitions. Nobody is entirely sure which petition to sign.

I overcome this by never signing online petitions.
posted by COD at 10:49 AM on October 11, 2013 [5 favorites]


Oh, man, Kabanos - that guy is handling that kind of confusion really, really well.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:50 AM on October 11, 2013


I am only at #7 and I am already laughing so hard I've got tears pouring down my face.
posted by JanetLand at 10:51 AM on October 11, 2013


I've a suspicion that this is slightly based on the ASDA mental patient costume twitterstorm, which led to a friend of mine being on the BBC.
posted by Artw at 10:52 AM on October 11, 2013


Interesting that Buzzfeed does not include themselves in this twittoboros.
posted by Think_Long at 10:53 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


For those of you who didn't experience the shock of turning on BBC in the 1970s, the fake toy advertised in this is referencing the Black and White Minstrel Show, which managed to remain on the air all the way until 1978.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:53 AM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]


Interesting that Buzzfeed does not include themselves in this twittoboros.

Look closer - there's a Buzzfeed UK tweet: "23 basset hounds who can't believe how racist Pricehound is".
posted by brennen at 10:55 AM on October 11, 2013 [7 favorites]


Ah, missed that bit.
posted by Think_Long at 10:56 AM on October 11, 2013


Interesting that Buzzfeed does not include themselves in twittoboros.

You missed their crucial tick-tock on this developing story, "29 Bassett hounds who can't believe the price hound dog"?
posted by Diablevert at 11:01 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


140 characters go awry in 29 steps? Seems too many.
posted by tilde at 11:02 AM on October 11, 2013


SCOTUSBlog has been stuck on Step 9 ever since the same-sex marriage ruling. It's an endless stream of entertainment.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:03 AM on October 11, 2013


referencing the Black and White Minstrel Show,

Good old fashioned family entertainment... aka prime grade wtfuckary
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:07 AM on October 11, 2013 [8 favorites]


Good old fashioned family entertainment

There just aren't enough favorites for that link. Wow.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:12 AM on October 11, 2013


The phrase "brand eschatology" as a thing one can have expertise in is beautiful and will stick with me. I can now tell my boss that, no, I don't suck at maintaining the integrity of RNA - I am an RNA eschatologist.
posted by Blasdelb at 11:17 AM on October 11, 2013 [4 favorites]


That link sent me in a daze to Wikipedia and now holy shit I cannot believe that was ever a thing, much less a wildly popular mass-media thing. In the '70s!

My brain hurts.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:20 AM on October 11, 2013


This is so perfect especially for some of the outrage-a-holics that follow me that I got tweets accusing me of stereotyping them which was also perfect.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:24 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


holy shit I cannot believe that was ever a thing, much less a wildly popular mass-media thing. In the '70s!

If you never saw the movie C.S.A., there's a similar shock at the end - once you've spent the whole movie laughing at how outrageously satirical some of its joke "ads" are, then suddenly at the end you get the sucker-punch of finding out that a lot of those ads were thinly based on actual ads for actual products that existed well into the 20th Century.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:24 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


The 29 Stages of a Twitterstorm

Oh, come on. "Twitstorm", surely.
posted by gurple at 11:42 AM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]


This was created by MeFi's own flashboy.
posted by TheDonF at 12:13 PM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]


Oddly similar to the Tyler The Creator "blackface" shirts and hats
posted by Ad hominem at 12:16 PM on October 11, 2013


That was surprisingly good! Fergus McContrary is my new code name! I also like gorkitty.
posted by Mister_A at 12:17 PM on October 11, 2013


"Touch Benedict Cumberbatch" is trending.
posted by gompa at 12:20 PM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]


Twitter is the worst thing in the universe. The fake Guardian story at #22 is the best.
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 1:03 PM on October 11, 2013


Love William Price-Hound's twitter avatar.
posted by Sauce Trough at 1:49 PM on October 11, 2013


"Touch Benedict Cumberbatch" is trending.

When is it not?
posted by nubs at 2:04 PM on October 11, 2013


Damn that was funny. Funny because it's true.
posted by Samizdata at 3:54 PM on October 11, 2013


#relatable
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:14 PM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Echoing funny because it's true.
posted by localroger at 6:06 PM on October 11, 2013


Wow. Fearful Symmetry's link is like a Lawrence Welk show from bizzaro universe.
posted by oozy rat in a sanitary zoo at 6:35 PM on October 11, 2013


At least the bird-watching @pricehound is having a good day:
Seen an astonishing number of great tits today.

Also a Long-tailed Skua, three Arctic Turns, and seven Lapland Buntings.
posted by mbrubeck at 8:30 PM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]


I laughed at @maximgorkitty.
posted by the cydonian at 8:32 PM on October 11, 2013


That was much too good for buzzfeed. It just got better and better as it went on. Usually it's the other way around: a few "heh"s as you get the joke and then you end up clicking away after about four of the same.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:36 AM on October 12, 2013


"Fergus McContrary is a writer and co-founder of Plank magazine."

Fergus McContrary is Brendan O'Neill and I claim my five pounds!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:57 AM on October 12, 2013


This is amazingly accurate, especially for Buzzfeed. I sent it out to several people I know but I think they won't get the joke.

Also, for Australians, Susannah Troll IS HELEN RAZOR!
posted by Mezentian at 9:57 AM on October 12, 2013


Seen an astonishing number of great tits today!

For Buzzfeed, this is great.
posted by Mezentian at 10:03 AM on October 12, 2013


23. Focusing on the key issue, social media “experts” rub their hands with glee at a new case study to write about.

Okay, I guffawed at this point.
posted by gimonca at 3:39 PM on October 12, 2013


Oddly similar to the Tyler The Creator "blackface" shirts and hats

One major problem I have is that the creator here has mixed up his offensive imagery, that is a "Sambo" character not "blackface". If you are going to coopt something so offensive, at least get your terminology right.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:02 AM on October 15, 2013


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